by Erin Trejo
“Fuck this shit, Sly. I gave you everyone that was in there. It was the same list that Lauren gave Wolf,” he says trying to talk his way out of this.
“Give him the other pictures,” I say. Gauge pulls the pictures out of his folder and passes them to James. He looks them over, his eyes widening as he does.
“No. No fucking way! They weren’t in there, Sly! I swear to fuck,” he roars. I pull the knife away, running my free hand through my hair. Taking a step back, James looks through all the photos once more.
“How didn’t anyone know they were in there?” I ask more to myself than anyone else.
“This is fucked up,” Wolf says under his breath. I move to sit on the couch, trying to think this over. Those three men shouldn’t have been there. They shouldn’t have been inside that building or anywhere near it. The thought alone causes an ache in my chest. This shouldn’t have happened this way.
“You good, brother?” Shaft asks, coming to sit next to me.
“Fuck no, I’m not good! He wasn’t supposed to be there, Shaft! Fuck! Chris was like a goddamn brother to me.” I lower my head and let that sink in. The one person who ever really gave a damn about me. I met Chris many years ago. He was new to the force. He wasn’t dirty like most others, but he wasn’t a prick either. He knew who I was, and I found out who he was. It was a mutual thing. We kept out of each other’s backyards and didn’t drag work into our personal lives. Chris was a good man, had a heart of fucking gold.
“I’m sorry, brother.” Gauge’s hand lands on my shoulder when James moves to sit in front of us.
“He wasn’t in there, Sly. Not when I was and I came out three minutes before you blew that shit, man. I counted them down. I would have warned you if there were any extras.” I nod my head because I believe James would have told us. He knows the outcome if he didn’t.
“It makes no sense. Lauren never mentioned them to Wolf, you didn’t see them in there. What the hell were they doin’?” I ask, basically to myself. My stomach is in knots as I think about it. His life was wasted. Fucking wasted for nothing! I shove off the couch and storm toward the door. I need some fucking air and space. As soon as I step outside, I light up a cigarette and inhale. This is bullshit. I need to know what he was doing there. Pulling my cell phone out, I dial one of our other contacts.
“Yeah?”
“Long time no talk,” I say.
“Thank God for small miracles. What do you need, Sly?” Agent Baptista asks. We’ve had a long term understanding with each other too for different reasons.
“I need a favor. There was an explosion a couple months back over here. Blew the entire station.”
“Yeah, I heard about that. What do you need?” He knows it was us. There’s no way he couldn’t but he won’t come right out and say it.
“There were three other bodies ID’d in that mess. Three cops from Baltimore. I need to know what the fuck they were doin’ in there,” I tell him as I blow smoke into the air.
“Jesus. You kidding me?”
“Wish I was.”
“Got names?”
“Christopher Evans, Larry Topher, and Dan McKnile.”
“Chris? Son of a bitch, Sly. I’m sorry man.”
“Yeah, me too. I need to know what the hell he was doin’ there,” I remind him. I hear him sigh into the line.
“I’ll look into it. I’ll let you know what I come up with,” he says sounding as sad as I feel. Chris wasn’t just a cop, not by any means.
“Appreciate it.” I hang up and lean against the wall of the apartment building with my eyes closed. This is all bullshit. I want blood but whose? James wouldn’t have lied. He knows us better than that. Lauren’s already dead, so I can’t kill that bitch again.
“Fucked-up shit, Prez.”
“Damn right it is.”
“Don’t go blamin’ yourself for this shit,” Gauge says seeing the look in my eyes when I glance over at him.
“You shittin’ me right now? I gave the fuckin’ order, Gauge! This shit is my fault!”
Chapter Nine
“You are getting in too deep,” Deb says as I sit at the table. I shake my head and look away from her glare.
“She’s right, Fabiola. You’ve been hanging around there for months and you have no information.” I jerk my eyes to meet Chief Brody’s. Fuck him. He doesn’t know what it’s like in there.
