Unbearable Desire (Paranormal Bear Shifter Romance) (Bear Valley Clan Book 1)

by Nox, Serena

  "He was wrong to leave you," I soothed, patting her hand. "We all know it was wrong."

  "No!" she shouted. "He needed to go." Then her face crumpled again. "But he could at least come visit me some time."

  I held her head as she cried. Her words made no sense to me, and yet I could feel that they came from the last lucid part of her. The haunted look in her eyes unnerved me. There was none of her usual faraway stare. No, right now she was looking right at me, her eyes as clear and sharp and as sorrowful as I have ever seen.

  When my Pa disappeared, it was truly that. He was there and then he was gone. That morning my Gran slipped out of bed to prepare their breakfast, same as every morning for their nearly thirty-five years of marriage. My grandfather was still in bed, curled up snoring under the covers.

  My Gran stepped outside to gather wood for the fire. As she told it, she heard a noise in the woods and looked off to see what it was. Whatever was moving through the woods was large and heavy. She immediately ran back into the safety of the cabin, afraid of being cornered by a hungry bear.

  When she entered the cabin again, she noticed a cold wind blowing through the room. Glancing in the bedroom, she saw an open window.

  And my grandfather was gone.

  When at last her sobs quieted, I watched in despair as the cloud came back over her eyes. The animated spark was gone and with it her ability to communicate. Her head lolled back and then rolled to the side and she was asleep in an instant.

  I pushed her blankets underneath her chin to cushion her shoulder and stood up. Just like it had in the woods with the strange bear, that moment of interaction only intensified my loneliness. I thought about heading down the mountain to the market, but that would mean leaving Gran too long.

  As I cast about for what to do, I spied a red flash out the kitchen window. The robin zoomed through the field and alighted in her now completed nest. It was almost obscured by the budding leaves now, but I could see her fussy, flickering tail and realized that she had laid her eggs already.

  Time was marching along, but inside this cabin we were frozen in place.

  Once more the need to move took over. I pulled on a sweater, the spring air was too warm for my snow jacket, and stepped out on to the porch.

  This time I moved directly to the treeline, letting the exertions clear my head of my grandmother's cryptic words. My heart thumped in my ears and my blood pumped through my veins as I pushed myself to walk faster and climb higher. I hadn't hiked since my encounter with the bear and as I moved through the trees, I realized how much I missed it. Being in the forest was cleansing. It made me feel alive, especially after feeling so stifled indoors.

  I heard the trickling sound of water and moved towards it. The snowmelt was slowing now, so the stream that plunged down the mountain in a series of waterfalls was not the raging torrent it was earlier in the season. I wondered if the Pechin River had flooded its banks this year.

  As I neared the water, I spied a flash of color through the trees and froze. That was not a color seen in nature. There was a person on the shore.

  Kai

  Kai stood up when he heard her. His bear slammed inside of him, desperate to shift and go tearing off towards his mate, but Kai knew he needed to be careful. Even showing her his human form this way was a taboo.

  "Hello!" he called and for once his human voice wasn't rusty with disuse. Mathe had been staying in the den for a whole moon, learning the ways of the clan and observing their bonds as a unit. Though Kai chafed at the deliberate slowness of the proceedings, he had to admit that it was doing his small clan good to have an omega walk among them again.

  In deference to the ambassador's preference, Kai had been spending more and more time as a human. He found that he liked the elegance of moving through the woods on two limbs, though he missed the power that came with being a bear. He felt puny and weak when human, but also strangely happy. Things that frightened and confused his bear made more sense as a human. The world itself made more sense as a human. He almost understood why Gray had forsaken his clan.

  But that was treason.

  The human woman stood on the far bank, eying him hesitantly. She seemed more afraid of him as a human than as a bear, which seemed strange to Kai. As a bear he could kill her with one stroke of his paw, but as a human he posed much less of a threat.

  She didn't seem to understand that.

  "Hello?" he called again. "Are you frightened?"

