More Precious Than Gold

by Merry Farmer

  “No. She can’t be.”

  “She is. Her aunt has offered to take her and her mother in. Mrs. White feels like they don’t have any choice. So when Henry goes back to Philadelphia in September, she and Louisa will be packing up and sailing away to England.”

  Wren pressed a hand over her heart and stared at Andrew as though the world were ending. Her eyes went glassy with tears.

  “Why didn’t she tell me?”

  Andrew shrugged and reached out to hug his sister. “She doesn’t want to go. She’s been trying to figure out ways around it. She was going to talk to Papa about it, but, well, that’s a long story too.”

  “She can’t go.” Wren pushed back, shaking her head and wiping her eyes. “That’s all there is to it. She’s needed here. She has friends here, family. She’s like my sister. She can’t go.”

  “I don’t want her to go either,” Andrew agreed. “That’s, well, I guess that’s why I rushed to ask her to marry me so soon. Maybe too soon.”

  Wren only glared at him in response. “You have to make this right, Andrew.” Her frustration dropped as she rolled her eyes into a hopeless pout. “Because you’re right. I hate it when you’re right.”

  He managed to grin at her. She shook her head and went on.

  “She could stay if she married you. But don’t let that lure you into doing something stupid again.” She pointed a finger at him.

  “Believe me, I don’t want to. But I … I think I need someone to tell me what’s stupid and what’s not.”

  It was a difficult thing to admit, especially at a time in his life when he thought everything about being a responsible adult was coming clear to him. Part of him thought he should be able to solve any problem on his own, without advice. Now he was reluctantly seeing that some problems didn’t have clear-cut solutions and couldn’t be solved in one quick moment.

  “What do I do?” he asked.

  Wren bit her lip in thought, then took his arm and started walking with him toward the house. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “Yet. We should talk to Mama and Papa about this. And probably Gayle too,” she added as an afterthought. “She can at least tell you how to woo a woman. I think. And you definitely, definitely need to pray about this.”

  Andrew laughed at the enthusiasm of Wren’s ideas, his heart feeling light for the first time in a week. With Wren’s help—and Gayle’s and his parents, but most especially the Lord’s—he could figure this out.

  He walked Wren the rest of the way home to Cliff House, then turned around and headed back to the construction site, running up the beach as he did. For the first time in a week, he felt a sense of purpose again.

  Lord, he thought as his feet pounded on the sand and his heart hammered in his chest, help me to see the right way to do this. Help me to put aside my own selfish desires and to think of what’s best for Louisa. I love her so much.

  That little thought, sandwiched in a prayer, lifted his spirits. Admittedly, he had no idea what he was doing or how to do it, but Wren had at least helped him to see that he would need to approach everything from a much more humble spot to make sure that the right path was taken.

  He finished his work at the lighthouse with renewed energy. Rowan noticed and smiled, but he didn’t ask what had happened. As they cleared the remnants of the last old wall from the construction site and into the rubbish pile, Andrew pondered his next move. His whole life was changing. He wanted it to change—he welcomed that change—but it was dawning on him that as much as he might want to, he couldn’t control that change. He could only follow it.

  By the time he returned to Cliff House to take a quick bath and change his clothes, at least one course of action had become clear to him. It was time for him to commit to the changes in his life, commit to being a grown man.

  “I’m going into town,” he announced to Wren and his mother and youngest siblings as they began the first preparations for supper.

  “Will you be back to eat with us?” his mother asked without stopping in her search for clean dishes.

  “No, not tonight,” Andrew answered, earning a surprised look from Wren. She watched him carefully as he dashed into the hall to grab his hat and jacket before heading through the kitchen toward the door. “I think I’m going to find Jamie and have supper with him.”

  “Jamie?” Wren was startled.

  “Yes.” He made a quick detour to peck a kiss on his sister’s cheek, and one on his mother’s as well. “I need to ask him something.”

  “What could you possibly have to ask James Darling at a time like this?” Wren quizzed him.

