by S. Moose
Me: He’s a great guy, but I love Nicholas…
Bradley: Damn, I should come back and watch the drama, haha. But in all seriousness, be careful, especially with your heart.
Me: I will, thank you. Have fun, okay? Love ya!
Bradley: You too, darling ;)
Sinking into my pillow, I close my eyes and think about the man who has my heart.
“All right; get up, sleepyhead!” Lexi jumps on my bed, waking me up.
“Huh? What?” I open my heavy eyes and adjust to the light coming from outside. “Lexi, I’m so tired. What do you want?” I whine, pushing her away.
“You and me need a spa day. Come on. Get your cute ass up and get moving. We both need a girls’ date, courtesy of my sexy Larry.” She winks, pulling me out of bed.
“Ew, please don’t say that near me!” Laughing, I push her out of my room and get ready. Maybe she’s right; a spa day is needed.
We walk inside Harbour Club Spa and are quickly taken to the back, where we undress and lie on the massage tables. I look over to Lexi and think about telling her everything’s that’s going on between Nicholas and me. It’s killing me not being able to talk to her about what’s going on. I need advice; best friend advice.
“So tell me what’s going on! You and Nicholas left so quickly.” She winks, smiling. “I’m glad that you two are finding a way to talk and be together. Kinda shitty that Jamie’s here. But I have a feeling something’s up.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know. She’s always bringing Emma to my parents’ and she’s been secretive. Each time I ask her if she needs a ride to her appointment or anything, she brushes me off. We’ve never gotten along, but damn, she’s rude.”
I listen to what she says about Jamie and, although I don’t know her very well, I know she’s a bitch and a liar. Maybe Lexi is right and she’s up to something.
Before she can say anything else, our massage therapists are in the room and slowly put us in a trance of relaxation. After our massages and facials, it’s time for manis and pedis.
“I feel so great!” Lexi stretches with a huge smile on her face. “It’s like all the stress is gone from my body.”
“Thank you so much for today! I needed it.”
Lexi throws her arm over my shoulders as we walk to the next room. Before we go in, I see Jamie in the corner of my eye. I don’t say anything to Lexi. I can’t stop looking at Jamie and wonder what she’s doing. She looks happy and full of life. There are a bunch of girls with her. Weird, I didn’t think she had anyone here.
“What are you looking at?” Lexi follows my stare and gasps. She pulls me to the corner, where we’re hidden.
“What’s she doing here?”
“She looks good for someone who is dying.” Damn damn damn! Me and my big mouth.
“What!” I turn to her and shush her. “Explain!”
“Long story short.” I pause, still watching Jamie. “Nicholas told me Jamie has cancer and only has a few months.”
“Get. The. Fuck. Out! Lies; bitch isn’t dying. Look at her!” We do just that and hear her laughing, holding a glass of champagne. The whole scene is playing in front of us and I can’t help but wonder if Jamie is lying about her cancer.
NEITHER OF US SAY ANYTHING, AND THE PHONE KEEPS RINGING. The familiar tension and guilt evades our emotions. Karly closes her eyes and forces herself not to cry. Her face scrunches and her breathing is controlled.
“I have to go.”
“I know you do.”
Slowly getting out of bed, I throw on my clothes, grab my things, and kiss her on the lips. She grabs my hand and looks at me with those blue-green eyes I first fell in love with.
“Promise me it won’t be like this for long.”
“I promise.” I kiss her again. “We’ll have our own fairytale ending,” I brush her hair out of her beautiful face. “It’ll be you, me, and Emma soon. Trust in us and don’t leave me.”
“I won’t leave you,” she barely whispers. “Go before she calls again.” I sigh, kiss her forehead, and leave her alone in her bed. The bed we’ve been making love on, the bed where I hold her in my arms and tell her I love her. But leave because my wife is calling me.
I know I’m an asshole and I’m going to regret doing this to the woman I love, but I’m too selfish to let her go. She’s my biggest obstacle and I plan on finishing and crossing the line just to be with her because she’s worth it. I hope she feels the same way and doesn’t wake up one day regretting this life with me.
