Things Hoped For

by Chencia C. Higgins

  Hearing the tremble in my voice, Lisa's tone became soothing. "Okay, boo. Calm down, I'm sending you the post now."

  I put my phone on speaker and clicked on the notification as soon as it popped up. When the app loaded and the post followed suit I gasped. There I was, not even twenty-four hours earlier, glowing from all of the attention Xeno had been showering me with, affection shining in my eyes, biting my lip in what had been a show of embarrassment, but looked decidedly sensual in this picture. Everything above my nose had been cropped out, but my entire body was visible, down to my sandaled feet.

  And Xeno had posted this for her upwards of three-hundred-thousand followers to see.

  Tears pricked my eyes and I covered my mouth with my hand. "Oh my God," I murmured. "I can't believe she did this."

  "Alright," Lisa chimed, "now that you've seen it; you've been in Houston for two months and you already have bitches posting about you online?! I'm so proud of you!"

  Giggling, I shook my head and dabbed under my eyes. She was so damn silly.

  "I had no idea that she'd posted this."

  "You said that already, T."

  "I know but…I feel like I need to say it again."

  "Why?" There was genuine curiosity in Lisa's question and I sighed, knowing that my answer probably be satisfactory.

  "I—I don't know. Maybe because I feel like that is kind of sudden. It's like you said; I've only been down here for two months."

  Without seeing her, I knew without a doubt that Lisa was rolling her eyes. I knew my friend like the back of my hand and my comment had annoyed her. She confirmed that when her voice was infused with attitude as she said, "Ma'am, you know that's not how I said it, and you conveniently left off the part where I said I was proud of you."

  Walking back to the sink, I placed my phone on the counter and resumed washing the stones that I used during therapy sessions. "That was irrelevant."

  Instead of immediately snapping back, Lisa surprised me by not saying anything a long moment. She was quiet for so long that I reached over and tapped the screen of my phone to ensure we were still connected.

  "Hello?" I called when I saw that the minutes on the call were still climbing.

  Finally, she said, "Why are you fighting this?" Her voice was suddenly serious, all traces of teasing having disappeared, and I felt my tears rising back up.

  I didn't have an answer for her. Unperturbed, she continued on.

  "You know, I think about that visit to Mama Sari nearly every day."

  My eyes fell closed and I dropped my chin to my chest. "Lee—"

  "No." She cut me off, which was well enough because I didn't have anything to say beyond her name. "I look at my husband, my daughter, my baby boy, and I acknowledge that I would have none of it right now if that red-headed heifer hadn't dragged us into that candy store. If we hadn't humored Fallon and sat in for that palm reading, my life as I know it would not exist. Everything that Mama Sari said to me was true. Every. Single. Thing."

  At that, my tears did fall, because even though we were almost two years removed from that visit, the trials that Lisa endured to prevent tragedy from striking her family still hit me hard.

  "The thing is, T, I'm not the only one who received a reading that night. I remember each and every word she spoke to you."

  "Lee, please," I garbled, full-on crying at that point. I didn't need her to remind me. Mama Sari's words were on a constant loop in my mind like the ticker tape on stock market shows.

  "No," she repeated forcefully. "I absolutely will not let up. When I was in my mess, you made sure to hold me accountable even as you held me while I cried. And as your best friend, I am determined to do the same for you. I know you, LaTrisha Martin. You did not pick up and move across state lines just to ignore love when it parks itself on your front porch. You did not endure years of watching everyone around you get to hug and kiss in public only to pretend you don't know what's going on when your time is now. I will not let you brush this off. If I have to fly to Houston just to come kick some sense into your behind, you'd better believe I will. You deserve this. You deserve to have someone so enamored with you that they can't wait to tell the world how they feel about you. You deserve to be loved, T. You. Deserve."

  "I don't even know how to love somebody, let alone let them love me back. I'm a mess, Lee. I've been alone for so long…I don't even know how to be somebody's girlfriend. And with someone like her?! A fucking celebrity who can definitely get any woman she wants?? All I'll do is question her motives until she'd tired of me and leaves me alone."

