Shamed in the Sands

by Sharon Kendrick

  ‘I have thought of little else!’

  ‘So what are you planning to tell him?’

  The lashes fluttered open and the look in her eyes was defiant, though the faint tremble of her lips less so. ‘Oh, I won’t mention your name, if that’s what you’re worried about.’

  ‘I am not frightened of your brother, Leila. And neither am I denying what happened—no matter how much I might now regret it.’ His mouth hardened. ‘I’m asking what you are intending to tell Murat.’

  She didn’t answer for a moment and when she did, her voice was heavy. ‘I guess I’m going to have to tell him the truth.’

  ‘Or your unique version of the truth?’ he questioned wryly. ‘Won’t the Sultan think that his sister’s innocence has been compromised by a man with enough experience to have known better? It might suit your purpose—and his—to convince him that you were taken advantage of by an Englishman with something of a reputation where the opposite sex is concerned. Mightn’t it be more acceptable for him to think of you as a victim rather than a predator?’

  ‘I’m no victim, Gabe!’ she flared back. ‘And I’m no predator either, no matter how much it suits you to think that. I certainly didn’t plan to seduce you—I was a virgin, for heaven’s sake! I just...just gave into the “chemistry” you were talking about. And you certainly didn’t seem to be objecting at the time.’

  ‘No, you’re right. I didn’t put up much in the way of a fight.’ His face tightened—as if her words were taking him some place he didn’t want to go. ‘But your brother is going to wonder when and where this great love affair of ours took place.’

  She flushed. ‘Obviously, he doesn’t know that I came to your hotel room.’

  ‘Actually, you came in my hotel room,’ he reminded her sardonically. ‘Don’t forget that part of the story, Leila—because it’s probably the best part of all.’

  Her flush deepened as his words brought back memories of the way it had been that day. The way he had kissed her and told her she was beautiful. In those few brief and glorious moments, she’d thought she’d found her heart’s desire. For a short while she had felt as perfect as it was possible to feel.

  But those feelings were in the past and they had been nothing but fantasy. All that was left was the brittle reality of the present—so why torture herself by remembering something which had been so fleeting?

  ‘That’s irrelevant,’ she said. ‘And I’m not scared of my brother.’ But then some of her bravado left her. Tiredly, she lifted up her hands and buried her face in them as the warm darkness enveloped her like a welcoming cloak.

  ‘Leila?’ His voice was suddenly soft. ‘Are you crying?’

  ‘No, I am not!’ she said fiercely, but she kept her face hidden all the same.

  ‘Then look at me,’ he commanded.

  Rebellion flared inside her. She didn’t want to look at him because, although there were no tears, she was afraid of what he might be able to read in her eyes. She didn’t want to expose her sense of deflation and defeat. The liberated woman she’d yearned to be seemed to have slipped away into the shadows and was nowhere to be seen. And she had no one to blame but herself. She had gone to a known playboy’s bedroom and let him kiss her. Why had she thought that having sex with a total stranger was somehow empowering?

  ‘I have a solution,’ he said.

  His words broke into her thoughts. She lowered her hands but her head remained bent—as if she had found something uniquely fascinating to look at on the dark denim of her jeans. ‘You have a magic wand with the power to turn back time, do you?’

  ‘Unfortunately, I’m clean out of magic wands, so it looks like I’ll just have to marry you instead.’

  At this, her head jerked up, her gaze meeting his in disbelief. ‘What?’

  ‘You heard. And you’re clever enough to realise it’s the only option. I have no choice, other than to make you my wife—because I can see it would be intolerably cruel to let a woman like you face this on your own.’ His eyes glittered like ice. ‘Because you are not on your own. I share equal responsibility for what has happened, although you are a princess while I am...’

  His face grew taut and Leila saw the sudden flare of pain which had darkened his grey eyes.

  ‘You’re what?’ she prompted breathlessly.

  For a moment he said nothing. A sudden darkness passed over his face, but just as quickly it was gone. The billionaire tycoon was back in control.

  ‘It doesn’t matter. For obvious reasons, this child cannot be born illegitimate. You will not need to hide your head in shame, Leila. I didn’t ever want to be a husband.’ His cool eyes flashed silver. ‘Or a father. But as you say—fate seems to have decided otherwise. And I will accept that fate. We will be married as soon as possible.’

  It should have been the dream solution but to Leila it felt like no such thing. She didn’t want to marry a man who looked as if he were destined for a trip to the gallows, or to live with the realisation that she had trapped him into a life he didn’t want. She couldn’t imagine ever bonding with this icy stranger.

  ‘I won’t do it,’ she said stubbornly. ‘I won’t tie myself to a man who doesn’t want me. And you can’t make me marry you.’

  ‘You think not?’ The smile he gave did not meet his eyes. ‘You’d be surprised what I can do if I set my mind to it—but I’m hoping that we can come to some kind of amicable agreement. These are the only terms I am offering and I’d advise you to accept them. Because you’re not really in any position to object. Your brother will disown you if you don’t and I doubt whether you have a clue how to look after yourself. Not in a strange city without your servants and bodyguards to accede to your every whim. You cannot subject a baby to a life like that and I won’t allow you to, because this is my baby too. You will marry me, Leila, because there is no alternative.’