Sitting in my car, looking at my house, I have two choices. Go inside and take care of Jamie like I promised or go back to Karly and love her like I promised. See the fucking problem? I’m making too many promises and am trying to keep them. The tightness in my chest grows as tears threaten my eyes. Fucking hell.
As I walk in the house, Jamie meets me halfway to the kitchen. She doesn’t say anything. Instead, she crosses her arms and glares at me.
“Were you with Karly?” I nod. “I see. Well, she knows we’re married. What a bitch.”
“Stop, Jamie. She knows everything. I told her and I asked her to marry me. I hope you can be happy for me. You know all of this, so why are you acting surprised?”
Her expression is blank; there’s no emotion. I know she’s sick and shit, but nothing comes out of her. “I guess you can say I hope you would see how stupid you are, thinking this girl is going to wait for you.” Charging into the living room, she throws herself on the couch. She clings to a pillow and fat tears roll down her cheeks. “You couldn’t wait until I was dead,” she seethes before turning away.
“Jamie! Stop!” I scream, staring at her. “What the hell is your problem? You knew we didn’t get married because we fell back in love with each other. You came to me with a problem and I’ve been helping you. I’m paying for your medical bills.”
“I’m just surprised. I am happy for you.” She smiles. “Just remember we’re married. Wouldn’t want to give her a bad image.”
“It’ll be fine. Karly knows everything and it’s out in the open.”
“Be grateful that I’m not making you stop seeing her.”
What the hell is she talking about? “Grateful? Are you serious? You’re a nightmare, Jamie. One fucking disaster.”
She lays her hand on my cheek. “You agreed to this.” Leaving me with a kiss, she walks away.
I lean against the counter, my hands behind me so I don’t fucking kill her. I run my hands through my hair and head downstairs to the basement for a quick workout. I need to punch something before I punch her. Even though I’ll never hit a woman, Jamie is the only fucking exception.
Quickly changing my clothes, I put on my boxing gloves and start wailing on the punching bag. I lose myself with each punch, grunting and fuming. I focus on the target on the punching bag and hit it each time. Not caring about the soreness I keep going, hard. Hitting my target, breathing in and out, raging with fury. Jamie’s face comes to my mind and I go at the punching bag with turbo speed. Everything blurs. I feel my arms extending to hit the bag, fast and hard. My legs lifting up and kicking the bag. It’s a constant motion, switching between punching and kicking.
I lose track of time and soon my body gives out. With one last punch, the bag swings back. Sweat pours down from my face. My hands are raw and red, but I don’t feel anything.
Slowly heading upstairs, I shower and throw on a fresh outfit. Stephen wants to meet for a few rounds of gold. Grabbing my keys I head out.
“So you asked Karly to marry you and you’re still married to Jamie?”
I swing the club and hit the ball, watching it sail through the air. “Yeah, pretty much.”
“I don’t know what the hell you’re doing. You gotta figure this shit out.”
“I am.”
Stephen puts his hand on my shoulder, stopping me. “Let me warn you,” he said, keeping his eyes on me. “Don’t mess with both of them. You’re playing with fire. Karly’s not gonna
put up with this shit for long and you know that.”
I study him, taking in what he’s saying. “What the hell do you know about this? Remember you’re a player for life.”
Shaking his head, “if you took your head outta your ass you’d see that wasn’t the case.”
Stephen doesn’t wait for me to respond. He walks away, grabbing his clubs, and getting in the cart.
“What do you mean by that?”
“Nothing. Don’t worry bout it. Just know you can only fuck up so many times before you lose her, or both of them. Whatever. I know losing Jamie won’t matter. Losing Karly though,” he pauses, starting the cart and driving back to the club. “If you lose Karly again you can be sure to know she won’t come back another time around.”
My phone vibrates before I can answer him.
Karly: I miss you.
Me: I miss you too, Angel. I’m sorry I keep leaving you at night. I wish I could hold you in my arms and watch you sleep. You look peaceful and you’re so beautiful.
Karly: You sure know how to make a girl blush, Mr. Hayes.
