When the Night Comes

by Teegan Loy

  “Hello?” Lindy shouted.

  “In the kitchen,” I yelled back.

  She was wearing a subdued black dress that matched the look on her face. I sighed and shut Skye’s journal. It was time to formally say goodbye to my mother.

  “You look nice,” I said, offering a sad smile.

  She straightened my tie and leaned into me for a few seconds.

  I picked up the guitar and tossed my suit jacket over my shoulder. When I didn’t see the limo, I paused.

  “I used my charms and got out of it. We’re going in my car,” she said.

  “Thanks, darling. I don’t need to announce my arrival.”

  “Do you know what you’re singing?”

  I shrugged. “Mama will let me know what she wants to hear. I’m hoping it’s something totally inappropriate.”

  She snickered. “You should play —⁠”

  “Shut it, you,” I said, placing my hand over her mouth. “Don’t put a song in my head.”

  We climbed into her car and she dug in her bag. “You’re supposed to read this. She handed me another letter with my name on it.

  “Ugh. now?” I groaned.

  “Hey, I’m just following orders. You cannot blame the messenger.”

  “Fine.” I ripped open the letter as if it was on fire.

  Dear Tyler,

  I know you’re feeling pretty low right now, and you’re probably being pulled in fifty different directions. I want you to know there’s only one route for you to find, and that’s the way of your heart. Look inside and find your way home, baby. Remember, none of us ever knows when our time is up. Don’t waste your life on anger and other trivial things. Let the bad stuff dissolve and go after the good things.

  No matter what you choose, as long as you’re truly happy, take the chance. I promise it will be worth it.

  Love Always,

  Mama

  “Can she read my mind? I was thinking about my anger this morning and I’m really tired of it. It’s hard work to stay pissed off all the time.” I jammed the letter into my back pocket.

  When we pulled into the parking lot, it started to drizzle. I grabbed the guitar and dashed toward the doors.

  “Hey,” Lindy shouted. “I forgot something.”

  She rolled up the window and peeled out of the lot before I could say anything. I threw my hands up in the air and ducked inside the church, where I was immediately assaulted by the sound of a piano. The notes wove through the air, encasing me in a sadness that touched my soul.

  I peered around the corner and saw Skye seated at the baby grand, caressing the keys. Being as quiet as I could, I slid into a pew to listen. A soft light illuminated his face and highlighted the dark circles under his eyes. He was lost in the music. I’d always loved to watch him play. I’d never told him I used to sneak into the music room at school to watch him practice. The music he pulled from the instrument was always intoxicating and very erotic. And then he started to sing, something he rarely did, and I disappeared into his voice.

  He sang of a pain so deep, it had scarred his soul. A small part of me wondered who he was thinking about as he sang. If I looked far enough inside my heart, there was a small spark that hoped it was me.

  When the song ended, Skye’s shoulders sagged, and I was pretty sure tears were slipping down his cheeks.

  “Susan,” he said. “I know you’re here. I can feel you.”

  I leaned forward, knowing I shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but I couldn’t move.

  “I’ve tried talking to him, but he hates me. I can’t even blame him. I hate me too. I just don’t have the strength to fight with him. I know you told me that it would be worth it, but I don’t think good will ever come of it. I’m going to let him go. I came today because you asked and because I need to say a proper goodbye to you. Gavin told me my dad let you know I was out in the yard that evening. I really wanted to come inside.” He choked and quietly shut the lid of the piano. “Just so you know, thank you, for everything you did for me. You saved me when I thought I wasn’t worth anything. I’m still not totally convinced, but thanks for taking the time.”

  He lowered his head and angrily wiped the tears with the back of his hand. For years, I thought of him as an uncaring bastard with no heart at all. It was difficult to see him this way. I thought I’d be rejoicing because he was suffering. Instead, my stomach twisted in knots and my heart beat fast against my ribs like it was trying to escape. Seeing him in pain was supposed to fix me, make me feel vindicated.

