“What does Ted, uh, Theodore, have to say about this?”
“Theodore will be duke one day, and he embraces his duty and understands his obligation.”
I got the jab. Obviously, my father didn’t believe I understood my role or the seriousness of said role. I might not fathom the depth of such a birthright, but I was gaining more insight as time went on.
“He’s aware of this?” I pushed, knowing I shouldn’t. Ted would’ve mentioned something if he’d been aware.
“Alisa, I am very pleased, considering your American upbringing, that such an esteemed family has approved of this union, considering you are foreign-born, and Theodore could have any eligible female in the kingdom.”
I could read between those bolded and italicized lines. Poor Ted had bowed down to his father’s overbearing, controlling presence and agreed to his demands.
“I’m most flattered,” I lied, as my mind worked overtime concocting a way out of this without offending my father.
“I knew you’d be pleased. With a little more grooming, you may well be your father’s daughter. You are gaining an understanding of the meaning of duty. As members of the monarchy, we have a larger obligation to the country than to ourselves.”
How did I respond to that?
“As I said, I’m flattered and humbled by such a generous request. Please tell him so, but I’m not ready for a commitment like marriage. I have so much to learn about being a princess. I can’t possibly add being a duke’s wife to my repertoire.”
“Of course you can, my dear, and he’s not a duke yet. You’ll have plenty of time to make the adjustment. My mother wishes to set a date for late this summer, and the preparations will begin immediately. The ceremony will be broadcast live across the world. That is to be expected. You will double your efforts to learn proper royal and wifely behavior.”
Wifely behavior? My entire body bristled. I’d never been the submissive female type. More like a bulldozer who did as she pleased. I couldn’t live under another man’s thumb, especially with a father-in-law as repulsive and controlling as the duke.
“Alisa, I realize this has come as a bit of surprise to you. I apologize for the haste with which that has happened. The duke assures me his son is quite smitten with you.”
“Ted is a nice man, but I absolutely am not smitten with him,” I declared rebelliously.
I cowered at my father’s stern, disapproving scowl, hating what a simpering female I’d become. I could walk away from all this. Tell them all to go to hell and shove their endless protocol where the sun didn’t shine. But I’d never been one to admit defeat, nor was I ready to give up the princess dream just yet.
“It is done. You’ll prove your worthiness or lose your title. Those are the king’s wishes. It’s out of my hands, Alisa.”
The title I’d just gotten? The one I coveted for insane reasons I didn’t completely understand? I wasn’t ready to give up everything before I’d had a chance to enjoy my new standing.
But I’d already given up everything. I’d walked away from Gage. What could be worse than that? I answered my own question: marrying a man I didn’t love and throwing away any possibility of a second chance with Gage. I didn’t have to belong to Mensa to figure out divorce would not be an option. I’d most likely forfeit my title if I did such a thing.
What was wrong with me? I was thinking about divorcing poor Ted before we ever married.
The only man I wanted in my life was Gage, and he was half a world away.
What a fine mess I’d gotten myself into this time.
Chapter 15—Letting Go
~~Gage~~
“Did you see this?” Mason pointed at the screen on his phone. I glanced down at it, distracted, as I adjusted the weights on the weight machine.
I was annoyed at being interrupted during my workouts. I took them seriously, unlike Mason, who did the minimum to get by. I guess that’s the difference between a second-round and seventh-round draft pick. I had to work that much harder to prove myself. The rumor circulating was that the team drafted me as a favor to Tanner. While I found it hard to believe the Steelheads would waste a draft pick on a favor, I was certain Tanner had played a role in my being chosen. That knowledge put extra pressure on me to make this team as his backup, the position for which he’d schooled me.
Mason elbowed me to get my attention. I did a double take and took in the image on his phone.
“What the fuck?”
“You didn’t know?”
“How the fuck would I know? It’s not like we talk.” The caption on the image was: The princess and the duke are rumored to be engaged and have been spotted multiple times together in the past month.
“Wow, man, I’m sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry for. We had fun for a while, that’s all.” I was a lying sack of shit, and I knew it. Fun? Lis and I had more than fun. I loved her from the top of my head to my big toe. Even after all these months, she was the last thing I thought of at night and the face I imagined in the morning.
“What’s she see in him?” I jabbed my finger at an image of Alisa and some scrawny, pasty-faced guy. They were sitting close, their heads together, and laughing. I wanted to pound on something. To shout out my frustration. To deny the truth. She’d moved on without me. It had been inevitable.
“Who knows?” Mason said sympathetically. “He has a title, maybe?”
I knew the answer to my own question. Other than looks, I didn’t have a lot going for me until I collected my first rookie check, assuming I made it through the first round of training camp cuts. I’d received a small signing bonus and moved into a nice four-bedroom condo on Lake Washington, which I shared with Mason and Logan. Logan was planning on walking on the Steelheads team and vying for a roster spot. He was working out like a fiend and partying just as hard.
Next door to us lived two more guys from this year’s draft class and a brother of one of the guys. We’d started calling ourselves the Desperados because the first time we were all together, we sang that old Eagles song. The name had a nice ring to it, giving us the feeling we were somebodies instead of the lowest rungs on the football ladder. We were party central, and I was in the middle of all of it, attempting to drown out my sorrows in alcohol. I don’t think there was enough liquor on the planet to erase what I’d just seen.
