Never Too Soon

by Tamika Christy

  A buzzing in Sophie’s pocket made them pull apart. Sophie pulled out the phone and rolled her eyes. It was Jabari. He had called three times since she had left his apartment two weeks ago.

  Carmen didn’t miss a thing. “Uh oh, who is that?”

  “This guy,” Sophie said casually.

  “Diga mas,” Carmen entreated.

  Sophie shrugged. “Just this guy. He’s nice, but he’s a liar.”

  “Okay. And?”

  Sophie sighed, not wanting to delve into the confusion of how she felt about Jabari after feeling so good about her relationship with her mom. “He tells me he cares about me, but he has an entire life that he hasn’t shared with me.” Sophie told her about the incident with Becky and the crucial parts of her short relationship with Jabari.

  Carmen nodded. “Ah, that’s almost the same thing I went through with your father when I first met him.”

  “What? He didn’t call you when he was supposed to?”

  “Never. And he had another girlfriend that he lied to me about. Ah, your father was a character, but I loved him.” Carmen paused, frowning thoughtfully. “Sometimes people make mistakes, mija, and we all need second chances. You never know when you will be the one who needs another chance. You would want somebody to forgive you when you need it, no?”

  Sophie snorted. “Are you telling me to forget that all that stuff that happened with Jabari?”

  “Of course not. But I’m telling you to be forgiving and open your heart. People make mistakes, Sophia. It sounds like he made a bad choice, but from everything you said, I think he cares about you. And it sounds like you lied to him about your identity.”

  “I lie because I didn’t want people trying to date me because of dad. That’s a logical reason.”

  “According to you. What makes your lie better than his?”

  Carmen was missing the point. Sophie didn’t trust Jabari anymore. He had told her lie after lie.

  Sophie shook her head. “Maybe you’re right, Mama, but it will take me a while to forgive him, if I do. I gave him a lot of opportunities to tell me, and instead, he kept lying. I have to decide if I can move past that.”

  Carmen gave Sophie another hug. “I understand, mija. Now, let’s eat! It smells delicioso.”

  Sophie was serving the garlic shrimp and thinking of Jabari, when she received an urgent call.

  TWENTY SEVEN

  Anaya sat in the waiting room at Mercy Medical Center, which smelled of antiseptic and worry despite the botanical photos on the walls that tried to convince her otherwise. Antoine sat across from her, nervously playing with the buttons on his cuffs. He stood up and paced down the hall toward the double doors leading into the ER.

  Anaya watched him. Antoine hadn’t been too forthcoming with the details, only telling her that they had been talking when Catie collapsed and started bleeding “down there.” He had called 911 and she had been rushed into an emergency delivery. That’s when Antoine had called Anaya, Sophie, and Wanda.

  Surely there was more to it than that, but Anaya didn’t want to press. Her eyes drifted to the TV mounted on the wall showing the national news. Across the waiting room, a man demanded to be seen immediately. Beyond him, the electric doors slid open to reveal Wanda, Sophie, and Carmen.

  Carmen? She looked magnificent as usual in a fitted jumpsuit and pulled back hair.

  Anaya rushed over to meet them, but Wanda headed straight to her son. Sophie gave Anaya a big hug.

  “Mamá and I were having dinner when Antoine called. What happened? Is Catie in labor?”

  “You’ll have to ask Antoine, Sophie. I think she is in labor, but it’s an emergency delivery.”

  “She still has two weeks before the baby is due,” Sophie said, worry creasing her forehead.

  “Two weeks isn’t so early, mija, but an emergency delivery sounds bad.” Carmen squeezed Sophie’s arm, and the three of them walked over to where Antoine was telling Wanda what had happened.

  “She fell down clutching her stomach, and I could see blood streaked on the floor where she sat.” He rubbed a hand over his face and muttered, “This is my fault. The doctor said no stress and I stressed her out. I shouldn’t have started anything.”

  That’s new, Anaya thought. Maybe Catie had confronted him about the masseuse and it had started a fight. She and Sophie exchanged a glance.

