Cowboy to the Core

by Maisey Yates

  Jamie seemed perfectly happy to be unreadable.

  A ball of prickles.

  At least, until she was naked. When she was soft and sweet underneath his body. Responsive and pliant and vocal.

  Yeah. His memories of that night were perfect.

  Until he got to the crying.

  He shook his head, shuffling the papers around on his desk in the rustic office. He’d been doing a lot of research and thinking a lot about his conversation with McKenna. And he was formulating some plans. But he wanted to talk to Jamie first.

  He’d shot her a quick text this morning telling her to meet him in the office, and she was due any minute.

  Jamie walked in without knocking, but it was less of a stride, and much more of a subdued walk.

  It was a subtle thing, but her entrance lacked her usual... Jamie.

  She was wearing her typical uniform. A pair of work jeans and a black tank top with a scoop neck. It didn’t show off much of her body, not thanks to the sports bra she wore underneath it. Now he knew she wore sports bras. He thought it was a tank top layer underneath the other one, but he’d been wrong.

  He knew what her breasts looked like, though. They didn’t spill up over the top of her shirt, but they were a perfect handful when he got her naked. Firm and sweet. Better than any dessert.

  He firmed up his jaw, not about to embarrass himself by getting hard for her in his office.

  He had limits.

  At least, he wanted to have them.

  “Hey,” she said.

  “Hey,” he responded.

  “So what are we doing?”

  “Jamie, I need you to help me. I need you to help me think bigger.”

  She frowned. “Why me?”

  “Because you think big. Look, here I am. You’re strong willed and you care a hell of a lot about these animals. You understand horses. I know you understand what they meant to people who are lonely. Who are afraid or aimless. I lost touch with that. For a long time, and you reminded me. And you’re exactly the person I want to help work on this project, because you never forgot. Because you know. You understand.”

  “Can I ask you...” She frowned. “Why are you thinking about something like this? It’s not like it’s going to make you a lot of money.”

  “Because there has to be more than that. I already know what money gets you. And I have it. I was raised with it. It never made my parents happy. Frankly, it’s never done a damn thing to make me happy.”

  “Well, not having it doesn’t make people happy, either.”

  “Maybe happy is the wrong word. Maybe what I’m looking for is something deeper.”

  She nodded, and he knew she understood the deeper.

  “I did some searching around,” he said. He turned his computer screen so that she could see it. “I found a place called Revival Ranch in Montana. They do equine therapy predominantly for soldiers that have PTSD. I thought that was pretty interesting. I also found a few equine facilities that do therapy for kids with autism. And then...”

  “What?”

  “Well, I read the story about a ranch where troubled boys got sent. An alternative to prison, basically. For nonviolent-type offenders. To teach them a skill. Teach them work.”

  “Motherless and fatherless kids,” she said softly.

  Gabe had both of his parents, she knew that. But there was a loneliness in him, and she knew he identified with that loneliness in those kids. In her.

  And he was right. Horses. Ranch work. It was the best thing. To fill a void with something that mattered instead of something that would just fade away.

  “Yeah,” he responded. “People who need to learn the honesty that you find working with your hands.”

  “I think you know what you should do.”

  “Will you help me? When... When you’re not gone... I’d like you to help teach them to ride.”

  “Well, you’ll be able to do that, too.”

  “I know. But you’re going to know just how to teach them, I know you will. You’ll know just which horse to put with which boy.”

  “It’s going to take some work,” she pointed out. “Where are they going to stay?”

  “Well, there’s going to be some building to be done. But I’m going to have a talk with my dad. I’m going to see what he’s willing to invest. And then... I’ve got my own money.”

  “Can I ask you something?” she asked.

  The fact that Jamie was asking for permission to ask him a question was strange in and of itself. Like she had suddenly sprouted some kind of nuance and sensitivity.

  “Sure,” he said.