  I took a breath and studied him as he stood and ran his fingers over the top of the piano. Even though he was thinner and incredibly pale, he was still a sight to behold.

  He fiddled with his tie, and I took that moment to sneak out of the sanctuary, where I ran into Gavin and Ashley.

  “We’re supposed to go downstairs before people start coming,” Ashley said.

  I nodded and followed them into a small room where the pastor was seated. She hugged Gavin and Ashley but only patted my shoulder. They talked about Mama, but I tuned out. When Ashley grabbed my hand, a sick feeling rose up in my throat.

  “Don’t forget to breathe, Tyler. Mama wouldn’t want you to puke all over yourself. This is her moment.”

  I looked into my sister’s beautiful eyes and almost lost my shit.

  “What?” I muttered.

  She shrugged and then started to laugh. It rang out loud and true, and I knew Mama was smiling down on us. Gavin was red-faced and apologized to the pastor, but she grinned and I knew things were going to be okay.

  “Don’t look at me,” I said to Ashley.

  “Then go sing,” she said. “And let Mama hear you.”

  She whirled away and dragged Gavin up the stairs and into the sanctuary. The pastor recited some scripture, talked a little about Mama, and then gestured to me. The entire congregation shifted in their seats and turned to stare. I ignored them and decided to sing a bluesy version of “Amazing Grace.”

  Instead of sitting, I walked around the church belting out the song. When I was rounding home with the last verse, I focused on the people who were here to pay their respects to Mama and my family.

  Ashley leaned against Gavin, his nose buried in her hair. Lindy had her eyes closed, swaying to the music with tears running down her face. Dr. Olsen was seated a few rows back amid throngs of people I didn’t know. I suddenly realized who I was really looking for wasn’t there.

  I completed the traditional hymn and immediately launched into a song that I’d played the night she passed away.

  “And so it goes, Mama,” I murmured at the end of the song.

  With a glance toward the heavens, I lifted the guitar over my head and leaned it against the baptismal font. The echo of my boots against the tile floor rang in my ears. No one moved to follow me. I was so thankful to my family and friends for allowing me to walk out of the service.

  I’d said my goodbyes and made my peace with Mama. It was now time to tie up some other loose ends and move on with my life.

  Chapter Twenty

  I shoved the doors to the church wide open. For a few moments, the sky cleared and bright sunlight shone on my face. Skye was near. I could feel his presence. I rounded the corner and spotted him leaning against a tree.

  For the first time in five years, I actually took the time to look at him. He wasn’t the Skye I remembered. His shoulders were slumped forward like he was trying to hide his height so he wouldn’t be noticed. His hair was still a disheveled mess, but it wasn’t artfully styled. He kept running his fingers through it, a nervous habit I’d seen hundreds of times at school.

  It wasn’t until his gaze met mine that the extent of the differences hit me. The once vibrant hazel eyes were sad and lifeless, almost flat. He nodded his head slightly, and then turned his gaze toward the sky. It made my fucking chest hurt.

  He suddenly pushed off from the tree and rushed by me, accidentally brushing his arm against mine as he whispered a quick, “Sorry for your loss.�
��

  “Wait,” I said as soon as I figured out how to talk again.

  He already had the car running, so I grabbed the door handle and banged on the window to get his attention. He stopped the car but didn’t look at me.

  “Open the fucking door,” I yelled.

  I hoped it wasn’t too loud. Ashley would have my balls if I disturbed the service. The sun disappeared under a cloud again and raindrops splattered on my head.

  “Skye, open the damn door. I’m getting wet.” I finally heard the lock click, and I paused, realizing I was about to willingly get into a car with Skye.

  The clouds opened up, dumping buckets of rain, and I wondered if it was Mama doing it to get me to move.

  “Fine, Mama. You win. I’ll talk to the bastard.” I yanked open the door.

  The confines of the car were stifling. Skye pressed the accelerator and we lurched forward. I watched the scenery roll by until he stopped.

