Cowboy to the Core

by Maisey Yates

  He’d seen it explode right in front of him.

  And he’d failed spectacularly.

  And what the hell would have happened if she had been pregnant?

  What would he have done?

  He wanted to think he’d have done the right thing. But the fact of the matter was, when the going got tough in his life, he seemed to behave like Hank Dalton.

  When they arrived at the barn, Beatrix was already out front with the horse ready to be loaded into the trailer. Her curly red hair was tumbled-looking, and she had a wide grin on her face. And the source of the smile stood behind her, her fiancé, Dane Parker, Lindy’s younger brother.

  Gabe knew Dane pretty well, from their years riding together in the rodeo, though Dane rode bulls like Wyatt Dodge. He had also been horrifically injured a little over a year ago, though he seemed on the road to recovery now both mentally and physically.

  Jamie smiled when she saw Bea, and when he parked she got out of the truck and greeted her friend enthusiastically. It was definitely a different kind of reception than he ever got from Jamie.

  He followed behind slowly, and gave Dane a nod, extending his hand. The other man shook it. “Long time, no see,” Dane said.

  “Yeah, I think the last time I saw you, you were drunk,” Gabe said.

  “Uh, no,” Dane said. “I think the last time you saw me I was doing the walk of shame out of Bea’s cabin.”

  “Oh, right,” Gabe said.

  That had sure been a moment. Dane and Bea had gotten caught fooling around by her former sister-in-law, Wyatt and Gabe all at the same time. How could he have forgotten that?

  Maybe because seeing Dane Parker doing the walk of shame was less notable than seeing him sloppy drunk over a woman. Which was frankly what the evening they’d spent together drinking had been about.

  Dane’s feelings for Bea and attempting to not act on them.

  “I forgot about the drinking thing,” Dane commented.

  “Of course you did. Because you got hammered.”

  “When did he get hammered?” Beatrix asked.

  “That was quite a few months ago,” Gabe said. “I think he was drinking to forget a woman.”

  “More accurately,” Dane said, “I was drinking to keep myself from going after a woman that should have been off-limits.”

  “Oh,” Beatrix said, looking delighted. “That was me.”

  “Yes,” Dane said. “Yes, it was.”

  “Obviously, the alcohol didn’t work,” Gabe said. “Congratulations, by the way.”

  Beatrix lifted her hand and a ring sparkled on her finger, but not as brightly as her smile. “Thank you.”

  Dane looked...well, happier than Gabe could ever remember seeing him. Even when they’d been in the rodeo together. Happy wasn’t the right word for him then. There had been a drive and intensity beneath all his careless charm. Like he was always trying to prove something.

  Come to think of it, the same was true for a lot of the men.

  Gabe knew what that was like. That need to prove something about himself. He’d been trying to prove to himself that he could make a life he hadn’t been manipulated into by his father.

  What Gabe couldn’t imagine was...this.

  This slow slide into domesticity Dane had made. Getting engaged.

  But all the same, Gabe couldn’t help but wonder...

  If he hadn’t gone into the rodeo, would he have gotten married? Would he have married Trisha, even after the pregnancy scare and the fight?

  And would they have just been his parents in the end?

  As it was, he hadn’t done that. He’d left Trisha behind, and he knew he’d broken her heart at the time. But he’d always figured if they’d stayed together he’d have broken it worse.

  Now he might sleep around, but he always used condoms. He might sleep around, but he didn’t have a wife back home waiting for him. Not even a girlfriend.

  Gabe had made the conscious choice to be responsible with his irresponsibility.

  He’d never been destined for a position as a saint, but he could certainly aim to be considerate in his debauchery.

  “We have a whole bunch of other animals to deal with,” Beatrix continued, sounding as brusque as she ever did. “I really appreciate you taking the horse. I gave her a medical check, and everything seems great. I’m glad that we found these people when we did. Otherwise, things could have been really catastrophic.”

  “I’m glad, too,” Gabe said.

  They took some time loading the horse into the trailer. Jamie providing some tough encouragement and Bea cooing and apologizing for all the commotion as if the animal could speak English.

  “So this is your new project for the day,” Gabe said, looking over at Jamie.

  “I’m definitely ready for this. She’s not even old,” Jamie said. “I bet she could get back in fighting shape really quick.”

  “You know,” he said, “maybe this is the answer to some of your problems.”

  “What problems?”

  “Weren’t you just saying that you needed some time with the right horse to get on track with your barrel racing? Maybe Gem is your answer.”

  “Oh,” she said. “Yes. But I’m not sure that... I don’t know if I could afford a new horse, not with the way that I’m trying to save up.”

  “Obviously, I would give her to you. At least use her. I’m not planning on keeping any of these horses, and I’m not looking to turn a serious profit here.”

  “Really?”

  He wasn’t really sure why he was offering the horse to Jamie, except that...

  Jamie had a passion for all of this that he couldn’t seem to find in himself. And it made him want more. Want more in a way he’d avoided for a long damned time.

  He...wanted to feel.

  That was a shock. But seeing Jamie, that fire in her, it reminded him of what it had been like to really want something. To really care.