  As soon as he said the words, he cringed. Humans did not like to answer direct questions about their feelings. They were not telepathic. He had to remember that.

  Even so, he could feel her emotions rolling off of her in waves. She was shocked at seeing him there. She was confused as to what he was doing in the forest in what she considered to be her territory. She was frightened that he would hurt her for some reason. But she was also very curious about him. And more than anything she wanted someone to talk to.

  Kai stretched his face into a wide smile, a motion that always struck him as odd. Baring ones teeth as a bear was a sign of aggression, but humans used smiling as a sign of happiness. And affection.

  She smiled back at him, tentatively, but genuinely and Kai sighed in relief. "Hello there, are you a hiker?"

  Kai had heard that word before. It was what humans called other humans who liked walking in the woods. "Yes I am," he answered. "I am a hiker."

  She giggled a little over the noise of the water. "Where did you find those clothes?" she called.

  Kai looked down at the old clothes he had pulled from Gray's belongings. He had been sleeping with them pillowed under his head for a moon now, as he considered his next move. His nights had been filled with restless dreams of his mate and his days spent with the agonizing whiff of her scent in his nostrils. When he finally made his decision to come up the peak in human form, these were the only clothes he had available to cover his nakedness.

  "They are old, I know," he nodded, looking at the threadbare flannel and the patched jeans.

  "They look like something my grandfather would wear," she mused. "Vintage."

  Kai wasn’t sure what that meant, but he heard humor in her thoughts, so he smiled. "Yes, they are vintage, definitely,"

  He watched her as she moved closer and it was all he could do not to flair his nostrils to inhale every bit of her. The way she moved, the way she spoke, even the way her skin glowed pink with exertion, everything about her was captivating.

  Even if he wasn't sure she was destined to be his mate, his human and his bear both would have found her desirable. Her light hair was the deep gold of honey and her eyes were like the clear autumn sky. She was softly rounded in a way that made his groin ache. He longed to bury his face into the place where her swooping neck met her soft shoulder and inhale deeply. He wanted to press his hands into the hollow of her waist and brush them along the curve of her hips, cupping her buttocks in his hands as she looked up at him with those deep blue eyes. He wanted his kiss to be what brought that bloom to her cheek.

  He wanted her. That was what it came down to. He wanted to protect her and provide for her and claim her for his own. That alpha feeling that kept him aware of the needs of his clan was tenfold when it came to her.

  "Do you usually wear vintage clothes to go hiking in?" the woman asked.

  Kai felt her intended humor and forced his lips into a smile. "What should I wear then?"

  "I don't know," she mused, stepping closer to the bank. Kai eyed the ground warily. If the banks gave way, she would tumble headlong into the freezing torrent, and he would not have the strength to save her in his human form. "I haven't seen a hiker in a while. I'm not up on the latest trends. Maybe vintage hiking duds are the in thing now?"

  There was an ominous splash as the sodden soil shifted under her foot. Kai moved his human hands helplessly. "Please be careful!" he called.

  "Oops!" she cried as the slippery mud shifted under her shoes. She went down on her rear end heavily and for a heart-stoppin
g moment, Kai thought she was going to keep sliding. But she quickly twisted herself around and grabbed hold of a protruding tree root, stopping her fall.

  "Are you hurt?" he cried.

  "Um!" she shouted, flat on her belly. "No, but I'm afraid to let go!"

  "Don't! I will help you."

  "You're on the other side!"

  Kai considered. The sides were too steep to jump safely. She was turned away from him, concentrating on holding the root.

  "Please avert your eyes!"

  "What?!"

  Kai threw off the old clothes in a heap on the ground. Then he freed his bear.

  The upward surge from inside of him was always exhilarating. He felt his muscles stretch and elongate, bulking over one another as the power surged through him. His fingernails lengthened into claws and he fell forward onto heavy footpads.