Me: Just for you, Angel. Have you talked to Jensen?
Karly: I’ll tell him that I just want to be friends. He’s a good guy, babe. You’ll like him.
Me: I don’t like anyone who wants what’s mine ;)
Karly: You’re annoying, lol. Okay, well, Emma’s here, so I’m gonna go play with her. You should come over and pick her up ;) xoxo.
“Wanna come to dinner at Lexi and Larry’s?”
“Na, I’m okay.”
After dropping off the cart, I get my car from valet and head to my favorite girls. The drive is quick and soon I find myself on the deck, watching my girls as they laugh and play. Lexi is lying on a chair and Larry’s manning the grill. This is the life I should and will be living.
“Daddy!” Emma screeches, from her chair. Her arm is in a cast, my poor Princess. “Hi, Daddy!”
“Hi, Princess.” I kiss her chubby cheeks and realize it’s been two days since she’s been in my arms. “I miss you.”
“I miss you more.” She giggles. “Look who’s here!”
“I know,” I whisper back. “Thanks for taking care of Karly.” She giggles again, squirming out of my arms and crawling over to Karly. Her pink cast is filled with signatures and get well wishes. I still can’t figure out what happened and Emma doesn’t remember. I’ve been keeping a close eye on her when I’m home. At first the cast was a sign that summer’s over and no more swimming, but now she sees all the attention and is enjoying it.
Larry comes over, handing me a beer. Bending over, I kiss my Angel on her forehead. “Hi.”
“Hi, love.” She smiles. The ring on her finger shines and I hear Lexi swooning behind me. “I missed you.”
I kiss her again. “Always missing you.”
The day quickly goes by as we sit outside, eating dinner. Emma’s smiling and sitting with Karly while Larry’s admiring my sister.
“So, married to one woman and engaged to the other. Damn, brother.” Larry laughs, earning a slap on the arm from Lexi. “Listen; no offense, but Jamie’s up to something, man. She doesn’t seem like, she’s ... well ... you know,” he says, looking at Emma.
“I’m assuming you told them everything?” Karly shrugs, taking a bite of her asparagus. “It’s complicated.”
“Well, Mom and Dad are on their way over, so you better hold on tight because they are PISSED.”
“NICHOLAS LANDON HAYES!”
“Here we go.” Lexi laughs, leaning back in her chair.
“So is that why you got married?” I look up and notice my mom’s looking at me and she’s not happy at all. “I knew something wasn’t right!”
“Mom, she wanted some more time with Emma and me. You can’t blame her for wanting that.”
“The girl had years, Nicholas! How many chances are you going to give this woman?” Dad holds her back, but she’s not done. “I don’t believe her. I’m sorry, I just don’t. How convenient for her to come back and ruin everything.” She eyes Karly and gives her a smile. “What? Nicholas Landon Hayes, what’s on Karly’s very important finger?”
“Oh, man, you’re so dead,” Lexi says, causing my dad to shake his head.
“So you marry one woman and ask another? Oh, Nicholas, what in the world do you think you’re doing?”
“I’m sorry for all of this,” Karly says. “Nicholas, maybe we shouldn’t be in this position.”
I quickly get up and ask Emma to go inside so she doesn’t have to hear all of this. As soon as she’s inside, I look at my family. “I know this is pretty messed up and I’m sorry. Jamie came to me with the news and I didn’t know what else to do. She doesn’t have that much time left and I think I made the right decision marrying her and taking care of the medical bills. Karly’s forgiven me and, as bad as it sounds, we’ll have our forever soon.”
Karly gets up and stands by my side. “We’re sorry and we hope you support us.”
“Shit, you have my vote! I’ve always hated Jamie and I get it, Nicky. You’re a good man. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”
Mom sits down and covers her face. “I don’t get it. Cancer? Jamie? Have you been with her to her appointments? What are the doctors saying?”
“Actually, I haven’t been going. She doesn’t want me there, but they’re telling her there’s nothing that can be done. It’s too late.”
“Wait,” Larry yells. “You haven’t been to any appointments with her?” I shake my head. “How do you know she’s telling the truth? Bitch is crazy, Nicholas.”