  To live a life that went past just being lost in a haze of the roaring crowd, strong whiskey and easy touch of the newest buckle bunny who’d set her sights on him.

  To want something bigger. More.

  “Let’s get the horse secured into a paddock, and we’ll give her a few hours. Then why don’t we do some evaluation.”

  “Sounds good to me,” Jamie said.

  When they got back to the barn, Jamie took responsibility for their new acquisition, and Gabe went off to see to some of his own chores. He was sitting in the office, making some phone calls regarding potential incoming horses, when the door opened.

  He didn’t know why, but he was half expecting it to be Jamie, so when it proved to be Hank, he was surprised. “Can I help you?” he asked his father.

  “I figured I would come out and check on your changes,” Hank said, stuffing his hands in his pockets and leaning against the door frame.

  “I didn’t think you would care much about the changes I’d made.”

  “Why do you think that? I’m the one who asked you to take the helm around here.”

  “Sure,” Gabe said, “but this isn’t what you wanted me to do.”

  “You’re in your thirties now. It’s the kind of work you do, whether or not I wanted you to do it back then. There’s no fight to have about it.”

  Gabe gritted his teeth. “Sure.”

  He regarded his father for a long moment, and the older man leaned back and crossed his arms. It took Gabe a moment to realize he was leaned back in his chair, his arms crossed in just the same way.

  He relaxed his posture and rested his hands on his desk.

  “I wish you’d stick around here.”

  “Well, I’m probably not going to,” he said, looking at the computer screen and not at his dad, very much on purpose.

  “What are you waiting for? Are you waiting for a
career-ending injury? The right woman?”

  “No. But you’re right. The rodeo is what I do. I made my choices, and I might as well see them through.”

  He’d done it to hurt Hank back then. To prove to him that he couldn’t control his life, and to prove to himself that he could do something valuable.

  His mother had wanted him in the rodeo. Hank hadn’t.

  The choice had seemed clear to him.

  But along the way he’d lost that clarity. The reason he’d gone into the rodeo in the first place.

  He’d become a rodeo star, and he’d found ways to revel in it.

  “Trust me,” Hank said, “you hang in there too long and all you end up doing is being a shadow of your own glory days. It’s not the most exciting way to burn out.”

  “I think I’ll skip the lecture, thanks. I’m not sure you’re the best person to go telling people when to quit.”

  “Do you have something to say to me?”

  His father seemed put off by Gabe’s hostility, and Gabe supposed that was fair enough. It wasn’t like they had ever had the most contentious relationship. The protectiveness Gabe felt toward his mom had always made it thorny with his dad. But more or less, Gabe kept it civil when the two of them were together.

  “I don’t have anything to say.”

  “I saw your new hire out there working today. She’s a pretty thing.”

  Immediately, the blood in Gabe’s veins turned to ice. “That’s not something you should be noticing.”

  “I’m sorry. You noticed her first, I take it?”

  “No, Dad. Because unlike you, I don’t fuck around with women that I hire. I don’t fuck around with women when it isn’t appropriate, and whether or not I want to doesn’t come into it. I hired her because she’s qualified to work with the horses. No other reason.”

  Hank raised his hands in a defensive gesture. Like somehow Gabe was the asshole. “I’ve been faithful to your mother for the past fifteen years. I wasn’t stating intent.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that I was supposed to trust you had indeed kept your vows after so many years of not doing it.”

  “Is this about McKenna?” Hank asked. “I’m doing the best I can to do the right thing. I can’t change the past. But it was a mistake that I made twenty-seven years ago, Gabe. And I never claimed to be a saint before then. It’s not like you didn’t know.”

  If only it were just McKenna.

  If only his dad’s inability to control his damn self weren’t such a formative part of Gabe’s life. But it was.

  And of course Hank would never realize that. Because he never really seemed to understand how deep his harmless little oopses cut the people who loved him.

  Who depended on him.

  “No, I knew. You are who you are,” Gabe said. “And I can’t hate you for it. If I could have, I would’ve started a long time ago.”

  And I’m too damned much like you for my own peace of mind.

  But he didn’t say that last part. And he wasn’t. He did have control. Gabe hadn’t gotten married. That was the bottom line. While his dad had gotten married to his mom when he’d never seemed to want to keep any of his vows.

  “Don’t think I haven’t noticed that it’s been different over the past couple of months.”

  “I’m just finding my feet, trying to do what you asked me to do.”

  “I’m not going to be around forever,” Hank said. “So whatever you think I’m doing to you, whatever you think I’m playing at...it’s not that. It’s just that this place is going to be yours someday.”

  “Not Jacob or Caleb’s? Not McKenna’s?”

  “They’ll get a piece of it. But you’re the one whose heart is in it, Gabe. Don’t think I don’t know that.”

  “No,” Gabe said. “My heart was in it about twenty years ago, but you made sure that I learned some hard lessons about that.”

  “So you don’t want to? You want me to sell?”

  Anger clutched at Gabe’s chest. “No, I don’t.”

