Druid's Due

by M. D. Massey

  “Look out, druid! There’s one on the roof!”

  Larry’s warning came a dollar short and a day late. The second revenant had already landed on my back, and it was making short work of my jacket and shirt. I reached back and grabbed the rev by the arm, yanking it over my shoulder as I tossed it through the open door of the RV. Those vehicles looked solid enough, but the new ones were about as sturdy as a papier-mâché dollhouse. I must’ve tossed it a bit too hard, because the rev went straight through the opposite wall.

  “Shit! Larry, keep an eye on that thing and make sure it doesn’t get away,” I hollered.

  “On it!” the chupacabra replied. “But you’re going to owe me a broccoli pizza and some brewskis for this.”

  “Whatever,” I muttered as I entered the RV.

  Now that there were two ready-made exits, I didn’t want to let the first rev escape. The creature wasn’t going anywhere, intent as it was on its current meal. It was in the middle of the galley area, crouched over the body of a sixty-something male retiree.

  The revenant looked to have been in her late forties when she died. She was dressed in mom jeans, an expensive technical windbreaker, hiking boots, and flannels over a long-sleeved thermal baselayer. Two small bullet holes punctuated the dark black veins that stretched across her face—one in her forehead, the other just under her left eye. She screeched at me as she hovered over her meal, warning me away from her kill.

  Huh. Looks like she got turned here in the park. Something tells me finding patient zero is going to be a bitch.

  As for the old man, his chest had been ripped open, ribs splayed out and his innards on full display like a scene from Aliens. Blood soaked his shredded white t-shirt and tan Member’s Only jacket, while his dead eyes remained fixed on a spot far above the roof of the RV. Oddly enough, his reading glasses were still perched on his nose, even after the struggle that had apparently taken place when he’d first been attacked. Plates, cups, and silverware were strewn all over the floor, and his right hand still clutched a suppressed .22 caliber pistol.

  Hard to get a license for those—and expensive, too. Silenced .22 doesn’t make much noise and wouldn’t draw attention in an R.V. park, which was probably why he had it. Bad choice for killing revs, though. Poor old dude never had a chance.

  I didn’t have time to screw around with this rev. As far as I knew, its partner was the original carrier, so I needed to track it down, and quick. I pulled out Dyrnwyn, lit it up, and calmly walked toward the revenant. As expected, she leapt at me, either to protect her kill or to add me to the menu. Without much room to maneuver, I stepped slightly to the left and bladed my body, all while removing her head from her shoulders with an upward forehand slash.

  Her head went rolling out the door, while her body landed in a heap near the back bedroom. Not wanting to take any chances on someone getting infected, I torched the cabin with a fireball on my way out the door. Once the thing was up in flames, I tossed the revenant’s head inside, then took off at a jog after its partner.

  This one was smart, but picking up the trail was fairly easy. Rather than stick around, it had turned tail and run toward the Christmas Mountains, off park land. The last thing I wanted was for it to reach that rough country, because it’d be harder to track there, and there were occupied ranches and homesteads out that way as well. I took off at a sprint, determined to catch it before it holed up at sunrise.

  After I’d run for a mile or so, I heard snarls and growling in the distance. I pressed on, worried that the revenant had stumbled across more campers. As I came over a small rise, my fears were quelled.

  On the other side of the rise, Larry was harassing the creature in an obvious effort to keep him from running off—and he was doing a surprisingly good job of it. The chupacabra would disappear and then reappear behind the rev, snapping at its heels to get the thing’s attention. Enraged, the rev would lunge at him, only to have its arms close on empty air because Larry had already gone invisible and slipped away.

  The thing hadn’t noticed me yet, so I took a moment to study it. It had been an adult male, also late forties, and was dressed in similar fashion to the female I’d taken out back at the RV. Expensive hiking boots, technical jacket, thermals, the works. It was quite possible the two had been a couple and turned at the same time. Which meant the carrier was still at large.

  Of course, there was another possibility, one I didn’t care to consider.

  One thing at a time, Colin.