  CHAPTER SIX

  LEILA STARED INTO the full-length mirror at someone who looked just like her. Who moved just like her. A woman who was startlingly familiar yet who seemed like a total stranger.

  She was eight weeks pregnant by a man who didn’t love her and today was her wedding day.

  She glanced around the luxury hotel room to which she would never return. Her suitcases had already been collected by Gabe’s driver and taken to his riverside apartment, which was to be her new home after she became his wife. She thought about the bare rooms and the minimalist decor which awaited her. She thought about the harsh, clear light which flooded in from the river. As if such a soulless place as that could ever be described as home!

  He had asked her to be his bride, yet he had made her feel as if she was an unwanted piece of baggage he had been forced to carry. She had eventually—and reluctantly—agreed with him that marriage seemed to be the only sensible solution, when his phone had begun to ring. And he had answered it! He had left her sitting there as if she’d been invisible while he had conducted a long and boring business call right in front of her. It had not been a good omen—or an encouraging sign about the way he treated women.

  Inside she had been seething, but what could she do? She could hardly storm out onto the unknown streets of London—or rush back to the safety of Qurhah, where nobody would want a princess who had brought shame onto her family name. She had felt trapped—and her heart had sunk like a heavy stone which had been dropped into a river. Was she destined to feel trapped for the rest of her days, no matter where in the world she lived?

  Her reflected image stared back at her and she regarded it almost objectively. Her bridal dress of cobalt-blue was sleek and concealing and the hotel hairdresser had woven crimson roses into her black hair. She had refused to wear white on principle. It hadn’t seemed appropriate in the circumstances. Much too romantic a gesture for such an occasion as this—because what was romantic about an expectant bride being taken reluctantly by a m
an who had no desire to be married to her?

  Yet didn’t some stupid part of her wish that it could all be different? Didn’t she wish she were floating along on a happy pink cloud, the way brides were supposed to do? Maybe all those books and films she’d devoured during her lonely life at the palace had left their mark on her after all. She had no illusions about men or marriage, but that didn’t stop her from wanting the dream—like some teenager who still believed that anything was possible.

  But at least this was to be a quiet wedding. And a quick wedding—which had presented more of a problem.

  The three-week wait required by English law had not been practical for a couple in their situation. As a desert princess, she could not live with Gabe and she had no desire to spend weeks in limbo at the Granchester Hotel, no matter how luxurious her suite there. Short of flying to Vegas, the only alternative was to get married in the Qurhahian Embassy in London—for which she needed her brother’s permission. And she hadn’t wanted to ask him, because she hadn’t wanted to tell him why she needed to marry the Englishman in such a rush.

  Yet she’d known she was going to have to break the news to Murat some time, hadn’t she? She’d known she was going to have to tell him she was having Gabe’s baby—so how could he refuse to grant her use of the embassy? She knew—and he knew—that the niece or nephew of the Sultan could not be born outside wedlock.

  It had been the most difficult conversation of her life—not helped by the fact that it had been conducted by telephone. Her nervous stammering had been halted by Gabe taking the phone from her and quietly telling the Sultan that he intended to marry her. She wasn’t sure what Murat actually said in response because Gabe had just stood there and listened to what sounded like an angry tirade thundering down the line.

  But the Englishman had stood his ground and, after calmly reasserting his determination to take her as his bride, had handed the phone back to Leila.

  Beneath Gabe’s grey gaze, she had explained to Murat that while she would prefer to do this with his blessing, she was perfectly prepared to do it without. Such a wait would, of course, mean living with a man who was not her husband.

  The Sultan had sounded shocked—as much by her attitude as by her words—for she was aware that few people ever openly defied him. But unexpectedly, his voice had softened and for a moment he had sounded just like the Murat she’d thought no longer existed. The one she’d seen all those years ago, after their mother had died. When for once he had let down his guard and Leila had sobbed in his arms until there were no tears left to cry. And afterwards she’d noticed his own damp cheeks and seen the grief which had ravaged his dark face.

  That was the only time in her life she had seen her brother showing emotion until now, when he asked her a question which came out of nowhere.

  ‘And do you love him, Leila?’ he had asked her quietly. ‘This man Gabe Steel.’

  Leila had closed her eyes and walked to the far end of the room, knowing that a lie was the only acceptable answer. A lie would make Murat leave them alone. A lie would confer an odd kind of blessing on this strange marriage.

  ‘Yes,’ she had answered in a low voice, glad that Gabe was not within earshot. ‘Yes, I love him.’

  And that had been that. Blessing conferred. They were given permission to use the embassy although Murat told her he would not be attending the nuptials himself.

  In fact, the ceremony was to have only two witnesses—Sara and her husband, Suleiman, who had also known Leila since she had been a child. A relatively informal lunch following the ceremony was to be their only celebration. Time had been too tight to arrange anything else, although Gabe told her that a bigger party for his colleagues and friends could be arranged later, if she was so inclined.

