North Seattle Community College. The Interpersonal Gap. Retrieved on January 27, 2018, from http://faculty.northseattle.edu/wholt/bus236/lessons/s02files/ip_gap_2.pdf.
Mind Mapping
Schnarch, D. (2018). Brain Talk: How Mind Mapping Science Can Change Your Life & Everyone in It. New York, NY: Sterling Publishers.
Religious Upbringing
Sellers, T. S. (2017). Sex, God, and the Conservative Church: Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy. New York, NY: Routledge.
Infidelity
Glass, S. (2004). Not “Just Friends”: Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity after Infidelity. New York, NY: Free Press.
Nelson, T. (2012). The New Monogamy: Redefining your Relationship after Infidelity. Oakland, CA: Hew Harbiner.
Perel, E. (2017). The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity. New York, NY: HarperCollins.
Spring, J. A. (2012). After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful (2nd ed.). New York, NY: HarperCollins.
Snyder, Douglas K., Baucom, D.H., & Gordon, K.C. (2007). Getting Past the Affair: A Program to Help You Cope, Heal, and Move On—Together or Apart. NY: Guilford Press.
Sexual Desire
Diamond, Lisa. (2008). Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women’s Love and Desire. MA: Harvard Univ. Press.
Foley, Sallie. (2005). Love and Sex for Grown-ups: A No-Nonsense Guide to a Life of Passion. NY: Sterling Press.
Kaufman, S. B. (2017, July 19). “The Science of Passionate Sex: How to Have Hot Sex, According to Science.” [Blog post] Retrieved from https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/beautiful-minds/the-science-of-passionate-sex/
Kort, J. & Morgan, A. (2014). Is My Husband Gay, Straight, or Bi?: A Guide for Women Concerned about Their Men. Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield.
Love, P. & Robinson, J. (1995). Hot Monogamy: Essential Steps to More Passionate Intimate Lovemaking. New York, NY: Plume.
Nagoski, E. (2015). Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life. New York, NY: Simon & Schuster.
McCarthy, B & McCarthy, E. (2009). Discovering Your Couple Sexual Style: Sharing Desire, Pleasure, and Satisfaction. New York, NY: Routledge.
Metz, M. E., & McCarthy, B. W. (2011). Enduring Desire: Your Guide to Lifelong Intimacy. New York, NY: Routledge.
Mitchell, S. A. (2002). Can Love Last?: The Fate of Romance Over Time. New York, NY: Norton.
Resnick, S. (2012). The Heart of Desire: Keys to the Pleasures of Love. NJ: Wiley & Sons.
Schnarch, D. (2011). Intimacy and Desire: Awaken the Passion in Your Relationship. New York, NY: Beaufort Books.
Schnarch, D. (2009). Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships. New York, NY: W.W. Norton & Company.
Tripp, C.A. (1987). The Homosexual Matrix (2nd ed.). New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.
Sexual Dysfunction
Birch, RW. (1997). Male Sexual Endurance: A Man’s Book about Ejaculatory Control. Pec Pub.
Goldstein, A, Pukall, C & Goldstein, I. (2011). When Sex Hurts: A Woman’s Guide to Banishing Sexual Pain. MA: Da Capo Press.
Levine, Laurence. (2008). Understanding Peyronie’s Disease: A Treatment Guide for Curvature of the Penis. Omaha, NE: Addicus books.
McCarthy, B., & Metz, E. (2004). Coping with Erectile Dysfunction: How to Regain Confidence and Enjoy Great Sex. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger.
McCarthy, B., & Metz, E. (2004). Coping with Premature Ejaculation: How to Overcome PE, Please Your Partner and Have Great Sex. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger.
Schnarch, David. (2002). Resurrecting Sex: Resolving Sexual Problems in Your Relationship. New York, NY: HarperCollins.
Aging
Barbach, L. (2000). The Pause: Positive Approaches to Menopause. New York: Plume/Penguin.
Block, JD & Bakos, SC. (1999). Sex Over 50. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall.
Price, Joan. (2011). Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex. USA: Seal Press.
Ward, R., Rivers, I., & Sutherland, M. (Eds.). (2012). Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Aging. Philadelphia, PA: Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
Trauma
Davis, L. (1991). Allies in Healing: When the Person You Love Was Sexually Abused as a Child. New York, NY: HarperCollins.
Lew, Mike. (1988). Victims No Longer: Men Recovering from Incest and Other Sexual Child Abuse. New York, NY: Nevraumount.
Haines, S. (2007). Healing Sex: A Mind-Body Approach to Healing Sexual Trauma. San Francisco, CA: Cleis Press.
Haines, Staci. (1999). The Survivor’s Guide to Sex: How to Have an Empowered Sex Life after Child Sexual Abuse. San Francisco, CA: Cleis Press.
