Maximum Rush (Tangled Desires Book 4)

by Murphy,Misti

  “Huge.” She smiles. “A massive relief.”

  Damn. I wish that smile meant she was lying, but I’m pretty certain it’s genuine. “You have no idea. I couldn’t be happier than to never be questioned about feelings and whether we’re together ever again.”

  “Right.”

  Can that smile get any bigger? Could she be happier about laying her feelings out on the situation? I fight the urge to scoop her up and try to convince her that maybe she isn’t so certain she could never love me.

  My hands fisted in my pockets, I grit my teeth. “Only a couple more days. Perhaps we should send you home earlier.”

  Her phone buzzes and she starts looking through the navy clutch she’s carrying, so I don’t see her face when she says, “That would probably be a great idea.”

  Then she strides away from me as she answers the call. I bet she’s ecstatic at the idea of going home early. I bet she’s grinning from ear to ear, so anxious to finish what’s between us.

  “Time to be seated.” Mace calls out to me. “The bride will arrive any minute.”

  “Great.” Because I don’t think I could handle seeing how happy Maxi is at the idea of leaving me, when I want her so desperately to stay.

  ***

  “Any of you know where Maxi got to?” I join the rest of my family after the ceremony while we follow after Tommy and Gem, the photographer in the lead.

  Maxi never came into the church for the vows. The last time I saw her was on the phone as she walked away from me, leaving me wishing I knew how to change her mind. At first I was annoyed that she didn’t come to sit with me. All through the ceremony I kept glancing around, wondering where she’d gotten to. It wasn’t until after that I worked out she hadn’t come in at all.

  “Sorry, we didn’t see her,” Claire says, leaning into Razer’s side, his arm slung around her shoulder and holding her hand.

  “Did you upset her?” Mace glares at me. “You did, didn’t you? Just had to make her perfectly aware that you haven’t realized she’s better than your damn magic tricks.”

  “Shut up, Mace,” I snarl. The last thing I need is him thrusting his buffoon opinion in my face when I already know she’s the best thing to ever happen to me. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. You never do. You’re such a bull-headed bastard.”

  “No, we haven’t seen her.” Chels elbows my brother in the gut. “I’m surprised she would have left, though.”

  Me too. I can’t see her going home because we had a little fight, which she probably didn’t even recognize as a fight since she has no idea how much it pained me to suggest she go home earlier. No, there has to be a good reason for her taking off, surely, and it makes me antsy to find her.

  And to tell her how I feel about her. No matter how she takes it. Honestly, while I was watching Tommy and Gem give voice to their feelings for each other in front of their family and friends, I realized I didn’t have a choice but to lay it out for Maxi. I’ve fallen in love with this unique, one-of-a-kind, crazy-amazing girl, who makes me feel more alive than all the spotlights in the world could ever do.

  “Hey, Rush.” Gem halts ahead of us.

  I jog to catch up with her and Tommy, because when the bride wants something she gets it. Even if I’d rather run in the other direction and go looking for my girl. “What do you need, Gem?”

  “Maxi caught me before the ceremony started. There was an emergency of some kind. Her mother had a fall, I think. She was pretty worked up and crying so I couldn’t really understand her. Plus nerves. I was freaking out.” She smiles at Tommy. “Not about marrying you.”

  “I know, pretty girl.” Tommy grins, and I tap my foot impatiently.

  He’s got his girl, she’s not going anywhere, and I need to know the rest of the damn story. “So she went back to the house?”

  “Cab, I think. She was calling a cab, and crying, and trying to tell me how beautiful I looked all at the same time.” She touches my arm and tightens her mouth in sympathy. “Anyway, I think she’s gone to Carlton to catch a flight. Her mom’s in the hospital, so it must be bad.”

  “I... ” Racing a hand through my hair, I stare back the way we came. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do. My brother just got married, but Maxi must be freaking out. I should be with her. I should be putting everything else off to make sure she’s okay. My family won’t care and the show can wait. We can postpone it, or cancel it. Whatever it takes. “I need to call her. I think I need to be with her.”

