Dizzy

by Jolene Perry

  ***

  All of us are in our dresses, and standing together, I finally get it. Lora’s dress is that slim sheath of antiqued lace that drifts out around her—gorgeous doesn’t even begin to describe it. Me, Mardie, and Karissa are all in the same simple black heels, and our dresses are all very different but go together. Mine’s totally the best, and Lora even had them add some sheer lace to the top so I don’t feel too naked.

  All the sewing is done, and they just marked Karissa’s for her lack of chest.

  “So not fair.” Mardie shakes her head at me. “You and your sister have the same tall, lithe body. I’m stuck forever as ‘cute.’”

  Karissa laughs. She’s not quite as tall as Lora and I, but she’s thin, almost too thin. Almost no boobs, and her red hair isn’t as shockingly red now that it’s pulled up. But it’s still shockingly red.

  “Wow,” Mom says as she sits watching. “You girls all look so beautiful.”

  Lora’s beaming. “I’m getting married. Like really, seriously, getting married.”

  We stand in this awkward group hug of girlie elbows and perfumes and overdone hair.

  “Let’s go get wasted.” Karissa laughs as she jogs in the shoes back to her dressing room.

  “Ziah.” Mom gives me her stern look, and instead of being embarrassed, I walk carefully toward her in my stilt shoes while the girls head the other way.

  I’m definitely going to need some practice time in these heels.

  “I have no idea what these girls have planned, but here’s my credit card. If you need a cab home, just do it, okay?” She slides me her card.

  “Okay. Thanks, Mom.” I have no idea what we’re up to tonight, but I’m not going to be the one who goes home early.

  I’m done with James, there’s no Dylan, and I look like… Well, old enough to have some fun.

  ***

  I’m floating. And laughing. And I’ve been hit on so many times, my ego’s probably almost as big as Dylan’s.

  “The boys will be here any second.” Lora raises her glass before her and her two friends down another shot.

  I’m drinking a margarita, and it’s amazing. I’m not sure how many I’ve had, but we’ve been here a long time. My lips are totally numb, so I’m thinking a way lot.

  I knew Lora’s friends were fun, but I had no idea they were so hysterical. I’m laughing harder than I remember laughing in forever.

  Derrick runs up behind Lora and grabs her around the waist. She screams but turns and falls into his arms.

  “Wow. You got a head start.” He chuckles as she pulls away.

  “You can’t keep up with me when we start at the same time.” She kisses his cheek. “I figure we’re even.”

  Derrick laughs and some blond guy that must be a friend of his from out of town slaps him on the back, and in moments, Blondie and Karissa are dancing on the small corner of the bar that’s a sort-of dance floor.

  And there’s Dylan. Who is staring. And I’m not afraid of him at all anymore. At all. Way at all. This is brilliant. He walks around the table, I’m assuming to say hi to me because we’ve been talking a bit since his whole big admission on why he’s such a chicken shit about relationships.

  I giggle a little. Chicken shit. And when I stand up to greet him, the room tilts at such a crazy angle that I end up in his arms. My face is plastered against his hard, delicious smelling chest, and he’s holding me up.

  “Hi.” He has this funny little smug smile.

  I frown as I stand and find my feet again, staying way too close. “You’re not twenty-one. How did you get in?”

  “My dad’s business partner owns the place.” Dylan still looks smug. “How did you get in?”

  I ignore his question. “Do you think I look pretty?”

  I’m only half aware this is something I’d never, ever, in a million years say. I even spin around so he can see my super-tight jeans and Karissa’s blue halter top, which might be a size too small, and my hair, which is in a perfectly messy pile on my head, leaving my neck exposed and my back bare.

  “Of course you do.” His eyes dart around before he does his ear-scratchy thing.

  “Wanna dance?” I reach out my hand.

  “I…uh…”

  “I’ll dance with you,” some guy says from behind me.

  When I turn to face him, he’s pretty cute. Too old for me, but what the hell. One dance.

  “Perfect.” I reach my arm up and slide it over his shoulder as his hands slide around the lowest part of my waist.