“Put your fucking phone away, and let’s get to work,” I growled, no longer in the best of moods after the Alisa news.
Mason grinned at me but wisely held his tongue, probably afraid I’d chop it off in my current mood. I was an animal during the workout, pumping more iron than I ever had, running with a ruthlessness that had me half expecting smoke to start coming out of the treadmill. Nothing erased the vision of Alisa and the skinny dude enjoying each other’s company way too much. Lis had always been a player, but was I really that forgettable? I’d told her I loved her. Did I even understand the meaning of those words?
If only it was just a case of a bruised ego. Only it wasn’t. More likely I was suffering from a badly broken heart and only Alisa held the glue necessary to fix it.
~~Alisa~~
I was furious. Someone in the palace leaked news of my supposed engagement, and the word spread like wildfire. I hadn’t agreed to marry Ted, and they couldn’t force me to marry a man I didn’t love. I insisted the palace media refute the claims with an official press release, but nothing stopped the internet rumor mill. I had to escape, go somewhere that no one cared I was royalty, if such a place existed. The only place I could come up with was home. My mother was celebrating her fiftieth birthday, the perfect excuse to fly to Seattle.
I’d celebrated my mom’s birthday last night with her. Her new love interest, a guy by the name of Ben, had planned a special birthday surprise for her. I insisted they go through with their plans, and I’d spend the day visiting friends.
Now here I was, hanging out at home alone on a rainy day and staring at my cell as if willing it to deliver a text message from a ce
rtain someone. Only that someone didn’t know I was in town. I’d sworn Tiff and Riley to secrecy, and they’d kept their promise, much to my surprise.
I’d learned Gage was no longer living in the house by the university, but in a condo on Lake Washington, not too far from Riley and Tiff’s.
Before I could talk myself out of it, I headed out the door. There were two bodyguards parked in front of house. In a fit of rebellion, I backed the car out of the driveway and drove like a maniac. I had the advantage of knowing all the streets and alleys in my neighborhood and managed to ditch them.
Free at last, I drove my car to Riley and Tiff’s place and knocked on the door. Riley answered. His expression was oddly blank, followed by a slow, satisfied smile. His reaction confused me, but I dismissed my gut instincts and followed him into the large open-concept living, dining, and kitchen.
I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw none other than Gage sitting on the couch across from Tiff. His blue eyes met mine, and I was transported back in time to a few months ago when we were hot for each other’s bodies and no one else existed in our sheltered world.
The emotions that flickered across his handsome face were a mixture of surprise, pleasure, hurt, betrayal, and lastly disgust. He’d seen the marriage rumors.
“Hi, Gage, what a pleasant surprise.” My tone was polite and distant.
He glared at me, not happy to see me at all. My gaze flicked to Tiff, who shrugged apologetically. She hadn’t known I would drop by. This was all on me. I should’ve called first, but there was a deep-seated reason why I hadn’t. Gage knew it as well as I did. I was hoping he’d be here.
Gage stood, not giving me a second glance or a word of hello. “See you guys later.” Without so much as a look in my direction, he stalked out the front door and slammed it behind him.
Something inside me snapped. I’d been catering to controlling men for the last several months. I’d be damned if I’d let him get away with his rude behavior. He had zero stakes in me, and we’d made no promises to each other. Yet, for a while, we’d meant something to each other, and I deserved better than to be shunned by him.
“I’m sorry, but I have to give someone a piece of my mind.”
Riley grinned. “You show ’em who’s boss.”
Tiff, on the other hand, fretted. She didn’t like conflict and did often did everything in her power to defuse issues at the first sign of trouble. I winked at her.
“It’s all good,” I said. “I’m looking forward to this.”
Tiff’s mouth formed a large O, and I grabbed my purse and car keys and sprinted out the door.
Gage opened the door of a much nicer car than his POS Toyota. He had his back to me and didn’t see me coming. I sprinted across the parking lot and grabbed his arm. Catching him off guard, I spun him around. My anger and the element of surprise gave me strength, but my advantage would be short-lived.
“What the fuck was that all about?” I glared at him, leaning into him and forcing him to lean away or our bodies would touch. His eyes opened wide, and his frown deepened, but surprise had replaced his anger.
“I don’t have a fucking clue what you’re talking about,” he shot back defensively. His gaze dropped momentarily to my lips before his attention snapped back to my eyes.
“You’re behaving like a spoiled child who’s had his prize possession, one that wasn’t even his, taken away.”
“You’re delusional.” He crossed his arms over his chest in an attempt to shield his body and probably his heart.
“No, I’m pissed at your immature behavior.” I propped my hands on my hips and glared up at him. He glared right back. We engaged in a stare down for several seconds before he looked away.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled and shuffled his feet. He kept his gaze averted.
“What did you say?”
He raised his gaze back to mine, and defiance flashed in his blue eyes. “I. Said. I’m. Sorry.”
