Rapture's Gold

by Rosanne Bittner

  But the ordeal brought renewed pain to Buck, followed by four more days of weakness and healing. In a sense Harmony was glad, for that prolonged the time they had before he sought what he would want once he felt better. She wanted him, but the reality of their coming together made her apprehensive. It had seemed something they would talk about, not really do, until their burning kiss the day Hank was there. Yet the thought of Buck Hanner looking at her with desire again, touching her that way, invading her, brought a flushed nervousness to her skin. Did he compare her to other women? Would he like her as much when he was sober? Would it hurt as badly as the first time? She wanted him, yet she did not want him. It seemed that since Buck Hanner had come into her life, she was constantly confused.

  She loved him, but why couldn’t that be simple? Why did it have to mean trust and marriage and children, allowing him to take liberties with her body and she wanting his? Why was love so frightening and complicated? She had been so certain of how she would conduct her life when first she’d come out here. She’d had no doubts whatsoever. Then she’d seen Buck Hanner on that train, and for the first time the look of a man had aroused feelings better left buried.

  Meanwhile Buck’s condition slowly improved, and on the tenth day after he’d taken the bullet, Harmony came in from panning to find him standing beside the stove, wearing only his long johns and pouring himself a cup of coffee. She looked surprised when he turned to meet her eyes. Then she closed the door and stomped off snow.

  “You’re up! Are you sure you should be?” she asked.

  “It’s about time, don’t you think?” His eyes roved over her as though she wore nothing.

  She swallowed. “I suppose.” She smiled then. “I’m glad.”

  Buck frowned teasingly. “I’m not so sure you are.”

  She removed her coat hesitantly. “I just…it was nice feeling needed.”

  He set the cup down on the table and walked over to her, grasping her arms, his bare chest and shoulders close, so close. “You’re still needed, Harmony Jones. You’ll always be needed.”

  She raised her eyes to his, and he could feel her tremble. He sighed and shook his head. “What did you think? That as soon as I was on my feet I’d throw you on the bed and expect to have my way with you?”

  “I…wasn’t sure.”

  His lips met hers gently, then moved to her forehead. “Relax, Shortcake. You’ve got to learn to let things happen, like they’re supposed to. And right now I’m so dizzy that if I wasn’t hanging on to you I’d be on the floor.”

  “Oh!” She put an arm around his waist and helped him back to the bed. “I told you it was too soon,” she chided.

  “A little bit each day. Give me one more week and I’ll be good as new. I guess my original plan for you went a bit astray, doctor.”

  She smiled. “That’s all right. I can wait.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Oh, Buck, you know what I mean. I just get all shaky and unsure again.”

  He sat down on the bed. When he tried to pull her down to kiss him, she pulled away.

  “You rest like you’re supposed to do, Buck Hanner. I’m going back out to work.”

  He frowned. “You work harder than a man. You rich enough yet?”

  “No. I’ll never be rich enough.”

  She went out the door and he stared after her, wondering if Harmony Jones would ever know what she really wanted. How many ways did a man have to prove his love and loyalty?

  For the next four days Harmony made herself scarce, only coming in long enough to feed him and to prepare a bath for him, then leaving before he took it so she would not be in the same room while he undressed. He knew she was running again, fighting her feelings, being defensive. She’d come inside after dark, then sit and count her gold until he was asleep, and she made a bed for herself on the floor.

  The fifth night after he’d gotten on his feet again, Buck could see that if he didn’t do something, she’d revert to the old Harmony, allowing her fears to overtake her wants. He waited, pretending to be asleep as she counted her gold again. When she rose to turn out the lamp, he called her name as she leaned over it. She met his eyes, looking surprised.

  “I thought you were asleep,” she told him.

  “I know what you thought. Leave the lamp lit, Harmony.” It was a gentle command again. She could feel his masculine magnetism, knew by instinct he was much stronger—nearly healed—knew what he wanted. She stood rigid, in love but afraid. “Take off your clothes. I want to look at you.”

