by Martha Carr
Correk sat back down and leaned on his elbows. “I guess you’re right. It just baffles me. We, Leira and me, obviously were in no place either to investigate anyone in the Silver Griffins at that time. We were just trying to stay safe and keep everyone else protected from the dark families. It’s just so hard for me to believe that something like this could happen right under our noses and we never noticed.”
Lois shook her head. “I know, Correk. I have to admit, though, that the evidence is just too compelling. The information whoever this is has leaked is too accurate for it to be anything else, and if that’s true, I can tell you right now that hell is coming.”
With that, the screen faded and Correk looked at Hagan. “Why would a Silver Griffin do it? What would they gain?”
Hagan tapped him on the shoulder and looked at the blank screen. “We find that out, and then we find out who they’re telling.”
“And what they plan to do with it. That’s the part we need to figure out, and the sooner, the better.”
Hagan nodded astutely. “I’m on it. Glad to be back in the detective business, even if the stakes are higher.”
They made their way back toward the living room, and Correk shot a pleading look at Hagan. “Would you mind taking care of Lexi until I return with the rest of her family?”
Hagan chuckled. “Of course. Anything you need. How’s my little buddy, Yumfuck Tiberius Troll?”
Correk smiled. “He’s doing well. Learned to play the guitar, and he’s probably going to start a YouTube channel or something like that.”
Hagan laughed loudly, letting his hand bounce across his belly. “Here, I’ll give you a twenty. Buy him some donuts on me.”
7
Cars carefully pulled into the parking lot of the city hall in Lexington, Virginia as concerned citizens headed inside. Town hall meetings used to be rare, but ever since the magical beings had started coming around people took notice of things that they hadn’t paid attention to before. This meeting had nothing to do with magical beings, or at least, it wasn’t supposed to be. Listed on the docket for the night was a meeting about school funding, and whether to put in a traffic light on Route 671. Of course, no one knew that Humans First had chosen that area for one of their rallies.
“Welcome to the town hall meeting. Take a seat anywhere. We’ll begin shortly.” The guy at the door smiled as the people entered.
A Jeep Cherokee pulled quickly into the parking lot and came to a hard stop, turning off his lights. The millennial inside opened the driver’s door and stepped out onto the asphalt. He straightened his brown jacket and ran his hand through his neatly-trimmed hair. Tucked into his jeans was a pressed white shirt and tie. High-top sneakers completed the outfit.
He nodded at the greeter and walked in, taking a seat in the first row. He sat through the first twenty minutes of the meeting, listening to different people talk about the importance of a traffic light on 671. He did his best not to yawn, but found the whole situation absolutely ridiculous and a waste of time considering everything that was happening in the world. Still, he could see that the people were intrigued by it, and he wanted to blend in, hoping that he’d gain their trust.
“Now, we're going to have a thirty-minute open mic session. If you wish to speak, come on up. You will be given three minutes to talk about your viewpoint. We want to hear from the citizens of this town about these issues. Who’s first?” The speaker at the podium looked around the room and his eyes fell on the young guy in the front, whose hand was in the air.
The speaker nodded and waved the kid up. “Okay, you first, young man.”
The guy nodded at the speaker as he took the stand and pulled the microphone close to him. He looked out at all the faces, then launched into what he wanted to say. “I know this meeting is about a stop light, but I figured this was a good time to ask a few hard-hitting questions that I think we all want to know about. It’s no secret, because it’s been all over the news. These magical beings coming to our planet are wreaking havoc on our lives. I’m sure everybody saw the riot in DC, where many children and families were injured by the antics of those magical beings. I guess what I want to know is what you guys are going to do to make sure trouble doesn’t arrive here in Lexington?”
Everyone whispered quietly to each other, but no one stopped him. The moderators of the event could tell the people were interested in the answer, but they didn’t say a word. The guy kept going, being polite but loud.
“If we’re going to sit here and spend our time talking about funding for schools or traffic lights, then we need to be talking about the other issues as well. They are just as important in keeping us safe from these magical beings as putting in that stop light on 671. Both are about public safety, but one you can control, and the other one you can’t. I’m sure everyone here has had moments where they were afraid for their families since the magical beings started coming forward. We hope to God that nothing like that riot comes to us here, but I think I and everyone else in this room, and in this town would feel a lot better if there is a contingency plan in place that lets us know that our government is on top of it and ready should anything happen. What if it happens when our children are in school?”
The head of the town council stood up and put his hand up. “All right, son. Your three minutes are up.”
The guy glanced at the audience, then back at the leader. “But you still haven’t answered my question. What you gonna do to make sure we’re safe? I don’t feel safe! Does anybody else here feel safe?”
A loud murmur swept through the crowd, and people shifted uncomfortably. The guy knew that his words had struck home, but no one said anything. They were too afraid to stand up against the government officials in front of them.
The head of the council nodded, trying to be patient. “Thank you, sir. We’ve heard what you have to say, and we’ll consider it.”
The young man nodded and backed away from the microphone, then headed for the doors in the back. As he walked past the last row of seats, an old man sitting by the aisle in a plaid flannel shirt and jeans grabbed his arm, stopping him. “Thank you. I’ve been feeling the same way, but you put it into words.”
