by S. Moose
“Really?” I nod. “And you weren’t going to tell me?”
“I’m sorry.” Feeling like an idiot, I can’t look in his eyes. I’m hurting him just like Nicholas hurt me. “I’m sorry. I know you wanted more. I know you wanted to be exclusive. But Nicholas is my whole life.”
“I see.” Jensen gets up from the bed and stalks to the bathroom. When he shuts the door, I grab my phone and text Nicholas.
Me: I told him about us.
Nicholas: And?
Me: Obviously, he’s pissed, Nicholas.
Nicholas: Who cares? You’re my fiancée and I’m tired of having you be with him. Break it off with him.
Me: Can you stop being a dick for two seconds? I’m not sitting here asking you to divorce Jamie.
Nicholas: Different situations, baby.
Me: Hardly. Anyways, I think he’s coming out of the bathroom. I’ll text you later.
Nicholas: What do you mean, he’s coming out of the bathroom. Does he spend the night?
Well, looks like that’s a conversation I’ll be having with him later. Oh, fuck my life.
When Jensen comes out of the bathroom, showered and in a pair of shorts and a shirt, he walks my way and sits down on the floor in front of me.
“So I take it we’re over?”
I sigh. “I hate that this is happening and I am sorry. You’re a great guy, Jensen. You made me smile.” I sit down on the bedroom floor next to him. “You’re going to make a lucky girl so happy. I wish it could’ve been me, but my heart’s with Nicholas.”
Pushing himself against the wall, he slowly falls down to the ground. “I was starting to fall in love with you. I wanted a future with you, Karly. How can you do this to me? What did I do wrong?”
Running over to him, taking him in my arms, I feel like an asshole. I know what it’s like to have your heart pulled out of your chest and I’m doing the same thing. “I’m so sorry, Jensen.” I kiss his forehead. “You’re a good man. One of the best men I know. But I can’t keep doing this to you. Cheating on you and lying about where I am. You deserve someone who can give their all to you. Someone who appreciates you.”
“I get it. I hope we can be friends?” The look of fear shows in his eyes. Jensen, powerful and sexy Jensen, always so confident and in charge, now looks like a child waiting for an answer.
“Of course.” I lean over, kissing his cheek.
“All right, well, get your ass up. Time for a work out!”
Today’s Nicholas’ and Emma’s birthdays. Sitting in my car outside their house, I have another internal battle – whether I should go inside or not. Throwing my head back against the headrest, I close my eyes and get the courage I need to head inside. Nicholas wants me here and said if it’s too much, I can leave. I want to be strong and stand my ground. He loves me and he’s with Jamie to give her peace. Everything’s going to work out.
Slowly, I take my time to walk to their backyard where the party is being held.
My stomach starts twisting and turning. I place my hand on the side of the house and take deep breaths. I’ve been feeling sick for the past few days. I’ve been throwing up every morning and staying in bed. The sickness is on and off, but it’s getting worse. I’m not sure what’s going on and figure it’s the stress and exhaustion that’s getting to me.
After a few minutes, the pain subsides and I’m walking again. The deck is filled with balloons and there’s a bounce house on the far side of the house. There are kids in the pool and people mingling around. The yard is decorated with pink balloons. I look over at the table and see it is full of presents and two birthday cakes – one for Nicholas and one for Emma. I hate that I wasn’t part of their birthdays. I wish it were me planning the parties and decorating.
Nicholas was supposed to come over last night, but was tied up with Jamie. She was sick and he couldn’t leave her side. I texted him at midnight, wishing him a happy birthday, but he never responded. I lay in bed, staring at my phone, wishing he said something…anything.
This is my life now. I have to go around Jamie’s schedule and whether or not she’s feeling good. I shouldn’t be this cruel. I mean, the woman is dying, for goodness sakes. A part of me can’t help it. Honestly, it’s sad that she’s dying, but she’s the dagger in our lives.
“Karly!” Lexi and Patricia come over to me and we hug. “You got this, okay?” I nod. I can do this. Lexi holds my hand as we walk into the crowds of people. There are so many familiar faces and I’m starting to feel better.