  She swallowed, shaking. “I…can’t.”

  He reached out to her then, and her eyes teared. She made her legs take her around the table, and she grasped his hand. “Help me, Buck,” she whispered. “I’m so scared.”

  “You love me?”

  She nodded. He pulled her closer then, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her onto the bed. His broad, strong shoulders hovered over her then, and he gently kissed her forehead, her eyes, her cheeks, her throat, her lips. The kiss on her lips lingered until he could tell her curiosity and love were again overcoming her fears. Then she began to return the kiss, suddenly eager with passion, the child in her making her move almost too quickly. He kissed her harder to calm her down, pinning her beneath him, his renewed strength reminding her of the man Buck Hanner was. If a woman wanted to pick the best—the most strong, brave, and handsome—man in the world, she guessed that would be Buck Hanner. And here he was, in her arms, wanting her, loving her—hers for the taking. She wondered if she would ever truly be woman enough for him? She’d learned much since she’d met him, but lingering fears kept her from fully blossoming.

  He began unbuttoning her shirt. “Wait,” she told him. “I’ll do it.” Their eyes held. “Don’t hurt me, Buck. I…I don’t mean just physically. I mean…don’t leave me. Don’t stop loving me.”

  He smiled softly. “Never. Never, never, never.”

  She kissed his cheek. “I do love you.” She sat up then and unbuttoned her shirt, braver now, excited, wanting to please him. Her cheeks turned scarlet when she exposed her firm, lovely breasts, and his eyes glazed as he watched. When she lay back and unbuttoned the boys’ pants she had begun to prefer to dresses, he sat up and took hold of them, gently pulling them down over her slender thighs, hot fire in the tips of his fingers as they touched her skin. Her underwear came off with the trousers, and he threw both to the floor. Then he just sat, looking at her. Finally, he ran a big hand along her leg, up the side of her hip and over her belly. When he lightly brushed the secret place only Buck Hanner had ever seen or touched, she drew up her knees.

  “You’re like an angel, Harmony,” he told her, his voice husky with desire. His hand moved to her breasts, gently massaging them until the nipples became full as her passion grew. He bent lower then, to taste them, and her breath came in little gasps.

  She wondered why she had put this off, why she had been afraid. This was Buck, her protector, her friend—her lover. There was not one promise he had not kept. She reached around and tangled slender fingers in his thick hair, whispering his name as she felt his warm breath against her breasts. His lips moved to her throat, while the hand that was so calloused and strong caressed her secret places with surprising gentleness. His lips met hers at the moment his fingers invaded the nest of love that was silken with moist passion, and she could not help whimpering with aroused passion as fire built and then raged deep in her abdomen until moments later an explosion of feeling ripped through her. She cried out his name, ecstatic now. Yes! It was more wonderful than she had remembered. Buck had made it wonderful. Buck! Beautiful, wonderful Buck.

  He’d come back! He’d saved her, had almost died doing it! Buck! He moved on top of her now. Why, oh why had she avoided this? Her legs parted willingly as his lips moved to her throat again, that most manly part of him probing, pushing.

  “Hang on, Shortcake,” he groaned. At almost the same instant he was invading her, thrusting deep, reclaiming that which he had
already claimed. She cried out then, from the pain; but it was not as bad as before, just as he’d promised. Everything was just as he’d promised. Yes, she could trust him!

  “Buck! Buck!” she whimpered, arching up to him. In all his years he’d never experienced such sweet glory with a woman. It was better this time, for she was sober and willing, and he could tell she was enjoying it. She loved him. He could tell by her voice, her eyes, by the wanton rhythm of her body.

  He moved with her, and she with him, each alive with savage desire. Alive and in love! Before long his vital fluid poured into her and he groaned, slumping down onto her in sweet release, exhausted.

