Safe Word: Oasis 5: Mina's Heart

by Michele Zurlo

  Wilder waited until their flight touched down in San Francisco before he questioned Everett’s quietness. As the passengers around them scrambled to grab their carry-on bags, Wild folded his hands across his stomach and threw his query at Everett. “So what’s going on with you and Mina?”

  Ever shrugged and tried to stand, but Wild had the aisle seat, and he showed no signs of wanting to join the masses.

  “Come on. Who do you think you’re fooling? She might have given you a really nice good-bye kiss, but she practically pushed you onto the plane.”

  Outside the window, Ever spied trees with green leaves. The fall colors in Vermont were breathtakingly beautiful, but that season didn’t seem to exist in Southern California. “I’m going to ask her to marry me.”

  “That’s not a bad thing.” Wild peered at him, his crystal eyes turning cloudy with confusion.

  Mina had been a little abrupt with him, but he didn’t think it was due to having received her first punishment. After they’d talked about it, she’d let the matter drop. They’d made dinner together, coordinating their culinary efforts flawlessly, and then he’d made love to her. Joining their bodies and hearts bonded them more every time they had sex. Since he knew he wouldn’t be seeing her for a few days, he couldn’t pass up the chance to make sure she knew exactly how much she meant to him.

  Still, she had issues confiding in him. The element of complete trust hadn’t quite developed between them, but they were making progress. The fact that she’d asked him to stop being so vanilla was telling. She was a true submissive, and she needed him to dominate her.

  Getting engaged would prove to her that he was fully invested in their relationship. “No, but I think she suspects, and I think she’s nervous about it.”

  “Why would she be nervous?”

  Everett shrugged. “I’m not sure. I don’t think her parents had the best relationship.”

  Wild chuckled. “They’re divorced, so probably not.”

  It was more than that. She didn’t talk about her father at all. “I think her dad was abusive. I’m not sure exactly how, but I think it’s made her a little gun-shy. We’re still working on building trust. I asked her to think about moving in with me when the house was finished.”

  That wasn’t news to his brother. Wilder usually knew what he was thinking. None of his family had been surprised to learn that he’d changed the design of the house based on her preferences.

  “And she said?”

  She hadn’t answered. Everett shrugged. “She didn’t say yes, but she didn’t say no either.”

  “Ahhh, I get it. She wasn’t jazzed that you wanted to live together, so by proposing, you aim to show her that you’re serious.”

  He knew Wild would understand. While he wasn’t in a rush to get married, he recognized that Mina would be his bride someday. There was no reason not to start planning the inevitable event. The more he thought about having his ring on her finger, the better he liked the idea. “I love her. She might have some reservations, but I’m going to set all her fears to rest.”

  Wilder looked at him like he was nuts. “You’re going to set her fear of having an abusive husband to rest by dominating her without her informed consent? That’s not going to build trust. Ever, what the hell is wrong with you?”

  Ever swatted his brother’s arm. He didn’t appreciate Wild’s disparaging summation. “Get up, you asshole, before the flight attendants call security to carry us out.”

  Wild narrowed his eyes, his expression glacial, but he waited until they were at the baggage carousel before bringing it up again. “That’s not why she was pushing you onto the tarmac.”

  “What?” Ever snagged Wilder’s bag and kept an eye out for his own.

  “If she suspects you’re going to pop the question, she’s not going to push you away. No, she’s not happy with you. You had a fight?” Wilder snagged Ever’s bag, and they exchanged suitcases.

  He didn’t want to discuss the mistake he’d made, but if anybody was going to understand, it was his brother. Everett matched his stride to Wilder’s, and they headed for the bus that would take them to their rental car.

  It wasn’t until they were alone in the car that he answered Wilder’s question. “She got mad at me, rolled her eyes, called me some names, elbowed me in the ribs. Hard. She hits damn hard.”

  “Awww. Do you have a little bruise?” Wilder cut off someone in the right lane in order to make their turn.

  He did have a bruise. “Fuck you.”