  “Blood!” Wanda cried “Oh, my goodness!” She sat in a padded chair and rocked back and forth. Antoine sat beside her and buried his face in his hands. Carmen sat on Wanda’s other side, gently rubbing her back and murmuring in Spanish, while Sophie and Anaya sat across from them, holding hands.

  It wasn’t long before Antoine stood and started pacing again. Anaya studied him, then squeezed Sophie’s hand and released it. She walked over to Antoine and took his arm. He looked over at her in surprise.

  “She’s going to be fine.” She needed him strong for Catie and the baby. He couldn’t fold now. “It’s not your fault. Just calm down. You aren’t any help to her in this state of mind. Calm down.”

  “I know,” he choked. “I just feel so bad. I should have tried harder to accept her for who she is. She never lied about who she was, and who am I to throw anything in her face?”

  What was he talking about? Was this about text messages Catie saw?

  “It’s hard to accept people completely sometimes. It takes time,” she said. She turned at the sound of the doors opening and saw Carl walk into the waiting room. He spotted them and strode over.

  Since getting the phone call from Antoine, Anaya hadn’t had much time to think about Carl’s proposal. She had insisted on taking BART because of traffic, and Carl had reluctantly agreed to drive his car and meet her there.

  She moved away from Antoine as Carl gave him a solid hug and patted him on the back.

  “Thanks for coming, man,” Antoine said, wiping his eyes.

  “Oh, for sure.” Carl looked at Anaya. “Hey. Are you okay?”

  “I’m good. Just waiting to hear something.”

  “They still haven’t said anything?” Carl asked, looking at Antoine.

  “Hell no, man. Just keep telling me to wait. This shit is frustrating.” Antoine rammed his fist into the palm of his hand.

  “It’s all right,” Carl tried to console him. Anaya sat down again.

  “This is my fault,” she heard Antoine repeat.

  The doors leading to the ER swung open, and Antoine spun to face the doctor that entered the waiting room. Once he saw Antoine, he swiftly walked over to him. Anaya overheard him say something about high blood pressure, baby in distress, and C-section.

  Wanda went over to stand next to her son. “Go on, son, we will be here waiting for you.” Wanda wiped her face and sniffled.

  The doctor shook his head. “I’m sorry, but Ms. Murphy asked for Anaya. Which one of you is Anaya?” The doctor looked at the group that had gathered a few feet away to listen without encroaching.

  Anaya raised her hand.

  “Ms. Murphy asked for you.”

  Wanda stepped between the doctor and Anaya. “Wait just a minute! My son is the father. He belongs in there!”

  Antoine put his hand on her shoulder to calm her down. “Mom, please, not now. If Catie asked for Anaya, let her go. We don’t have time for this right now.”

  Wanda mumbled something about ridiculousness and stormed off.

  Before Anaya knew what was happening, the doctor led her through the doors and into the capable hands of a nurse, who rushed Anaya into a robe, took her to the scrub room, and sat her down by Catie’s bedside.

  Catie started crying when she saw Anaya. Anaya was shocked at how pale Catie looked, but tried to keep the concern from showing on her face. She squeezed her friend’s hand and listened as the doctor mentioned something about the position of the baby’s head.

  “We got this,” she whispered in Catie’s ear.

  “You’re my best friend, Amelia,” Catie mumbled. Anaya furrowed her brow. Amelia?


  “Ms. Murphy, can you feel that?” one of the doctors asked. Catie moaned in response. Anaya tried listening to the doctors, but they could be talking about giving Catie a Brazilian blowout for all Anaya understood. The fetal heartbeat monitor echoed through the room.

  Anaya remembered when Ava delivered the boys. It was nothing like this. Ava had opted for an all-natural delivery with a bunch of towels and a plastic swimming pool in her living room. Anaya didn’t think it was safe, but Ava was determined, so that’s how she delivered her babies. The painful way.

  The next thing she knew, there was a sucking sound followed by a loud wail. Catie held her head up and smiled as much as the meds would allow.

  “She’s beautiful,” Anaya murmured as the doctor lay the wrinkly baby girl on Catie. Catie touched the baby’s cheek before the nurse took the baby away to clean, poke, and do whatever else they did to aggravate new babies. Anaya couldn’t hold back her emotions.

  “You did it. You are a mama now, girl.”

