It was time to let go.
I was hard again, so I did the only thing I could think of—I gave her something more to remember me by because I knew I’d never forget her.
Chapter 16—Princess Troubles
~~Alisa~~
Early the next morning, I snuck out of Gage’s bed and tiptoed down the hallway, skirting around a passed-out Logan and out the door. I was a coward for sneaking out on Gage like that, but I couldn’t bear another goodbye.
I left him a note, which said nothing about how I felt and, thinking back, was callous and unfeeling, totally the opposite of the emotions ricocheting throughout my body and messing with my head.
Gage, thanks for the great night to remember. Alisa
Yeah, I was an idiot. That’s all I said because I didn’t know how I felt about him, about us. I loved being a princess, even if I didn’t like parts of the job. I wasn’t ready to give up my royalness. I might not ever be. My father wanted me to marry a man of his choosing. I adored Ted but couldn’t for a moment see myself married to him despite what my obligation as a royal might be.
I went home, said a tearful goodbye to my mother, and had one of my people book a flight back to London.
Hours later, my murky future only seemed murkier. I loved Gage. I was bound to marry Ted. My father had as good as said the king would denounce me if I didn’t do as he bid. A few months ago, I wouldn’t have cared, but now I did and for relatively unselfish reasons. I could do good in this position. I could bring attention to causes that got very little attention. I could make a difference.
And I took on many causes.
There was no rest from my royal duties. Before I knew it, I was in my royal office going over my royal schedule with my royal aide. Yeah, I had tons of appearances and obligations. Many were near and dear to my heart, as I’d been allowed to handpick my causes.
I hadn’t been in the palace more than an hour before I was summoned to the king and queen’s parlor. They had several, but this was the private family one, and I’d only been in it on a few occasions. I still had a hard time finding my way in the myriad of hallways and rooms. One of my aides escorted me to the room. The butler indicated she was to leave, and he told me to wait, and wait I did. Over forty-five minutes passed before the door opened and the king and queen—my grandparents—entered. I stood and quickly curtsied to both of them, still in awe these people were my blood.
“Please sit, Alisa.” The king motioned to one of the stiff antique chairs across from the couch. I sat tensely and clutched my hands in my lap. I was careful not to cross my legs at the knee, as I’d discovered such was a no-no in the Royal Book of Rules. I crossed them demurely at the ankles.
As per protocol, I didn’t address them or ask questions. They would initiate any conversation.
“We are proceeding with the wedding plans,” the queen said with a glance at her husband. He nodded, willing to let her take the lead on this discussion. In fact, I doubted he wanted to be involved in wedding plans at all.
“Your Highness, I’m not ready to marry yet. I’ve expressed my desire to wait to my father.”
The queen scowled at my words, as did her husband. This was not going well.
“Princess Alisa.” The king emphasized Princess. “What you want and what you may be required to do in the name of the throne and for the good of the Commonwealth can often be at odds with each other. Those of us dedicated to service of the throne and country have accepted duty must come first. While you are new to the family under not-quite-favorable circumstances, we have fully embraced you into our fold and treated you as one of our family. In exchange, we expect certain reciprocations and obligations. If you do not wish to accept the sacrifices of the position, you shouldn’t reap the benefits.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.” The man intimidated me, and my usual boldness deserted me in his presence. There had to be a way out of this that didn’t involve a loss of my ability to champion my causes.
“Good, I’m glad you see it our way.” He nodded to his wife, and just like that, he regally strode from the room. I stared after him, blinking rapidly, my mouth hanging open, as I tried to process what to do next.
The queen cleared her throat, and I quickly snapped my head to focus my full attention on her. “Now that we have such an unpleasant issue settled, I have a designer scheduled for next week to go over your wardrobe and wedding dress.
I nodded obediently, unable to call forth the courage to argue.
“That’ll be all.” Just like that, she, too, excused me.
I stood and curtsied, hoping I’d engaged in proper protocol for taking leave of the queen. As soon as I was out of her sight, I ran to my room, going up the servant stairs in back, protocol be damned. It was a small rebellion, but the best I could do at this point in time.
I called Ted, and we met for coffee on the palace patio, away from prying ears and eyes. Once the staff served us a sumptuous lunch, I did a quick check to make sure no one was hovering nearby.
“The king and queen aren’t taking no for an answer,” I whispered.
“Nor is the duke. My father will be furious if he finds out I’m in love with Lady Irene.” Ted’s grim expression said it all. Marrying me was as distasteful to him as wearing yesterday’s fashions was to me. I took no offense. We’d become great friends, but we were not a match.
“Ted, I adore you as a friend, but I can’t marry you either. I’m—in love with someone else also.”
“An American? The football player?” I’d told him all about Gage and how much I missed him in a moment of weakness. Ted was a good listener and a trusted confidant. I’d poured my heart out to him one night in a small pub over a bottle of good wine.
I nodded. “I saw him when I was home, and I’m more sure than ever.”
“What shall we do? They’ve set the plans in motion.”
