Rule Number Four (Rule Breakers Book 4)

by Nicky Shanks

  ***

  There it is.

  The old, rickety house I left behind.

  I never dreamed I would have to come back here, but here I am.

  Randy is right; I’m too young to be dealing with the things my parents make me deal with. They don’t abuse me, but they aren’t exactly fans of me either.

  The entire bus ride home—the hours seemed like days—I drifted off and dreamt about that boy I met in the rain. What was his name? I can never remember that part when I dream of him. His green eyes were glowing in the night, and that’s all I can ever seem to fully remember about him.

  It’s like he knew me.

  The door of my parents’ house is unlocked so I step inside, trying to be as quiet as I can so they don’t notice that I’m back. Once they see me, their games will start again and my little mental vacation will be over.

  Too late.

  “What you doin’ back here already?” Bob asks me. I call them Bob and Dianne instead of Dad and Mom because you’re supposed to call strangers by their first names. “I thought that boy was keeping you longer?”

  I shrug. “Marianna didn’t want me there.”

  Bob snorts. “Well, since you’re back, you can clean up the dog’s mess in the backyard, yeah?” He cracks open a brown beer can and chugs the liquid inside. After burping, he scratches his stomach and disappears back into the living room where the television is blaring an action movie loudly.

  Dianne emerges from the kitchen and frowns at me. “After you’re done with the dogs, you can clean up that disgusting kitchen. There’s weeks' worth of dishes in that sink because you haven’t been here to do them. Did you have a nice vacation?” Her voice is too sweet and makes me anxious. “Did your brother treat you right?”

  Does she want me to get excited and sit down to tell her all about my trip?

  Her smile fades quicker than it started. “Well, we have work to do around here to get the rent paid. Miss Carter’s house down the street needs cleaned and she offered you fifty bucks to do it. Get down there after you do the dishes and don’t come back without a full fifty, okay?”

  Her cigarette smoke fills my nose and makes it itchy.

  I’m still only a child.

  “Okay…” I look toward the staircase and back at her. “Can I put my things away before I start?”

  Dianne pats me on the shoulder and squeezes my skin a little too hard. “Don’t waste too much time. I want that money by the end of the night, and you’ve got other obligations tomorrow so you’ll need a good night’s rest.”

  I nod and run up the staircase, noticing that the door to my bedroom is cracked open. I push it open and scan the room for all of the contents that belong there.

  My bed is missing.

  My desk is missing.

  A thin air mattress sits in the middle of the floor next to a now-empty bookshelf.

  They even sold my schoolbooks.

  Randy isn’t going to come through on his promise, I know he won’t.

  I’m stuck in this cage forever.

  ***

  It’s like I’m sleeping and these old movies keep playing in my mind. I’m not scared or afraid; I’m more intrigued, like I don’t know what’s going to happen next and it’s my own life. For the first time in a very long time, I’m at such peace that it’s hard to believe it won’t end.

  Coming in and out of the movies inside my head is like gently popping a bubble and floating around in the dark night sky for who knows how long. It could be weeks, months…years before I open my eyes and wake up from these dreams.

  It could be never.

  ***

  “What the hell is this about?” Bob’s voice booms downstairs. “You can’t fucking do this!”

  “Get off of him!” Dianne screams. “Julie! Run!”

  I don’t run.

  I know what’s happening.

  They’re getting what they deserve.

  I found the credit applications with all of the fake names and stolen identities on them weeks ago. At the time, I wasn’t sure what to do about it since I knew this would land them in prison, but where would it land me? I don’t want to go to a foster home…or worse.

  The screaming continues for a few minutes until my bedroom door opens and three pairs of sad eyes fall on me. Three young male paramedics gently make their way toward me, but I’m not going to run or scream. I’m not going to fight them and I’m not going to make this worse.

  I haven’t seen the sunlight in over a week.