  A nurse tapped Anaya on the shoulder. “Ma’am, the baby needs to be dressed. Would you like to dress her?”

  Anaya nodded in happy surprise. “Of course!”

  An hour later, they had been moved to a recovery room that looked like a home nursery. Catie lapsed in and out of sleep while Anaya sat in a rocking chair staring at the baby. It was impossible to tell who she would look like, but as she lay peacefully in Anaya’s arms, Anaya noticed Catie’s nose. She sang a song her mother used to sing to her.

  She saw Catie open her eyes and asked softly, “Catie, what you are going to name her?”

  “Amelia,” Catie said groggily.

  “Wait. That’s what you called me when—”

  “Ms. Goode?” A nurse had stopped in the doorway of the room.

  Anaya turned to the nurse. “Yes?”

  “There’s an Antoine in the waiting room. Says he wants to see the baby. He’s being pretty insistent, actually.”

  Anaya looked back at Catie, whose eyes had closed again. Poor Antoine. His baby was born an hour ago, and while Anaya was in the room cooing and rocking, he hadn’t even seen his child.

  “Yes,” Anaya said. “Please tell him to come in.” Whatever happened between Antoine and Catie before they got to the hospital would have to wait. This beautiful baby came before everything else, and Anaya was not going to stop Antoine from seeing her.

  She gave the baby to a nurse and left the recovery room. On her way to the waiting room, she saw Antoine walking toward her. He looked like he had been crying.

  Anaya touched his arm as he passed, but he hardly looked at her. He was focused on getting to his baby.

  When Anaya returned to the waiting room, Ava and Roscoe had joined the group.

  “Is she all right?” Wanda asked anxiously. Her eyes were red and swollen.

  Anaya didn’t know if Wanda was talking about the baby or Catie but she nodded.

  “Glory to the lamb that was slain,” Ava said, raising her hands high above her head. Anaya walked past them all and sat down. She really wasn’t in the mood. She half listened to Wanda and Ava talk about delivering babies while Carl and Roscoe made small talk. Carl kept shooting glances at her, but she couldn’t deal with him right now.

  “Why wasn’t Antoine in the delivery room?” Sophie slid into the seat next to Anaya.

  “I don’t know.” Anaya scooted away slightly—she needed space—and checked her cell. Jeff had texted an hour ago to see if she was okay. He didn’t even know about Catie. She responded, Thanks for checking. I’m okay. Talk later.

  “What happened?” Sophie asked in a whisper. Ava sat down on the other side of Anaya. She leaned close to hear Anaya’s response but seeing Anaya’s glare, she changed her mind.

  “Sophie, I don’t know,” Anaya snapped, feeling penned in. They were getting on her nerves. “I showed up at the emergency room just like you did and found out she wanted me in the delivery room. Catie was in the middle of delivering a baby, so there wasn’t much time to chat about Antoine.”

  Sophie sat back as if slapped. “Whoa there. Misdirected anger, much?”

  “I’m sorry, Soph.” Anaya put her head in her hands. “I’m just worried about Catie, and you’re asking me a bunch of questions I don’t have answers to.”

  “I’m glad you are releasing that energy, Anaya. It’s healthy. Let it flow.” Sophie breathed heavily and waved her arms. “Release some more and you will feel better.”

  “Antoine and Catie will be fine.” Anaya didn’t sound convincing. “This is just one of those things couples go through.”

  “Yes, it is,” Ava swayed from side to side. “Jesus will fix this, and when the time is right, my Father will put those two together the right way. Not in the ways controlled by the flesh, but the ways ruled by the Almighty.” Ava closed her eyes and raised her hands high above her head again.

  “Ava, shut up,” Anaya barked. Carl, Roscoe, and Wanda looked in their direction.

  “Wait. Whoa.” Sophie leaned away from Anaya. “Ny. Seriously? You can’t shut people up when they are praying. I think its heresy or something like that. If nothing else, it’s rude.”

  “No it’s not,” Anaya retorted. “What’s heresy is interfering in other people’s business when it doesn’t concern you.” Anaya glared at her sister.

  “She didn’t mean any harm, Sophie,” Ava said serenely. “Anaya is stressed, but she won’t admit it. But God is merciful, and this too shall pass.” Ava kept her arms held high. Anaya wanted to slap them down.