  "No you won't! I won't let you! I swear you're about to have me booking a flight. Let me tell you what, I'll be doggone if I let you talk about my best friend like she isn't the bees-freaking-knees! My best friend is amazing! She's gorgeous, kind, a magician with her hands, and probably honest to a fault. Any woman should count herself lucky to garner the affections of my best friend! You'd better put some respect on LaTrisha Martin's name and I don't want to hear you speak about her like that ever again, do you get me?"

  Appreciation for one Lisa Sutton-Hawkins surged through me. Hands dried on the towel, I lifted my t-shirt and wiped the saline trails from my face.

  "Yeah, Lee," I replied, "I get you. I got you. I heard you."

  "Good. Now, tell me about your secret celebrity bae. When you told me that you'd met someone, you failed to mention that she was a freaking rapper."

  I laughed and reached into the basin to unplug the drain. The stones could wait. After placing them on the towel, and grabbing my phone, I left the guest bathroom and went into the living room, where I dropped down onto the sofa that I'd brought with me from Arkansas.

  "Well, I told you that I met her at the concert I'd gone to with my coworker."

  "Well, you said you might have met the love of your life and that the only thing you wanted to massage on her was her pussy."

  Tossing my head back against the sofa, I hollered with laughter. "I ain't say all of that, Lee."

  "You absolutely did. In fact, I made a note of it in my planner."

  My mouth fell open. "Oh my God. Why would you do that?"

  She sucked her teeth. "What kind of question is that? Obviously, I did it so that I would remember, and I'm glad I did because here you are, not even eight weeks later, trying to downplay the situation as if you weren't completely smitten with her from y'all's first meeting."

  "I wasn't being serious when I said that. She was—is—just so fucking sexy."

  "Maybe you didn't think you were being serious, or maybe your subconscious mind was speaking freely under the guise of a joke or an exaggeration. Stranger things have happened."

  I was quiet then, just thinking about that. It was easy to say that I was joking, but I'd never joked about something like that before. I'd never felt the way I had when I met Xeno—hell, when I first laid eyes on her up on that stage—about anyone before. Lisa was right; stranger things had happened and I was a witness to it. Lisa's voice broke me out of my thoughts.

  "T, you know what Mama Sari said. I know that everything she said to us that day was crazy; you know that I know. I was incredibly skeptical—we both were—but the events that followed…we can't deny that. And if what she said about me was true, then so is everything she said to you."

  "You're right…"

  "Of course I am," she quipped smartly. "So what will it be? Is Xeno sand or something solid?"

  It was on the tip of my tongue to tell her that Xeno was as solid as the stones I'd just been cleaning, but I bit the words back. "How do I know the difference? What if I'm just telling myself that she's the one just because I've been desperate for somebody to love me?"

  Lisa's gasp was loud in my ear. "Desperate?! Hold on."

  I heard an odd tapping sound for a few seconds and then the distant—yet undeniable—mutterings of my friend started and stopped. After two minutes of quiet, my phone vibrated with a notification and I pulled the device away from my face to see that I'd received
a text message from Lisa.

  "Girl, what is this?"

  Once I tapped the notification banner, the message opened and the picture she'd sent me popped up. Pressing my thumb to the image, I waited for it to fill the screen and when it did I burst out laughing. It was a screenshot of a flight confirmation for the following evening, from Little Rock to Houston.

  "Seriously, Lee?"

  "Yes. I am deathly serious about this."

  "Lisa. You are so dramatic, I swear. It's not even deathly serious though."

  "Letting your soulmate slip through your fingers isn't serious?! Whew, Lord! I must live in an alternate dimension where everything is opposite. Tryna figure out why I still have stretch marks and my booty isn't big though…"

  "OMG! Lisa shut up!" Flopping facedown onto the sofa I tried to melt into the cushions. I didn't need her making sense all in my ear when I just wanted to be a mess.

  "Whatever, T. You just make sure to check your schedule and let me know if you'll be able to pick me up from the airport. If not I'll see if Hawk or Boobie can do it."

  Turning my head to the side, I filled my lungs and glared at my phone. "You know damn well I'm picking you up."