  “Wimp.”

  They weren’t going to get anywhere like this. Ever let it go. “I punished her.”

  Wilder was silent. Ever glanced over to find his brother navigating heavy traffic with his lips pressed together. Finally Wild exhaled a sigh. “I love you, man. You’re my brother and my best friend, so please don’t take this the wrong way. I’ve never seen you be so epically stupid. You’ve had months to talk to her, and you haven’t done it yet. You can’t punish your sub when she’s not your sub. She’s not submitting to you because she wants to. Right now she’s accommodating you, trying to make you happy, and it’s not working for her. And you can’t punish someone who hasn’t agreed to terms. We do this all the time for other people. What makes you think it works differently for you?”

  “I’ve been vanilla with her for the past two months.” As vanilla as he could be. His alpha nature was difficult to suppress, but he’d done it because he loved her. No matter what anyone said, Mina was different. She was special—delicate and deserving of adoration. He had to protect her, make sure she was ready to hear the truth about him.

  Wilder snorted. “How’s that working for you?”

  “She asked me to go back to the way things were. She wants me to dominate her. She asked for bondage and sensory deprivation. I gave her what she asked for.”

  “Did she ask you to dominate her, or did she ask for a little bit of kinky play?”

  “It’s the same thing.”

  “Not to her, it isn’t.”

  The bondage in which they’d engaged was very tame, especially by his brother’s standards. However, he disagreed with Wilder’s assessment. His brother was wrong. Mina wanted him to be her master. She might not know the proper terms, but she felt an undeniable need to submit to him.

  Ever didn’t feel like arguing.

  “I plan to tell her after I ask her to marry me.”

  Wilder didn’t say anything, but the look he gave Ever spoke volumes.

  * * * *

  Mina stared at the barren dirt in the flowerpot. In this crisp October weather, there was nothing to be done with it. She was supposed to be putting the hanging baskets in the storage shed so her mother could bring them out next year and plant new flowers.

  But she was lost in thought, remembering the day Ever had purchased the pot. Flowers had flowed from it, hanging over the sides in a glorious shade of red. He’d asked her to dinner. She’d been nervous and excited to go on a date with a man who had the audacity to kiss her just because she’d agreed to see him.

  He’d been gone for one whole day, and she didn’t miss him. No, that was a lie. She missed the feel of his arms around her. She missed the way he smelled. She missed his laugh. She missed hearing his voice, though she’d let her phone go to voice mail when he had called to let her know he’d made it safely to California. She wanted to tell him she wasn’t sure whether she was more angry or hurt at what he’d done to her, but she couldn’t decide, and she couldn’t figure out why she felt so betrayed.

  She loved Everett Burke with her entire body and soul, yet she felt like she was stuck in a relationship that was going to suck the life from her. She’d asked him to tie her up during sex, and he’d done exactly that, only it hadn’t been what she’d expected. A small part of her had hated the loss of control, but a tiny piece of her argued that he’d done it because he cared. He hadn’t been callous or cruel. She’d called him domineering, and that was an apt description. She just couldn’t figure out whet
her she could have a life with a man who nurtured that kind of tendency. It was all very confusing, because a larger part of her hadn’t hated it one bit.

  Speaking of life, she had promised to sleep at his apartment so that Jolo wouldn’t be alone. She forced herself to finish this last gardening task, and then she packed a bag.

  Jin Ae handed her a plastic storage bowl as she came into the kitchen to bid her mother good night. “Breakfast. You don’t eat enough.”

  Mina smiled in a weak show of gratitude. She hadn’t been very hungry today, a side effect of the emotional upheaval. “Ever left plenty of food for me.”

  He’d stocked up on her favorites before his trip, taking care of her even when he wasn’t there.

  In Ever’s apartment, Jolo meowed loudly and wrapped her body around Mina’s ankles. Mina dropped her bag in the entryway and scooped up the cat. They bumped foreheads. Jolo purred, though she did make it clear that she would prefer to be on Mina’s shoulders.