  I wasn’t about to chase this thing another step, so I pulled my Glock from my Bag and switched out the magazine for silver ammo. Then, I carefully drew a bead on the back of the rev’s head and squeezed off a single round. Call it luck, but I hit it right at the brain stem, cutting its strings like a marionette. After snagging the shell casing from the ground, I dropped it and the pistol back into my Craneskin Bag.

  Larry literally appeared at my side, tongue lolling through his crazy snaggled teeth. “Hell of a shot, druid, hell of a shot. You ever think of hunting monsters for a living?”

  “No, that never occurred to me, Larry,” I deadpanned.

  After checking the area to make sure we had no witnesses, I approached the body and squatted down next to it. Based on the skin color and level of decomposition, it was clear this man had been turned at roughly the same time as the female. I stood and began walking back to camp, absently tossing a fireball back at the corpse to set it alight.

  Shit. Hunted by the feds, backed into a corner by the skinwalkers, and now I have to deal with an undead outbreak.

  Or perhaps not. Maybe it was far worse than a random undead outbreak. Maybe someone was out here, killing people and raising the dead.

  “You look worried, druid,” Larry said as he loped along beside me.

  “I am.”

  I broke into a jog and made a beeline for our campsite.

  12

  As I ran to tell the others about the revenants, the sun came up behind the mountains to the east, painting the morning skies in pastel brilliance. Sadly, I was too occupied with worry about what I’d witnessed to fully appreciate the natural beauty around me. My sole consolation was that Larry had disappeared miles back, leaving me alone with my thoughts for a few blessed moments.

  Voices echoed off the canyon walls as I neared camp. I bounded up the virtually impassable game trail leading to the plateau we’d claimed, curious as to what the fuss was about. There were three female voices, laughing and chatting. Fallyn, Jesse, and—

  What the actual fuck? Bells?

  The girls were gathered around the campfire, sitting on camp chairs sipping coffee. Hemi sat off to the side, the obvious odd man out in their little kaffeeklatsch. His shoulders were tense, and he gripped a steaming mug like it was his only lifeline. Our eyes met, and he mouthed a silent “sorry” that spoke volumes.

  “Well, look what the cat dragged in,” Fallyn quipped as she hid a smile behind a cup of coffee cradled in both hands. “And from the looks of it, shit magnet found more trouble on his way back from the visitor center. I swear, Colin, we can’t take you anywhere.”

  Belladonna’s expression was neutral, if somewhat bemused. Despite the hard stare she gave at first, a smile teased the corners of her mouth as she looked me up and down. “You look like shit, and you smell like death.”

  Jesse sat slightly behind the other girls, observing them with a long face as she sipped her coffee. She glanced at me and shrugged. “You do look pretty rough, slugger.”

  Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!

  I decided that showing weakness at this juncture would be a mistake. Desperately in need of a power move to assert my dominance, I sauntered into their midst and poured myself a cup of coffee from the brew pot that sat on a cooking grate over the fire. The pot was hot enough to sizzle as it touched my skin, but I pretended not to notice.

  “Hmm… something tells me you’ve all been talking about me behind my back,” I observed drily, still holding the pot out of sheer stubbor
nness.

  Fallyn cleared her throat. “I’m the one who called this little pow-wow, so don’t blame them. After I filled Belladonna in on Jesse’s unique situation, these ladies have decided to raise the white flag.”

  “I see,” I said, not really seeing anything clearly at all. “Uh, Bells, that whole thing you saw, uh, the other night—”

  “She knows, Colin,” Jesse said. “I tricked you while I was under the influence of the Grove’s magic. You had no idea what you were doing.”

  “And while I’m not happy about it”—Belladonna paused to flash Jesse a halfhearted scowl—“we were broken up at the time, and actually neither of you knew what you were doing. How could I hold it against you? After all, you thought you were sleeping with me, pendejo.”

  Fallyn chuckled, and even Jesse broke out of her funk to crack an embarrassed grin. The she-wolf cleared her throat before interrupting.

  “As I was saying, these two have decided to call a truce. And seeing as how you’ve been so conflicted where they’re involved, they’ve decided to un-conflict you.”