Levine, Peter. (1997). Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma. Berkeley, CA: North Atlantic Books.
Maltz, Wendy & Holman, Beverly. (1987). Incest and Sexuality: A Guide to Understanding and Healing. Lexington, MA: Lexington Books.
Maltz, W. (2012). The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse (3rd ed.). New York, NY: HarperCollins.
NiCarthy, Ginny. (1997). Getting Free: You Can End Abuse and Take Back Your Life. Seattle, WA: Seal Press.
Van der Kolk, B. (2015). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. New York, NY: Penguin Books.
Zolbrod, Aline. (1998). Sex Smart: How Your Childhood Shaped Your Sexual Life and What to Do about It. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Pubs.
Illness and Disability
Albaugh, Jeffrey. (2012). Reclaiming Sex and Intimacy after Prostate Cancer: A Guide for Men and Their Partners. NJ: Jannetti Publications Inc.
Alterowitz, R. (2004). Intimacy with Impotence: The Couple’s Guide to Better Sex after Prostate Disease. Boston, MA: DeCapo Press.
Katz, A. (2009). Sex When You’re Sick: Reclaiming Sexual Health after Illness or Injury. West Port, CT: Praeger.
Kaufman, Miriam, Silverberg, Cory, & Odette, Fran. (2003). The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability: For All of Us Who Live with Disabilities, Chronic Pain and Illness. San Francisco: Cleis Press.
Laken, Virginia & Laken, Keith. (2002). Making Love Again: Hope for Couples Facing Loss of Sexual Intimacy. Sandwich, MA.: Ant Hill Press.
Grief and Loss
Nathan, Edy. (expected 2018). It’s Grief; the Dance of Self-Discovery Through Trauma and Loss. NY: As I Am Press.
Body Image
Alvear, M. (2013). Not Tonight, Dear, I Feel Fat: How to Stop Worrying about Your Body and Have Great Sex: The Sex Advice Book for Women with Body Image Issues. Naperville, IL: Sourcebooks.
Cash, Thomas. (1997). The Body Image Workbook: An 8-Step Program for Learning to Like Your Looks. CA: New Harbinger.
Pornography
Maltz, W., & Maltz, L. (2009). The Porn Trap: The Essential Guide to Overcoming Problems Caused By Pornography. New York, NY: Harper.
Eroticism
Bader, Michael. (2003). Arousal: The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies. New York, NY: St. Martin’s Press.
Barbach, L. (Ed). (1995). Erotic Interludes: Tales Told by Women. New York: Plume/Penguin.
Barbach, L. (Ed). (1988). Pleasures: Women Write Erotica. New York: HarperCollins.
Bering, J. (2013). Perv: The Sexual Deviant in All of Us. New York, NY: Scientific American / Farrar, Straus and Giroux.
Friday, N. (1998). My Secret Garden: Women’s Sexual Fantasies. New York: Pocket Books.
Kahr, B. (2008). Who’s Been Sleeping in Your Head: The Secret World of Sexual Fantasies. New York, NY: Basic Books.
Morin, J. (1995). The Erotic Mind: Unlocking the Inner Sources of Sexual Passion and Fulfillment. New York, NY: HarperCollins.
Perel, E. (2007). Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence. New York, NY: HarperCollins.
Wiseman, J. (1998). SM 101: A Realistic Introduction. San Francisco: Greenery Press.
Mindset and Motivation
Hendricks, G. (2010). The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level. New York, NY: HarperCollins.
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Olson, J. (2013). The Slight Edge: Turning Simple Disciplines into Massive Success and Happiness. Austin, TX: Greenleaf Book Press Group.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jessa Zimmerman is a licensed couples’ counselor and nationally certified sex therapist. She works in private practice in Seattle, WA. Over the course of her therapy career, she has focused almost exclusively on helping couples with their emotional and sexual intimacy.
In her years of clinical experience, Zimmerman has treated hundreds of couples who have struggled to feel sexual desire and fulfillment. Her clients describe having a good relationship in other ways, but their sex life has become difficult to the point that they start to avoid sex. These are people who love each other but are struggling to have a sex life they both enjoy.
She specializes in helping these couples who find that sex has become stressful, negative, disappointing, or pressured. She educates, coaches, and supports people as they go through her 9-phase experiential process that allows them real world practice in changing their relationship and their sex life.
Zimmerman received her Master’s in Psychology from LIOS college of Saybrook University and Sex Therapist certification from the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT). She has done extensive training in couples’ therapy, with a focus on Crucible® Therapy with Dr. David Schnarch.
She is the host of the Better Sex Podcast and has appeared on numerous other podcasts as an expert guest. She hosts the Sex, Intimacy & Relationships group on Facebook and broadcasts live on a regular basis.
She lives in Seattle with her partner and youngest child of three.
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