The thought of her possibly lying doesn’t occur to me. No one’s desperate enough to lie about an illness. But they’re right. I haven’t been going to the appointments and maybe I should.
When Emma and I get home, Jamie’s in the living room, watching TV. I tell Emma to head upstairs and get ready for bed. As she walks in the living room, Jamie’s eyes meet mine. She looks pale and has a bowl of broth on the coffee table with a cup of tea.
“How are you feeling? Can I get you anything?”
“I’m all right. Just took some meds, feeling tired.”
“So I was thinking...” I look at her, studying her body and expression. “Do you want me to start coming with you to your appointments? I think I should be there with you.”
A smile forms on her face, “I’d love for you to come along with me. I have one Tuesday afternoon.”
“I’ll meet you at the hospital.”
Tuesday afternoon, I pull my car into a parking spot at the hospital. Jamie texted me, letting me know she’d meet me in the front. I send a quick message to Karly, letting her know where I am.
Slowly getting out of the car, I head inside and find Jamie waiting for me. She gets up from the chair, loops her arm through mine, and we walk to her doctor’s office.
“You okay?” She nods, not saying too much. “Dr. Toscano wants to up my meds, so today shouldn’t be too bad.”
“It’ll be all right. We’ll get through this together.” She kisses my cheek and lets out a sigh.
Stepping into Dr. Toscano’s office, my mouth drops.
“Jensen?”
“Nicholas?”
“You two know each other?” Jamie asks, looking at the both of us.
“He was dating Karly.”
“Was?” He looks at me incredulously. “Still am.”
I scoff, “Okay. You should look into that.”
“Can we focus on me, please? Hello, the one with cancer!”
“I’m sorry,” we both say. I pull out the chair and Jamie sits down. We listen to Jensen talk about different options of medication and a few trials. Jamie doesn’t want to risk her health anymore and opts for the higher doses of medication. He reviews her test with us and estimates a matter of months, like Jamie said.
“Jensen? I thought you were a surgeon? Are you specializing in cancer now?” I look at him, waiting for an answer. I may not know about medical shit, but I know that if you�
�re a surgeon, you focus on that.
“You’re right, Nicholas, but I was contacted to see if we can remove the cancer and, since we can’t, we’re exploring different options to prolong her life. Isn’t that important? Shouldn’t we focus on that and not my credentials?”
Fucking cocksucker. “I was just asking.”
He looks at Jamie and goes on about the different options. This is real. I knew she wouldn’t lie about having cancer.
JENSEN’S ASLEEP NEXT TO ME. I want to wake him up and yell and scream. He’s Jamie’s fucking doctor and didn’t tell me. I think about the grocery store when he saw her and he acted as if he didn’t know her. What the F is going on?
Nicholas isn’t happy that I haven’t broken up with Jensen. To be honest, I’m not sure how to.
When he came into my room this morning, I made an excuse and told him I wasn’t feeling good, so I made my way to the living room and lay there, thinking. I had to break it off with him, but after hearing that he’s Jamie’s doctor really pisses me off. Before I do anything, I need to know the truth.
I poke his side and keep poking until he wakes up. He stirs in his sleep and slowly opens his eyes.
“Babe?”
“When were you going to tell me you were Jamie’s doctor?”
“Really, babe? It’s confidential.”
“And?”
He shakes his head. “I’m not doing this at,” he looks at his watch, “nine in the morning. Babe, I just got back after pulling a seventeen-hour shift. I’m exhausted, all right?”
“Don’t get snippy with me!”
“Don’t,” he snaps at me. “You’re getting mad? Because I find it funny that you’re always with your ex. Do you not want to be with me?”
Oh shit. Cheating on Jensen wasn’t in the plans. I look down at the ring resting on my chest. I told Nicholas I can’t wear it around anyone else except our family, not yet. This ring means everything to me.
Taking a deep breath, I realize I have to tell him what’s going on. “You’re right. We always are. And things are getting complicated. Since you know what’s going on anyways, Jamie’s dying and Nicholas asked me to marry him. I said yes.”
