by Rinna Ford
“Alya,” I heard Dr. Nichols say, making me look up from the photos.
I smiled a watery smile at her. “Sorry. It just seems so real now.” I wiped at my eyes and put the pictures in my lap.
“It’s okay,” she said. She sat back down on the stool and faced me. “So the baby looks completely healthy at 8 weeks along, and your due date is March 25.” She handed me a stack of information. “I wouldn’t go through everything today, because I see you’re overwhelmed as it is. This is the majority of what you’ll need to know for the remainder of your pregnancy.” She smiled when she said that. “Are you on prenatal vitamins yet?” I nodded my head. “Good. Make sure you take them every day. Some women even prefer to take them at night to help with the nausea. Are you having any issues with that?”
“Yes, but crackers seem to help.”
“Okay, good. You should probably expect that until your second trimester.”
She talked a little more about what I needed to know right at that moment, but referred to the folder of information she just gave me and told me to read it when I was up to it.
“So is the father in the picture?” she asked, completely blindsiding me. Maybe I wouldn’t like her after all.
“No.” That was all I said in response. She nodded her head and continued telling me about scheduling appointments. I completely checked out at that point and she seemed to know it.
Before she left the exam room, she turned to me and said, “I’m sorry if I offended you. The question is a bit insensitive, but it’s something that I need to know.”
I nodded at her. She gave me a tight smile, told me that she’d see me in a few weeks and left. I followed her out of the room and went to the check-out desk to make all the appointments I’d need for the next several months. I added the papers with all my appointments printed on them to the folder Dr. Nichols gave me and walked out into the sunshine.
I drove back to my apartment and got home before Tessa. I put my folder on the counter and went into my bedroom to change out of my work clothes. I was just pulling my shirt over my head, when I heard the front door unlock and open. I walked into the living room to see Tessa looking at the bright blue folder on the counter.
“What’s that?” she asked. I let out a sigh. It was time. I needed support and I knew Tessa would be there for me without judgment.
“I’m pregnant,” I said softly. She stared at me for a few seconds without blinking.
“What?” she asked as though she didn’t hear me.
“Tessa, I’m pregnant. That’s information I got today from my doctor’s appointment.” I said a little louder and nodded my head toward the folder.
“How long have you known?” she asked, taking a step toward the folder and began looking through it.
“A few weeks. I just wanted to wrap my head around it before telling anyone.”
“So you went to the doctor’s appointment alone.” It wasn’t a question.
“Yes.” She found the ultrasound pictures under the appointment list and stared in awe.
“I have to ask, is it Jesse’s or Brogan’s?” I sighed and sat down on the couch. I hadn’t thought that some people might think that Jesse was the father.
“Brogan’s. I’m only 8 weeks along. It’s been a lot longer than that since I was with Jesse.”
She nodded her head.
“Okay.” She responded. Tessa closed the folder, then came and sat down next to me on the couch. “So what are you going to do?” No judgment. I really loved this girl.
“I’m keeping it. I’ve been trying to get in touch with Brogan since the day I found out, but he hasn’t responded.” I took a deep breath and let it out. “I know I’ll have to raise him or her on my own and I’m okay with that.”
Tessa sat back against the arm of the couch and gave me an offended look. “Alya, you know you’ll have me. You won’t be alone.” I rolled my eyes and smile at her.
“That’s not what I meant Tessa. I know I’ll have you to help me. But I don’t know if I’ll stay in Atlanta or go to Savannah to be near my mom. That’s something I haven’t decided.” Her eyes softened. “My internship ends almost a month before I’m due and I should be able to work until then. After that, I just have paperwork and graduation.”
“Well, at least the timing worked out,” she sighed.
I let out a little laugh. “Yeah, I guess.” She started laughing with me.
We talked more about my plans as the afternoon went on. Tessa was genuinely interested and wanted to help. She offered to go to doctor’s appointments with me and even wanted to be in the delivery room. I really loved that girl. She eventually had to go to work, but gave me a big, but gentle hug before she left. I think she was afraid that she’d squish the baby.
I decided that I didn’t want to cook that night even though I was nausea-free for the first time in weeks. I wanted Chinese food and knew that Joe would be offended if I didn’t at least offer to get him some too. So before I called in an order, I texted him.
Me: Hey neighbor! U in for Chinese?
He responded instantly, which made me laugh.
Joe: U know me 2 well. Give me ur order and I’ll call it in.
I rolled my eyes, but knew he’d never let me pay for him.
Me: Large Sesame Chicken, white rice, and an order of spring rolls
I was definitely hungry. There was a few minutes before he texted back.
Joe: Ordered. It’ll be here in 30. Come on over
I didn’t even put on shoes before walking out of my apartment and over to his. I walked right on in to find Joe and Jesse sitting in the living room playing a video game.
I sighed. I didn’t want to deal with Jesse. I should have known better that he would be here too. It was his apartment after all. He was making an effort to be home a lot more, spending less time out at bars and frat parties. I hoped it wasn’t because of me, but I wasn’t sure.
There was no way he wouldn’t believe the baby wasn’t his either. I sighed again and curled up on the loveseat.