  “Wouldn’t you like to know,” he teased her.

  Before Wren could work herself into an argument, Andrew fixed his cap on his head, shrugged into his coat, and jumped out through the kitchen door. A light rain had begun to fall, but he ignored it. He dashed into the stable to fetch his bicycle, tipping his hat to their family’s two horses, then set off down the driveway and along the road into town.

  Jamie wasn’t hard to find. Even though the rain picked up to a steady downpour as Andrew reached the center of town, he was able to park his bicycle under a simple wooden shelter to the side of the multi-story building where Jamie had his apartment.

  He rushed into the cramped hallway leading to the apartments that stacked above a bakery owned by a Portuguese family. The delicious aroma of sweet bread followed him up the stairs, helping his already hopeful mood. Something about the chatter of foreign voices behind the closed doors he passed on his way to the top floor made him feel just as homey as he did at Cliff House. He knocked on the door at the very top of the stairs with vigor.

  Jamie answered moments later.

  “Andrew.” He grinned in surprise. “What are you doing here?”

  “I came to see if you know of any apartments to let,” he announced his intentions boldly, stepping inside Jamie’s small set of rooms.

  “Did your family finally kick you out?” Jamie laughed and held out an arm to welcome him in.

  “I’m kicking myself out,” Andrew informed him with a smile.

  When Jamie saw that Andrew was serious, his mirth settled into curiosity.

  “I thought you wanted to stay at home with your family as long as you could. I thought they needed you there.”

  Andrew shrugged and plopped onto Jamie’s old sofa.

  “There are a lot of things I thought I knew that it turns out I didn’t.”

  Jamie took a few steps toward him and crossed his arms. Andrew could tell by the twinkle in his friend’s eyes that Jamie could sense a story.

  “What kind of things do you not know?”

  After the day he’d had, Andrew didn’t really feel like explaining all of his mistakes and wishes for Louisa again. Dwelling on the past wasn’t going to help him set things right in the present, or plan for the future.

  “The fact that it’s not enough to take responsibility for my professional life without taking equal responsibility for my personal life, for one,” he said.

  “Louisa.” Jaime laughed. He shook his head and sunk into the chair that matched the sofa where Andrew sat. “If you were any other man I would accuse you of wanting your own place so that you could entertain your lady friend in private.” When Andrew’s face dropped to shock, Jamie rushed on with, “But I know you too well. You’re an honorable man with a strong moral compass.”

  “Thank you Jamie.” Andrew grinned. “You too.”

  “I try.” He brushed the comment aside and sat forward on the edge of his seat. “So what is this really all about?”

  “It’s about doing the right thing,” Andrew stated his case firmly. “It’s about knowing what it’s like to have to manage on my own, with nobody to catch me if I fall.”

  “You’ll always have someone to catch you if you fall,” Jamie said with a fond grin. “That’s what I like so much about your family.”

  Andrew shrugged. “True. But if I’m ever going to understand what Louisa is really feeling, what s
he really needs—from me or from anything—I’m going to have to let go of the comfort of home and be a man of the world.”

  “You mean you’d give up your sister’s cooking to become a man of the world?”

  The laughter in Jamie’s eyes would have bothered Andrew if he didn’t know his friend really did have his best interests at heart.

  “I guess I’ll have to learn how to cook,” he concluded, then stood. “Or figure out where the best restaurants are in town. How about supper?”

  Jamie chuckled and shook his head as he rose to his feet. “If you’re paying then I’m eating.” He slapped Andrew on the back and they started for the door.

  Jamie stopped when they got there and raised an eyebrow as he said, “You know, if you’re serious about going your own way, it means you won’t be able to use your parents’ money. And our business is barely off the ground. We still have to take the boats out next week.”

  “True,” Andrew nodded. “But I have enough saved up to scrape through the rest of the summer.”

  “Then lead on, Mr. Moneybags.”

