Maybe he never left, and in my sleep-deprived frenzy I locked him out?
No, stupid, he would blink inside.
I shook my head, my mind working frantically to keep the bad thoughts from pouring in. Maybe he was out getting breakfast. I ran to the kitchen counter, barely getting up to speed before I spanned the five steps and was there. The space felt huge without him looming over me. I quickly scanned the counter, but even in the dark, it was evident that there was no note saying he had gone to find breakfast. He was old school like that. He’d rather leave a note in his beautiful script than send a text.
My heart dropped. Where the hell was he?
Thought it didn’t matter? My inner self laughed like a maniac.
Shut up, heart, we need him. That's all.
No, you like him.
No.
Yes.
I groaned and straightened myself up. It didn’t matter where Coal was. He was a grown ass gargoyle and could handle himself. Besides, I was probably just worried that Chronos would show up here, and I was way too weak to do anything about that. If they killed him, then so be it. Either way, with or without his help, I was going to kill my father. For me and for Onyx. Still, I couldn’t help the sinking feeling in my stomach.
And for Coal.
I gave in. “And for Coal.”
I flicked the lights on and looked around. The apartment was huge, too huge. I flipped the light switch to turn them back off. I didn’t need to see anything, and I didn’t need lights anyway. I had adapted to seeing in the dark since I’d lived in it so long.
That was better.
But now it was just too quiet. I opened the balcony door, welcoming the rush of cool air and chirping crickets, but I refused to look out there. It was where Coal and I spent most of our time with him sharing stories. Instead, I worked to fluff the pillows on the couch, then cleared the beer bottles from the coffee table. I rearranged the remotes and smudged the water stains from the wood.
All the stuff that Coal usually had done when I got up.
He had more of an effect on me than I thought. I grimaced.
Nope, I wouldn’t go there.
The coffee maker sat uselessly on the counter, mocking me. It was an addition Coal decided we needed to have after a trip to the department store. I was used to the old-fashioned ones that allowed twelve cups in one go. I searched all of its holes and surfaces, trying to figure out how to use it. Taking a chance, I poured in some water and pressed go. Nothing but hot water filled my cup a minute later. My thoughts had moved on from coffee and were torturing me with a gazillion ways they could kill Coal. I frowned, forcing myself to get my thoughts together enough to make a decision.
Right, coffee, I needed coffee.
I opened every cupboard until I found a box of white cups with little foil caps. I gave one pod a fair shake and could hear little bits rustling around in there. I popped it in then pressed start again. The bitterness filled the kitchen—finally, something of my new normal. Instead of trying to cook, I settled for a piece of pizza straight out of the fridge.
I sighed sadly and pulled myself up on the counter. I was stronger than when I went to sleep but only as strong as a human. My muscles still felt like jello. My shadows woke, reminding me they were hungry. I couldn’t wait much longer before I would have no choice but to hunt.
With my coffee smelling of spice and cooling to a drinkable temperature, I scrolled through my phone, trying to keep my mind busy with research about Hades. The stories may be all discombobulated and mixed up, but every now and again, you’d come across a human who either knew too much or was extraordinarily intuitive and came up with some good ideas. I made my search as painfully obvious as I could, “How to kill Hades,” but it didn’t yield much that I hadn’t heard before.
He was untouchable.
If he was so untouchable, then why have a council in the first place? What kept him from overthrowing them, taking out Lucifer, and moving topside? There had to be some way to take him down. Something that only he knew.
Without his spawn to take him out, there weren’t many options, if any. Creatures of other realms were powerful but not that powerful. Perhaps I could kill him on my own. Unlike Coal, he still had one thing to lose. He did have one fear that he would kill his child to keep from surfacing. He was terrified of losing his place in the universe, losing his throne. Lucifer and the creation of Christianity made that painstakingly obvious, hence the reason he allegedly killed his own daughter, so Lucifer couldn’t get his hands on her and take Daddy out.