  “I’m not sure where you want to go,” Skye said quietly.

  His voice snapped me out of my coma and I realized sweat was trickling down my back.

  “Where are we?” I asked.

  “At the park by the school,” he whispered. “I can take you back to the church.”

  I frowned and realized he was as uncomfortable as me.

  “No, I’ve said my goodbyes. I don’t need the sympathy of the rest of the town or the questions I’m sure they’re all dying to ask me.”

  “Should I take you home?”

  “I need a drink.”

  He nodded and turned the car around. I sank in my seat and tried not to think about the things that happened the last time we were in a car together.

  When we passed the last bar in town before we hit the highway, I asked where we were going.

  “I thought we’d get out of Middleton Lake. You said you didn’t want to deal with anyone in town.”

  “That’s a good idea,” I said.

  It was too quiet in the car, so I reached over and turned on the radio. My phone vibrated in my pocket and I looked at the screen, rolling my eyes before I answered.

  “Hi, Lindy.”

  She talked really fast and didn’t ask me where I was or who I was with. She only called to make sure I hadn’t jumped off a bridge or something. She also wanted me to know how my singing had affected everyone.

  “Thanks, I’ll talk to you later,” I said and quickly cut her off. I stuffed the phone back into my pocket. The silence was killing me, so I blurted out a question that had been haunting me since the first time I saw him.

  “Where’s Brooke?” I asked.

  He cleared his throat. “Last I heard, she lived in Des Moines.”

  “Where do you live?”

  “Nowhere,” he mumbled.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  He gripped the steering wheel and grimaced.

  “Just answer the fucking question, Skye.”

  His lips thinned. “I’ve been in Middleton Lake since your mom got sick. We were friends, and I wanted to be there for her. I’m living with my dad.”

  I swallowed and stared out the window. I already knew he’d stepped in when Mama needed someone.

  “Didn’t you read my journals?”

  “Some of them,” I grumbled.

  “Christ.” He blew out a breath of air. “It used to be so easy to talk to you.”

  I had to stifle a laugh because Skye never talked to me about anything important.

  “Brooke is married and has two kids. I haven’t seen her in about three years. We don’t keep in touch.” He turned the car into a parking lot of a small bar with a blinking neon sign.

  “I really need a drink,” I said.

  “You aren’t the only one.” He got out of the car and tossed his suit jacket into the backseat, exchanging it for a sweatshirt.

  I decided to dump mine as well. I also stripped off my tie, unbuttoned my shirt, and mussed my hair.

  “Here.” Skye tossed me a hoodie.

  “Thanks.”

  His scent flooded my nose when I slipped the hoodie over my head, and I questioned my sanity. What was I doing and how could I think this was healthy?

  “Fuck,” I hissed under my breath and followed him into the bar.

  “Hey, Skye,” someone shouted.

  “Long time,” another person said.

  Several other people greeted him.

  “Hey, man, good to see you,” the bartender said. “Who’s your friend?”

  “Tyler Rask.” I held out my hand. “Went to school with him.”

  “Nice to meet you,” he said. “What’ll ya have?”

  “Tequila,” Skye said firmly. “And a beer.”

  I frowned and considered ordering a glass of water, but I deserved a drink. “Same.”

  We sat down at a table close to the bar but away from the other patrons. The bartender signaled Skye and he went to collect our drinks. I found myself staring at the way his dress pants hugged his ass. I definitely needed that drink.

  Skye leaned against the bar and chatted with the bartender. They seemed to know each other well. Skye laughed, then scowled before punching the guy lightly in the arm. A sour feeling seeped into my stomach and I averted my gaze. Skye returned with a tray of drinks.

  “Are you turning into a waiter?” I asked.

  “Huh?”

  I counted out the drinks.

  “Oh, Philly thought we needed a few more.”

  I stared at him because there were six shots of tequila, a bowl of limes, a shaker of salt, and four beers on the tray.

  “Are you sure no one is joining us?”