  “If you didn’t love the rodeo, why were you in it? I mean, it’s not an easy life. And mostly, it’s not that lucrative or glorious. I mean, I guess it ended up being that way for you, but it isn’t for most people. It’s not like it’s a...path to being a CEO or whatever.”

  “Yeah,” he said. “And that’s what my dad thought I should do. You know, not a CEO, actually. But he wanted me to go to school. Like I told you already. He wanted me to do something with a guarantee.”

  “So you didn’t. And I guess that’s what I’m having trouble putting together. You still work here with him. You’re home all the time. You obviously love your family, or you wouldn’t be here. And I assume that you include your dad in that.”

  “Family is complicated,” Gabe said.

  “Yeah,” Jamie said. “I get that. I mean, I stayed at Get Out of Dodge for a lot longer than I should have. The relationship that I have with my brothers. With my dad... It’s not straightforward. They take care of me. At least, that’s what they think. That I need them. But I’ve always felt like maybe they needed me. I wanted to help, however I could. And I have. I helped Wyatt get the dude ranch changed and up and running. I’m part owner in it. I helped my dad with the chores when he was still there. I did my best to not let the fact that I was a girl be a drain. Not when they could have had another son to help out. Not when they could have had a mother.”

  “Jamie...”

  “Whatever. I’m not trying to sound pathetic. I’m just saying, I understand that families are complicated. And that sometimes things aren’t perfect, but that doesn’t mean you cut them out of your lives. It doesn’t mean that you quit going home. It doesn’t mean that you cut off association. I’m just curious. Because you’re one of the few people in this world that I’ve met that’s about as hardheaded as I am, Gabe Dalton. So I would figure that...it isn’t that you have a hard time telling your dad where to shove his edicts.”

  “I don’t. I didn’t. That was basically what I did when I joined the rodeo. What I wanted to do was something with horses. What I wanted to do was get the equine facility established here on the ranch. I think with more information... The idea that I have now is probably what I would have arrived at then. But I’m talking... I was fifteen. I was neglecting school. Heading straight out to ride as soon as I got home. I made it my life. I lived it. I breathed it. This land, those animals.”

  A soft smile came over Jamie’s face. “Yeah. I mean, I relate. That was basically me. Being inside and doing school...torture. When I could be out riding. I’d always rather do that.”

  “And what did Quinn Dodge think of that?”

  “He liked it. My dad and I... It’s not like we talk. It’s not like we sit around and share our feelings. He’s one of those men... He’s filled with wisdom. But like, little pearls of them I think it takes a few years for him to cogitate on. They come out of strange moments, not in full conversations. And certainly not frequently. Mostly, he’s that strong, silent kind of man. Confident in his opinions, and in the fact that the work he does is good. But opinionated.”

  “And the two of you connected over riding horses.”

  Jamie nodded. “Yes.”

  “Well, Hank and I didn’t. He wanted me
to pay better attention in school. He wanted me to get into a good college. He wanted me to have everything that he didn’t have. And when it was clear to him that I wasn’t going to fall in line, he took matters into his own hands.”

  She frowned. “What do you mean?”

  “He sold the horses. All of them. I loved the horses, and I wanted to make them my career. More than that, they were the way I dealt with the shit going on in our family home. I wanted to make that life my life. And since nothing he could say would get me to do it, he took them from me.”

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  THE WAY GABE spoke the words was almost mechanical. There was no emotion behind it, but Jamie felt something move through her, creating a rift inside her chest. The very idea of having a horse sold out from under you like that. She had loved the horse she had in high school. She’d been such a beauty. And she and her dad had spent hours riding together. When they couldn’t connect any other way, that was it.

  And... And Gabe’s had...

  “Wow,” she said. “I mean, you know, Quinn didn’t want Wyatt getting saddled with the ranch if it wasn’t going to be profitable. We struggled when I was growing up. But it was complicated. A lot of it was linked to my dad’s grief. To the fact that he was trying to balance being a rancher with raising four children. The fact that he ended up with me, all by himself, from the time I was three days old. But he would never have done that. Never.”

