Of Loss & Betrayal (Madison & Logan Book 2)

by S. H. Kolee

  I hadn’t expected the topic change and tensed, but I nodded. As much as I hated to talk about Kristina, it was important to know what was happening with her case. The last thing I needed was for her to be on the loose again.

  “She’s pleading insanity to the charge of attempted murder. I don’t know if it’ll actually go to trial because they might work out a plea deal.”

  The fact that she was trying to escape culpability pissed me off. “She’s not insane. She knew exactly what she was doing. Twice! And I can’t believe a plea deal would even be considered. What is she going to get, a slap on the wrist?”

  “She’s definitely going to get some time, either in jail or a psychiatric hospital. I know it’s not the best case scenario, but there’s not much we can do besides stay informed of the proceedings, and participate if there’s a trial.”

  “Let’s not talk about it anymore,” I said with a grimace. “It’s just going to make me upset.”

  My cell phone rang and I swallowed when I saw that it was Mr. Brooks calling. I hadn’t heard from him since leaving Laurenston after Mrs. Brooks was committed, although I had left him a couple of voicemails.

  “Hello?” I said cautiously.

  “Madison, it’s Cassie’s father.”

  “Hi, Mr. Brooks,” I said tentatively. “It’s good to hear from you.”

  “I’m sorry I haven’t gotten back to you sooner.” He sounded tired. “Between visiting Judith and work, I haven’t had much down time.”

  “It’s okay,” I reassured him. “I know this must be a really hard time for you. How’s Mrs. Brooks?”

  “Not so well,” he said grimly. “She seems to have sunk deeper into her delusions. She’s starting to regress back to when we were younger. She sometimes recognizes me as her boyfriend, not her husband.”

  My heart sank. “I’m so sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do?”

  Mr. Brooks sighed. “I appreciate it, but not really. I’m hopeful that the doctors here can help her. Thankfully, they seem to be focused on trying to treat her illness rather than just medicating her into a vegetable, which I would never allow. I want her back home as soon as possible, but only when she’s healthy. I would do anything to be able to stay in the hospital with her but she’s not allowed overnight guests.”

  I could hear the love and pain in his voice. Despite all the heartache and despair Mrs. Brooks had been through, she had one shining example of why her life was worth living: her husband. He would do anything to help her, even if his previous efforts had been misguided. He had entertained her delusions about Cassie still being alive because he hadn’t wanted to hurt her. It made me realize how much easier it was to face the trials of life with a partner you could depend on to be by your side, no matter what. That’s what Logan had offered me last night and I had refused.

  Suddenly, my reasons for refusing his proposal seemed trivial. I might never know what his involvement with Kristina had been before the accident, but I couldn’t let that stop me from living my life. What if Logan never regained his memory? I was just wasting time, and if I had learned anything through this whole ordeal, it was that time was precious.

  Mr. Brooks and I talked for a few more minutes and he promised to contact me if Mrs. Brooks’ condition changed before we hung up.

  “Any news?” Logan asked.

  “Not really. Mrs. Brooks doesn’t seem to be any better.” I paused, my hands fidgeting together on my lap. I took a deep breath before speaking again. “If your offer still stands from last night, my answer is yes. I would love to marry you.”

  Instead of answering, Logan stood up and walked over to me, pulling me out of my chair. I opened my mouth to ask him what he was doing, but before I could say anything, he leaned down and kissed me. This kiss was gentle and sweet, and full of aching emotion. When our lips parted, his gaze was tender.

  “Of course my offer still stands.” He lifted his hand to stroke my cheek. “What made you change your mind?”

  “Talking to Mr. Brooks made me realize that there are no guarantees in life. There’s no guarantee on how much time you’re going to be given, and to waste any of it is foolish. I want to move forward with my life and be happy, and that means being with you.” I swallowed, the next words sounding foreign. “It means being your wife, regardless of what our future holds. I just know that it won’t be worth living without you.”