“You don’t understand shit. Did you want me to walk in there and politely ask for all their illegal doings?” I snap at him. He shakes his head.
“No, but you are screwing the president. I would think you could fuck better than that! At least you used to,” he growls pissing me off a little more. Fuck him! I can’t believe he would even bring that up right now. Deb looks between us confused as I shove out of my chair.
“You have no right to bring up our past relationship right now!”
“You were with him?” Deb asks with a nasty look on her face and her finger over her shoulder pointing at Mack. I roll my eyes.
“Unfortunately, and thank God it didn’t last long,” I grumble.
“Not for lack of trying,” Mack adds.
“Yeah, you tried, and you just couldn’t keep that cock of yours hard enough.” His eyes burn with hatred as he stares at me.
“Holy shit! You were together,” Deb’s voice trails off as if she can’t believe it. She and I have always been good friends, but I didn’t let her into that part of my life. You know, the mistake part.
“You had one goddamn job, Fabiola!”
“Shut the hell about one goddamn job. I don’t work for you, Mack!”
He slowly stands from his spot at the table and shifts his eyes between mine. “You wanted this. You asked for this and now you are fucking the enemy,” he hisses, each word making my skin crawl.
“Who I fuck doesn’t concern you, does it?” My eyes burn with the same intensity as his.
“You asked for assistance or did you forget that?”
“No I didn’t forget that, Mack. You need to trust that I know what I’m doing here,” I say calming my tone a little. Mack has always been a little more hardened than the others. He wants things done his way and on his time. Not this time. This is all mine. Not his.
“Fabiola,” he says my name like a warning.
“Mack, I mean it. Let me do this on my time, my terms.” He nods his head and grabs his briefcase before turning and walking away. I sit back down only when I hear the door slam shut.
“You and the cop, huh?” Deb says as I look over at her.
“It was a long time ago. It was all of five minutes. He was a waste of my time,” I tell her.
“And now you’re fucking the outlaw. Do tell, how is that going?” I smirk at her and shake my head. I won’t be sharing the details of me and Sly. That isn’t going to happen, but I do need to talk some of this out.
“I feel guilty, Deb. Like I shouldn’t be doing this.”
“I’m just going to say this, and you take it how you wish. You look…happy. You smile. You laugh. You haven’t done that it a long time and I think he may have something to do with that.” Her words ring all too true.
“He makes me feel alive, Deb. I know it’s all kinds of fucked up considering the situation, but I can’t deny that.”
“Then are you sure you want to keep this going? It’s only going to end badly for you, honey.” I lower my head knowing that she’s right but how can I not?
“I’ve hurt for too long. I lost my brother. It isn’t fair, Deb,” I say as a tear slides down my cheek. Just as she’s about to stand and come around to meet me, someone knocks. Deb moves toward the door instead, but I stay seated until I hear her voice rise.
“How the fuck do you know where she lives?” Now I’m interested. I climb out of my chair and walk toward the door when I see Sly standing there grinning. Jesus, if he would have showed up a few minutes earlier, he would have seen Mack here. Or did he see him? No, he looks too happy.
“Told you, she’s
mine. I make sure I know where my girl lives,” he smirks at Deb before looking over at me.
“You stalking me?” I ask playfully, keeping my tone even and under control when all I want to do is freak out.
“Not at all, baby. Just comin’ by to see my woman,” he says brushing past Deb. He reaches for me, pulling me to him easily before kissing me roughly. It’s possessive and I almost moan into his mouth.
“Do you have any single friends?” Deb asks, breaking our moment. Sly chuckles and smiles over at her.
“A few. I can hook you up.”
“She doesn’t need one,” I say trying to stop her madness.
“You don’t know what I need. I might need one,” she says looking him up and down. I nearly choke on a laugh but Sly smirks. He doesn’t mind her eyeing him like that. In fact, he just takes it in stride.