  Grabbing his clothes in his jaws, he splashed across the stream in two bounds. As he leapt upward onto the far bank, he pushed his bear back down again, forcing the animal to constrict itself to fit back into the human skin.

  "Did you just...jump all the way..?" The woman was craning her neck at him.

  "Grab my hand," he instructed.

  She looked at him, her expression one of complete bewilderment, but extended her free hand to him. He hauled her easily up the bank and she collapsed forward onto her hands and knees.

  "Um, thanks," she murmured.

  "Are you hurt?"

  "Just my pride," she sighed, and then turned away from him. "Hey, uh, could you put your clothes back on?'

  Kai looked down at his nakedness and cursed inwardly. "I apologize," he said, shrugging into the threadbare flannel. "I was only trying to ford the stream quickly. Clothes would have weighed me down.

  "You sure were quick," the woman laughed. "I've never seen anyone move so fast in my life.

  Kai shrugged, pulling the jeans up over his narrow hips and buttoning the fly.

  As soon as his member was hidden, the woman looked him full in the face again. She stood up, wiping the mud from her hands and extending one of them. "I'm Noelle," she told him. "Thanks for saving me."

  Kai looked at her hand and imitated her movement. Her small hand darted out and clasped his.

  Her touch electrified him. His bear went crazy, banging around inside his skin and roaring to be freed. The animal inside of him wanted to take her, right now, right here. It would claim her and impregnate her with his heir right on this streambed.

  Noelle was watching him as he struggled to regain mastery over his bear. "I feel like I should be asking if you're okay," she said warily

  Kai inhaled deeply. It was no use, her scent was everywhere. "I am having some difficulty," he admitted.

  "How long have you been out here?" she asked.

  Kai blinked in confusion, then realized she thought he had been camping. "A while," he told her.

  "You're probably not getting enough food, makes you woozy." she said. "My cabin is not far from here. You are welcome to come back with me and grab something to eat. I kind of owe you for rescuing me and all." She looked down at her muddy clothes and sniffed. "I need to change anyway."

  He was about to nod, when he considered something. "You live at the old woman's house."

  She looked at him with furrowed brows. "Yes, I do. How did you know that?"

  "It's the only dwelling in the area."

  "I know, my Gran is sick and she needed someone to care for her."

  Kai felt a twinge in his heart. "That is noble," he said, feeling the tug of a smile pull at his lips.

  Noelle's lips parted slightly in surprise, then she shook her head. "Not noble in the slightest, I'm going stir-crazy."

  Kai didn't understand. He reached out with his thoughts, feeling out her emotions. He felt guilt swirling around her, along with loneliness, resentment and a deep sorrow. He felt his hands move as if to ward off the storm around her and fold her in to his chest, where he could care for her.

  Noelle looked down at his hands and shied away. Quickly he planted them firmly at his sides. It was not time yet. She didn't trust him yet, but she would.

  "Follow me," Noelle sighed, turning back to head into the trees. Kai watched her move nimbly under a tree branch and stride confidently back into the woods.

  He could scent the familiar smell of the cabin from way off. It had been a part of the landscape for so long that Kai now thought of it as yet another tree or rock, something to take note of and then move on. The old woman had lived alone for nearly as long as he could remember, keeping her lonely vigil there in the peaks, away from her own kind. Though she had family visiting her, family, he now realized with a start, that included the woman before him, the majority of her time was spent alone.

  The notion had never sat well with Kai. One needed ones own kind. Solitude was unhealthy. A sense of belonging was one of the first things a cub learned.

  Knowing that the old woman was being cared for by her family eased a worry he didn't know he had. A rush of affection for the exquisite creature in front of him came out of nowhere. He moved towards her and fell in step by her side..

  Though Kai knew a better way, he still followed Noelle, letting her lead him through the forest back to the cabin. It was enough for him just to be near her, hearing the faint sips of breath, listening to the beating of her heart. Being near her gave him a strange sense of completeness he hadn't known he was missing.