“We seem to have a conundrum. I’d walk away from most things royal, but I’m dedicated to my charities, and I can’t desert them. Oddly enough, my presence has increased the charities’ visibility and their donations. I can’t let them down.”
“That’s not odd. You are a beautiful, kind woman, and people are drawn to your sincerity and giving soul. You’re extremely popular with the British.”
“Until I’m not,” I quipped, being fully aware of how quickly the press and people could turn on a celebrity. “I like being a princess. Not the pomp and circumstance bullshit exactly. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I liked the perks. Most of all, I love that I can make a difference.”
“There has to be a way we can both get what we want and keep our royal standing.”
“Lady Irene is a suitable match for you. Why would there be a problem?”
“She’s not a princess, and her family is virtually penniless. They rely on the generosity of relatives to survive. My father is salivating over the idea of our family being closely aligned with the king, and the monarchy’s vast properties.”
I sighed. This was getting more and more difficult. The deeper our families were into the wedding planning, the harder it’d be to back out. If we didn’t think of a way out soon, we’d be trapped. The engagement hadn’t been announced officially yet, and we would have to act quickly.
Chapter 17—The Plan
~~Alisa~~
The next day after the meeting with the king and queen, I resumed my duties as a princess, which consisted of speaking engagements at charity events and appearances at various venues. My favorites were the charity work involving children and animals.
Much to my surprise, I’d developed an affinity for children, and they seemed to like me too. It’d all started with a visit to the children’s cancer ward at the country’s largest and most progressive hospital. I’d agreed to the visit to help raise awareness for the plight of the children and parents. I’d been tasked with calling attention to the enormous costs of having a child with cancer, costs parents shouldn’t have to worry about when their biggest concern should be whether their child
ren would live to see their next birthday.
I volunteered at the hospital a few days a week when my schedule permitted. There were children who didn’t have parents present or parents at all. Those were the ones I concentrated on. I read to them. I sat with them and chatted. I even held the hand of one little when she took her last breath.
All of these good works were publicized by the royal marketing machine and plastered all over the kingdom and the world. At first, I didn’t want any publicity. I wanted to keep my visits private, but when the hospital informed me that after each visit, their donations skyrocketed, I reluctantly agreed to being used in that matter for the children’s sakes.
On Saturdays, I walked dogs at the animal shelter, wishing I could take every one of them home with me. England had quite a few horse racing tracks, and I was also approached regarding the plight of race horses when they could no longer be raced or used for breeding stock. My list of causes was growing, and I had a hard time saying no. I’d never imagined I’d be doing something I loved as much as I did my work, as I called it.
On this particular day, I was asked to comfort a ten-year-old girl who would be getting a kidney transplant within a few hours. She had no one. Her parents had both been killed in a car accident, and there weren’t any other known relatives. I sat by Claudia’s bedside. She loved horses, and we immediately bonded. I read her a few chapters from one of my favorite horse books and told her when she was better, I’d take her for a ride. The palace stables had a collection of horses, including some docile mounts suitable for a child.
Claudia had had one transplant a year ago, but her body had rejected it. Now she was back for her second. I canceled my other engagements and sat with Claudia until they took her in for surgery. I held her thin, cold hand in mine and stroked her hair. She managed a feeble smile, and I smiled back.
“Will you be my friend?” she asked.
“I would be honored to be your friend,” I declared.
“Will you stay and not go away like the others did?” Claudia had been placed in several foster homes and even been considered for adoption by a couple different families in the three years since she’d lost her parents. Every one of them had sent her back. Dealing with her condition had been too much for them.
“I’ll be here when you need me to the best of my ability. I can’t promise what might happen in the future, but I will try my very best.”
“Will you be my friend forever?”
“I’ll be your friend forever.”
I’d fully intended to wait for her to be finished, but the palace summoned me for a dinner party for visiting dignitaries from nearby countries.
I’d have rather waited in the hospital.
A few hours later, I was stifling a yawn, picking at my food, and mustering all the strength I had left to pretend I was interested in whatever the count seated next to me had to say.
This was painfully boring and not my favorite part of being royal. Ted was present and had been seated across the table from me, but he only had eyes for Lady Irene, who was seated on his right. She was sweet and pleasant and pretty. They were obviously smitten with each other, and the disapproving frown from his father wasn’t lost on any of us.
When dinner finished, Ted escorted me outside for a little fresh air.
“They want to make the announcement next week.” His troubled gaze met mine, pleading for me to find a way out.
“Ted, we have to stop this. Can you elope with her?”
His eyes grew big. The idea of eloping terrified him. “I cannot. My father—he would disown me, but if you weren’t available to marry, he wouldn’t have any reason for complaint.”
“If I wasn’t available to marry?” I wasn’t sure what he was getting at.
He nodded vigorously.
“I’ll try to think of something.”
“What about that guy you’re in love with? Gage?”
“What about him?” I narrowed my eyes suspiciously, but he was the total picture of innocence.
“He can’t be happy with this current state of events. You’ve been raised American. You could marry him. They wouldn’t be happy, but they’d chalk it up to your upbringing as a rebellious Yankee. You’d get away with it, where I couldn’t.”