  “Stressed about what?” Sophie asked Anaya, but Anaya just shook her head. This day was about Catie having a baby, not about Anaya’s problems. Anaya was stretched, not stressed. She wanted to strangle Ava. If she did, maybe a nice couple with jobs would adopt the boys.

  “I’m fine.” She saw Carl looking at her from across the room. She tried to avoid his gaze, but she wasn’t quick enough. He started to drift toward them, and she bowed her head. She didn’t want him to see her like this. Especially not after what happened in her office earlier that day. “Ava, mind your own business. Talk about something positive, like Joe’s new job.”

  “Joe got another job?” Sophie sat at attention.

  “Yes.” Ava beamed. “He did. My God is yet on the throne.” Another wave of the hand.

  “That’s great, Ava,” Sophie said.

  Yeah, now hopefully they can get out, Anaya thought.

  “Yes it is,” Ava agreed. Anaya felt a hand on her back and flinched away. “But that doesn’t change the fact that my dear sister is stressed beyond measure.”

  She was so melodramatic.

  “I’m fine, Ava.”

  “No, she’s not,” Ava said to Sophie. “That Wendy person at work is making her crazy, she’s up until all hours of the night working, and she never goes to Carl’s house anymore.”

  Anaya gasped in outrage and looked up at Ava. Carl, standing right in front of her, clenched his jaw.

  “Ny, what?” Sophie furrowed her brow. “What’s going on?”

  “It’s too much,” Ava said quickly, like she was trying to say it before Anaya cut her off. “She can’t fix everything. She wants everybody to think she can, but she can’t.”

  “Yeah, she does take on a lot,” Wanda added, walking over.

  Slowly the family gathered around her in a circle. Why was everybody in her business? All of them had other things they needed to tend to, but instead they wanted to persecute her for handling her own life.

  “She just needs a little rest,” Roscoe said calmly.

  “And Jesus,” Ava added.

  “Mindfulness Meditation wouldn’t hurt either,” Sophie said.

  Anaya looked down, trying to breathe as her family babbled on around her.

  “She’s so skinny. That’s part of the problem.”

  “Yeah, but you can’t tell her that. She won’t listen.”

  “She’s stubborn just like her mama.”

  “But she’s smart though.”
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  “Oh, yes. Yes, she is smart as a whip.”

  “Just like me. That’s why I graduated summa cum laude.”

  Suddenly she felt someone’s hand on her knee, and she looked up, ready to shove whoever it was off her.

  Carl’s sweet face looked back at her as he crouched down at her level. “Do you want to get out of here?” Carl whispered.

  She nodded, and the tears started to come.

  “Hey, I’m going to take her to get some rest,” Carl said to the rest of the group, helping Anaya to her feet. He parted the goggling family members, and they left them at the hospital trying to figure out what was wrong with Anaya and what happened between Antoine and Catie.

  Good luck, Anaya thought, and broke into sobs.

  TWENTY EIGHT

  Carl drove Anaya to his place. They slept in late the next morning until he got up to make breakfast. She sat on the sofa in the living room while he moved easily around his small kitchen. Being at his place was just what she needed.

  She sipped the coffee he brought her. He kissed her on the forehead.

  “You take such good care of me,” she said.

  While Anaya’s job offered her a high professional status, and her family put her on a pedestal just like they had with Anita when she was alive, Anaya still felt inadequate. Like something was missing in her life. She realized that for the past six years she had put everything and everyone before her own needs.

  That’s where Carl came in. He loved her unconditionally. No matter how crazy her world became, he was there, willing to give and be present and do whatever he could to make her happy. He gave her foot rubs and massaged her scalp when she had those awful headaches. He knew she was allergic to cinnamon and he never, ever offered her bread. He didn’t seem to mind that she snored and gave her the extra time she needed in the bathroom. Why couldn’t she love him the way he deserved?

  He sat across from her on the ottoman and she put her socked feet in his lap.

  “Have you heard from Catie?”

  “Yeah,” Anaya sipped her coffee again. “She sent me a text. She and the baby are resting. You talk to Antoine?”