  For several minutes they lay there, neither speaking. Then he raised up on his left elbow, favoring his right side which was still sore. “Don’t you move,” he said in a near whisper. “Stay right where you are, Shortcake. I don’t want to break the spell. You’re staying right here all night. I’ll never get my fill of you.”

  With her fingers she traced his finely chiseled lips and straight, handsome nose. “Am I the best…of all the girls you’ve been with?”

  He laughed lightly and kissed her nose. “You’re the best, the very best. I’ll never want another woman the rest of my life.”

  “Promise?”

  “Promise.”

  She smiled. Buck Hanner had never broken a promise yet, and suddenly thinking of him with any other woman brought rage to her soul.

  “I love you,” she whispered. “I want to do it again.”

  He sighed as though she were asking him to do a chore. “I suppose, if you insist.”

  She giggled. “I insist.”

  He kissed her tenderly. “You’re a demanding woman, Harmony Jones.”

  “Am I? Am I really a woman?”

  He grinned and bent to kiss her throat. “Oh, yes, my love. You are indeed a woman.”

  She closed her eyes, tingling at the touch of his lips. What a beautiful man he was! Surely nothing could go wrong now. Nothing could take Buck Hanner from her, and he loved her, so he’d not desert her. Not Buck.

  “Oh, I love you, Buck!” she whispered. “I love you so!”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Harmony had no idea one person could experience such happiness. For two weeks they worked by day and made love by night. The snow had melted enough to allow the horses to nibble wet grass, but Buck was worried about the animals. He’d asked Hank to leave Indian and one of the other horses, thinking that he’d soon be going into Cripple Creek to marry Harmony. But his wound and her fears had prevented that. He knew that the horses must be taken into the valley where there was more to eat.

  But like Harmony, he hoped the animals could find enough grass for a while, for he didn’t want to leave this place where they had found so much happiness and love. This was their little world, and doubts or not, Harmony Jones had admitted that she loved him, and he had had her in his arms every night. That was enough for now. If she wanted to keep working the claim awhile longer, he’d work it with her.

  When he began digging near the high rock behind the cabin, he found a few large stones that were rich with specks of gold which could be pried from them with a knife. Harmony began spending the days separating the gold from the rocks while Buck shoveled deeper and farther. He intended to set off some dynamite at the base of the rocky hill behind the house and then start tunneling inward. If Harmony Jones was determined to see what was here, he’d help her. The sooner they found out the better, for he wanted to prove or disprove the claim, then get her to town to marry her. This would be a bonanza or a washout. He almost hoped for the latter. He wanted her to forget about the gold and the claim, to marry him and settle down. But her tenseness every time he suggested she do that told him to be careful.

  Still, he could see the love and trust growing in her eyes every day, and it felt good to allow himself to love and trust in return. He never thought he could love anyone this much, not after Mary Beth. But Harmony Jones was everything a man could want—young and beautiful, intelligent, hard-working, level-headed—and in bed he’d never known such ecstasy. Her innocent eagerness and curiosity excited him. She was clay in his hands, to be molded as he wanted. He enjoyed teaching her things, and he experienced great pleasure each time he broke through that little wall of resistance she still put up whenever they started to make love. He liked to release all the passion and sweetness that was stored up inside this young woman who was so full of hurt and bad memories. He was determined that his love for her would eventually overwhelm her fear and hesitation, for she often woke up shaking and crying, saying nothing, only clinging to him. There was nothing he could do at those times but hold her tightly and reassure her of his love.

  A fierce storm hit on the first of February, just before Buck was about to do some experimenting with the dynamite. The cabin was literally buried in snow, and Buck had no choice but to untie the two horses and whack them, hoping they would have sense enough to head downward until they reached the valley where they could find food. Harmony stood beside him at the top of the cabin steps, which they had had to dig out, and they watched the two animals struggle through the deep snow, their hunger forcing them to head for warmer places. In the valley the snow would disappear quickly—it usually did in this part of Colorado—but at the elevation of Harmony’s cabin, it would be around for a while.