I could feed on that fear, but would it be enough? And how the hell would I go about getting to him without it being obvious? The only way would be a complete and utter surprise. By now, they knew I was still alive. They had to. As soon as I stepped foot in the Underside, they would know I was there, and I wouldn’t even get close to him.
It seemed too easy anyway, especially after what Coal had told me.
Finally, I sipped my coffee, setting my phone down on the counter. I needed to find some way to get myself to the Underside without being detected. Without any connections, that was going to prove to be somewhat tricky. No one would take me seriously when I told them who I was, and I would bet there weren’t many who would be interested in assisting my suicide––if I could even find anyone who had any credibility.
The wards. I could check the wards and see if there were any symbols that I could search for or calling cards from the person who created them.
Coffee in hand, I slid from the counter. I had no clue where Coal had put them, but he told me to stay inside, and I would be fine. So, I took to the perimeter of the apartment. I found one tucked under the blind in the living room and another in my bedroom. The wards in the bathrooms were resting in the air conditioning vents, and the one in the kitchen was wrapped around the doorknob. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t noticed it.
Maybe he had only just put them up early this morning after our little rendezvous when he promised me his allegiance.
I chose to check out the one on the door since there was already another close by in the living room window. It was a tiny little leather pouch, barely big enough for a credit card. The black leather was faded and worn and smelled of cinnamon and cloves. I had no clue what that meant; I wasn’t involved in any sort of magic. I really had no business even touching the thing. For all I knew, there was a little goblin in the bag waiting to be let out that would somehow know how to finish me off.
A mini Coal. I laughed.
I swallowed hard. It had been nearly two hours since I had gotten up, and he still hadn’t come back. Dare I admit a little worry crept in that I would indeed be taking Daddy on by myself.
It's fine. I can handle this.
Taking in a reassuring breath, I stuck my fingers in the small opening of the bag and worked the stiff ties loose.
“Here goes nothing,” I muttered and tipped the bag over. A gold coin of unknown origin, a large canine with a leather tie attached (looked eerily similar to one of Coal’s when he was in his true form), and a lock of my hair fell out. I ran my hand protectively through my curls. How the hell did he get that? Were actual goblins loose in the apartment and cutting my hair in my sleep?
I shoved the thoughts away and turned the bag inside out. There was nothing. No marks, no carvings in the leather, no tags, and no ink. Nothing that would signify who made it. Great. I was back to square one. Not like that would have been a viable lead anyway, but it was the only lead I had to find someone who could help me get to the Underside undetected. And the fact that I even thought of it made me feel smart like I might have a handle on things. Who was I fooling?
As I said, I lived a solitary life. I wasn’t exactly sitting around making plans to kill my father. I read books, went to the club and bars, slept around, and hunted. Plotting, no.
I downed my coffee, then tucked the ward’s contents back in the ancient pouch and looped it around the doorknob. The coffee pot was calling my name, and with not
hing better to do, I shoved in another pod and pressed go. I stood in front of it, bathing in the steam as I counted the little drops that fell into my cup until they turned into a steady stream and filled my mug. The aroma was relaxing.
Deciding it was still too quiet without the boulder crashing around the apartment, I pulled up some trashy tunes on my phone and leaned my forehead against the cupboard as they played.
Had I changed so much in the past week that I didn’t know what to do without him here? I didn’t even hardly like the guy, but I had grown so used to having him around. Maybe it was the fact that I had yearned for someone in my life, someone to love me and share my life with me. He happened to be the first person that came along, and no matter how jacked up our time together had been, it was still time with another. I had spent three thousand years living on my own, and in one week, reduced to being just as clingy as he was. This was nonsense.
I chalked it up to the fact that my life had taken such a drastic turn that it was leaving me needy. Or the fact that we knew everything there was to know about each other without actually knowing one another. We were both vulnerable to the other. There was closeness established there that was hard to deny and had me wishing he was okay. It also could have been the fact that he literally touched every one of my cells. It couldn’t get more intimate than that.