  “Do you want someone to join us? Philly already asked about the pretty blond with me.”

  I glanced in the direction of the bartender and he winked at me. I decided it was time to do a shot. Skye pushed the tray toward me, and I drank without any accoutrements.

  “Join me?” I asked.

  He readied a drink, and this time, I added salt to my hand.

  “To Mama. I’m not settling anymore.”

  “Me neither,” Skye whispered and slammed his drink. I grimaced as the alcohol made its way to my stomach. Sucking on the lime eased the burn, and chasing it with a drink from my beer made my head spin.

  “My turn,” Skye said and pushed another tequila at me. “To Susan.”

  I wrinkled my nose but quickly licked and salted my hand. I could tell he wanted to say something else but changed his mind and downed his drink. I drained my glass and slammed it on the table.

  We sat in silence until Skye pushed another shot at me.

  “To new beginnings,” he whispered.

  I nodded and tried not to think about the heaviness of his words. I did the shot and shoved the feeling under the fucking table. The only thing I wanted to feel was numb. Everything was much less complicated if feelings weren’t involved.

  Philly wandered over and joined us for a few drinks. The booze was beginning to affect me. I passed tipsy when we did the fourth shot, toasting Lindy, Gavin, and Ashley. Philly bumped against me one too many times, and I was beginning to get the idea he may be more than interested in me. When I politely shook my head, he returned to the bar.

  “I have to piss,” I said.

  Skye laughed and tried to stand. I shoved him back into his chair and stumbled down the hall.

  I finished washing my hands and stared at the guy in the mirror. I wasn’t sure who he was because he looked slightly like me, but for some reason the scowl had softened. Maybe some of the anger was going away.

  Skye was sipping on his beer, and I took a few seconds to admire him. He’d been a boy in high school, but now he was a man. He wrapped his lips around the bottle and my gaze drifted down to where his fingers gripped the neck. My face flushed as I remembered his lips and fingers somewhere else.

  I reminded myself I didn’t like Skye. He’d devastated me, but then he grinned and I forgot everything.

  I weaved back to the table and noticed my ch
air was a lot closer to his. I sat down and my knee bumped against his leg. Heat flooded my body.

  “How are we going to get back to Middleton Lake?” I leaned into him.”

  “Philly will make sure we get home.” Skye slurred his words.

  “I’m not going to have to blow him or anything?”

  Skye laughed loudly and then leveled a stare at me. “Do you want to?”

  “No.”

  “Oh, thank god.”

  I stared at him and watched as his cheeks turned a lovely shade of pink. My mind wandered and my pants were becoming increasingly tight. After I downed another beer, I announced I needed to use the restroom again.

  “Fuck.” I swore at my reflection and tried to conjure horrible images to get my aching erection under control. The door swung open as I turned off the water, and I came face-to-face with Skye.

  “You’ve been gone a long time. I thought you got lost.” His voice trailed off. “Or left.”

  I looked up, meeting his gaze, and suddenly, I was drowning in haunted hazel eyes. It scared the shit out of me, so I backed up until I ran into the sink. The room was too small and he was too close. I needed out or I was going to do something totally stupid.

  “We should drink some more,” I said and nudged him.

  He froze and shrank away from my touch. Every time I thought I’d figured him out, he changed the rules.

  “You’re driving me insane. I can’t get a read on you, and I’m so fucking scared I’ll say or do the wrong thing. I don’t know if you want to kill me, punch me, or kiss me.” He slapped his hand against his forehead. “God, I’m sorry.”

  He looked absolutely horrified, and I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped. Skye frowned when I leaned against the sink and laughed harder. I was positive he thought I’d lost my fucking mind, and maybe I had. I steadied myself by grabbing his arm. He’d rolled up his sleeves so my hand tingled when I felt his skin under my palm.

  “At the lawyer’s office, I swear you wanted to kill me. Now you’re laughing at me. Are you trying to drive me crazy?” he asked.