  Logan’s eyes were full of emotion as he reached into his pocket and pulled out the ring box. “I’ve been carrying this around all day. I kept telling myself to be patient, that you needed time. But what I wanted to do was come home today and demand that you put on this ring.” He smiled ruefully. “Maybe not the most romantic gesture, but I need to bind you to me. I need to know that you’re mine and I’ll do anything to keep you safe”

  He opened the box and took out the ring, reaching for my hand. I gave him my left hand, holding my breath as he slipped it on. I held my hand out in front of me, admiring the brilliant shimmer of the diamonds.

  “It’s so beautiful,” I whispered, smiling up at him, my eyes welling with tears. I couldn’t believe this was actually happening. My dreams were coming true.

  “You’re beautiful, Mrs. Delaney,” he said in a low voice.

  I laughed through my tears. “We just got engaged. We’re not married yet.”

  “I’m thinking a short engagement is a good idea. Think we can get a wedding together in a couple of months?”

  “A couple of months!” I exclaimed. “Most people take a whole year to plan a wedding.”

  Logan frowned. “I’m not waiting a year. Three months max.”

  “Three months? That’s not enough time,” I protested vehemently. Before I could say anything more, Logan scooped me up and carried me into the bedroom.

  “We’ll talk about the logistics later. It’s time to celebrate our engagement.”

  I laughed as he tossed me onto the bed, but my amusement quickly turned into desire as he pressed me into the mattress. He took my sweater off in one quick movement and I gasped when he slid his hands underneath the cups of my bra. My nipples pebbled against his rough palms as he brushed them against my breasts. His fingers found my nipples, twisting and pulling them, making me arch my back. He leaned down, catching one of them between his teeth before sucking hard.

  I moaned, every nerve-ending in my body feeling alive. I lifted my hips, pressing into his erection that was nestled between my legs. I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to get to spend the rest of my life with this beautiful, strong man.

  “I love you, Maddie,” he whispered, as he looked up to gaze at my face. It was hard for me to think straight, let alone reply, because he was still teasing my taut nipples with his fingers.

  He watched me as he continued to squeeze and caress my nipples. “You belong to me,” he said in a low voice. I was lost in a sea of desire, and his words just heightened my arousal.

  “Yes,” I whispered, my fingers digging into his shoulders as he leaned down again to take my other nipple in his mouth. “I belong to you.”

  Logan’s hands slipped down and undid my jeans. I cried out when he pushed one hand down under my jeans and beneath my panties, pressing against my wetness. “What about this pussy? Who does it belong to?”

  “You,” I cried out mindlessly, my head thrashing back and forth when he slipped his thumb down onto my clit, stroking it. “My pussy belongs to you.”

  Logan made a sound of pure male satisfaction, and I gasped when he roughly pulled my jeans off. Before I knew it, my bra and panties joined the rest of my clothes on the floor. Logan stood at the foot of the bed, staring down at me, his expression dark with desire.

  “Let me take pictures of you.”

  “What?” I roused out of my haze of desire to frown at him. “What do you mean?”

  Logan had a half-smile on his face. “It’s the night of our engagement. We should commemorate it.” He raised an eyebrow. “Actually, I just want shots of you naked, wearing on
ly the ring. We’ll call it an engagement present.”

  I scrunched up my face. “I’m supposed to get you an engagement present?”

  Logan laughed. “That’s the thing you’re questioning out of this whole scenario?”

  I gave him a mock pout, but my mind was whirring. Was he suggesting this because he wanted to blot out the memory of the supposed engagement picture Kristina had shown us as evidence? I pushed the thought away as soon as I had it. I wouldn’t let Kristina ruin this moment. This was just about Logan and me.

  “I guess if it’s an engagement present, I’ll have to oblige.” I gave him a look of worry. “But these better stay private!”

  Logan gave me a look. “Like I would let anyone see pictures of you naked. You’re something I’m definitely not planning on sharing.”

  He grabbed his camera from the bedroom closet and walked back towards the bed, pointing it at me. I looked at him awkwardly, unsure of what to do. I had no experience in this, and I didn’t know how to transform from girl next door to porn star.