  Jesse suddenly found something to stare at in the distance, while Belladonna’s eyes met mine with defiance. The serpenthrope nodded once as if to agree with Fallyn’s assessment. “It had to be done. You’re too kind to make a decision that might hurt someone, and too dumb to realize such a thing is necessary.”

  “Hey, now—” I objected, only to be cut off by Jesse.

  “She’s right, Colin. You’re too nice for your own good, and way too much of a people-pleaser. You’ve always been able to make the hard calls when it came to violence and bloodshed, but when it comes to relationships, you’re a huge wimp.”

  “Encerio!” Belladonna agreed.

  “Preach it, sister,” Fallyn exclaimed.

  I set the coffee pot back on the grill, as my hand had been burned to the point where I feared it would be permanently attached to the pot handle. It hurt like hell, so I shoved that hand in my pocket, stealth-shifting to speed up the healing process. Needing a moment to process what was happening, I took a sip of coffee and promptly burned my tongue. Undaunted, I swallowed that hot slug of coffee, nearly choking on it as it went down.

  Belladonna cleared her throat as she sat up straighter in her chair. “So, we’ve decided to make peace and cut you loose. After all, it’s not Jesse’s fault that she died while you two were madly in love.”

  “And it’s not Belladonna’s fault that you fell for her while you were still mourning my death,” Jesse said quietly.

  “Plus, I think everyone is in agreement that Golden Boy here is bound and determined to step in huge piles of horse shit every time he turns around,” Fallyn said as she looked at the other two women before turning her eyes on me. “Now, it’s not your fault that you got saddled with carrying on the druid legacy, nor is it your fault that you attract trouble like a turd attracts flies.”

  “I’m starting to resent all the scatological references,” I muttered.

  Fallyn frowned. “Are you done? As I was saying, your life is complicated, and that complicates things for anyone who gets involved with you. That’s a fact. Also—and this is purely my own observation…” She glanced at the other two women in turn. “Whoever chooses to become romantically involved with you needs to be willing to accept the entire package, which includes your tendency to try to rescue the world and fix everyone else’s problems. And it’s unfair to expect you to change, just because those tendencies are inconvenient to your significant other.”

  Jesse looked at Fallyn, brows furrowed, but she remained silent. On the other hand, Belladonna’s mouth was set in a hard line as she turned to Fallyn to object.

  “Girl, you know it’s true,” Fallyn said calmly. “You’ve been expecting him to change and focus all his attentions on you, simply because you fell in love with him.”

  “I’m not in love with him,” the huntress objected in a flat voice.

  “Whatever you say,” Fallyn replied, “but it ain’t fair to expect Colin to change to suit you.”

  Bells chewed her lip, eyes downcast and thoughtful. “Yes, I suppose you’re right.”

  Fallyn looked at Jesse. “And you came back expecting to just pick up where you left off. ’Cept you came back plum crazy, and he was already involved with another woman. Can you blame him for being more than a little gun shy now?”

  Jesse held her gaze for several seconds, first with hard eyes, but gradually her expression softened as she turned her eyes to me. “No, I suppose I can’t blame him at all.”

  I stood there with a burned hand, a scalded tongue, and my jaw on the floor. Meanwhile, the girls shared a collective sigh.

  Fallyn looked at the other ladies with the barest hint of sympathy. Then, she turned those hazel predator’s eyes at me. “Now, that’s settled. Do you have anything to add?”

  The girls each looked at me, waiting for me to respond.

  “Take your time,” Fallyn said. “I know it’s a lot to take in.”

  Frustrated, I poured my coffee on the ground. While at first blush it might seem like this turn of events would simplify things, in fact it would only made things harder. Now, pulling that thorn was going to be twice as painful, because it was going to look like I was using this as an excuse to be let off the hook.

  Plus, I definitely resented that certain—decisions—had been made without my input. Never mind that Fallyn had obviously orchestrated this entire thing to force my hand. Or that I’d come to similar conclusions on my own.

  Celibacy is looking really good about now.