His eyes are on me. I can feel him. My breathing quickens along with the beating of my heart. You can do this, Karly. Keep a smile on your face and hold it together.
Turning around, I see Nicholas and Emma walking towards me. Everything freezes and our eyes are on each other. It feels like home again, standing before the two people I love with all my heart. Her smile meets her eyes as Nicholas keeps his eyes on me. The love grows and my heart beats faster with each second that passes. We’re here, together, and I’m not sure what to say.
“Happy birthday, babe.” I take his hand and quickly look around. This is for us. I’m here for them. “And happy birthday to my Princess.” Placing my hand on Emma’s cheek, I say, “I have your presents on the table. I hope you like them.”
“Thanks, Mommy. I’m glad you’re here.” She places her hand on mine and reaches out for me. I bring her in my arms and hold her tight. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” I look at Nicholas as the words come out from my mouth. He smiles, knowing I meant those words for him too because, no matter what, I’m always going to love Nicholas Landon Hayes. He’s going to be my husband and soon we can move on from the mess that’s been plaguing our lives.
“Hi, Angel.” His deep, husky voice resonates through my body. I take a few calming breaths and remember I have Emma in my arms, so launching into his won’t be a good thing. I look into his eyes and smile.
“Karly, you’re here. Welcome.” And there’s the voice that’s tearing us apart. The knife that’s pushing deeper in our hearts and won’t let go until everyone’s miserable.
“Hi, Jamie,” I coolly respond. I got this, I think. “The party looks great.” She wraps her arm around Nicholas’ waist and I see the pained look in his eyes. I slightly tilt my head to the side and study him. He doesn’t want her touching him. He wants me. ME! It takes so much of me not to freak out, but I have to remember this is his wife. I’m really the other woman in their eyes, but I’m not. Jamie’s for show and I’m the real thing. I’ll always be the real thing.
“Anything for my family.” She smiles, excusing herself and pulling Nicholas away. The way she says “my family” makes me sick. Crazy ass, ugh. “Jensen’s over there. You should go see him.” She turns and winks before leaving me alone.
I watch her making her rounds, her arm never leaving Nicholas’. She’s marking her territory and pushing me away.
“I love you,” I whisper, watching him walk away. I turn around and Jensen’s behind me with an unreadable expression on his face.
“You’re an amazing woman, Karly.” He leans in and kisses my forehead.
The hairs on my arms stand and I know Nicholas is watching us. I slowly turn my head and see his heated stare. Oh shit, he’s not happy. We still haven’t talked about Jensen and his sleepovers. Let’s add another argument to the never-ending list.
“Come on.” He pulls me to our friends. The conversation is light and comical. Everyone’s having a great time and I’m focusing on my best friends and Jensen. I need to ignore Nicholas and Jamie or else I’ll never have a good time. I have to bite back my emotions and put on a happy face. As much as this is killing me, I know I’m the one he’s thinking of and the one he truly wants.
“Karly!” I turn around and see Stephen and his sister, Lisa, striding over to us.
“Hey, Stephen!” I raise my hand, waving. Lisa and I hug and it’s great to see her. We only talked a few times, but she’s a sweetheart and a female version of St
ephen.
He picks me up and spins me around in the most ridiculous manner. “How are you?”
“Ahhh shit girl I’m good.” He puts me down, look at me. “Damn you look good,” I slap his arm throwing my head back laughing. “Oh side note, I’m Team Karly all the fucking way, babe. Don’t worry; he’ll realize how stupid he is soon.” I hug Stephen tighter, resting my head on his shoulder. A fit of giggles releases from my lips.
“Thanks, Stephen,” I tell him, “you look good!”
“Thank God you’re back, though. Dealing with Nicholas and his broken ass wasn’t fun.” Larry’s head pops up and he nods.
“He was a raging bitch on his period,” Larry says. “Girl, you cannot leave ever again.”
Everyone at the table raises their glasses and chants my name. My face is turning red, but I can’t help but smile. It feels good knowing I didn’t screw up too badly by leaving the first time.
Lisa pushes my shoulder. “Way to disappear and not tell me!”