“Hey guys,” I said and gave them a small smile.
“Hey Alya,” Joe responded. Jesse smiled back at me before his eyes returned to the video game. “How’s it going?” Joe asked never taking his eyes off the TV.
“Great!” I said. “I love the company I’m interning for and you know that’s pretty much my life right now.”
Joe chuckled. He was doing an internship for a graphic design firm so he could at least relate to me on that. But I knew I shouldn’t say anything to him and Jesse about the baby. Not yet. I wasn’t ready for more questions, especially from my ex.
We were all quiet, as the guys played their game, until there was a knock on the door. Joe saved their game as Jesse got up to pay for the food. I got up as well and got us all drinks to go with dinner.
I put three glasses down on the counter next to Joe’s dying plant. His mom gave it to him the last time she visited, and I was pretty sure it hadn’t been watered since then. I felt an intense urge to touch the wilted leaves and when I did, the plant quickly came back to life. The leaves were healthy and green, the stalk stood upright, and the orange flower bloomed big and bright. Startled, I looked around to see if either of the guys saw that. They were both too engrossed in their dinners to notice, thank goodness.
I shook my head and blinked several times to make sure I didn’t hallucinate. The plant was healthier and more vibrant than ever before. I had to have imagined it, right? Did pregnancy make you see things like that? I fixed the three glasses of water and handed the guys their drinks before sitting back down on the loveseat, anxious to get away from the plant.
“Joe, I watered your plant,” I told him as I dug into my Sesame Chicken. I stared into the container as I ate, not wanting him to see the lie in my eyes.
“Thanks, Alya,” he said after he swallowed his bite of food. “I keep forgetting to do that.” I smiled, then went back to my food.
The three of us ate in silence as we watche
d TV. At some point, Jesse got up and went into the kitchen to refill our glasses. When he sat back down, he gave me a strange look. I guessed he had seen the plant. But, he stayed quiet.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Tessa came over to Joe and Jesse’s after work and ate what the guys had leftover from dinner. She didn’t get a chance to have any of my food because there wasn’t any left. I ate every single bite.
Tessa raised an eyebrow in my direction when I told her my dinner was all gone. I just shrugged my shoulders at her silent question.
“So, did you tell them?” she whispered to me between bites of Kung Pao Shrimp.
Before I could answer, Jessie asked, “Tell us what?”
I gave her the evil eye. She must have forgotten that he had the hearing of a bat. We never got away with whispering around him in the past and she knew it.
Tessa mouthed, “Sorry,” and winced.
“Nothing important,” I lied. “Just something about my internship.” I gave him a cool smile and got up from the loveseat.
He followed me into the kitchen and cornered me so that my back was in front of the fridge. He hadn’t been this close to me since the last time he tried to get me to talk to him about “us.”
He leaned down so we were looking eye to eye and said, “It seems like it would be important, or Tessa wouldn’t have asked if you had told us yet.”
“Leave her alone Jesse!” Tessa yelled from the living room.
He was pissing me off. What made him think that he could get familiar with me again? I slid to the right and took a couple of steps further into the kitchen.
“I just don’t want to tell anyone else yet, so back off! We’re not friends, so I don’t have to tell you anything anyway!”
He looked at me with a hurt expression. “I thought we were trying to be friends again. I couldn’t stand it if you aren’t in my life.”
I threw my arms up in the air in exasperation. “Jesse, what you did to me, repeatedly, isn’t something I can get over as quickly as you’d like. You hurt me deeply and not just as someone who was falling in love with you.” His eyes softened and he took a step toward me. I put my hand up to stop him. “We were friends first, or at least I thought we were. What you did isn’t something a friend does. So no, we aren’t friends. I don’t know if I can ever call you a friend again.”
His arms fell to the side and his shoulders drooped. I hurried past him until I got to the front door.
“I’ll see you later Joe,” I called into the living room. He and Tessa were both watching Jesse and me with worried expressions.
“I should probably go too,” Tessa said as she joined me.
“Thanks for dinner guys,” I told them. I opened the door and my best friend and I left. Tessa left me alone once we got into our apartment. I think she knew that I wanted to be by myself.
I went through my nightly routine as I got ready for bed. I thought about Jesse and how far we’d come. But I knew we’d never be the way we were before. It was something I could never get over completely, no matter how much he wanted me to. He really was self-absorbed if he thought I could get over it that easily. What did I actually see in him to make me start to fall in love with him? I couldn’t answer that and I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to.
I got into bed, taking my cell phone with me. Part of my routine over the last couple of weeks was to send Brogan a text message before going to sleep. I took a picture of one of the ultrasounds that showed the baby clearly and had the word “BABY” typed under it, then sent it in a text.
I waited for a few minutes before putting the phone on my nightstand. I knew he wouldn’t respond, but I still held out hope that I was wrong about him. I rolled over onto my side and put my hand protectively over my tummy as I fell asleep.
Tessa was waiting in the kitchen when I came out for breakfast with a can of Ginger Ale and a smile on her face.
“How are you doing, sunshine?” she asked me. I took the can from her hand and saw that her laptop was open on the counter. She had been looking at a pregnancy website before I got up.