The guy shook his hand and smirked, having accomplished exactly what he’d set out to do.
The town hall meeting wasn’t over, but the young man had completed his task. He walked out of the building, then looked around and saw someone step behind the dumpsters in a shadowy corner of the parking lot. He pulled his coat closed and looked at the sky as a misty rain began to fall.
There was nobody else around since it was after nine in the evening. The town was too small to have any stragglers out late at night. All the people were still inside, waiting to talk about funding for education. He hurried across the parking lot away from the streetlights and around the corner of the dumpster.
“Is it done?” The tall man was wearing a trench coat and a black fedora. Water started to drip off the brim of it.
The young guy nodded and gave a half-smile. “It’s done.”
The man pulled out a thick envelope of cash from the inner pocket of his jacket and handed it to the kid. He rubbed his leather-gloved hand down his goatee as the boy thumbed through the bills. When he was comfortable with the amount, he tucked it into his jacket and gave the man a nod.
The man took off his hat and ran his hand through his black hair. “I want you to know how important Humans First is. I’ve been part of it since the beginning, and it’s people like you who are going to ensure that things get done. How did it go in there?”
The kid smirked. “Just like you said it would. Planting seeds. There was no uprising or crazy shouting or yelling, but I could tell that the words went straight into the people’s heads. One older gentleman stopped me and told me he’d been thinking the same thing this whole time. Then he thanked me for bringing it to the surface. They may not think about it when they leave the meeting tonight, but the next time they see something happen that has to do with m
agical beings, I can promise you it’ll come back up in conversation.”
“Good. One seat at a time.”
The kid patted his pocket. “And thanks. I appreciate the seed money.”
The guy put his hat back on, and its shadow once again covered his face. “We take care of those who take care of business. Our business is making sure that humans come first. Now go on, get out of here. We don’t want anybody seeing you.”
The kid shook his hand and looked into his face. “See you at the next rally.”
The man waited behind the dumpsters until the young man jumped into his Jeep. He turned his back when the Jeep’s lights flashed over the dumpsters as the kid pulled away. Once the Jeep was out of view, the guy pulled out a cell phone and made a call.
“Zone Six-A is a success.”
8
Yumfuck put down his guitar and sat there for a moment staring around the kitchen as he munched on Chex Mix.
Correk had just left through the portal, and Yumfuck was sitting in an empty kitchen in an empty house and starting to get restless. He turned his attention to the window and saw the beautiful clear night sky overhead. “No better time to save the world than on a beautiful night.”
Yumfuck jumped off his chair, grabbed his guitar, and headed up to his room. He flipped on the lights and scurried across it, putting his guitar on the holder on the wall. He rubbed his furry little hands together and looked at Buddha. He gave a quick bow and tried to remember to live in each moment. At least, that was what he was trying to focus on during his meditation throughout the week. He wasn’t exactly sure it was working.
“Batfuck…” Yumfuck whispered as he ran over to his closet and opened the doors wide.
He opened the hidden area and steepled his fingertips in front of his lips, looking at all the options. After a few moments, he picked out a black mask and matching cape and grabbed his backpack, which was filled with handcuffs, a small baton, and a whole lot of snacks.
Yumfuck didn’t waste any time. He put on his gear and headed out to the streets, making sure to lock the door behind him. His little feet carried him quickly in and out of the shadows to avoid being seen. The night was gorgeous and cool, but after about a solid hour of combing the area, his restlessness started to return.
He made a right turn into an alley and looked up the side of an apartment building. “I guess if I’m not going to find any criminals I might as well make it interesting…”
He used his troll strength to leap and grab the bottom of the fire escape, then swung himself down the alley. He flew through the air and landed on his furry feet while singing his made-up theme song.
“Runnin’ through the alley,
I’m looking for a crook!
No evil deeds in sight today
And donuts every place I look.
I fight the crime that plagues our streets
Taking one danger at a time.
So, if you find yourself in trouble,
Never shall you fear.
From rooftops I will tumble
Singing the following jeer.
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na Batfuck!
Batfuck!”
Yumfuck landed on the edge of the shadowy alley and posed with his chin up and his hands on his hips. He cringed at the sound of a dog barking loudly. Yumfuck quickly morphed, taking the shape of a dog, and began barking back while the owner was looking in the other direction.
“Spot! No! No barking,” the owner scolded as he turned to look for the other dog.
The alley was clear, though. Yumfuck had already backed into the shadows, away from the moonlight reflecting off one of the windows. He waited there until the man had passed and the sidewalk outside the alley was clear. Stepping out, he grew a bit taller and scuffed his feet in frustration.
“Should feel good that there are no criminals, but how am I supposed to be Batfuck if I have no villain?”
A flash of light blinded him for just a moment, and he followed it to its source inside the downstairs of a townhouse across the street. He narrowed his eyes and watched as the light flashed around the ceiling and then down. He lifted an eyebrow and carefully made his way across the street to the window. He took off his cape and mask and stuffed them into his backpack, then pulled himself up as he shrank down to stand on the ledge.
“What do we have here?” Yumfuck whispered to himself as he pressed his face against the glass.