  Logan started taking pictures and I frowned at him. “What am I supposed to be do?”

  “Spread your legs,” he ordered huskily. “I want to see your wet pussy.”

  I swallowed as I followed his direction, arousal replacing my embarrassment. I told myself to let loose. I was with the man I loved. My future husband. There was no reason to feel awkward.

  “That’s it,” he said in a low voice, as I slid my hands down, touching myself. “Let me see you play with yourself.”

  His words were highly erotic and I felt myself getting wetter as I stroked my clit. He came closer, his camera zooming in on me caressing myself, but instead of making me feel awkward, I felt a surge of empowerment. I could see how turned on Logan was becoming by this, and it made me lose all my inhibitions.

  “Use your other hand to play with your nipples.”

  I reached up with one hand, twisting my nipple with my fingers as my other hand continued to rub my engorged clit. My breathing was becoming labored. I was as turned on by the clicking of the camera as I was by my own hands.

  “How does it feel?” Logan murmured.

  “It feels so good,” I whimpered, my hand moving faster and faster between my legs, my other hand pulling at my nipple.

  “Let me see you fuck yourself.”

  My breath hitched at his words. I slipped my hand further down, moaning as I pushed first one, then two fingers into my tight wetness. I thrust my fingers in and out, my hips bucking, moving in rhythm with my strokes. Logan continued to take pictures but I could hear his heavy breathing.

  “Taste yourself. Let me see you put your wet fingers in your mouth.”

  I watched him take pictures of me as I raised my fingers to my mouth, licking them and sucking on them erotically. I felt a heady rush of power when he dropped the camera to the floor and pushed himself between my legs.

  “Fuck pictures,” he said roughly. “I’ll just have to rely on my memory.”

  Before I could say anything, I felt the rough rasp of his tongue between my legs and I lost it. I was writhing so much that he had to clamp my hips to the bed, his fingers digging into me to keep me from thrashing off the bed. The tension between my legs grew as he continued to lave my swollen clit with his tongue, until it was almost unbearable. When he sucked my clit into this mouth and pushed his fingers into me, the tension broke and my body undulated with waves of pleasure that seemed to last forever. I was vaguely aware of my cries filling the room as I lost myself in my orgasm.

  When the last ripple left me, my body fell limply against the bed. Logan got up and laid down next to me. He must have stripped before lying down because he was now naked, but I had been too far gone in my climax to even notice. I was taken by surprise when he grasped my hips and lifted me up in one smooth motion. I barely realized what was happening before he positioned me above him so I was straddling him. Before I could say a word, he forcefully lifted his hips up, slamming his erection into me so hard that it felt like it reached the end of me.

  I was still sensitive from my orgasm and I gasped. I gripped his shoulders for balance as he lifted me up so that his cock was almost completely unsheathed, and then pushed me down, plunging his hard length back into me with force. Riding him felt raw and primal and the next time he pulled out to thrust back in again, I pushed down on him before he got the chance. He growled as he looked up at me.

  “Trying to take control?” he rasped.

  “Yes,” I panted, and then lifted my hips up to unsheath him, and then slammed back down again. He groaned, making me even more eager to pleasure him. I thrust my hips up and down rhythmically, riding him as hard as I could. He let me take over the reins, both of our bodies getting sweaty as we strained towards each other. I felt the tension coiling between my legs again, and it pushed me to ride him harder and faster. My nails were digging into his chest, but Logan didn’t even seem to notice. His face was strained and his teeth gritted as I moved faster. He reached up and grabbed my breasts, tugging at my nipples. I flung my head back, panting heavily as I rode him as hard as I could. I felt his body grow rigid, and then he shouted out, pushing his hips up as he pumped his release into me. It was too much for me, and I keened loudly as another climax ripped through me, leaving me shuddering.

  I collapsed on top of Logan as the last tremor left me, feeling weak and utterly satisfied. Logan stroked my back as we both struggled to catch our breath. His chest was warm and I snuggled against it, feeling perfectly content. I made a sound of dismay when I saw that my nails had actually broken through his skin, leaving small moon-shaped scratches on this chest. I leaned over and kissed them gently.