“Thanks,” I told her with a chuckle. I opened the can and took a sip. It was sweet of her to get the drink for me, but I was really craving coffee. I’d grab one on the way to work. “Did you find anything good?” I asked, nodding toward her laptop.
“Yes! I didn’t know that you can find out the sex of the baby as early as 10 weeks! That’s incredible!” I smiled at her enthusiasm.
“About that,” I began, “I’m not going to find out the baby’s gender.” Tessa stared at me dumbfounded. “I want it to be a surprise!” I defended myself. “There are so few surprises in life anymore. Good ones, at least.” She looked offended.
“How is Aunt Tessa supposed to shop for her godchild?” I laughed loudly.
“The baby won’t need much at first, and you can shop until you’re heart’s content once Bean is born.”
“Bean?” she smiled.
“It looks like a bean. So, I’m calling it Bean for now.”
“I like it. Bean.” She smiled. I was so glad I finally told my best friend about the baby. I had felt so alone since I had sat in the bathroom and found out I was pregnant. I was certainly dumb for waiting to tell her.
Work went by slowly. That one cup of coffee that I got earlier in the day was long gone and I knew I shouldn’t have another. The things a mother does for her baby…
Close to quitting time, I got called in to talk to Mrs. Wilby. I immediately went pale with worry as I walked into her office and sat down. She sat in the chair next to me and put her hand over one of mine. It was an odd thing to do, especially if I was in trouble.
But then she shocked me even further by asking, “How far along are you?”
I sat with my mouth gaping for a few seconds before saying, “8 weeks.” She nodded, understanding. “How did you know?” I asked.
“There are things that all mothers recognize from their own pregnancies.” She told me with a sweet smile. “I had guessed with the crackers, and the nausea, but when you didn’t get another coffee after this afternoon’s meeting, I knew it for a fact.”
“I was planning on letting you, the team, and my advisor know on Monday. I only went to the doctor to confirm it yesterday.” I wanted to make sure I was not in trouble for keeping it from anyone.
“It’s okay, Alya,” she assured me. “When are you due?”
“March 25. I should be okay to work here until the end of February as planned.”
“Good.” She patted my hand, then pulled away. “That’s good.” She got up and walked to the door. “I won’t keep you. I know you need to wrap up your day. One of the most important things an expectant mother can do is get plenty of rest.” She opened the door, excusing me. “Please let me know if I can help in any way. We’ve come to think of you as family here.” She gave me a genuine smile as I got up from the chair.
“Thank you, Mrs. Wilby.”
“You’re welcome, sweetie.” I smiled at her as I passed through the door and walked to my desk, relieved.
Leaving work that evening, I walked down the stairs in front of my office building and turned right toward the parking garage. To the right of the sidewalk there was a short wall with plants growing on top. I reached up and ran my hands over the plants as I walked, wanting to be close to nature like I usually did.
I got halfway down the sidewalk when I looked over and saw that the plants that I touched had grown almost double in size. I took my hand away immediately and looked around. No one was paying attention to me. This happened twice in less than a day. There was no way I made the plants grow by just touching them. That was impossible.
To make sure I wasn’t going crazy, I looked around again to make sure my actions were still unnoticed, and I touched another plant. It immediately grew to twice its size becoming fuller and greener.
I pulled my hand back as if I’d been burned then hurried to my jeep. I sat in the driver’s side and took deep breaths, try
ing not to pass out. I had to tell someone. But who? My mom? Tessa? A professional?
When I had finally calmed down enough to drive, I went home. As I got out of the jeep and walked toward the stairs up to my apartment, I saw two little gray rabbits in the bushes off to the left of the path. I smiled and they both hopped closer to me.
Shocked for the third time that afternoon, I kneeled down and the rabbits hopped closer. I reached my hand out and the one closest to me put its head under my hand. She began to nuzzle my palm with her face and head. The other bunny came closer too and laid down right next to my knees. I began to pet him with my other hand. I don’t know how I knew that the one on my right was a male and the one on my left was a female, but I knew it the moment I touched them. I also felt a sense of calm that I hadn’t felt since before Brogan left.
I went from kneeling to sitting crossed-legged on the sidewalk in my dress clothes. I wanted to be comfortable and this was something that didn’t happen very often, if ever. The male rabbit jumped into my lap at some point trying to get closer while the female stayed under my left hand. I sat like that for several minutes until I heard a car pull into the parking lot. When the car door slammed, both rabbits took off toward the bushes they came from. I stared after them, in shock from the whole experience.
“Alya, what on earth are you doing sitting on the sidewalk?” I heard Tessa ask. I got up and brushed off my black pants, turning around to face her.
I sighed. Where did I start? Finally I just motioned her to come upstairs to the apartment with me. As I was walking, I realized that the calm I felt while petting the rabbits was gone. Had that feeling been coming from them? How could that be possible? I stopped dead in my tracks when that thought hit me, making Tessa almost run into my back.
“Seriously, Alya, what is going on?” Tessa asked again, walking around me and unlocking our apartment. I walked through the door, past the kitchen and into the living room. I plopped onto the couch in a very unladylike way. She sat down across from me waiting for me to answer.