  “Hey, you,” one of the men coos at me, “are you okay? My name is Chase, and these are my friends, Mike and Raoul.” My eyes dart to the other two men; Mike is blonde and goofy and Raoul is dark-skinned and wide-lipped. He smiles at me and it makes me feel warm inside.

  “Is it just you up here?” Mike looks around to make sure we’re all alone.

  I nod. “It’s just me.”

  Chase brushes his wildfire red hair back toward his neck. “Hey, don’t worry. We’re going to check you out and then get you somewhere safe, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  I’m used to people taking what they want from me.

  This is no different.

  “We aren’t going to hurt you. What’s your name?” Raoul asks, gently tugging my arm and unfolding it from my side. He examines my skin and turns my arm over to look at something else.

  “Julie.” I lick my dry lips. “Julie Remington.”

  Raoul smiles. “Nice to meet you, Julie. When is the last time you’ve eaten?”

  I shrug my shoulders.

  “Bathed?”

  I shrug again.

  “Been outside?”

  I know the answer to that one. “Last Thursday.”

  Raoul’s eyes widen. “How old are you?”

  “Thirteen and three days.”

  Chase snorts. “That’s precise. Do you have any other family nearby?”

  I shake my head. “My brother lives in New York. He’s a police officer.”

  “Is his name Randy?”

  The ice around my heart starts to melt.

  “You know him?”

  Chase smiles. “He sent us for you. After he found out about the scam your parents were running, he contacted the authorities and they caught them. If it wasn’t for your letter, no one would’ve known.”

  Mike pats my leg. “You’re a hero to a lot of innocent people, Julie.”

  Hero.

  Not me—I’m not a hero.

  “I just want to see Randy.” I shake Mike’s hand from my ankle. “Is he here?”

  “No, you need to get checked out at the hospital and released into social services.” I start to protest, but Mike holds my ankle again to keep me from jumping up. “You’re not staying there. Someone from social services will escort you to New York.”

  “You can’t tell her all of this,” Chase hisses. “Randy wanted us to be the ones to talk to you. His wife didn’t agree to keeping you with them, so Randy’s mother will be fostering you.”

  I’ve never met Randy’s mother before.

  “I don’t know her.” I bite the inside of my cheek. “Is she nice?”

  Chase feels bad for my sadness. “Honey, anything is better than here, isn’t it?”

  He’s right.

  Anywhere but here.

  Chapter Twenty

  Veronica

  So, this is what dying is like.

  I’ve been close to it before, but never somethin’ like this.

  This is…empty.

  ***

  I hear someone in the distance, but it’s too damn dark to see anything. I don’t feel like myself; I feel healthy and vibrant.

  My legs come into view and the room I’m standing in fades into view around me.

  “Veronica?” Someone calls for me. “Hey, it’s okay.” His warm hand grips the back of my arm and squeezes gently. It’s like it’s really happening; I feel his touch like he’s really there.

  Colin Jackson.

  “Are yo
u nervous?” His voice whispers in my ear as he pulls me close. “There’s nothing to be nervous about…my father can be a big teddy bear sometimes.”

  Vic Jackson.

  This is the first time I met him.

  “You look gorgeous.” His lips brush my ear. “And you smell amazing.”

  A giggle flows from my mouth. I’m watching this from inside my body, but there’s nothing I can do to change the outcome. All I can do is sit back and watch the trauma that unfolds with each ticking second.

  “I love you, V,” he whispers again. “Ah, here he comes.”

  Before I can say it back to him, Colin’s pulled himself next to me and wrapped his long arm around my waist. I chose the fanciest pale pink skirt I own, and even though it’s a little too short for my comfort, it’s all I had to impress him.

  “You look fantastic, baby, don’t fret.” Colin chuckles and swats my hands from tugging at the white blouse my friend Poppy lent to me. “Dad.” He greets his father when Vic arrives and it takes a few seconds for me to get enough courage to look him in the eye.