  Chapter 9

  Louisa sat in church that Sunday with her hands tightly clasped in her lap and her head lowered, lost in her thoughts. She tried to listen to Rev. McBride’s sermon, but all she could hear was the steady drilling of the rain on the Clevelands’ barn roof. It was coming down so hard that she was certain she could feel it in her bones.

  She hadn’t spoken to her friends in more than a week. She hadn’t seen Andrew since the horrible scene on the Cliff House porch. Last Sunday, she had gotten away with skipping church by claiming she had a headache, which wasn’t far from the truth. Now her eyes kept drifting across the aisle to where the McBrides sat. Once again, Wren was watching her. Her dear friend sent her a wistful smile when their eyes met. Louisa snapped her glance away abruptly and clenched her closed hands tighter.

  If she was being honest with herself, Louisa was too embarrassed to talk to her friends. She had had ample time to think about her behavior with Andrew, and every way she looked at it, she knew that she hadn’t handled the situation well. She should have at least stayed long enough to explain to her friends why she was leaving. Or she should have gone back later to tell them, or at least sent them a letter. She’d done none of those things, and now she felt like the worst kind of heel. They would never forgive her. They shouldn’t forgive her. There was no excuse for running out on her friends without at least giving them a chance to help. The guilt was almost too much to bear.

  She turned as subtly as she could and tried to get a glimpse of Gayle, sitting with her family a few rows in back of her, across the aisle. Gayle had never looked so glum, not when there were handsome young men around. Even that mischievous thought sunk Louisa’s spirits lower. She missed her friends terribly.

  The only thing stopping Louisa from dissolving into a heap of turmoil in her seat was the fact that Andrew was not sitting with the rest of his family. Instead he had taken a seat near the back of the congregation with Jamie. An itching curiosity to know why he was all the way back there instead of in the front row sitting next to Wren crushed any hope Louisa had of paying attention to the sermon.

  Once again she told herself that she didn’t want to see him. And once again she knew she was lying. Lying had become a terrible habit for her lately. She sighed as Rev. McBride finished his sermon and the pianist began the first strains of the hymn, vowing she would stop lying right now.

  Her resolve lasted through the hymn, the benediction, and the final hymn. It began to waver as Rebecca McBride stood up to snuff the candles around the Word as the pianist played a short, pretty song. It faltered completely when people stood where they were and started to mill around the barn to socialize. She stood as well, Henry standing beside her as her mother excused herself to help Mrs. Cleveland with the refreshments.

  “Be strong,” Henry whispered in her ear when he noticed Wren handing her baby sister off to her mother and Gayle breaking away from her parents. “They’re your friends, and last I heard they don’t bite.”

  “They’re going to murder me for staying away so long.”

  “I seriously doubt it.”

  Louisa shook her head and tried to back up. She backed straight into the solid wall of Henry’s chest. He wasn’t going to let her face this alone, but he was still going to force her to face it.

  “Good morning, Wren, Gayle.” She turned a weak smile from one friend to the other as they edged their way through the suddenly noisy crowd to reach her. “I’m so sorry I haven’t—”

  Her apology was drowned in a crush of arms as both Wren and Gayle hugged her together.

  “Don’t you dare apologize to us, young lady,” Gayle laughed, causing the lump that had been in Louisa’s throat to burst into uninvited tears.

  “But I shouldn’t have stayed away from you, I thought I had a good reason, but now—”

  “I don’t care.” Wren stopped her. She slid one arm around Louisa’s waist as Gayle matched the gesture, the two of them steering her away from the center of the room.

  “We’ll take care of her from here,” Gayle told Henry over her shoulder as they marched off.

  Relief mingled with an even deeper guilt in Louisa’s gut. She never should have doubted her friends, never.

  “I can’t tell you how happy I am to see you,” she all but sobbed in relief as they made their way to the front corner of the room, where the fewest people were. With the hubbub of talk that had sprung up at the end of the sermon, it was almost as if they were alone.