  Setting her on a window seat, Mina petted her. “No, Jolo. We’ve been over this. My shoulders are not wide enough for you. There’s sliding and slipping, and then it ends with your claws in my back. I’m not into pain or injury.”

  Though Jolo’s owner did seem to be causing Mina some pain and heartache. She didn’t like that either. Ever was the first man for whom she’d had feelings. She’d never been in love before. This first disagreement weighed heavily on her. She wasn’t proud of her behavior. She shouldn’t have hit him like that. She’d seen the deep purple bruise when he’d showered that morning.

  He’d always been careful not to leave bruises on her.

  The idea of telling him that she was a loser who couldn’t get a job made her feel ill.

  Remembering the odd way he’d “punished” her also made her feel ill. What gave him the right to do that to her? Why hadn’t she called the safe word or formed the safe signal? What if doing so meant their relationship was over?

  For several hours, she wandered around his apartment. The television provided a soundtrack, though she barely listened to the home improvement show that featured the foibles of ordinary homeowners trying to renovate their own homes. To Mina it seemed like a cheap way to film a show, though she had to admit it was sometimes funny to see what kinds of stupid things people did.

  She fired up her computer to see if any new job offers were on the horizon. The company in California that had offered her a plane ticket had contacted her again, this time with a proposal that promised more money.

  Mina desperately wanted to accept the offer, but given the fact that Ever wanted her to move in with him next spring, she couldn’t seriously entertain that option. Still, she put off sending a refusal.

  On a whim, she searched for Oasis. It was a band, a college, a dating service for people over fifty, a restaurant chain, and a clothing store, among other things. Too many options, so she narrowed her search by adding “Vermont” and “wishes.”

  One result came up over and over, so she clicked on it.

  The home page was graced by a photograph of a naked woman bound to a chair with a thick rope. Her legs were open, though her pussy was turned away from the camera. In her mouth was a ball gag, similar to what Ever had used on her the night before. A man stood behind her, his hands cupping her breasts. Instruments of torture lay scattered on the floor around them. The model’s eyes were widened in a combination of fear and ecstasy. The caption read This slave is ready to please her master.

  Mina couldn’t tear her eyes from the site, and when she found a sample questionnaire, she nearly had a heart attack. It asked questions about sex—oral, vaginal, and anal—that used words she’d never encountered. It asked about bondage and submission. As she read, she realized why she’d been so unsettled and confused about what Ever had done to her. He’d delivered a master’s punishment for his slave without asking her permission or telling her what he was really doing.

  All this time, he’d been a Dom treating her like a submissive slave. A slave—a role she’d promised herself she’d play for no man. Her life belonged to her, and she was not going to give anyone the power to trample all over her dreams. Flashes of Ever replayed in her memory. At the beginning of their relationship, he’d made her ask to have an orgasm. He’d controlled every aspect of their sex life, and she’d let him. Perhaps he hadn’t been as dominating as the descriptions indicated, but he’d known damn well what he was doing, and he hadn’t once asked her about it. She felt betrayed and used on the most basic level.

  She wasn’t going to stay here and make the same mistake her mother had made all those years ago. Everett’s lies hurt. Pieces of her heart clenched painfully, but it was better to find out now, before she compounded the problem by moving in with him.

  Picking up the phone, she called the California firm that wanted to hire her and made arrangements for a flight.

  * * * *

  The entire display case sparkled. Ever bent down to get a closer look at the complex designs and the different configurations of gems. He huffed out a breath.

  “How the hell am I supposed to pick from all these? She barely wears jewelry, and what she does wear is tasteful and understated.” Mina’s accessories accented her beauty. They didn’t upstage it.

  Wilder chuckled. He had yet to give the contents more than a casual glance. “Then look for something simple. She’s marrying you, not the ring.”

  Behind the counter, the salesperson gave a dainty snort.

  Ever eyed the woman, noting the high-quality cut of her power suit. He estimated her age to be somewhere in the early seventies. “You disagree?”