  His dark eyes are preying on me. “Who is this?” he demands of his son. “Colin, I don’t have time for another one of your puppy love—”

  Colin clears his throat. “This is Veronica, Dad. I love her.”

  Vic snorts and doesn’t bother giving me any attention. “I’m sure you do. Just like the last one and the one before that.”

  This isn’t going well. I’m getting angry at Colin each time they banter back and forth. I didn’t want to believe that he was the womanizer everyone said he was. I thought he was different and didn’t want to collect me into his scrapbook of women.

  “I think I’m going to head home,” I say and try to shake Colin’s grip from me. He made me think I was special, and I should’ve known better than to believe anything he said.

  “No, V. Stay, okay? Dad, I love her and it’s real this time.”

  Vic waves him off. “Whatever, I need a drink.” He walks away from us and pours brown liquid from a crystal decanter into a scotch glass. “Where did you get this one? At least she’s got a nice rack on her—the other ones you bring home look like cardboard cutouts.”

  Colin scoffs. “Don’t speak about her like that.” Vic leaves the room and Colin starts to run after him. Before he leaves me alone, he turns back with sadness in his eyes. “I’ll make him see, V. He’ll love you just as much as I do. You’re not trash and I don’t want you to leave.”

  “I won’t,” I hear myself squeak.

  His eyes darken as he glares over at me. “Promise me?”

  “I promise I won’t leave you, Colin.”

  ***

  That was a promise I never intended to keep. The living room of Vic’s old mansion fades and I feel Colin’s love for me fade too. I never had a doubt in my mind that he loved me; I just got too scared to admit that he needed me as much as I needed him.

  It’s insane how much Oliver looks like Colin. Right down to his skinny nose and broad jawline, his tall and overbearing frame, and even the way he holds himself screams Colin Jackson. Maybe he learned it from him, I don’t fucking know.

  I think about my son and how I jumped in front of him when Casey shot that gun off.

  After we fell, it was too hard to stay awake to make sure he was okay. I don’t know where the bullet went or where Julie ended up, but Casey ran away with his damn tail between his legs like a coward.

  He’s nothing like his father.

  As far as I’m concerned, he’ll never know who that is.

  ***

  “No,” I whisper and shake my head as I look at the stick in my hands. The window has two lines inside of it and sets me into a frenzy of horror. “Shit, what am I gonna do?”

  A few soft knocks on the door and it makes me drop the stick onto the ground. “Veronica? Are you okay in there?” Colin calls for me. “You’ve been in there all morning.”

  Frantically, I hide the stick between a few goldenrod bath towels and flush the toilet to make him believe I just have the stomach flu. He just let me back into his and Oliver’s lives and this will ruin everything. He knocks again and jiggles the handle of the bathroom door. “V, open the door.”

  I quickly check myself out in the mirror and still look like a damn mess ran over three times on the side of the road, but I find the handle and unlock it, letting him come bursting inside to see me standing in the middle of the bathroom with worry on my face.

  “What’s going on in here?” His tall body hovers over me. I want to wrap myself around him and try to make this all go away, but that’s not the life I live. He’ll expect me to stay forever this time if I tell him I’m pregnant with his baby again. Shit, he expected me to stick around the first time, but my own mind got the best of me and jerked my happy ending straight out from underneath me.

  Yet he lets me keep coming back.

  “Baby…” His warm hands slide up my arms. “What’s wrong?”

  I shake my head and quickly think of something to hold him off. “I’m just feeling a little sick, is all. I’m still getting rid of most of that shit in my system, you know?”

  He cringes at my choice of language, but I don’t know how to be anyone else for him anymore. “You know you can always tell me anything, right? I know you say that part of your life is over but…V, it doesn’t just go away like that. Are you sure you won’t let me pay for rehab? You could go somewhere nice like Arizona or Tahoe…you’d like that.”

  “I don’t want to leave you again.” I lower my eyes to the ground. “I want to be here with you and Oliver. That’s what I want, Colin.”