  “You don’t have to tell us.” Gayle hugged her again. “We’re just as happy to see you. We were so worried.”

  Louisa couldn’t help but laugh with joy. “You were worried? Come now, Gayle, you know worrying is my area of expertise.”

  “Well it shouldn’t be,” Wren scolded her, then launched instantly into, “My brother is a complete idiot.”

  The newfound joy in Louisa’s heart withered into a fresh wave of tears at the mention of Andrew. Wren hadn’t even called him by name and still her heart broke at the suggestion of him.

  “No, I’m the idiot, Wren, not him. I didn’t know what to do. I was so angry with him, but I shouldn’t have walked off and not come back.”

  “Poppycock.” Wren hugged her. “You did absolutely the right thing.”

  Louisa sniffed and wiped her eyes and nose with her handkerchief, feeling miserable.

  “What did he tell you?”

  “He told me that he proposed,” Wren said. She opened her mouth as if she would say more but shut it just as quickly and frowned.

  Louisa knew the expression. Wren was thinking hard about something, making a difficult decision. She took a breath, and when she spoke again Louisa wondered if it was what she had started out to say in the first place.

  “Andrew also told me that you’re moving to England?”

  Louisa dropped her head, angry at Andrew all over again for sharing what she’d told him in confidence, and stared at her hands, twisting her handkerchief.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to tell you,” she confessed. “I don’t want to go.”

  “Nonsense,” Gayle laughed and slid her arm around Louisa’s waist. Louisa glanced up at her in surprise. “Of course you want to go. Who doesn’t want to go to England? The castles? The accents? The dukes and princes?” Her fanciful statement managed to bring a weak laugh to Louisa’s lips. “You’ll have to give us weekly reports on Queen Victoria, you know. And fashion is always so much more advanced in London than in Boston.”

  If Gayle hadn’t exchanged a quick, conspiratorial look with Wren, Louisa would have thought that she was serious. That tiny look lit a fire of hope in her heart.

  “Why don’t you come back to Cliff House this afternoon and tell us all about your plans? Andrew said you are going to live with your aunt?”

  Andrew. Louisa winced at the beautiful name and everything that it made her feel, good and bad. She searched the room for him.
He was standing with Jamie at the diagonal opposite end of the barn, watching her intently.

  When they made eye contact, he smiled hopefully, anxiously. Her heart flipped in her chest at the same time that a flare of anger flickered through her gut. Did he still think he could solve her problems like a puzzle and that she should be grateful for it?

  “Andrew won’t be there.” Wren’s clipped sentence brought her attention back to her friends.

  “He won’t?”

  “He doesn’t live at Cliff House anymore.”

  It took several long moments for Wren’s news to sink into Louisa’s brain.

  “He…. Where does he live then?”

  “In town,” Wren informed her with a frown. It was clear she wasn’t happy with this new twist of events. “He moved out a few days ago. That James Darling helped him to find an apartment over the soda shop in town.”

  “The soda shop?”

  Her cheeks flared bright red. Was it just a coincidence? Why would he move into an apartment in town when he had a huge, gorgeous house by the beach with his family? She was somewhat familiar with the accommodations in town, and even though they were a step up from where she lived, they weren’t much of a step up.

  “I asked him why he would ever want to move away from Cliff House and he told me that he wanted to be closer to his business,” Gayle echoed Louisa’s own thoughts with a shrug, as if nothing were uncommon about trading riches for rags. “Maybe he just wanted to be able to get ice cream whenever he felt like it.”

  Louisa shook her head. Her legs and back were beginning to hurt, and the noise of the congregation was giving her a headache, but there was no place to go, no place to sit down.

  “Can we talk about something else?” she sighed. “I haven’t seen you or anyone for more than a week and I don’t want to waste my time talking about….” She trailed off. She didn’t want to talk about her mistakes and regrets.

  Her eyes flickered up to find Andrew again. Rowan had joined him and Jamie, and now all three were talking to Mr. Cleveland and one of the other older men of the society.