  “Finally,” Mace mutters, as I pull out my phone.

  Tommy grips my shoulder and nods before leading the others away. I beg Maxi to pick up while the call rings through as I race back the way we came.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Maxi

  Dropping into my seat, I shoot a quick glance at the man beside me. It’s far more crowded in economy than it was on Rush’s jet, that’s for sure. But at least I made the flight.

  I’m going home.

  That’s if I survive the sharks.

  I push back in the seat and hug myself. It would be just my luck to get eaten by sharks at this point in my life. I’ve fallen for a man I can never have, I’m completely lost when it comes to who I am and what I’m supposed to do with my life, and I have a mother who can’t navigate a flight of stairs. Really, it’s only to be expected that I’ll die from my worst fear.

  What happens to Sarah if I don’t survive this flight? Shit.

  Mrs. Leeton, our sixty-year old neighbor, is looking after her until I get home. She’s the one who called me to tell me what happened. Hearing a commotion, she’d bolted next door to find my mother upside down at the bottom of the stairs. Unconscious.

  I’d been relieved when the phone rang while Rush was busy telling me how happy he was that I was going home. He couldn’t even wait to see the back of me. Damn, that had cut through me like a scalpel-wielding student dissecting a pig’s heart in science class. It’d taken all my strength not to let the hurt register on my face.

  Mrs. Leeton called the ambulance, waited for it. Then she’d taken Sarah back to her house. It wasn’t any different than having her own grandkids around, she told me. Except they barely ever visit anymore, so she was quite happy to have Sarah. And besides, she’d said, “Mona is always such a good egg. She makes a mean cup of tea, and she listens to me natter on for hours. I’d do anything to help, honey. Whatever you need.”

  I rub at my jaw which still hurts from forcing that overdone smile I used to hide from Rush. Not that I need to worry about using those muscles any time soon. I’m pretty sure my new favorite position will be permanent sad face. Or maybe it’s resting bitch if the way the man sitting beside me keeps glancing at me is any indication.

  God, I hope my mother is okay. I’ve already called the hospital half a dozen times. I just kept calling until they told me she’d woken up with a decent concussion, and more bones and tendons and ligaments broken than I knew any person could have in their leg. Along with plenty of bruising and swelling.

  I fiddle with my phone, turning it over and over in my hands. I’ll have to turn it off in a minute, but what if someone needs to get hold of me? What if the doctors are wrong, or they missed something? What if…

  Jumping, I bounce my phone right out of my hands as it chirrups and I have to grapple with it to get a firm enough grip that I can answer it. “Hi.”

  “Maxi?” His deep voice rumbles in my ear.

  “Rush?” My heart does a little dance in my chest, the tango or salsa, over hearing his voice.

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m—I could be better. My mom took a fall. She’s conscious, though, so that’s something.” I fidget with the creases in my dress, anything to keep my hands busy. He’s always been caring, but is it wrong of me to hope that he’s calling for more than an update on my mom?

  “I just wanted to tell you, I needed to let you know…” The line breaks up with static.

  “Can you repeat that? I didn’t qui
te catch it.”

  “Maxi, you can’t…”

  The pilot makes an announcement that we’re about to take off, which drowns him out.

  Are you kidding me? This may be the last time I speak to him, and I can’t hear what he’s saying. Shoving my finger in my ear, I block out as much noise as possible. “What?”

  “Maxi, fuck, I don’t want you…”

  The line goes dead. Radio freaking silent. I yank the phone away from my ear and stare at the blank screen of my dead phone. “Shit.”

  Frantically, I punch the on button, but it doesn’t help. “I know you don’t want me, but I swear you were going to say something else. What was it, huh?” I mentally scream at my phone as I imagine jumping out of my seat. “What were you going to say? You don’t want me to what? Call you? Email you? Friend you on Facebook?” I shake my phone, my eyes stinging as my voice gets higher. “You don’t want me to what?”