  He smiles. “I know you want to believe that. You can stay here as long as you want, you know that. But, this is the last time, Veronica. If you leave this time, you’re gone for good.”

  I have to stay.

  “My mother wants me to visit her for a few months in July.” I blink a few times to hold back the hot, lying tears about to fall down my face. “She damn near insisted.”

  His lips graze mine and I know I’m defenseless. I let him tip my chin up so our lips can meet and we click together like long-lost puzzle pieces at the bottom of a toy chest.

  “That’s over six months away.” He laughs into my mouth. “I want to take this one day at a time. Oliver deserves that from me—he’s only two, but he’s already confused why you keep leaving and showing back up. Six months from now, if you’re still around…we’ll cross that bridge with your mother.”

  I snort. “You know she hates you.”

  “I can’t believe you don’t hate her for leaving you at that inn to fend for yourself. My mother died in childbirth…or at least that’s what my father told me. I know Marva’s my real mother, but I’ll never tell her that I know.”

  “Why not? She’s the nicest woman I’ve ever met.”

  The sexy, half-cocked smile he’s known for shines on his lips. “They didn’t want me to know for a reason. It’s their business to tell, not mine. When they’re ready, they can tell their story.”

  All is right and good around Colin Jackson.

  “V?” He notices my drifting daydreams. “I’m glad you’re back. I’ve missed you terribly.”

  Ask him, Veronica.

  “Why do you let me keep coming back? What’s the benefit for you?” My lips move and I instantly regret my questions. He doesn’t frown or get angry. Instead, he searches through answers inside his mind like he’s got them all planned out and ready to pick one to run with.

  “I get to be with you,” he flatly says. “That’s all I can ever want.”

  “When are you going to give up on me?” My mouth is dry, but I need to make sense of this. “I’m going to keep falling back into my stupid fucking ways, Colin. I’m never going to be the woman, mother, or wife you want me to be.”

  He swoops me into his arms and tucks me into his chest. “I just want you to be the woman I fell in love with at the cabin. I want you to be the pure and kind-hearted person you showed me yo
u could be. You didn’t care about my money or my material things, V. You wanted my heart and you wrapped yourself around it so tightly, it’s hard to fucking let you go.”

  His voice turns into a growl. “I can’t stop thinking about you. I’ll never, ever stop wanting you. I think I’m just at a point now where it’s not enough for me anymore. I need more from you, Veronica, and I’m hoping that this time you can give it to me or I’m going to have to let you go.”

  I nod. “Warning noted.”

  He laughs and it electrifies the bottom half of my torso. “No warning, baby—just communication.”

  “Call it what you want, but I don’t have high hopes for myself.”

  “I’ll always see you for who you are, Veronica. Always.”

  ***

  Colin wasn’t lying. He always saw me for who I truly was: a weak, poor excuse for a mother and lover. Why he kept trying to find the light inside of me I’ll never understand, but I’m thankful for it, nonetheless. Somehow, it kept me going long enough to finally realize I’m tired of living that life.

  It’s way too fucking late.

  Luckily, I’m not looking for redemption. I’m looking for peace in whatever amount of years I have left on this Earth…wait. I was looking for peace, and my years on Earth are all fucking done now. Oddly enough, I do feel like I’m floating on a cloud of serenity.

  No more pain.

  No more regrets.

  ***

  The way Colin’s chocolate eyes wrap around my soul washes every bad thing in my life away. He follows me around the bedroom as I unpack from my fake trip to see my mother in Tulsa. He wants to hear about my reunion with her and I’ve rehearsed everything that I’m gonna say, but he isn’t giving me any damn space to breathe.

  I turn to him and stop him from coming any closer with my extended arms. “I want to talk to you about this, but let me get settled, okay? I want to check in on Oliver—”

  “He’s asleep.” Colin blushes and turns away. “My father is taking him to the country club tomorrow for Grandparents’ Day.”