I couldn’t turn the lights on because it made my tiny apartment feel too big. I couldn’t sit on the couch because there would be no one there to crowd my space or change the TV channel. I couldn’t go back to my bedroom without thoughts of us running through my mind. Hell, my body was ravaged with the effect of him. I was starving because he wasn’t here to make sure I had a proper breakfast. My shadows still hadn’t rebounded from him feeding, and aside from the caffeine buzz, I was still relatively weak. My chest was aching from the loss of his touch, and my body was yearning for his return.
I was just plain pathetic. I was a damn supernatural creature, a Shadow, the only one of my kind. Three thousand years old and here I was, pining for a gargoyle who I’d only known for a week, who tried and almost succeeded in killing me, and up until just yesterday, I despised, and still should.
A gentle but cold touch pulled me from my thoughts. I jumped with a start and threw my fists up, ready to fight.
“Easy, it's just me,” he softly said. His voice soothed my nerves, and my shadows jumped with glee. Another hand landed on my shoulder. I tried to turn, but he held me firmly. Asshole. He had no right to touch me. Anger blossomed in my chest.
“Are you okay?” I asked anyway, still thankful he had finally returned.
“I will be,” he said softly. I could hear the strain in his voice. That mixed with the cold touch and slight lisp, I could guess that he was in his true form. What did they do to him? He’d been gone for over sixteen hours.
“Let go of me,” I insisted, not quite in love with the idea of him locking me in while I was still so weak. I had no clue where he’d been, what happened to him, or if he had changed his mind while he was there and decided to kill me after all.
His fingers trailed over the shapes of my tattoo. I knew he was tracing the Goddess’s crown as many had done it before. Only no other’s touch had felt so loving, so gentle. A shiver raced down my spine. He was distracting me, keeping me from seeing him, even though there was no hiding anything from me in this tiny space. If he didn’t kill me, I would see the wounds they inflicted sooner or later. Perhaps he didn’t want me seeing his true form? Did he think it would scare me? Or maybe his true form reacted strongly to seeing his mate, and it had absolutely nothing to do with me. I decided to bide my time. Pick my battles. If he were going to hurt me, he could do so at any point, and there was nothing I could do but try to fight him off.
Besides, I didn’t hate him touching me. A grimace spoiled my features at the thought.
Tense minutes ticked by, and his touch started to warm. His breathing became more even, and the cage he had me in started to break down.
“Onyx certainly didn’t have this on her.” His voice was husky as he traced the filigree up over my shoulder. My boobs instantly felt heavy, aching with need. My shadows wrapped around our legs, egging him on. I yanked them back, forcing them away. “It's beautiful. I’ve wanted to tell you that for a week now.”
“And why now are you choosing to tell me?” There was a breathy quality to my voice.
“Because I want to show you that I see you. That you are not her.”
“You’re just trying to hide the bad news from me, why you’ve been gone for so long.” I turned halfway and glimpsed the murky gray blood that tore through his white shirt. “Are you afraid, Gargoyle?” I turned his taunts back on him, but there was no sarcastic tone to my words.
“That’s a hard thing to answer. I have struggled with getting to know you as you and not my mate. It hasn’t been easy. When I tasted you, I was angry, upset with the situation, and wished you were Onyx. I even wanted to kill you, tried to, but when I saw the loneliness in you, your past, the things your father has done, I just wanted to help you. I’m glad I didn’t go through with it.” He paused his mouth at my ear, causing a shiver to overcome me. He was stalling. I squirmed, but it only served to grind my back against his raging hard-on.
“But?” I forced the conversation before I did something I’d regret.
“But now, he knows how to kill you, and the thought enraged me. Not only because he would be wiping the face of my mate from the universe permanently, but also because a part of me has attached itself to you. To your firecracker attitude, your vulgar language, your strength and resiliency, the things you’ve survived, even your sex and the noises you make when I pleasure you. I can’t let him take from me again.”
Damn it. He was catching feelings. He was crazy to like me. Why did I like the idea so much?