  "Oh goody! Thanks, boo! Now, let me go pump for Junior and pacify his daddy with some good loving before I pack. See you tomorrow, T. Love you!"

  "Love you too," I managed before we disconnected.

  ♥♥♥♥

  When Introductions Are Made

  I might have talked shit while we were on the phone, but I missed Lisa. From the moment that we'd met at UAPB, she became my family. When campus closed for Thanksgiving and winter break, she dragged me with her to Dallas where her father and brothers were waiting to welcome me into the Sutton fold. We were so close that when her father passed away, I sat on the front row during the funeral and none of their extended family questioned my presence. Lisa and I would speak daily and had rarely gone more than two days without seeing each other. I'd stood by her side when she finally said "I do" to Jeremiah and had been in the delivery room both times she gave birth. She wasn't just my friend—she was my sister.

  My moving to Houston—while undoubtedly necessary—was hard for both of us. My desire to see her coupled with the anxiety of potentially building something with Xeno made me completely forget that Xeno and I had dinner plans on the evening that Lisa was arriving into town. It wasn't until Xeno called me to let me know that she was back in the city and confirm that we were still on for dinner, that I realized my oversight.

  "Oh my God," I groaned the moment it hit.

  Immediately, Xeno shifted from casual to concerned. "What is it? Do you need to cancel?"

  "No, I—well, maybe. Lisa spontaneously decided to fly in tonight and in my excitement to see her I…well, I forgot about dinner. I'm so sorry."

  "Oh." She uttered a relieved sigh and I licked my lips at the sound, wishing I could see her face in that moment. "Girl, you scared me; I thought something was seriously wrong. Is her husband coming also? How many people do I need to add to the reservation?"

  Her response was so unexpected that my mind went blank for a brief moment. "You…want me to bring her to dinner?"

  "Of course. You talk about her so much and I know she means a lot to you, I just assumed she would be joining us. But if you want to hang out with her tonight, just the two of you, I completely understand."

  There was no sarcasm or attitude in her tone; she was serious. I was flabbergasted. "You'd be okay with me canceling on you?" This was unbelievable.

  Then she chuckled and my belly fluttered. Or maybe that was my pussy.

  "Okay isn't the right word. I'd be disappointed because I was looking forward to seeing you—to tasting your lips—but I'd understand. That's your best friend who you haven't seen since you moved down here. She's flying in to see you and once she leaves there's no telling how long it'll be before y'all see each other again."

  "It's only been a few weeks," I butted in, trying to deflect from the fact that she was able to parse out my concerns so well. It was unnerving…and arousing.

  "Pshh!" she said, laughter evident in the sound. "You telling me or yourself?"

  "I—"

  "Baby, I had you to myself just the other day, and while I was hoping to have you tonight, I swear it's fine, if that's what you want."

  I sucked in a breath. Xeno was saying all of the right things, which was cause for me to be skeptical, but the moment that she called me baby I felt a yearning deep inside of my chest that was almost a physical ache. It had fell from her mouth so nonchalantly, as if we had surpassed the stage where we decided if pet names would be a thing and the conclusion was forgone. The desire to be her baby was intense.

  The need to see her—and soon—was overwhelming and, decision made, I said, "Add one person to the reservation. You're gonna meet my Lisa tonight."

  "Yes, ma'am." There was no hesitation. No confirming if I was sure. Just instant agreement.

  Mindboggling.

  My face crumbled into a pout. "Xeno! Don't speak to me like that!" It probably wasn't even purposeful, but her tone had dropped just a millimeter into a register that should only be used in the bedroom and I was suddenly certain that it was indeed my pussy that was fluttering.

  This time her chuckle was low and intentional, slithering up my spine and settling into my chest, making my breaths short and my breasts heavy.

  "I'll see you tonight, Trisha."

  "Okay," I murmured demurely.

  We hung up and I told myself not to feel a way about her using my name instead of calling me baby again. It had only been once and was probably just a slip of the tongue, so I shouldn't have even put much thought to it. Yet…the easy way it had entered our conversation…I thought back to the picture on her Instagram and the accompanying caption. It was still on my mind hours later as I drove my best friend into downtown toward the restaurant Xeno had selected for us several days ago when she'd first made these plans.

