by R D Blake
This Ilena’s hand left his and dropped again to her middle, her eyes following its path to look down upon where her child lay hidden. Clearly, Teton saw how the truth of it wounded her. Made her doubt Erick — and doubt herself.
“Do not! Do not think it, my lady. He chose you. He could have had any woman. I saw all whom he refused, who sought him out, and who used all of their guile to entice him; but he wanted none of them. It is true, he is now of the highest nobility, of the royal family, but he has never wished for any of it. This — ” Teton looked about the kitchen. “This is what he has always desired. He has fought against his heritage all the years I have known him. He even begged me to take his place and become the next king.”
A rumble rose out of Teton’s chest. “And that I desire less than all men, save your own husband.”
But this young woman fought back against him and his words, though her eyes remained downcast. “No, no, he cannot be my husband,” she replied, shaking her head in a secret sorrow. “For what other purpose are you here but to call him back to where he should be — where duty and what is right and proper would claim him to live?” She stood and began to walk slowly away from Teton down into a hallway which led deeper into the ruins. But she stopped before the doorway. “Earlier I asked you of that creature that by your loyalty you allowed Erick to rescue through your loss in that glade. In the early days after he brought her back to this place, I thought it better that he should have let her die up in those southern hills and now I think that true again.” And then she was gone.
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Over the first months that Marta had remained secluded within the wilderness, hidden away from the world, the church and men, and that one man, she had accepted the quiet, the serenity, the peace and the solitude that seemed to shroud this small clearing in the forest. Here, she could be invisible to the world, if not God Himself: a no one as she had long wished to be. In this place, if her prayers would be answered, she would die and Marta would be no more.
Not at the first but as the days and weeks passed by, more and more often, animals and birds came to abide with her. None showed any fear and it seemed even those that were deemed predators; the foxes; the owls; and the hawks would act against their natural instincts and suffer no harm to be done to the mice, the hares and others of their ilk while they rested and foraged and gambolled about in this glade. At times, in some manner, they lifted Marta from the black condemnation of herself — for they seemed to say to her that the evil done to Ilena no longer mattered. But Marta refused to accept such forgiveness and whenever she found herself caught up in a lightness of spirit she would go to her knees in prayer for long hours apologizing to God for her indifference to the cruelty she had inflicted upon her sister.
But as the weeks had turned into months, Marta came to trust these creatures, and they accompanied her on her travels about the glade as she gathered herbs and roots, acorns, and other foods as would be found in the nearby forest. But a scant two weeks ago they had led her into the farther woodlands away from her home, and by some means, she had been unable to find her way back. Yet the animals in their fashion guided her to shelter and food and places of warmth despite the cool of the late fall in this unknown part of the wilds.
Finally, the day came when at their urgings Marta followed them once more. Within a few hours she was again back at her hovel, but she could now perceive some of these creatures’ purposes in taking her away. Her refuge had been found and evidence of men and their horses were obvious about the clearing. Now, Marta knew she must leave. But could there be another place of safety for her? After she had prayed for several hours, only asking God to use her as He so wished, she turned to the animals and birds that had sat or perched nearby. “Lead me where God wills to send me.”
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Teton sat at the table in silence regarding the cold bowl of stew in front of him. His hunger had left him. He still did not understand Ilena’s last words. But that was not what truly troubled him. And when Erick strode into the kitchen in the midst of his hunt for his wife, Teton saw his lord perceive exactly what had happened. “She knows.” Teton could only reply with a downcast nod unable to look further at his master. “And she has accepted it in the manner I feared.” Then he rushed off down the hallway by which his wife had retired.
Teton pushed the stew away and closed his eyes and prayed — praying for forgiveness: from his lord, from this woman whom Erick loved, and for peace and understanding. It was some time before he became aware of another presence in the room brushing up against him. Teton fell back off the bench when he opened his eyes to discover a great black bear licking the remains of the stew out of his bowl. A bear bigger than he had ever seen before! Frantically, he looked about for something to defend himself with, but finding nothing, he scrambled backwards, seeking to rise to his feet.
But the black beast ignored him and after a few more long licks, he cocked his head toward the far hallway and it seemed as if he was listening in on whatever might be occurring beyond those walls. Then he turned and his beady eyes took on a look of sadness, shaking his great head in such a manner that acknowledged a grief that matched Teton’s own. Soon after, the beast left the table to shamble over to where Teton had wedged himself up against the hearth, now brandishing a poker in his great mitt of a hand.