  Was she? She didn’t know any of his colleagues or friends. She knew hardly anything about him—and in truth he seemed to want it to stay that way. It was as if the man she was marrying was an undiscovered country—one which she had suddenly found herself inhabiting without use of a compass. She was used to men who told women little—or nothing—but this was different. She was having his baby, for heaven’s sake—and surely that gave her some sort of right to know.

  On the eve of their wedding, they had been eating an early dinner in the Granchester’s award-winning rooftop restaurant when she’d plucked up enough courage to ask him a few questions.

  ‘You haven’t mentioned your parents, Gabe.’

  His expression had been as cold as snow. ‘That’s because they’re dead. I’m an orphan, Leila—just like you.’

  The cool finality in his tone had been intimidating but she wasn’t going to give up that easily. She had put down her glass of fizzy water and looked him squarely in the eyes.

  ‘What about brother or sisters?’

  ‘Sadly, there’s none. Just me.’ The smile which had followed this statement had been mocking. ‘Tell me, did you bring your camera to England with you?’

  The change of subject had been so abrupt that Leila had blinked at him in confusion. ‘No. I left Qurhah in such a hurry that my camera was the last thing on my mind.’

  ‘Pity. I thought it might have given you something to do.’

  ‘I’m going to buy myself a new one,’ she said defensively.

  ‘Good.’

  It was only afterwards that she realised he had very effectively managed to halt her line in questioning, with the adroitness of a man who was a master of concealment.

  But now was not the moment to dwell on all the things which were missing from their relationship, because Sara had arrived to accompany her to the embassy for the wedding and Leila knew she must push her troubled thoughts aside. She must pin a bright smile to her lips and be prepared to play the part expected of her. Because if Sara guessed at her deep misgivings about the marriage, then mightn’t she try to talk her out of it?

  They embraced warmly and Sara’s smile was soft as she pulled away and studied her. ‘You look utterly exquisite, Leila,’ she said. ‘I hope Gabe knows what a lucky man he is.’

  Somehow, Leila produced an answering smile. Lucky? She knew Sara had guessed the truth—that she was newly pregnant with Gabe’s baby. But Sara wasn’t aware that the thought of having a baby didn’t scare her nearly as much as the fact that she was marrying a man who seemed determined to remain a stranger to her. She thought of his shuttered manner. The way he had batted back her questions as if she had no right to ask them. How could she possibly cope with living with such a man?

  Yet as she made a final adjustment to her flowered headdress she felt a little stab of determination. Couldn’t she break through the emotional barriers which Gabe Steel had erected around his heart? She had come this far—too far—to be dismissed as if what she wanted didn’t matter. Because it did matter. She mattered. And no matter how impossible it seemed, she knew what was top of her wish-list. She wanted Gabe to be close to her and their baby. She’d had enough of families who lived their lives in separate little boxes—she’d done that all her life. Sometimes what you wanted didn’t just happen—you had to reach out and grab it for yourself. And grab it she would.

  ‘Let’s hope he does,’ she said with a smile as she picked up her bouquet.

  But her new-found determination couldn’t quite dampen down her flutter of nerves as the car took her and Sara to Grosvenor Square, where Gabe was standing on the steps waiting for her.

  She thought how formidably gorgeous he looked as he came forward to greet her. Toweringly tall in a charcoal suit which contrasted with the dark gold of his hair, he seemed all power and strength. She told herself she wouldn’t have been human if her body hadn’t begun to tremble with excitement in response to him.

  But he was only standing there because he had no choice.

  Because she was carrying his baby.

  That was all.

  ‘Hello
, Leila,’ he said.

  Her apprehension diminished a little as she saw the momentary darkening of his quicksilver eyes. ‘Hello, Gabe,’ she answered.

  ‘You look...incredible.’

  The compliment took her off-guard and so did the way he said it. Her fingers fluttered upwards to check the positioning of the crimson flowers in her hair. ‘Do I?’

  Gabe read the uncertainty in her eyes and knew that he could blot it out with a kiss. But he didn’t want to kiss her. Not now and not in public. Not with all these damned embassy officials hovering around, giving him those narrow-eyed looks of suspicion, as they’d been doing ever since he’d arrived. He wondered if they resented their beautiful princess marrying a man from outside their own culture. Or whether they guessed this was a marriage born of necessity, rather than of love.

  Love.

  He hoped his exquisite bride wasn’t entertaining any fantasies about love—and maybe he needed to spell that out for her. To start as he meant to go on. With the truth. To tell her that he was incapable of love. That he had ice for a heart and a dark hole for a soul. That he broke women’s hearts without meaning to.

  His mouth hardened.

  Would he break hers, too?

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  THE MARRIAGE CEREMONY was conducted in both Qurhahian and English, and Gabe reflected more than once that the royal connection might have intimidated many men. But he was not easily intimidated and essentially it was the same as any other wedding he’d ever been to. He and Leila obediently repeated words which had been written by someone else. He slid a gleaming ring onto her finger and they signed a register, although his new wife’s signature was embellished with a royal crest stamped into a deep blob of scarlet wax.

  She put the pen down and rose gracefully from the seat, but as he took her hand in his he could feel her trembling and he found his fingers tightening around hers to give her an encouraging squeeze.