“Apology accepted,” I said magnanimously. He pursed his lips, and I smirked at him.
“You still have that smart mouth,” he said.
“Did you expect any less? I have yet to meet a man who can silence me.”
One blond brow shot upward. I gasped, realizing I’d issued a challenge to a man whose livelihood revolved around competition. Before I could escape, he’d switched our positions. I was the one up against his fiery-red sports car. His fingers wrapped around my arms, holding me in place. He lowered his head, and the delicious mouth came down on my lips, claiming me once again, taking what was his, and leaving no question.
I whimpered and swayed on my feet, kept steady by his strong arms. His kiss was gentle, exploring, questioning at first. As if he were getting a lay of the land and uncertain where we stood. I kissed him back and buried my fingers in his hair, elicited a guttural sound from deep within his chest. Or had I made that sound? He took, and I gave. He claimed, and I gladly relinquished. I ruined me, and I happily accepted my ruination.
I loved this man. I’d always loved him.
“Gage,” I sighed against his mouth and kissed him back with everything I had inside me. His tongue met mine and we engaged in a dance as old as time. He pressed against me, his erection hard and his body insistent. We both knew where this was headed, and we wanted it.
“Fuck me,” I growled, fisting a hand in his shirt.
He glanced around. We were in a large parking lot. The sun was just setting on the horizon. The streets were slick with an earlier rain. There wasn’t any place nearby to release my inner dirty girl.
“Your place? I’m staying with my mother.”
“Uh, yeah.” He shook his head, trying to clear it. “If I can wait that long.”
I wasn’t sure I could either. My gaze flicked to his sports car with its deeply tinted windows.
“The car?” he asked.
“Have you properly initiated it yet?”
“No, I have not.” His grin grew positively feral. He fumbled for his keys and unlocked the doors. Opening the passenger door, he helped me inside, and a few second later, he was gunning it out of the parking lot.
“Where to?”
At this point, I didn’t really care, I just wanted him inside me. “Anywhere.” I reached over and milked his cock. He groaned and almost ran us off the road.
“You’re killing me, Lis.”
He turned down a gravel road. At the end was a small clearing surrounded by trees.
“Perfect.” He choked on the word as I went down on him.
~~Gage~~
Gripping the steering wheel, I fought to hold it together. My dick jerked in protest, but I would not come until I was inside her. Lifting her off me, I slid the seat back as far as it would go. After some wrangling around in the front seats, we were finally positioned with her sitting on top of me in the passenger seat.
Only then did I find a moment of clarity. I glanced around. “Where are your bodyguards?”
“I ditched them.” She winked at me.
“That’s my Alisa.” I grinned and forgot all about her being anyone but my Alisa.
The sex was as good as it ever was, but the emotions scared the crap out of me. She branded me, and I’d never be the same, not that I had been. I still loved her, even though I’d thought I was on the road to recovery. Having sex with her was a setback I couldn’t afford, but I did it anyway. She was worth it.
When we’d both recovered from our respective orgasms, I buried my face in her hair and breathed in the sweet scent of her.
“I missed you,” I said.
“I missed you too.”
“Really?” I looked into her eyes to make sure she was being sincere. “What about your duke or baron or whatever the fuck he is?”
“He’s a viscount, and he’s not my viscount.”
“You’re not engaged?”
She laughed, music to my ears. “Oh, hell no. We’re friends, and that’s all. Our families believe a marriage between us would be advantageous, but Ted’s
in love with someone else.”
Relief flooded my body and energized me. I was in a different place than I’d been when she’d left. I had the promise of an NFL career, my modest signing bonus in the bank, and a regular rookie salary looming on the horizon, being paid more money for one game than my father made in a year. I had a future to offer her, one that would allow her to live in the manner she’d been accustomed to.
There was one problem. I couldn’t offer her a title or good breeding or any of that bullshit. I could only offer me.
“And you? Are you in love with someone else?” I was baiting her, and she smiled coyly at me.
“I’ll plead the Fifth.”
I grinned at her. I’d take that answer for now.
“How is the princess gig going?” I asked casually.
Her eyes lit up and another smile played at her lips. “I love it. I’m able to make a difference in the world in my small way, but more so than when I was just one more college student. At least now when I do something the media notices.”
“Which can be a bad thing.”
“Of course, but have you seen any bad press on me?”
I hadn’t. She’d been the pillar of proper behavior, the darling of Britain, the hottest commodity in years. Even so, she had to know how quickly the press could turn on her. It’d happened over and over again with women who’d married into the royal family. Those loyal subjects were brutal at times.
“Lis, I—”
She put a finger to my lips. “Please, Gage, I have to go back tomorrow. Let’s enjoy this time we have together.”
“But you just got here,” I protested.
“I’m sorry. I have obligations.”
I studied this woman I’d thought I knew so well, and a virtual stranger stared back.
We really were over, and I had to come to terms with the finality of it, like it or not. A chasm formed in the pit of my stomach where loneliness and regret settled in for the long haul. I would move on. I would stay strong. I had football, and I had to focus on football for the next several months. A farm boy and a princess—it just didn’t happen. Not even in fairy tales.
Tackled in Seattle Page 11