  Whatever he didn’t know, he knew that. This conversation was like physical therapy for his soul and he wasn’t sure he liked it. He’d shut down that part of him that loved this place. Now his dad was exposing it, digging it up again. Offering it to him like he wasn’t the one who’d killed his dream in the first place.

  Maybe in Hank’s world this was an apology.

  But in Gabe’s it wasn’t enough.

  “I’ll keep the ranch going,” Gabe said. “And you stay the hell away from Jamie Dodge.”

  In the end, he wasn’t sure if he’d said that last part to his father, or to himself.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  JAMIE WAS ANTSY to work with Gem.

  Gem.

  It was about the perfect name, as far as Jamie was concerned. Since this horse definitely had value to her. An unexpected gift in the middle of everything she was striving for.

  In the end, she decided to skip lunch and see how Gem was faring.

  The horse seemed content in the paddock, well-fed and happy. And when Jamie got her out and started to put a bridle and saddle on her, she acted like it was routine.

  She paid close attention to whether or not the horse was jumpy, or nervous, and she seemed to be neither.

  She let her out into the arena, and walked her in a circle, letting her familiarize herself with the area. Then she led her around the barrels that were set up, letting her get familiar with the pattern. Jamie wasn’t going to try to all-out race her immediately, but she figured she could jog the horse’s memory.

  Theoretically, this was what she used to do, so there was no reason that it would bother her now. It wasn’t at the hands of her former rider that she had experienced any kind of maltreatment.

  After she was confident in the horse’s state of mind, Jamie decided to mount. The horse took a couple of steps, like she was acclimating to something she hadn’t experienced for a while, but then steadied.

  “Good girl,” Jamie whispered, patting her on the neck.

  She began to walk her in a circle in the arena, then gradually increase the pace.

  And the barrels were tempting. So very tempting.

  She maneuvered her around one first, then another, going slowly. A grin broke out on her face. The horse’s movements were sure and smooth, and Jamie was feeling positive.

  The second time through, they increased the pace.

  She could feel the horse’s energy, pent up and ready to go. She knew this. They both knew this.

  She tapped the horse twice with her heels, moving her into a gallop. They went around the arena into circles, before Jamie moved her into the barrels, going quickly around each one.

  Out of the corner of her eye she caught movement down in the dirt, a digger squirrel that was skittering through the dirt, the little bastard.

  And the horse responded.

  Gem rose up on her hind legs. Jamie squeezed tight, almost managing to keep hold, but then she lifted her back legs and bucked up hard. The sudden, sharp burst of energy surprised Jamie and unseated her.

  She fell inelegantly to the side, scrabbling for purchase and not getting any. Then she fell down hard onto the top of a barrel, her hip bone connecting hard with the edge of the metal drum.

  She cursed, and found herself facedown in the dirt.

  She rolled away from the horse, doing her best not to take a hoof to any part of her body on top of anything else. Her hip ached, and slowly she became aware that her shoulder blade did, too.

  “What the hell?”

  She turned and looked up, seeing Gabe barreling toward her, his expression like a thunderstorm. He knelt down beside her, reaching his hand out and dragging his fingertips down her jaw on either side, and she couldn’t tell anymore if she was dizzy from the fall or if it had something to do with his firm,
sure touch. His hands were rough.

  And for the life of her she couldn’t figure out why she’d notice that, or why it made something resonate deep inside her.

  “Are you okay?” His voice went softer, gruff still, but there was no anger in it now. His blue eyes were blazing, and she felt an answering heat ignite in her stomach. His thumb was rough as it skimmed over her cheek and she felt it resonating through her body.

  He was looking at her. Not that he hadn’t looked at her before. But not like this. Not this close. “That was a hell of a fall, honey.”

  Honey.

  The word filtered through her veins just like that. Sticky and sweet.

  Her head went funny. All light and airy and she wondered if she’d hit it when she’d fallen. But she didn’t feel any pain there.

  When was the last time someone had asked if she was okay like that? When had someone worried about her over a fall?

  She was tough-as-nails Jamie Dodge. Her brother didn’t even realize she was lonely and needed his company for dinner.

  And Gabe was... Gabe was acting like she might be fragile.

  Her throat dried, her heart feeling even more bruised and tender than her hip.

  “I’m okay,” she said, more desperate to get away from him than she was certain that she was okay.

  She tried to stand, but her hip ached, the stabbing pain making her wobble.

  Gabe grabbed hold of her arm and held her suspended, up off the ground, but not quite on her feet.

  “I can stand up,” she said.

  He ignored her. Strong arms bracing her as he brought her to her feet, and held her firmly. She winced, pain shooting up through her hip.

  “I think it’s just going to be a seriously nasty bruise,” she said.

  “You got hit really hard,” he said.

  He reached out and put his hand over her hip right where she had connected with the barrel. The gesture shocked her so much she stood frozen. But his expression was neutral, and his touch was clinical in nature. He pushed against her as if he was waiting for her to cry out in pain, or something.

  But she didn’t.

  It hurt. It hurt badly and the pain rang through her bones like they were a gong that had been hit, but she wasn’t going to react.