Lisa and I met a few months ago when we were at the bar. We hit it off and she’s really awesome. It sucks she’s still in school and is gone most of the time. We haven’t talked in a while.
I feel bad for not keeping her up to date about Nicholas and me. “Ahhhh, I’m sorry! I know you’re busy with school and I didn’t wanna bother you!”
“Please, you’re fine. But it’s good to see you! Team Karly.” Lisa raises her fist and we bump. “So, Jensen,” she looks at him then back at me, “are you two done?”
What! No! Lisa and Jensen?
“Go for it.” I wink. “Everyone deserves a chance to be happy.”
“I missed you, girl,” Stephen says, placing his arm around my shoulder. “Seriously, don’t disappear again. I think if you were gone longer, Nicholas would’ve killed us all. Damn, he was bad to deal with.”
I hate hearing about Nicholas being upset with my absence. I know he didn’t handle it well with the text messages, but hearing it from his best friends doesn’t make me feel better.
“I’m not leaving again. I promise.” And I mean it. Wilmington is my home and I plan on staying here with the people that mean the world to me.
“Good! All right! Shots, everyone!”
Lexi nods her head in the direction of the house and we head inside.
“How you holding up?”
I sigh, leaning into the counter. “It’s okay, I think. Seeing him with Jamie isn’t easy, though. Y’all are making it easy for me.”
“I seriously love that the South is working wonders for you,” she jokes.
“Funny, ha ha ha.”
Larry comes in and places his arm around Lexi. “So,” she starts to say with a smile on her face, “I know this is kinda crappy timing, but we wanna tell you the news!”
“What’s going on?”
“We’re having a boy! Kayden Michael Gibson. And we want you to be his godmother! And we’re getting married and I want you to be my maid of honor!”
“Godmother? Maid of honor! Oh my God!”
Lexi smiles. “Larry and I want you to be part of Kayden’s life and part of our big day. We love you, Karly, and I know that things with my brother aren’t ideal, but that doesn’t matter. You’re my best friend and I love you to death.”
I grab her hand and smile. This is what I needed to get my mind off Nicholas. Focusing back on my two best friends, I smile and nod my head. “I’d be honored.” Lexi squeals, hugging me and thanking me.
“How far along are you?”
“Eighteen weeks!”
“Oh my God! Already?”
Lexi nods happily. “We’re so happy and things are going okay. We had a few scares, but the doctor says Kayden’s doing well.”
Guilt sinks in. I haven’t been a good friend, and that’s changing. I’m not going to let anyone down. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”
“You’re here now and that’s all that matters. Don’t worry okay? Kayden and I still love you!”
Lexi goes on and tells me more about her pregnancy and the wedding. When they found out the sex, Larry cried and we laughed. As soon as they found out there were having a boy, Larry got on one knee and asked Lexi to be his wife. All in one day, they have a day that they’ll never forget. Both of them cried and Larry promised to be the best man he could be. I can’t imagine muscular, manly Larry crying, but it’s cute. I’m happy to hear that they’re having a boy and everything’s all right.
We head back outside to join the party and, instantly, the smell of food hits my nose and I feel incredibly dizzy and sick. My feet are frozen and I can’t move. Tipping my head forward, I count to ten and slowly breathe in and out.
“Karly?” Larry asks, placing his hand on my back. “You okay?”
I put my hand up and give it a few more seconds. “Yeah, good. Just feeling kinda sick. I’ll be right back.” I head to the bathroom and lean against the sink, splashing cold water on my face. My stomach starts churning and soon my head is in the toilet bowl. My body is shaking and I can’t seem to stop throwing up. This sucks, of all days and where I am. The bitterness seeps in and I try so hard to let it go. Standing in the bathroom, which I decorated, truly sucks. Leaning against the wall, I bring my knees up to my chest and place my head down. Tears attack my eyes. I can’t do this alone anymore. I can’t be without him. He needs to know that whatever the reason for him leaving me, no matter what, I’ll wait for him.
Getting tired of sitting on the bathroom floor, I get up and wash my face and rinse my mouth. Ugh, I look like death. I wash my face with cold water and head back to the party. Hands grab me and I’m pushed against the side of the house.