Rummaging through one of the desk drawers was a tall, slender man dressed in black with a stocking cap on his head. His shaggy dark-brown hair stuck out from underneath it, and he could see a five o’clock shadow on the man’s face. Yumfuck’s eyes widened.
“A burglar! My first one!”
Yumfuck let out an excited trill and jumped down from the windowsill. He looked back and forth and scurried to the door, easily making his way through the crack. The burglar had broken the frame of the door, so it was open about three inches. He turned right and pressed his body against the wall using the shadows of the dark room to help him blend in. The study was to his right, and he could see the burglar inside frantically going through the drawers.
Yumfuck ran his claws through his fur on his face and a proud smirk moved across his lips. “If Hagan could see me now, he would give me a badge and everything.”
The burglar knocked over a pen holder and tried to grab them before they hit the floor. He froze as he listened for any movement, then after a few moments went back to his search. Yumfuck, about a foot tall at this point, inched closer to the study, wanting to scope out the scene before he made a move. He had learned from watching Leira and Hagan that you never want to run into danger without knowing everything you can about it first.
Yumfuck searched the room and whispered notes to himself. “Big guy, but not big enough. All alone. Doesn’t seem to know what he’s doing. A rookie burglar—just my luck.”
The light shining in through the window cascaded across the burglar’s black work boots, giving Yumfuck an idea. He rubbed his furry paws together and shrank down to just five inches tall. He rolled his shoulders, then took off across the floor trying to make as little noise as possible as he ran across the burglar’s foot, startling him.
The burglar dropped the paper in his hand and looked around quickly, checking under the desk for any type of animal. When he didn’t see anything, he shook his head and went back to work. “Fucking rats! They’re everywhere in the city. Hate ‘em.”
Just the thought of rats made him shudder, especially knowing one was around somewhere. He shook it off and opened the next drawer, thumbing through the files, and pulled out a couple of folders to look through. Not finding anything he wanted, he tossed the folders on the desk and snarled. “There’s supposed to be a bunch of shit in here. All I’m finding is lawyer jargon and receipts for some damn vacation that was more expensive than my car. They told me this was a sure thing.”
A creak sounded from the ceiling and he paused for a moment, listening to determine if anyone was awake. When all stayed quiet, he looked at the bookshelf. Slowly he moved over there, picking up different trinkets and putting them back down. It was obvious he was looking for something specific, probably cash or jewelry.
Yumfuck scurried out from underneath the desk and over to the wall, moving along the baseboards and climbing into the bookcase. He smirked; he had plans for the burglar. He didn’t see any reason to take him down quickly, not when he could scare the hell out of him beforehand. Maybe that would teach him a lesson, and when he got out of jail he would stop robbing people—or at least that was Yumfuck’s hope. Being a superhero didn’t mean he couldn’t help people reform.
The burglar reached out to pick up a large glass paperweight on the shelf, and Yumfuck saw his chance. He scurried along the shelf and ran across the burglar’s hand. The guy jerked his hand back and wrinkled his nose, staring down at a tiny Yumfuck, who was growling loudly.
Yumfuck wasn’t having any of this nonsense. He wasn’t going to let this guy rob g
ood people of the things they’d worked hard to get. The burglar swung his hand at Yumfuck, who backed up and hid behind a book, snickering. He wasn’t going to let on who he was just yet. He wanted to see how far he could take it. The burglar already looked grossed out and freaked out at the same time. His expression only grew worse when he saw Yumfuck and his green tuft of hair.
The burglar shook his hand, terrified of what he had found. “Son of a bitch!”
As the burglar stepped back, his feet tangled in the wooden legs of a side table. His arms flew wide, and the table began to topple. The burglar’s eyes grew wide and he turned around, quickly catching the table just before it hit the floor. He wiped the sweat from his face and set the table back on its legs, still scanning the shelf behind him. “What the fuck was that? Oh, shit, no…not magical rats. Crap. The news said there was magic shit everywhere.”
The burglar, beyond freaked out at this point, looked at the door, back at the desk, then at the door again. He shook his head and decided he wasn’t going to leave yet. “Not yet, not because of some damn magic rat. I’m not leaving until I get something for my trouble. After all, what’s a rat gonna do?”
He chuckled and walked back over to the desk with one eye out for the rat. Yumfuck trilled from the bookshelf and jumped down, ran along the floor, and climbed the back of the burglar’s pants. He kept going, even though the burglar was dancing around. When Yumfuck reached his shoulder he grabbed the burglar’s hair, lifted himself to his ear, and yelled, “Batfuck! Drop it, and come out with your hands up!”
Yumfuck covered his mouth and giggled as he rolled back down to the floor. The man squealed and fell to his knees, babbling, “What’s a Batfuck? Oh, shit, I think I just let loose a little pee. I’ve got to find another line of work. What’s the world coming to when you can’t make a living?”
The burglar put both of his hands on the floor, getting ready to push up. Instead, he hung his head and breathed deeply, trying to gather himself. “You’re a thief, so act like one. I can’t walk outta here with nothing to show for it. I’d never live it down. Damn rat has me trippin’.”