  "Why are you so nervous?"

  Wiping the sweat from my upper lip, I glanced at Lisa. "This is new for me. We've never done this before."

  She frowned in confusion. "Uh, yes we have. I've met people you dated before."

  I shook my head as I pulled up to the restaurant, my throat tightening when I recognized Xeno's truck in the back of the lot. "You've met people that I fucked semi-regularly. There's a difference."

  She shrugged. "Okay, and now I'm meeting someone who you're dating and screwing—semi-regularly or otherwise. Still basically the same thing."

  My fingers tightened on the steering wheel. "Um…we haven't had sex yet."

  Lisa's mouth dropped open and she twisted until her entire body was facing me. "What?!"

  "I'm not repeating that shit." Shifting into park, I unbuckled my seatbelt and flipped down my visor to check my lipstick in the mirror.

  "I don't need you to repeat it; I want an explanation. Usually you don't even wait two weeks before you take someone you like to bed. Bossip called Xeno the Handsome Houston Hottie in the article they wrote about her IG post of you. You're withholding vagina from the Handsome Houston Hottie?? How?!"

  I'd had no idea about the celebrity gossip blog and refused to be distracted by that apt nickname. "Ooh, I'm actually out of stock in explanations. Can I substitute with a 'let's get inside or we'll be late'? I think I have a few of those laying around."

  Quirking a brow at me, Lisa gave me a knowing look. "I'll take one of those, but only because first impressions are everything and I don't want Xeno to think your bestie doesn't care about time. However, I'm also going to take a raincheck on that explanation because something in the water ain't clean and I need to figure out what it is."

  Choosing not to respond to that, I hopped out of my car and waited for to Lisa do the same before locking the doors and heading inside of the building. My eyes sought and found Xeno the moment that we crossed the threshold of the restaurant. She stood off to the side with her hands in her pockets and her gaze t
rained on the door, looking sexy as hell in a short-sleeved, peach button down tucked into slim-fitting, dark-blue plaid pants that were held up to her slim hips with navy suspenders. Her locs were braided to the back of her head in chunky cornrows and twisted into a bun at the nape of her neck.

  Our eyes met and all of the anxiety I felt about the trajectory of our relationship and seeing her again expelled. I was left feeling giddy, nearly floating across the lobby until we were mere inches apart, smiling at each other like two fools who hadn't just spent two days together a couple of days ago. She reached for me, hands coming to my waist as she bent her neck and joined our mouths for a sweet, purposeful kiss.

  She tasted sweet and earthy, as if she'd smoked not long before she'd arrived to the restaurant, but the only thing I smelled on her was her cologne. When we parted, I brushed my thumb against her lips to wipe away my lipstick.

  "Hi," I said stupidly, unable to think clearly with her so close to me and her scent clouding my senses and making me want to ride her pussy in the middle of this fine establishment we stood in.

  "Hey, Trisha. I'm glad you made it safely."

  Her concern was always welcomed but the moment she spoke my name I was reminded that I was—once again—not her baby. Apparently, my face decided to broadcast my displeasure because Xeno's brows knitted in concern.

  Tightening her grip on me, she asked, "What's wrong?"

  Quickly schooling my features into a smile, I shook my head and stepped out of her embrace, not too far, just enough that I could reach for Lisa who stood a few feet behind me.

  "Nothing. Let me introduce you two."

  Acknowledging my cues, Lisa came to stand beside me. I grabbed her hand and squeezed. "Lisa, this is Xeno. Xeno, meet my best friend, Lisa. Now you can finally put a face to the name I probably say entirely too much."

  "Aww," Lisa cooed leaning into me. Then she held a hand out for Xeno to shake. "Hello there, gorgeous. It's so nice to finally meet you. Trisha's playing coy but she talks about you all the time. Of course, I didn't know the woman she was talking about was Xeno the rapper until yesterday." She cut her eyes at me in a sly look and I rolled my eyes.