  "Where are you camping?" Noelle asked him after a long period of quiet.

  "Down at the base of the mountain," Kai replied. It was forbidden to reveal the location of the den, and yet he was too far-gone to care about taboos anymore.

  "Really? Wow, you climbed all the way up here today?"

  "It was not hard. I know some shortcuts."

  Noelle laughed. "That doesn't surprise me after how fast you crossed the stream. Are you sure you can't fly?"

  Kai heard the humor in her voice and felt his cheeks stretching without even forcing them to. She had made him smile for real, for the very first time.

  "I am quite positive," he answered seriously. "Though, I can run very fast."

  "I believe it," she said. "How fast?"

  "I am the fastest," he declared.

  "Oh!" she laughed. "That sounds like a challenge."

  "Not exactly. I don't challenge those who have no hope of winning."

  "Geez. Tough guy."

  Kai felt her disappointment. "But," he interjected, "I would give you a head start."

  "You don't even know where we're racing to."

  "Your cabin."

  "You know how to get there?" She seemed instantly guarded.

  "Why does that scare you?"

  "It's...creepy."

  "I don't understand."

  Noelle's cheek flamed red. "Look, thanks for saving me and all that shit, but you're going to have to go back to your camp now." She stopped and planted her feet wide apart and crossed her arms. Kai recognized the stance of an alpha asserting her dominance in her pose and his bear raised the hackles of its neck at the challenge.

  But at the same time he admired her fire. She was small, even compared to his human form, and soft, not formed for fighting. Yet she was challenging him and ordering him to leave. He wanted to smile but something told him that would only anger her further.

  "I meant no offense," he said, bowing his head and backing up. He lowered his chin and lifted his eyes to her in a gesture of submission.

  Her breath caught and she gasped, turning pale with fear. And then, before Kai could even react, she turned and fled through the trees.

  Noelle

  The fuck? The fuck did I just see? What the fuck is happening?

  I sprinted through the forest, bursting out into the field. My pumping legs carried me across the spring grass and headlong up the stairs onto the porch.

  It was only there that I finally turned to look behind me.

  The strange man hadn't followed. I don't know if I wanted him to or not. After all
, I was probably going crazy. I was losing my mind up here. That was the only explanation as to why I was so frightened of an oddly dressed hiker.

  An oddly dressed hiker with amber eyes, who had looked at me just like a bear.

  It was the way he had bowed his head and backed up the minute I had ordered him to go away. It was the way he lifted his amber eyes so that they shone at me through a lock of his jet-black hair. The memory of my encounter with the bear came flooding back the minute I had spied the hiker in the first place. That was why I had frozen in fear.

  But just like with the bear, I was curious about this man.

  The first thing I had noticed, aside from his shoulder length black hair and chiseled features, was the strange style of his clothes. The avocado green flannel shirt had wide, unfashionable lapels and it clung too closely to his broad chest. It was made for someone smaller, someone older.

  It looked exactly like a shirt I remembered my grandfather wearing when I was small.

  The next thing I had noticed was his oddly formal way of speaking. He didn't talk like anyone I had met before. I wondered if it was some strange, Pechin Valley accent. But he didn't sound like the owner of the market,or my grandmother for that matter. He sounded like a foreigner who was translating in his head.

  When I slipped, the speed at which he crossed the stream was unnerving. But what was more unnerving was the sight of his unashamed nakedness.

  I paused on the porch and bent my head down, placing my hands on my knees. The blood was still rushing through my body from my impromptu sprint, but that was not why I was suddenly hot all over.

  When the hiker had grabbed my hand, I had to turn my head. It was the only way I wouldn't start drooling on the spot. The man looked like some master sculptor had chiseled him. His bronzed body was all ridges and valleys, broad and powerful as the mountain itself. Even my quick glimpse told me everything I could ever know about desire, from the wiry thatch of hair nestled between his pecs to the rippling muscles of his abdomen right down to that swinging perfection that hung between his legs.