  “I don’t think so.” Lora grabs my arm.

  The guy looks between us twice and backs away.

  “Ziah.” She puts a hand on either shoulder and looks at me way too closely. “How much have you had to drink?”

  Her face is so scowly and hilarious. I start to giggle again. Derrick’s smirking behind her, and Mardie starts to duck away.

  “Oh, no you don’t.” Lora turns to Mardie. “How many of these things has she had?”

  Mardie shrugs. “I dunno. You were here, too.”

  “But Mardie was sneaking them in.” I giggle again.

  “Thank you.” Mardie’s eyes widen at me, which brings Lora’s attention to her and off me.

  “It’s one thing to let her come, but she’s plastered.” Lora sighs.

  I tug on my bottom lip, pulling it away from my face wondering if I can see it because it feels funny.

  Mardie leans toward Lora. “We were curious, you know? You can drink like a fish and just keep on moving, but Ziah…”

  “Can’t.” Lora puts her arm around me. “We should get you home.”

  “I just got here.” Derrick slides his arm around her waist.

  I get all warm and fuzzy again seeing them close together. I touch them both on the cheek and push their faces a little closer together. “You two are soooo beautiful. Your children will be almost as gorgeous as me.”

  And then I lose it laughing until Lora catches me because drunk and stilts don’t go together. Maybe tonight wasn’t a good night to practice in the heels.

  “At least you’re a happy drunk.” Lora rubs her hand on my back a little. “Geez, Ziah. Really.”

  I start to talk, but I’m still laughing too hard. Giggles tickle my body making me laugh more, and the room is like the best roller coaster ride ever.

  “Come on, Hanes.” Dylan’s arm slides around my waist. “I’ll get you home.”

  “Why do you have to smell so delicious?” I frown.

  “Hygiene. And I thought that was a good thing.” He turns to see me, but it puts our faces close together, and I lose my head a little.

  “Not when it gives me these happy tinglings way down here.” I tickle Dylan just under his belt, and he half-jumps away, which makes me stumble.

  “Oh-kay.” Derrick slaps his brother on the back and leans in close.

  I strain my ears.

  “Lora told me about the kiss. No touching. I’m serious.” Derrick’s practically growling, which is hilarious.

  Dylan knocks his brother’s arm off him. “Give me some credit, will ya?”

  “Sorry.” Derrick pats his back before stepping back.

  “If Mom and Dad are up, just blame me. I’ll deal with it tomorrow.” Lora gives me a kiss on my cheek.

  I’m still floating as Dylan leads me to his car. Maybe I should be mad I have to leave, but this night is too fun for me to care.

  ***

  Mary’s so wide that there’s this enormous space between us. “I’m too far away from you.” I pout. At least I think I’m pouting. I’m not sure I’ve ever tried it before. I feel invincible. Like I could fly away. Like I could say anything.

  “For what?” He readjusts his hands on the steering wheel and stares straight out at the road.

  “To mess with you while you drive. Mary’s too big.” I lean toward him smiling, but his eyes are focused on the street.

  “Don’t be mean to Mary just because you’re drunk, okay?”

  “I�
�m not that drunk.” I don’t think. I’ve never had more than one beer, or one glass of wine. Ever.

  “Really?” He cocks a brow and finally turns to smile at me.

  “Bet I’m not too drunk to kiss you.”

  Dylan goes rigid again.

  Just for fun, I decide to press him further and reach across the car, putting my hand high on the inside of his thigh.

  We swerve, Dylan curses and pushes my hand away.

  “Did I distract you?” I tease as I poke his cheek.

  “Always,” he mutters.

  It was worth leaving the bar just for this.

  Nineteen

  ~ Dylan ~

  I deserve sainthood. Really. Or knighthood. Or something. Ziah’s plastered to my side as I lead her up the front steps of her house. Her arms are circled around me, and my hand is on her waist. God, she was gorgeous tonight in her tight pants and the blue top. I’m pretty sure she did it just to drive me crazy.