  She favored him with a small, elegant smile. “The ring is a symbol of your relationship, but it’s also a test. How well do you really know her? This ring will tell her what she means to you.”

  “She’s petite, so I don’t want anything too big. I’d like some rubies because she looks great in red.” He thought for a minute, considering the changes she’d made in the design of the house. “It needs to be classic. Tasteful. Platinum. Symmetrical.”

  Wilder’s lip curled, a precursor to a rare smile. “Symmetrical?”

  “She likes balance. I wanted five bathrooms, but she insisted on four or six. Same thing with the burners on the stove. She moved the fireplace so that it was equidistant from either wall in the family room. She thinks like an OCD engineer.” He wished she would talk about her job search. He knew she was looking, but she refused to apprise him of her progress. He wasn’t stupid; there weren’t many computer engineering jobs in Vermont.

  His job at Oasis could be done from anywhere in the country, especially if they wanted to grow the business. If she would just talk to him, they could work out a different solution to their living situation. Perhaps the Vermont house would become their vacation and retirement residence.

  But every time he brought up the topic, she became angry and withdrawn. The punishment had been an ill-advised, desperate attempt to break through to her. He just wanted her to trust him enough to let him in, to confide in him, to know that he would always be there for her, no matter where life took them. He hadn’t accomplished that at all.

  Just then, he spied the perfect ring. It had a good-sized rock in a nest of diamond and ruby chips. He knew immediately that she would love it. He made arrangements to have it inscribed and sized. It would be delivered to his apartment when it was ready.

  On the way out, his cell rang. He grinned as he recognized Mina’s ringtone, and he winked at Wilder. “Looks like the future Mrs. Everett Burke can’t wait until tonight to talk to me.”

  She hadn’t picked up the phone when he’d called the night before or earlier that day, so he had been a little worried.

  Wild shook his head, but he smiled too, so Ever knew his brother was happy for him.

  “Hey, gorgeous, what’s up?”

  She was silent for a second, almost as if she was surprised he’d answered. Then her words came out in a rush. “This isn’t going to work out. I can’t
see you anymore.”

  The meaning didn’t penetrate. A confused buzzing started in his ears. “What?”

  “It’s over. I’m sorry.”

  She was crying. He heard the hiccup of her sob, though she tried to mask it. “Honey, tell me what’s wrong.”

  “It’s all wrong. We don’t belong together.”

  “Mina—” He tried to say more, but she’d ended the call. Immediately he redialed, but she didn’t pick up.

  Next to him, Wilder waited, his eyebrows pinched together in concern. “What’s wrong?”

  Ever shook his head. The buzzing in his ears grew louder, and the moment took on a surreal quality. “She broke up with me.”

  The shock on Wilder’s face mirrored what Ever felt inside. “We’ll get the next flight home.”

  Numbly, Ever nodded. He let Wilder handle the arrangements. They made it to town just before midnight and headed straight to Elmhurst. It was the location of their first date, and Isla had called Wilder to inform him that Mina was there with a man.

  Rock music blared from speakers set up near the makeshift stage. A local band played their rendition of something he couldn’t identify. It didn’t matter anyway. Tables had been cleared away for dancing, and the floor was packed with bodies.

  He zeroed in on them right away. His shock morphed to anger, tingeing the world in red. He plowed through the crowd, knocking people aside. Behind him, he dimly heard Wilder apologizing for him.

  He slapped a hand on her date’s shoulder, whirled the smaller man around, and punched him in the face. The man stumbled backward, falling against several people nearby. A huge circle opened up around them. Mina regarded him with wide eyes. Fear blazed from every line of her body.

  He wrapped his hand around her wrist and pulled her closer. “You’re coming home with me, and you’re going to explain what the fuck is going on.”

  She tried to break his hold. Her eyes were even wider now, and her chest heaved with the force of her exertion. He’d never seen her look so terrified. Part of him wanted her to be afraid. She’d messed up badly, and she needed to know there were severe consequences for playing games like these.