“What are you doing here?” I change the subject and look back up at Sly.
“Some shit went down. I need to head out for a while. I wanted to see if you’d go with me,” he says as his hands run up and down my arms.
“What happened?” I ask concerned.
“Club shit, babe. Anyway, I’m takin’ the boat out for a few days. Thought maybe you’d wanna keep me company.” His eyes look so lost right now that it makes my chest ache. Even though I’m trying my hardest not to have feelings for him, I do. It’s a contradiction I know.
“I’d love to.”
“Me too,” Deb says with a laugh.
“Shut it, Deb,” I tell her over my shoulder before looking back up at Sly. “Give me a minute.”
He nods and I turn to head for the bedroom to pack a bag. It doesn’t take me long and as I throw the strap over my shoulder, I say a quick goodbye to Deb and step outside to see Sly standing by his bike. He looks gorgeous, powerful even but when he turns to face me, it all slowly fades. He’s just Sly.
“You ready?”
“Yeah, I am.”
“I was hopin’ you’d say yes,” he says pulling me into his arms once more.
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. I wanted a few days alone with you.” Kissing my cheek, he turns and climbs on the bike with me right behind him. This could either be the smartest choice I’ve made or the stupidest.
Chapter Ten
I was shocked that she said yes. I didn’t think she’d agree to go with me that easily. Now as we head out into the ocean, I like knowing that she will give into me that easily.
“This the new one?” she asks over the wind as it whips around us.
“It is. You like it?” The new boats arrived, but little does she know, they aren’t typically used for pleasure. They are however used to handle business.
“It’s beautiful.” She smiles as I drive us farther out into the open water. When I get where I want to be, I kill the engine, grab her hand, and lead her toward the bow. I usher her to take a seat while I grab the cooler and pull out a few beers. Popping the tops, I pass her one before I sit and join her.
“The sunset’s beautiful out here. It just plays over the water in the most unique way,” I tell her.
“You come out here a lot?” she asks, when I look over at her.
“Not in a while. I need to. This is the only place where I can let my thoughts run wild and sort through them. It’s peaceful but I can reflect on things here.”
“What are you reflecting on?”
“My life. My choices. There are so many things that I’m thinkin’ about right now.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” she asks.
God, what is it with her? What is it about her that I want to keep and hold onto?
“I made some decisions not long ago based on facts. Turns out those facts weren’t right. I messed up somewhere along the line,” I tell her honestly. The thought of him, Chris, dying in there that day hurts. I never wanted that for him. He didn’t deserve to die the way he did.
“I don’t get it,” she says shaking her head before bringing her beer to her lips. Fuck, those lips are all I want right now. I don’t want to discuss how I screwed up with her, but if there was anyone I could do it with, it’s her.
“I gave an order based on things I was told. Those things weren’t true. People that shouldn’t have gotten hurt…well, they did and that’s on me now.”
“But if you got the wrong facts, that isn’t your fault,” she says, reaching for my hand and taking it in hers. That surge of power I feel with her storms through me.
“It is, though. I should have double checked, fuck, triple checked!” The growl that leaves my throat doesn’t even scare her. Is she that used to my outbursts already?
“Things happen, Sly. Accidents happen. You can’t blame yourself for something you didn’t know about.”
“Yeah, I can. He was a damn good person. He was a friend. Hell, he knew me better than anyone at the clubhouse.” Fuck, why can’t I stop the guilt that’s eating me alive?
“Things happen to good people, Sly. I would know!” That’s it. My resolve cracks at her words. My heart splinters into a million useless pieces. Setting my beer to the side, I grab her and pull her into my arms.
“I’m sorry, Fab. Shit, I wasn’t even thinkin’.”
“Don’t say sorry. You had something terrible happen to you too. It’s life. It sucks and it hurts, but we have to keep going, right?”
Pressing my lips to the side of her head, I sigh. “I suppose so. Just wish things were different.”