  “Hank is a hell of a character,” Gabe said. “And yeah, it’s complicated. But I had to let that go. I couldn’t have back what he took from me. But I also didn’t have to give him what he wanted.”

  “So you went into the rodeo to piss him off.”

  “Yep. I think...you know, I worried so much about being like him. I think he worried about it, too. In some ways I think I did just what he did to make him see how that looked. And then Jacob and Caleb followed me right on when they were eighteen. I don’t think they did it to make him mad. I think they did it because they were following their big brother. And that’s... Yeah, that pissed him off, too.”

  “What does pissed off look like with your dad?”

  “Oh, stony silence. For about two hours of a family barbecue. After which he’s drunk and forgets he’s supposed to be ignoring you, so he starts grumbling. He didn’t buy me a Christmas present for about three years, but that was pretty hollow since my mom bought me two and I didn’t care.”

  “He obviously didn’t stay mad.”

  “No, eventually he started coming to events sometimes. Mostly after I started winning a lot. The thing about my dad is he does reckless things. But he’s not vindictive. He didn’t sell the horses to get back at me. He did it because he thought he was removing an obstacle.” He shook his head. “I guess everyone just does their best.”

  Gabe didn’t look vulnerable, but Jamie could feel it, down beneath that hardened exterior of his. Because it reminded her a lot of hers.

  And suddenly...

  She wanted to take care of him.

  She wanted to make him feel good. Wanted to reach that place inside him somehow.

  He’d left her with a thousand questions on Saturday when he’d come to her house. And now a few of them had been answered. But it hadn’t simply satisfied her curiosity about him; it had just made her connection to him feel all that much more pronounced. Made her want to know even more. To get beneath his clothes. Beneath his skin somehow.

  And suddenly, it made her feel a little bit less vulnerable about the whole thing. Particularly because it made him more human.

  In the fact that it was suddenly not just about her, not just about her embarrassment, or the vulnerability she’d felt when the two of them had made love, she felt...

  She rounded the desk and came to stand in front of him. He was sitting in the office chair. It was an incongruous scene. This big, rough man who didn’t belong indoors at all sitting in front of a computer, his hat tipped back on his head, his jeans battered and dusty, his hands dirty and scarred from hard labor.

  She didn’t care for the computer. The office. Any of the fancy things.

  But she seemed to care a lot for him. She bit her lip, and then grabbed hold of the back of his chair, bending down and kissing him, the way that he had done at her house Saturday. Quick. Decisive.

  She straightened. “Could we...? Could we maybe have sex again?”

  He growled and pulled her down onto his lap. “Jamie,” he said, “I thought you weren’t going to ask.”

  “Well, I didn’t figure I’d have to. I thought maybe you would take the initiative.”

  “I didn’t know if you wanted to.”

  “Well, neither did I. So I guess that’s fair enough.”

  “Tonight,” he said. “Come to my place tonight.”

  “Okay...”

  He cut that word off with a kiss. Deep and hard, his whiskers rough against her skin, his hand calloused and glorious as he cupped her cheek and took the kiss even deeper. When they parted, Jamie could barely breathe.

  “Tonight,” she said, peeling herself up off him, her legs unsteady.

  “Yep,” he said.

  Jamie backed out of the room and headed down the center of the barn, making her way to the stall that contained the horse she was going to work with today.

  Her head was filled with Gabe. Her body affected by his touch. By the way it had felt to be in his arms. It was like she could still feel it.

  It was hard to believe that only a couple of weeks ago Gabe Dalton hadn’t occupied much of her mind one way or the other. Now he was large. Just like he’d felt in her house.

  The world around her head seemed foreign for quite some time now.

  Her own self felt foreign now.

  But Jamie Dodge only knew how to do one thing. To keep moving forward.