“Easy now, or I’m going to believe that you like me.” He chuckled, and I took his distraction as a chance to turn around. I gasped. He looked fresh out of a cement mixer. Like he fought a war and won, but his flesh didn’t get the memo. His forehead was split wide open. His version of blood ran from his hairline down over his face. A gnarly gash obscured the end of his brow. His torso was littered with whip lashes and cuts from a knife, so much so, I could barely make out the color of his shirt.
Hell, there was barely any shirt left to see. What wasn’t covered in blood was hanging in shreds. His hair was drenched in sweat, as well as his arms and neck.
“Balls, dude, what happened to you? You look like a blender got the best of you.” He shrugged it off. I refused to be guilt-ridden by the fact that he took a beating because of me. I grabbed the hand towel from the stove front and ran it under the faucet, then stood in front of him and wiped the blood from his face. It was way too much of a sentimental moment, but I just needed to touch him. It would take a while to get used to the gray substance and not red.
“Chronos’s standard therapies. They worked me over, pissed when I didn’t kill you. They didn’t quite believe that I wasn’t powerful enough.” Quite frankly, I wasn’t sure I believed him either. “Apparently, they were dead set on the fact that I could and were hoping you’d be dead by now.” A frown settled in his brow.
“So, they beat you?” He nodded and narrowed his eyes. I returned the towel to the sink to rinse and wring out the excess water. Then I ran it over his neck. I ignored the taunts from my brain, the relentless repetition of you like him, you want him, going on and on as I wiped him down like a lover would.
“I’ll heal,” he said with a shrug.
“I’m sure you will, but why do you go back there if this is what they do?” He carefully peeled the shreds of his shirt from his abs, and I helped him lift it over his chest. I nearly groaned. What a twisted mind I had. The man just got back from being tortured, and I was turned on by the thought of him fighting.
“If I don’t, Chronos will come topside.” His jaw clenched, the vein in his neck popping now that I had removed the glistening blood.
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“Then let him, I’m not afraid of him.”
“You wouldn’t stand a chance against him.” He slipped an arm from his shirt, and I couldn’t help but stop and admire the way his muscles jumped with his movements. The way sweat glistened on his battle-worn skin, and the way he smelled of man and faded cologne.
“Jeez, I’m glad you have so much confidence in me,” I muttered.
He pressed his lips together. “I do not doubt you, Shay.”
The organ in my chest stuttered a little bit at the sound of my chosen name from his lips. Before, he had always referred to me as Shadow, reminding me just what I was and where I stood in his eyes, even though I had told him repeatedly that I went by Shay.
Dang, I needed to step back. “I know you’re strong, but Chronos is a god with limitless power. He works both good and evil. I’m pretty sure he can kill you, but he is just biding his time, claiming he can’t.” His eyes flashed with wicked darkness that had my stomach flipping as I imagined the things he was capable of. “Hell, I’m sure he plans on taking out your father as well, but that’s all speculation.”
“Then, why do they want you to do it?” I asked but already knew the answer. “Never mind, because of who I am. It wouldn’t be fun if they just wiped me out. They want to torture you while they’re at it.”
“Exactly. But I think there is something else as well. I don’t think torturing me is worth exactly that much. Hades may have loved Onyx in his demented way, but she certainly didn’t return the feelings. There’s something else there.” His brows crawled together, wrinkling his handsome face into a sad frown.
“So, what’s the bad news?”
“We have a week to figure out just how we are going to kill your father.” I backed away from him and tossed the towel in the sink. I couldn’t think right with him so close.
“I’m sorry, I thought you said a week.” I barked a harsh laugh.
“That's what I said precisely.” My stomach broke loose, and if I hadn’t crossed my legs, it would’ve fallen out of my vagina. My skin took on a dew-like quality, and my heart started beating rapidly. No way were we going to be ready in seven days to take on Hades. Unless Coal had some plan up his sleeve, we were royally screwed.
Pawns Daughters of The Underworld Book 1 Page 10