The disdainful look that appeared on the bear’s face told Teton all. This great creature in front of him thought Teton a fool if he thought such a “reed” would delay him in any way if the bear sought to bring him any harm. With a shake of his hairy head and a deep sounded chuff, the animal went down on his haunches as if he was a dog. Understanding came slowly into Teton’s mind. This was no wild creature but one much like the wolves and other wild animals about this place and he perceived that this beast posed no threat to him or to anyone who came in peace to this place.
So the giant tossed aside the poker and allowed himself to slip down the stony wall to rest on the floor. The bear moved closer and by his motions gestured that he would permit Teton to touch him and the giant gently began to scruff the bear behind his ears. “So, great one, now I have truly made a mess of things. I love him and I perceive that he loves her, and if I am not amiss, you do as well. So what counsel can you give me to set things aright? How do we aid them in finding healing in what transpires even now between them?”
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She found him out by the crumbling walls of the upper barricades watching the setting sun. Teton had retreated here after having seen no sign of Erick or her since they had both left the kitchen. After the bear had departed a few hours ago, leaving him with no advice, Teton had sought for a new refuge fearful of intruding in any fashion if he would overhear an exchange of sharp words.
But in Ilena’s presence before him Teton could see nothing of how things had gone between his lord and this woman. Her face was closed to him as she turned to stand beside him looking out on the darkening fields. “He has admitted to the truth,” were her stark, bare words. There were too many tones of meaning in that scant phrase that Teton despaired of ever determining what it might entail. But she left him little time to begin that endeavour for she commanded him again. “Tell me of your friendship. Tell me of Erick.”
Even to one of Teton’s slow thoughts, he comprehended that this was a test — not of him but of Erick. Ilena had not come yet to trust his lord again. Not yet. Teton understood that only the truth would satisfy her, and so he began to relate all that he knew of the king’s adopted son since the day they had first met each other, still but toddlers those many long years ago, and of the bond that had bloomed between them even then.
The night was two hours pass the dusk before she began to ask him further questions having only listened to his low, rumbling tones. After yet more hours had passed by, Teton knew by the matters of which they now spoke, that Erick had passed the test. Ilena wished only to know more of the man who called her “wife.” The full moon had risen and passed its apex in
the sky when she prepared to take leave of him. “And what has he said of me?” she asked at the last.
“There has naught been much time this past day and night, my lady,” Teton answered, hesitant to broach again the rift he had caused, however unintentionally at her behest and command. “Only that he loves you but that was not in words.”
He could not see her face in the darkness though her eyes gleamed in the moonlight. “I used to stand up here wishing both that he would not return and yet praying he would.” Turning quickly to face him, she asked: “Does that make any sense to you?”
“Not much has had any sense this day,” Teton admitted sheepishly. “That bear most of all.”
That earned him a laugh from her and Teton hoped that meant all would be well between Erick and herself. But she pressed him again. “What think you?”
“I know not the love you hold for him and he for you. That blessing and curse has not yet found me.”
Teton heard a sharp intake of breath. Had he misspoke again? Undone all that seemed to have finally gone aright this night? She remained silent for many moments and it worried him. “I think you see it clearly, Teton — most of all of the three of us. Erick saw through the curse because he came to love me. And he sought to end that curse for that love.” Ilena moved closer and gripped his thick arm with her hand. “For you see, Teton, you and Erick both worked to save me that spring day; for I was that creature whom Erick carried away from you.”
Then she left him to believe the impossible.
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Three days later, Teton rode alone departing from the vale and he carried many things away with him. Contrary to his thinking ere he came to these northern lands, the least of importance was a message from Erick to the king. Teton knew not what it contained, but after admitting reluctantly to Erick that his adoptive father was aware that he was alive (for Teton’s own father had done the deed during the summer months having concluded that it would be a greater disservice to the king to keep it secret any longer — and that news had brought such a surge of energy to the old man it had been as if he had been reborn), his old and dearest friend had accepted that confession without rancour and had written a missive to be given to their sovereign solely for his own eyes. But more importantly, Teton felt he had learned more of this world and of both the good and evil that existed side by side within it — but chiefly what Teton treasured most was what he had learned of Ilena and of his own lord and master. And though he sensed that much between Erick and Ilena had been renewed, Teton believed that Erick’s royal position still troubled his wife.
Now he was being sent away and Teton did not know for how long. He had protested with great vigour that he did not wish to leave now that he had been finally reunited with his liege unless Erick accompanied him, but his lord had brokered no such arguments and had in the end used his old authority to insist that Teton still had a duty to the realm and to the king he served. And so Teton had submitted amidst a great grumbling that matched, perhaps over matched, the same of the large black bear who at the moment was shambling along beside him escorting him from these lands. The magic of this place and of this beast made another impression upon him. His horse should have been unnerved by the presence of such a wild creature, but his mount simply paced along as if this great beast was just another companion of its same ilk.