  When Derrick told me his friend from college was coming down for a final fitting, I’d been stoked. Not because of them, but because of the girl in my arms right now. I knew I’d get to see her, too.

  Her coat’s on now, but before… It was almost more than the dress. She’s managed to walk that perfect line between sexy as hell but still Ziah, and it about killed me not to be able to touch her bare shoulder or her back.

  Well, we’re touching now, but it’s different. This is because she needs my help, not just because we want to explore each other. It’s strange because this is good, too. Probably too good. I’ve never had so much fun helping someone before.

  “You got a key, Hanes?” I ask.

  “Nope.”

  Shit. Now what? I’m afraid to try the doorbell. I’d much rather just drop her off than risk her parents catching us. Good thing Margarita smells good, but the alcohol still takes over. Not that her glassy eyes wouldn’t be enough to tip anybody off.

  “It’ll be unlocked.” She sort of points in the direction of the door.

  Weird. My house has a gate code, an alarm, and two locks.

  We stumble through the door, and all I’m trying to do is be quiet. Ziah doesn’t seem worried about it at all, letting the screen door slap shut and dropping her coat on the floor.

  “Ziah, shh.” But I’m distracted again by her top—what there is of it anyway.

  She turns, so her front is pressed against me. Her arms are around my neck. “What will you do to me?”

  The list of things I want to do to her is getting longer every second. I shove my hands in my back pockets, so I’m not tempted to do anything stupid.

  “You’re home. I gotta run.” This girl is killing me. I wonder if she knows how much I really like her. She should. I wouldn’t have told anyone what I said to her about my mom.

  Her body presses into me farther. “Will you help me upstairs?”

  I know I should say no. I mean, that’s like the first rule when you’re in my position and have no plans to hook up. But I don’t. Instead I put my arm around her again and lead her upstairs.

  Luckily, her door is quiet when we open it. Her room is a mess, which I would not have expected from Ziah. There are books on a shelf, but some are lying down and some upright. Her desk is full of papers and there is an overflowing clothes basket in the corner. She’s full of contradictions, and I like that about her.

  “Okay. You’re here. You gotta let me go.” Not only do I need to get away from her, but her parents are probably down the hall. The last thing I need is them walking in on us right now.

  “As soon as you give me a kiss.”

  Wow… Drunk Ziah has balls. I groan. “Ziah, no…”

  She closes her eyes and tilts her head away from me, pointing to this soft spot on her neck, just below her ear. “Right here, and then I promise to let you go.”

  Sainthood. Seriously.

  I’m having another one of those moments when I feel myself doing what I know I shouldn’t do. My lips touch her skin, and it hits me just like it did in that tunnel. My whole body reacts. Wants more while at the same time, it already feels like more.

  Her arms are still around my neck and she pushes in closer. So close that our faces almost touch. My hands rest low on her waist.

  “That wasn’t so hard, right?” She’s breathless and staring at my lips.

  “Not so hard.” I swallow. If she wasn’t drunk, I’d probably really screw up the friendship thing right now. My thumbs are tracing the skin along the top of her jeans. God. I have to stop.

  “’Night, Hanes.” I drop my arms.

  She frowns. “Night.”

  I can’t believe that didn’t wake her parents. And I have to get home before I do something really stupid, like walk back up the stairs and kiss her again.

  ***

  I haven’t stopped thinking about Ziah since Saturday. About how she smelled and how she looked and what her room looked like. The little mole I saw behind her ear when I kissed her, and how she’d curled her feet up on Mary’s seat and it didn’t even bother me.

  And crap… what I told her. I still can’t believe it. Derrick keeps trying to bring up Mom, and I won’t let him. I swear he looks relieved every time I skip out on the conversation. I don’t get why he keeps trying to talk to me about her if he obviously doesn’t want to go there.

  At lunch Becky and Chastity ask if they can ride with Paul and I. We climb into the Hummer and hit up Taco Bell. Lunch off-campus is only for seniors, so we make sure to hang out the window and talk crap to the lowerclassmen as we tear out of the parking lot.

  After ordering, we sit in the lot to eat. As soon as the food is consumed, Becky and Paul’s lips are locked as he leans her into the side of Mary.