  “I’m sorry,” I said apologetically. “I got a little carried away. I didn’t mean to actually scratch you.”

  Logan laughed and kissed the top of my head. “I’ll take those battle scars any day, if it means you riding me like that.”

  I rolled my eyes but couldn’t help laughing. I admired the ring on my hand that was resting on his chest. It was a foreign feeling, having a diamond ring on my hand winking back at me. It was hard not to just stare at it.

  My thoughts wandered to my dream about Cassie. I called it a dream, but I truly believed that it had been Cassie reaching out to me, pushing me back into the living. For the first time, I felt peace about what had happened to her. I was able to accept that she had known about Logan and me, but I was also able to accept that she hadn’t killed herself because of it. I would forever regret the way I handled the situation back in college, but I would always be grateful for Cassie’s forgiveness and love.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  I called Emily the next day to tell her about our engagement. She was almost excited as I was and was ecstatic when I asked her to be the maid of honor. The first thing she asked was whether Logan was going to have some hunky groomsmen. I laughed and told her I’d be sure to tell him it was a necessary requirement.

  I called my father after my phone call with Emily. He was surprised but happy for me, and made me promise to visit home soon with Logan. Logan’s parents were still in Europe, but he had mentioned that he would let them know today about our engagement.

  I spent the entire morning daydreaming about what our wedding would be like, as well as looking up online how exactly one went about planning a wedding. I didn’t take Logan seriously when he said he wanted to be married in three months, but I knew he wouldn’t be patient enough for a year-long engagement. Truthfully, I didn’t want to wait that long either. We had wasted so much time; I didn’t want to waste anymore.

  Later in the day, I finally settled myself in front of my computer to get some actual work done. It was difficult, because my thoughts kept drifting to Logan and our wedding, but I forced myself to buckle down and was able to get a good amount of writing done.

  It was late afternoon when my phone rang, and I smiled when I saw it was Logan calling.

  “Have you set a date yet?” he asked when I answered th
e phone.

  I laughed. “We just got engaged last night, plus I’m actually getting some work done today. I think we’re allowed a few days to just wallow in the moment.”

  “I guess it’s acceptable to wait a few days, but we definitely need to pick a date by this weekend.” Logan’s words were firm but I could hear the smile in his voice. “I’m leaving work early today. I’ll probably be home in about an hour. I expect you to be waiting naked in bed for me. Start playing with yourself so that you’re nice and wet for me when I get home, because I’m going to start fucking you the moment I walk through the door.”

  I blushed at his erotic words in the plain light of day. “Logan,” I admonished, “what if someone at work hears you?” Despite my protestation, I could feel myself starting to get wet.

  “My office door is closed,” Logan said dismissively. His voice deepened. “I’ll see you soon.”

  I couldn’t wait for Logan to come home after we got off the phone. I finished the section of my article I was working on as quickly as I could, and then put my computer to sleep. I took Lola for a walk around the block, freezing my ass off the entire way. By the time we got back, it had been almost an hour since Logan’s call, so I hurried to do as he asked. I stripped and lay on the bed, the comforter cool and smooth against my body. I slid one hand down to twist my nipple as my other hand went farther down. I spread my legs open and stroked myself, pretending that it was Logan touching me. It didn’t take long to make myself orgasm. Despite the release, I still felt an ache inside me, because it was nowhere near as satisfying as it was to be with Logan. I willed him to hurry home, needing to feel him inside me.

  I was lying in bed, daydreaming about Logan, when the next thing I knew, I woke up from a deep sleep. It was dark inside the apartment, and I groggily looked at the alarm clock on the bedside table. I was surprised that I had been asleep for over an hour. I was also surprised that Logan wasn’t home yet. I was cold, so I got up and put my clothes back on. I checked my cell phone to see if he had called, but there was nothing. I frowned. He definitely would have called me if he had gotten held up at work. I was puzzled by the lack of contact.