I sighed. Ted was a coward. He didn’t have the guts to stand up to his father for what he wanted, but I didn’t have the clout to convince my grandparents this wasn’t a good idea. Of course, I had choices, but I couldn’t walk away from kids like Claudia or the animals I’d been able to help.
Then my befuddled brain rewound to something Ted had said. Marry Gage? Was he crazy? Gage and I had a lively sex life. We both claimed to love the other, but who knew if our love could withstand the test of time and the demands of the monarchy. I wasn’t ready to marry Gage or Ted or anyone else.
But what if they thought I was?
~~Gage~~
I’d drunk too much last night. My Steelheads rookie class was a great group of guys, but did they love to party. I usually did, too, but I had a lot on my mind right now, first and foremost, making the team’s final roster at the end of August, and secondly Alisa. She was only number two because, by achieving number one, I’d have something to offer her.
The month of June was unseasonably warm and sunny for Seattle, and I did a lot of swimming in the cold waters of Lake Washington, right off the dock at our condo. Training camp for rookies started in two weeks, and I stepped up my workouts. I had to be in fantastic shape when I reported for training camp. My goal was to be in better physical condition than any other rookie and, if possible, the veterans. I’d worked with a highly recommended trainer this past month, and the guy was a sadist. He reveled in inflicting pain and suffering on his clients. Three of my fellow rookies also worked with him.
I ran the three miles home after working out for hours, looking forward to some lake time. When I walked in the unlocked door, my roommates were joking with someone in the living room. I paused in the entryway. Something wasn’t right. Whoever they were entertaining, they weren’t using their usual four-letter words every two to three words. In fact, their conversation was quite clean, and they were discussing—
I listened harder. They couldn’t be talking about…princesses?
“Grace Kelly was hot, and she married that prince,” Mason said proudly, as if he was trying to impress someone, though definitely not one of the guys.
“Princess Leia was a kick-ass princess,” added gruff Logan earnestly.
“And hot too.” Mason’s earnest voice rang down the hallway.
“I loved her in that scene where she was on a leash and—” Logan’s voice faded away as I realized what the fuck might be happening in my living room.
My roommates wouldn’t be caught dead talking about princesses unless—
My heart stuttered, stalled, and rebooted itself, all in the space of a few seconds. I gasped for air and leaned against the wall for support. I was dehydrated from an intense workout and my run home. Yeah, that was all. This had nothing to do with fearing Alisa might be around the next corner.
I rubbed my face, hoping the action would wipe clean the slate of emotions scribbled there. Taking a deep breath, I steeled myself for the possibility Alisa had come back one more time.
But for what?
I hadn’t taken one step toward the great room when I heard a familiar tinkling laughter like gentle wind chimes in a summer breeze. She was here.
I stepped into the open, and all heads turned toward me. She didn’t look the same. She looked even more put together and poised than she’d been the last time I’d seen her. Where was rebellious, wild-child Alisa under all that perfection?
“Lis, hi. What a surprise.” My tone was casual, and I sauntered over to her. She stood quickly. For one awkward moment, I didn’t know whether to bow, curtsy, or what the fuck I should do. She answered that question for me with a quick but tense hug.
“You’re looking good.” Her eyes swept up and down the length of my
body. I almost smiled. My Alisa still lurked under that polished exterior.
“What brings you to town, Your Majesty?” I joked, and she scowled at me.
“Please don’t ever call me that. And it’s Your Highness. Your Majesty is reserved for the king and queen.”
“As you wish, Princess Alisa.” I bowed low and was rewarded with a reluctant giggle.
She rolled her eyes. “Actually, I came to talk to you. We have some, uh, business to discuss.”
Oh, dear God, please don’t let her be pregnant. I wasn’t prepared to be a father yet. My face must have given me away because my buddies were suddenly in a hurry to get out of there.
“That’s our cue to leave.” Logan stood abruptly. “I’ll buy a beer down at the pub.”
“You’re on. Nice seeing you, Alisa.”
The bumbling idiots were gone in a flash, tripping over each other to get out the door, not quite comfortable with Alisa’s new title and persona.
“I saw that look on your face. Don’t worry. I’m not pregnant.”
I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding in a whoosh. “I, uh, didn’t think you were.”
“Liar. Would you like to take a shower first?”
“Is that your way of telling me I stink?”
She shrugged, cool and poised. Her attitude threw me off my game. I needed to shake her up a little so we could even the playing field.
“Why don’t you join me?”
She shook her head and fidgeted with the small purse clutched in her hands. Her knuckles were white, and her lovely throat bobbed slightly. She’d let down her guard and the nervousness she was feeling came through load and clear, but why?
“I’ll be back in a few.”
In a matter of single-digit minutes, I was back in the living room with clean skin and wet hair. I wore a pair of clean sweats and a ratty Tyee T-shirt, my favorite. Alisa was perched on the edge of one of the overstuffed leather chairs near the window. She didn’t look up when I walked toward her but stared out the window.
Tackled in Seattle Page 12