“Me too, but they aren’t, and we can’t change that.” Keeping her wrapped up in my arms, I glance out at the sky.
“Sun’s goin’ down. Watch,” I tell her. Fab scoots back, settling herself against me as we watch the sun slowly go down. We sit in silence long after it’s gone too. The darkness wraps us in its embrace, holding us hostage to its stillness and we let it. Both of us are in our own little world. Both thinking back on something that hurt us.
“Thank you for bringing me,” she whispers.
“Thank you for comin’. I didn’t really want to be alone on this trip.”
“Why is that?” she asks, turning her head to look up at me under the moonlight.
“I lost a piece of my heart, Fab. I think I needed you to remind me there is still some left.” When the words leave my mouth, she inches closer. Her lips caress mine in a soft gentle kiss.
Chapter Eleven
My hips sway to the music as I stand in front of the stove. Last night with Sly was magical. He kissed me, held me, made love to me under the stars. It was everything I could have ever asked for. My feelings for Sly are growing rapidly and that scares me. I’ve dropped little comments about what his club does, but he always shuts me down. I’m having a hard time getting any information from him, and that’s not going to look good for me. Yet, I play the part, although playing isn’t as hard as I thought it would be. The attraction I feel toward him is real. It’s the realest thing I’ve ever felt in my life and I’m starting to think that Deb was right. This might kill me in the end.
“You look good in my shirt,” he says in a deep husky tone. I look over my shoulder and smile as his eyes roam my body.
“I didn’t want to wear mine,” I add.
“Good thing. I like this better. What are you doin’?” he asks as he scratches at his chest.
“Making breakfast.”
“I didn’t bring you along to be my personal chef,” he says sexily.
“I thought I was here to be at your beck and call?” I tease him watching him chuckle before moving toward me.
“Not even close. I like when you’re here, darlin’.” His hands wrap around my waist as he pulls me into his hard body. I sigh and lean my head back against him.
“Thank you for last night,” I whisper. His lips press into the side of my head before he pulls the spatula from my hand.
“Don’t thank me. I wish I could give you that every night,” he says before stepping around me to finish cooking. I watch his back, the way his muscles move. The giant skull with flamin
g eyes. The words Soulless Bastards emblazoned across his flesh. With each movement, I find myself a little more intrigued by the tattoo. Sly doesn’t even move when I step closer, running my fingers over the design.
“Why the skull?”
“We’re soulless. What could better portray that than a lifeless skull?” His chuckle vibrates through his whole body.
“I don’t think you’re soulless, Sly.”
“No? Then you ain’t lookin’ hard enough, sweetheart.” I sigh and take a step back, sitting at the table while he fills our plates and walks over. Setting them on the table, he takes the seat across from me.
“Your club looks up to you.” He nods.
“Some days they probably shouldn’t.”
“Why not? You seem like a strong leader.”
“Yeah. I thought so too until recently. Shit changes, yeah? You do things you regret. You hurt people you never meant to hurt. It’s a never endin’ shit storm.” His phone rings and it shocks me that he even has service out here. He just smirks and slides it out to answer it.
“Yeah?”
I take the time to eat and study him. The scruff on his jaw, the way his lips curl. He’s gorgeous. I’m enjoying my meal when his eyes jerk to mine. Something dark flashes in them before it’s gone seconds later. He finishes up his call and grabs his fork.
“Everything okay?” I ask.
“Yeah. All good.” He’s short and won’t look me in the eye. I can’t even begin to imagine what that phone call was about. Thoughts take over my mind as I watch him without words. We both finish and I clean up when he walks back up the steps and out into the morning sunlight. After I finish doing the dishes I walk up and join him. His eyes are distant as he gazes out at the water.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’ve done a lot of things in my past, things that hurt people. I always knew some of that shit would come back on me, yeah?” He finally turns to look at me and I can see pain in his eyes. I walk closer when he stops me, throwing his hand in the air. “You lied to me.”