  “Dude, quit getting busy on my car,” I call to him. Without taking his lips off Becky, he flips me off. Laughing at him, I climb into the driver seat to listen to some music before we have to go back. Less than thirty seconds later, Chastity is climbing in the passenger’s seat.

  “Wha’cha doing?” she asks.

  “Trying to keep my lunch in my stomach, which wouldn’t be a problem if I didn’t have to watch the two of them swap spit.” I push buttons on the CD player, trying to find the song I want.

  “So….what ya been up to?”

  “Nothing, you?” I’m still fooling with the dial.

  Chastity crosses her legs, and turns toward me a little. Finally! I find the song and lean back in my seat.

  “Nothing new… What’s this?” she picks up my sketchbook.

  “Don’t look at that!” I grab it from her. “Sorry, it’s nothing.”

  I tuck it under my seat and try to focus on the music again. My eyes close, and damn if I don’t think about Ziah again. And Derrick and Lora. The way he holds her and looks at her.

  When I feel a hand on my thigh, I jump.

  “Dylan?”

  “Yeah?” I don’t open my eyes.

  “Dylan.” She says a little more urgently this time. “I was thinking maybe we could hang out tonight?”

  My eyes open now. I should say yes. There’s a part of me that kind of wants to say yes, but the word doesn’t come out of my mouth. I told Ziah we were only friends, but it still doesn’t feel right.

  “I thought you and Ted were together?”

  She shakes her head, looking a little sad. “No. We broke up again.”

  And so she comes to me, which I guess I knew she would all along. Chastity comes to me for fun, but she’s really into someone else. It never bothered me before because, well, I only want fun, too, but now it feels weird. I’m just not feelin’ it like I used to.

  “I don’t think so, Chas. I’m just looking to chill right now. Got a lot going on with my family and stuff.”

  She pulls her hand away, not looking hurt, but maybe a little annoyed.

  “It’s just… I have a lot on my plate. I’m trying not to add anything more.” By the look on her face, I’m pretty sure that just came out all wrong. “Not that you’d be ‘on
my plate’ but you know what I mean.” Hopefully, because I sure don’t. All this girl wants is to have a good time with me. It makes no sense for me to say no to that.

  “You and Ted will get back together in no time.”

  “I hope so…” She mumbles, and for the first time, I wonder if there is more to Chastity than I thought.

  “We can all hang out, though. I’m just not into hanging out, hanging out.”

  “You have it really bad for someone, don’t you?”

  I scoff at that, but it makes me a little uncomfortable too. “No.”

  She laughs at me. “Whatever, Dylan. I swear, I will never understand boys.”

  “Yeah, me either.” I don’t understand myself or the opposite sex. I’m wondering if there’s anything I really do know.

  ***

  It’s decided that I’m skipping school on Tuesday, and we’re doing something for fun before Derrick and Lora’s friends go back to Boulder. It’s not like I’m going to argue with skipping school, but I have to admit I’m pretty sketched out about seeing Ziah.

  This girl is turning me into knots. I’m tripping out on what it’s going to be like just to hang out with her after I bared my friggin’ soul, and then she got drunk and asked me to kiss her. Totally not a friend thing to do, so can we still just be friends? I’m hoping so because I like hanging out with her way more than I thought I would.

  Ziah’s face gets all scrunched up as I step up and say hi at the beginning of the paintball course. I’m stoked this is what they chose for us to do.

  “What’s with you?” I ask as I nudge her with my elbow.

  “Just…” Her cheeks pink and then red. “The other night. When you dropped me off… I just…”

  Oh. She’s totally nervous about the other night. That kind of makes me feel better since I was too. I laugh. “No worries, Hanes. Happens to the best of us. How was your hangover?”

  “Hangover makes it sound like it takes less than a day to wear off. And it definitely didn’t.” She shakes her head, obviously still embarrassed about the whole thing. “No more drinking for Ziah.”

  “Well, if you ever decide to drink again, stick with me. You gotta find the happy buzz, and—”