  “Do you think they’ll make it, Buck?”

  He watched Indian with concern. “I hope so. I don’t like to see horses suffer. I should have taken them down a long time ago, I guess.” He put an arm around her shoulders. “But for some reason I just couldn’t seem to get away.” He looked down at her, and she blushed. He loved to see her blush, in spite of all their intimate moments. “Looks like we’re really stuck here for a while now, Shortcake.”

  “Do you mind?” she asked seriously.

  He grinned. “What do you think?” He bent down and kissed her lightly. “Fact is, I can think of a damned good way to keep warm and pass the time as long as the snow is too deep for anything else.”

  She smiled and pulled him back inside. “Do you think you’ll find Indian again?” she asked, as he closed and bolted the door.

  “I’ll sure as hell try. I wouldn’t be surprised if Indian found me instead. I think we’ll get together. He’s a damned good horse. I hated turning him loose like that, but I’d rather lose him than have him die of hunger. I couldn’t live with that.”

  He removed his jacket and walked over to stoke up the fire in the stove that served for both heating and cooking. A pot of stew, flavored with squirrel meat, was simmering. Harmony stirred it while Buck put more wood in the stove. After he’d closed and latched the iron door, he just watched her for a moment. Yes, she was a perfect mate. He began to untie the rawhide strip at the end of her braid, laying it aside and unwinding her thick, golden hair.

  “Buck Hanner, I just fixed that braid!”

  “I know. But I like it loose, and you can’t go out and work today anyway.”

  She smiled and sighed. Why did a simple thing like his loosening her hair stir her? He was so manly, yet sweet and gentle though rock-hard strong and sure. It made her heart flutter to think she could actually please such a man, one who had had lots of women and who seemed to have been everywhere and done everything.

  “Buck?”

  “What?” He ran his fingers through her hair to smooth it out.

  “Come spring, we’ll…we’ll sell the claim, for whatever we think it’s worth by then. We could use the money toward a real nice ranch and get set up. That would make it nice for you.”

  His heart swelled with love. “You saying you’re ready to get married come spring?”

  She sighed. “Fact is, if it wasn’t for this storm and not being able to get to the valley, I’d marry you right now. I don’t know what I was so afraid of.”

  Reaching from behind her, he grasped her wrist so she stopped stirring, and he turned her, studying her green eyes. “You serious?”

  She
smiled softly. “I’m serious.” She rested her head against his chest. “I wish I could explain how I felt when I was little, Buck, when my folks left me in St. Louis. I’ve never forgotten how it felt and I never want to be that afraid or that alone again. That’s why it’s been so hard for me to put all my love and faith into one person. Can you understand that?”

  He kissed her hair. “I’ve always understood that. Why do you think I’ve been so patient with you?”

  “And the other…kids, I mean. You’ll have to help me there. I’m so afraid of children, Buck. What if I hate my own, the way my parents hated me?”

  He held her close, rubbing her back. “You won’t hate your own children, Harmony. People don’t usually do what their parents did. They were very selfish. You aren’t a selfish person, and there is usually nothing stronger than a mother’s love. I guarantee if and when we have children, you’ll be amazed at how much you love them. You’ll love them even more than you love me.”

  She looked up at him. “I could never love anyone more than I love you.”

  He picked her up in his arms. “You’ll love our children more, and I won’t mind. You’re a sweet, wonderful girl, Harmony, full of love but just afraid to share it. Now you’re doing that, and when you have a baby, love will come flowing out of you like water from an overfilled barrel.”

  He laid her on the bed and unbuttoned her shirt.

  “Buck, it’s morning.”

  “So? Is there a rule about the time of day people are supposed to enjoy each other?”

  She smiled. “I guess not.”

  “Well, with those winds howling out there, can you think of anything else to do? I’m a little tired of cards.”