  “Excuse me, Miss.” It’s the man beside me tugging gently on my dress that finally gets my attention.

  “What?” I snap at him. Then I realize what I’ve done, and I don’t think I will ever live it down. My face combusts as I stop staring at my phone and take in the other passengers. I don’t think there’s a single person on this flight who isn’t gawking at me like I’m a zoo’s monkey exhibit, and every one of them has heard me ranting at my phone like a crazy lady.

  Gulping, I slide into my seat and hunch down as far as I can go. Well done, Maxi. This might be the lowest point in my life. And Rush called me to make sure I understood that he didn’t want me. That there is never going to be a point where he could feel about me the way I do about him. Dropping my head into my hands, I let myself cry.

  At least I have no reason to contact him except for the article. And Eliza can do that. I’ll compile my notes and... all my stuff is still at his house.

  Shit.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Rush

  It’s quiet, too quiet. Lying on my back on a blanket in Tommy’s backyard, I stare at the stars. They’re always so bright here. That’s one of the things this town has going for it.

  The other is winging her way across the Pacific Ocean. I’m not sure what time she will land, or if I’ll even hear from her. Well, not immediately anyway. Although I desperately want to know she made it home and didn’t get eaten by sharks.

  Eventually though, she’ll call to get her stuff, which she left behind in her hurry.

  It feels all kinds of wrong to be here without her, though. My hand misses hers already, my arms feel empty without her to hold onto. Let’s not even get started on how weird it feels in my chest, like a cavity that echoes with what it felt like before she took a large chunk of it with her. That’s something that will take some time to get used to.

  Claire appears by my feet and then flops down on the blanket beside me. She puts her hand in mine and squeezes. It helps a little. Not much, but a small comfort. “What are you doing?”

  I turn my head to face her. She frowns at me, eyes so similar to mine are filled with empathy. “I’m not sure.”

  “You’re thinking about Maxi.” She props her knees up and stares up at the sky.

  She’s so matter of fact about it when I’m so confused. And I’m the older one. Shouldn’t I know how to handle something like this a little better than her? “I tried to call her, but that didn’t work out too well. She hung up, or we got disconnected or something. I just wanted to make sure she was going to be okay.”

  “You would have gone with her.” She smiles softly.

  “Perhaps.”

  Tommy stomps toward us, still in his suit. Two beers in his hands, he bends to hand me one before stretching out on my other side. “What a day.”

  “Shouldn’t you be with your wife?” I ask. “Isn’t that what you’re supposed to be doing?”

  “I don’t mind.” Gem joins us too, but unlike Tommy she’s changed out of her dress and into denim shorts and a T-shirt. “We’re a little worried about you.”

  “There’s nothing to worry about. Nothing to see here.” And there isn’t, because my feelings are all on the inside, and I’m too confused to make heads or tails of them. Or to work out what comes next. How did this even happen to me?

  “You’re a train wreck.” Mace mutters as he too plops himself down on the edge of the blanket near Tommy and Gem, while Raze stretches out next to Claire.

  “I’m not. I feel kind of empty, though. What’s that all about?”

  “You fell for the weird girl.” Tommy clinks his bottle to mine. “It happens.”

  “Not to me.” Never to me. “She was only here for two months. I couldn’t possibly. And you’re right. She’s weird, and awkward.” And she has a whole other life going on in her head, and she’s special, and crazy, and the only girl who has ever made me feel like this. The only girl who has ever made me want to cancel a show so I could be with her because she needed someone to comfort her. “I can’t believe I almost considered cancelling the show for her.”

  “Really? You can’t believe that the girl we’ve all been telling you is your girl, purely based on the way you look at her, is more important than your damn magic shows?” Mace lays back, his hands folded under his head, as Chels wanders into the yard to join us.

  “How did this happen?” Seriously, somebody tell me because I have no clue.