“Angel.”
“Nicholas.” Before either of us can say anything else, his lips touch mine and I melt in his arms. I tremble in his arms, but he’s holding on to me so tight, afraid to let me fall. Kissing him feels good and exactly what I need. His hand greedily slides up my thigh as he quickly moves my panties to the side, sinking two fingers in me. I gasp and moan in his mouth.
“Always ready for me, Angel. I know you need me like I need you.”
“Yes, I always need you, Nicholas. Happy birthday.” I need him so badly right now. He’s my drug and I’m his addict. I’ll never have my fill of Nicholas.
SEEING HOW HAPPY MY GIRL IS AND I’M NOT PART OF THE LAUGHS FUCKING PISSES ME OFF. Everyone loves her and is glad to see her back. Jamie’s not too impressed, since she’s not getting the attention she wants.
I stare at the mess that’s in front of me. I should be with Karly, not here with Jamie. I hate myself and what I’m doing to her. All of this could have been prevented if I were honest from the start.
“Don’t hurt her.”
Jensen steps next to me, gathering food on his plate. Who the fuck does he think he is? He’s known her for a few weeks. “Thanks for the warning, bro, but I’m good. I’m sure she told you what’s going on and you know what’s up with Jamie, so your warning isn’t necessary.”
“What you’re doing is fucking shitty,” he hisses. “She deserves better. Someone who can love her the way she needs to be loved.”
What the fuck? Am I seriously standing here, listening to Cocksucker warn me and give me advice on my fucking fiancée? “I know exactly what I’m doing, so don’t worry. She understands the situation and she still said ‘yes,’ so I think I got it, bro.”
“Better hope it works out for you.”
I need to get the hell away from him before I ruin my daughter’s birthday. Finishing my beer, I see Karly walking out of the house. I look for Jamie and find her in a deep conversation with friends. This is my chance. I need her. Now.
As soon as she’s in my arms, I push my lips onto hers and feel her need for me. God, she feels so good in my arms. I quickly push her sexy dress aside and plunge my fingers in her.
“Always ready for me, Angel. I know you need me like I need you.”
“Yes, I always need you, Nicholas. Happy birthday.”
“Karly,” I whisper, rubbing my thumb against her hot clit. Karly grips me tighter, softly moaning, wanting more. “You’re incredible. God, I fucking love you.” Her breathing is heavy and I can tell she’s ready to come. But I’m not ready to let go her yet. She’s driving me crazy with her sexy moans. I’m ready to come in my shorts. Fuck.
“Come. Now,” I tell her and feel her body letting go.
She whimpers against my chest and I feel her tears. “Angel?”
“It’s so hard seeing you with her. I know…I know that it’s for show, but it still doesn’t make it easy. I wanted to decorate the house and make breakfast for you and Emma. I wanted you to text me when I texted you at midnight. I’m sorry; I just want more.”
Cupping her face, I kiss her forehead, nose, and lips. “I know and I love you so much for doing this. Just give it more time, okay?” She nods. “I love you, Angel.”
“I love you too. So much.”
We share one more kiss before I let her go. When I start walking, Jamie comes around the corner and, fuck, she’s not happy.
“Really? At the birthday party? You couldn’t keep your damn pants on!”
“Be. Quiet,” I order her. “No one saw us and we’re fine. Do not start making demands. I am in this fucking mess and I’m not complaining. I’ve been giving you everything you need.”
“Well, I’d like for my husband to come join us so we can blow out the candles on your cake.” With that being said, she grabs my hand and we put smiles on our faces, ready to face our family and friends again.
The party ends with a bang. Everyone had a great time and Emma’s knocked out. It feels good to be around everyone and to see my Angel. She still takes my breath away and, as guilty as I feel, I’m glad she understands what’s going on.
Jamie comes to the kitchen and glares at me. “What the hell was all that for, Jamie?” After an exhausting day, all I want to do is sleep, but Jamie’s actions and the shit she did piss me off.
“We’re married, Nicholas, just in case you forgot. You promised to help me and get me through this. I hate seeing you and Karly so happy. I’ll be gone soon, so can you give me some of your attention.”