  “Do I have a say in any of this?”

  “No!” they all shouted in unison.

  “Alright, then I’m going to bed,” I said as I stumbled off toward one of the tents. “By the way, there might be a necromancer roaming around the park, and I think it could be Ernesto Bylilly. Whoever it is, they’re raising revenants and turning them loose on local campers. Wake me up if you need me to kill anything.” I gave a two-fingered wave over my shoulder as I entered the tent. “‘Night, all.”

  There was a long silence punctuated only by branches crackling in the fire.

  Finally, Hemi cleared his throat. “Um… that went well, don’t you think?”

  After four hours of fitful sleep, I emerged from the tent bleary-eyed and in serious need of caffeine and calories. While the girls were nowhere to be seen, Hemi was sitting next to the fire, futzing with the coffee pot and looking like he needed something to do. He nodded at me, and I nodded back as I sat down cater-corner to him with my back to the sun.

  “Heard you stirring, so I put some of the black stuff on. Never done it this way though, so—”

  “Not to worry, I’ll filter the grounds out with my teeth,” I yawned, looking around. “Where are the girls?”

  He glanced sideways at me beneath arched eyebrows. “You sure you want to know, after they ambushed you like that?”

  “Speaking of which, thanks for stepping in on my behalf.”

  Hemi held his hands up defensively. “Far be it from me to get involved in your harem issues. Anyway, they’re out looking for whoever’s raising the dead.”

  “Ah,” I said, before the first part of his answer registered. “My ‘harem’? Like those trashy fantasy novels? That’s gross, dude.”

  He chuckled. “You kinda have one, ya know. A harem, that is.”

  “Stop it, already.” He poured me a cup of coffee and I took it, taking time to blow on it before I had a sip. “That’s actually not too bad.”

  “Bells brought you some of Luther’s special blend. Said you probably needed a taste of home, although she also said you didn’t deserve it.”

  I quietly sipped my coffee while taking a moment to reflect on my so-called harem issues. “They’re all too good for me, you know.”

  He sat back, legs outstretched and ankles crossed, hands over his belly. “Poor you,” he replied sarcastically.

  “Ouch. Can’t a guy engage in a little modest self-pity once in a whi
le?”

  “Naw. If I let you, you’d be at it all the time.” He closed his eyes and leaned his head back. “So—Fallyn, aye?”

  “After that stunt she pulled, arranging that ambush? Maybe not,” I chuckled.

  “It’s clear she’s keen on you. You feel the same?”

  “Not sure. We did sort of bond on that trip to New Orleans.”

  “I’d say she bonded to you way before that.”

  “Although I didn’t see it.” I rubbed my eyes before taking another sip of coffee. “Gotta say, she’s easy to be around. Fallyn doesn’t expect me to be something I’m not, you know? I can’t just stop being the Junkyard Druid, and I can’t call up the fae and all the gods I’ve pissed off and say, ‘Hey, let’s call it even and go our separate ways.’ They’re always going to keep coming at me, and I’m always going to stand in their way when they fuck with humanity. Fallyn gets that, but Bells? Not so much.”

  Hemi scratched his upper lip. “You sure about this?”

  “Nope.” I sipped my coffee, reveling in the thick black warmth, despite having no sugar or cream. “But I’m sick of trying to figure out what Bells wants from me all the time. She’s hot and cold, and it’s like I’m always breaking the rules with her, but I never know what the rules are. Belladonna is”—I searched for the right word—“exhausting.”

  “She did know what she was getting when she took up with you,” he said, nodding sagely. “And Jesse?”

  “Whole other can of worms, buddy. I still love her, just not romantically.”

  “Does she know that?” he asked.

  “I—we—I guess there hasn’t been much time to talk, since she came back.”

  “Now that she’s sane, you mean.” He interlaced his fingers behind his head. “And that doesn’t change things?”

  I worked a few kinks out of my neck as I considered his question. “Nah, it doesn’t. It’s been a couple of years since she—well, since I killed her.”

  “Since ‘it’ killed her,” he interjected. “That wasn’t you.”