  “It’s like one of your illusions,” Raze says. “While you were busy believing it was impossible, and being distracted by the things you wanted to see, she was sliding under your radar unnoticed. You were never going to realize it until she waved your heart in your face and made the impossible happen.”

  “You’re saying she out-magicked me?”

  “Pretty much.” Claire squeezes my hand again. “So what are you going to do about it?”

  “Nothing.” I exhale. “I tried. I would have gone with her. But she’d already made herself pretty clear about where we stood. She used the words promise and never ever to make sure I knew she couldn’t feel for me the way I apparently find myself feeling. She was relieved and ecstatic about leaving me. So there isn’t much point, is there?”

  “Maybe, maybe not.” Mace grumbles. “What’s your idea? Are you seriously not even going to consider telling her that you’re in love with her? It’d be just like your stubborn ass to fucking let the only girl who has meant anything to you, and who isn’t related to you, slip through your fingers.”

  “Well, you know what they say, asshole. The show must go on. And I’m due in LA in a couple days.” Getting up, I dust myself off. “This thing, these emotions... ” It’s disturbing how easily they came to be when I’ve never felt them before. “They’ll pass once I’m working again. They won’t outlast an audience screaming my name. That’s the high I need, not her.”

  ***

  The crowd is insane tonight. I swear near to every seat in LA’s Staples Center is packed, and they’re all holding their breath as I pick the final lock that keeps me trapped under water. My mind is so clear in this moment, so focused. I’ve done this particular escape many times, as have most magicians. Houdini made it famous, and to be honest it’s not hard, though it takes a lot of practice. The art is in keeping your shit together and not losing the key while you work through the locks. It’s all about little steps, and Maxi.

  Fuck. There goes the key.

  My lungs are starting to get that slight burn happening as I stretch out to the bottom of the glass enclosure and feel around for the tiny bit of metal. It’s been five weeks since I talked to her last, but not even long days filming, and the crowds that have over the last few weeks swollen beyond anything I’ve seen before, have been able to drag my mind wholly away from the girl who tricked me out of my heart.

  The audience right now, the sudden upsurge in my popularity, the girl who showed up in my dressing room half-dressed before I hit the stage don’t give me that orgasmic high they would have before I met Maxi.

  Not even being stuck upside down in water wh
en every thought should be on each step that gets me out of this cage while the audience rustles with anticipation can keep me from thinking about what she’s doing, who she’s with, and whether she’s smiling.

  Locating the key, I curl up to attack the last ankle cuff, and once that’s done the padlock that keeps me trapped. I burst out of the water, dragging in lungfuls of air that burn more than the lack of oxygen. And all the while my chest aches not from the extremes I achieve to hear the applause that follows my escape, but because she’s not here. Everyone else in the universe could be gathered here tonight, and in a way it feels like they are, but the one person whose face I want to stare into right now is as far away from me as she could possibly be.

  Flipping over the edge of the box, I throw my arms out and bow. I pump the air, wanting the audience louder, wanting them clapping, screaming, and wolf-whistling so loud it drowns out the girl who never goes away.

  And that’s it. The pyrotechnics shoot off around the stage, sparks fall from the scaffolding above my head. One by one the lights over the stage dim, until I’m bathed only in one bright spotlight. And for the first time I wonder if this really is all that I want. Is this the best feeling in the world? Is this all I’m good for?

  The applause carries on until that last spotlight fades away, and I stalk off stage. Then the auditorium lights come on and no one cares. Sure, they talk about the show as they hustle from their seats. They speak about how great it was, and that one trick that blew their mind, and how damn hot the Magic Man is. But this world doesn’t last.

  It doesn’t.

  It’s like that song. The one I played for Maxi months ago. I’m a ghost. The day the crowd doesn’t inspire me, I’m gone. I cinch my hands behind my head, walking the length of the stage, glancing at it as the noise levels on the other side of it ebbs away.

  It used to be all I wanted. It was everything. And now, despite my newfound heights of popularity, it’s not quite enough.