  And so she would. No matter what.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  GABE HADN’T BEEN to see Jacob in a while.

  The asshole’s cabin was so difficult to get to that Gabe didn’t often bother with the twenty-minute drive straight up the side of a mountain. Or maybe that was an excuse. Maybe what he was really avoiding was dealing with Jacob’s dark moods.

  Sometimes the idea of trying to draw Jacob out seemed like too much work. More and more while he was figuring out the direction to take the ranch. Figuring out his situation with Jamie.

  But now he wanted to talk to his brother about this new ranch idea. He wanted his brothers on board with him before he went and spoke to Hank about it.

  He put his truck in Park and killed the engine, walking up to the front of the modest cabin and knocking twice. He looked around at the barren landscape around the place. The rocky clearing he stood in that looked over the edge of a cliff face, the trees behind the cabin that shrouded the whole thing in shade. There was a maul and a log out front with split pieces of wood all around it. A stack of kindling up by the door.

  Jacob was turning into a little bit of a hermit stereotype. Not that he didn’t see him; it was just that he typically only came down for family gatherings. He seemed to avoid spending alone time with him or Caleb. Or at least, with Gabe. For all he knew, Caleb and Jacob continued to have the same relationship they’d always had.

  He doubted it, though.

  The door jerked open, and there was Jacob.

  “How long has it been since you shaved?” he asked his brother.

  “I grew a beard,” Jacob said, touching his facial hair. “Shaving is kind of counter to that objective.”

  “Sure,” he said. “Can I come in?”

  “Why don’t we talk out here,” Jacob said, stepping out onto the porch. “Can’t beat the view, anyway.”

  He gestured over to a couple of lawn chairs, one yellow and one red, set up and facing the view. Craggy, gray granite creating a jagged frame around the staggering layers of green beyond. T
he sharp edges of dark pine trees and the soft, feathered greens of the fields.

  The silence was like a presence. Thickening the air and settling over Gabe’s skin.

  He preferred a little noise. Horses snorting and beating their hooves on the dirt. This silence seemed to create a buzz in his ears.

  “Have you ever actually had anyone over to sit in these?” he asked.

  “No,” Jacob said. “I just thought that I should get two. It seemed like the thing to do.”

  There was a cooler sitting in between the chairs. “You have beer in that?”

  “I do,” Jacob said.

  He went and sat, flicking open the top of the cooler and pulling out a couple of bottles of beer. Gabe decided to go ahead and sit down and accepted the cold bottle, popping it open using the plastic arm of the chair.

  “I want to talk to you about something,” Gabe said.

  “Well, I figured, seeing as you drove all the way up here.”

  “How much longer are you figuring you’re going to smoke-jump?”

  Jacob took a long pull on his beer. “As long as there are fires.”

  Gabe bit back some irritation. “All right. Fair enough. But do you want any other work any other part of the year?”

  Jacob looked around. “To help cover all of my living expenses?”

  “I figure you’re not going to stay up here forever.”

  “I actually figure that I like it up here. If you think this is some kind of temporary phase...”

  “I think you feel guilty. I think you feel guilty about Clint, but you’re not going to find an answer up here.”

  Jacob chuckled. “That’s pretty rich coming from you. I think you’re still looking for answers in the rodeo. Doesn’t matter where you hide, it’s still hiding.”

  Gabe rocked back in his seat. “Is that what you think?”

  “Wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t.”

  “Well, as it happens, I’m quitting.”

  “You’re quitting?”

  “Yes. Because you’re right. I don’t want to do it. What I want to do is establish a ranch for troubled youths. I want to have classes and work programs. On-the-job training stuff. And I think that it would be good to have you around to help. You could help with horses, you could help with basic first-aid training and a whole lot of other things. I think it would be good to spend some time talking about what kind of jobs are available to people who might not have access to college. Figure out ways to facilitate getting the older kids into work-training programs.”