Finally, they came to the edge of the forest and Teton bowed to the bear. “I need not say it, my friend, but please do all that is within your power to keep them safe until I return. And I thank you for all you have done to save them both. And odd as it may be to say, I will miss you too. Fare you well.”
The bear simply huffed at him and then turned as if to go back to his duties within this hidden and magical vale.
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Marta did not understand it. After much wanderings over many days the birds had led her out to a road. For the last week she had traveled upon it, starting at every chance meeting with others. She had kept the cowl of her hood low over her head making every attempt to hide her face. Though her robes were tattered and worn, they could not hide the truth that she had been of the church. She only hoped that those whom she came upon would only think that she had taken a vow of both poverty and of silence, for she responded not to any greeting given to her by the few who crossed her path.
But now she sat by the roadside for her legs had grown weary, and she did not know what she was to do about her shoes. They were worn beyond repair and she foresaw that soon she would have to go barefoot, and already the ground had grown cold with the near passing of the autumn. More than once over the last few days, frost had tinged the grass along the edge of the road.
Some time earlier, she had taken off her footwear and was massaging her feet when she heard the sound of a horse drawing near and observed a giant of a man leading it as he turned a sharp corner in the road not much farther ahead of her. Marta donned her shoes once more and grimaced as she rose to her feet, making ready to leave and hide back in the forest. But she was suddenly hailed by the traveller and knew it would appear foolish to attempt to seclude herself. Sitting down again, she thought the man would simply pass her by; but he did no such thing. Stopping near her, he placed a long lead on his mount and allowed it to begin to graze. “My steed has journeyed far with me this day, more than I deem I should have asked of it. It is weary, and truth be told, I am too, despite the pressing need upon me.” Marta gave him no reply; but he ignored her silence and spoke on, as he readied a camp for the evening.
Since he was intent on staying here, she was not, and Marta rose to her feet to continue on for a few more miles. “Do not go, Sister. For I perceive you are of the church and I would invite you to share a meal with me and to pray with me this night, for I have much — much to give thanks to God for. And I have been alone in my thoughts for several days and would welcome both your company and your faith beside mine.”
Marta had not eaten all day and little the day before. The animals had not brought anything to her this morning and had been in scant attendance since yesterday’s noon. And she thought it unlikely they would make an appearance with the close of this day but one more hour away. Then the darkness and the cold of the night would fall upon her: one she predicted would be the bitterest she had thus far endured. And already the provisions he had drawn out of his pack pulled at her hunger. “Do not fear me, Sister. I would not harm anyone of the church. That would be a great sin and I would tell you that these woods hold danger and I would rue it much if any harm came to you. Rest. I will prepare all and bring it to you, if you choose to remain where you are.”
And by his gentle words and the temptation set before her, Marta sat again.
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Later, against her will, his fervent prayers drew Marta to join him by the fire and kneel beside him. While she prayed in silence, she overheard his glad praises though she did not understand all of what he said in his thanksgivings: only that he had found a lost friend, one whom he greatly loved, and of the blessings that he had seen in this man despite his humble and meagre circumstances — and of the contentment he now possessed despite the fact that he had given up much wealth and status to seek something of greater value to him. And then this giant spoke of this man’s wife: of the love this man held for her and all he had surrendered and sacrificed to end her suffering, to free her from what had bound her to a life no woman or man should ever have been asked to endure though this giant admitted that God in His Sovereignty decided upon such matters. But he gave God all the praise that this woman had been freed from the curse that had bound her in a body none could love — none save for his friend who had seen into her and had intuited the beauty within — who was now free again by God’s Grace.
Marta froze in the midst of her own prayers: unable to think, to comprehend, to believe in the impossible. She could not help herself and gripped the man by his huge forearm, twisting herself to kneel in front of him. “Tell me! Oh, tell me. What is her name?” Oh! She
both needed and feared for the answer! God would not have kept Ilena alive. Not all these long years! Not with all her prayers begging Him to have given her sister an early death, to spare her the suffering. No! Marta begged God even in this moment that this giant’s answer would be otherwise.
He looked at her first in surprise — perhaps at the ending of her silence or at the frantic pleading in her eyes. Then with some glimmering of understanding he answered: “Her name I can tell you but not his. I am bound in that matter, Sister. She is named Ilena.”
Marta fell to the ground before this giant, unmindful of the heat of the nearby fire; for all that she had prayed for, begged for, pleaded for — all her sins had only brought her sister sorrow beyond all endurance. And the blackness of the night was nothing in comparison to the darkness that found Marta that evening.
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When she awoke, Marta discovered herself wrapped firmly within a thick blanket resting upon a bed of soft ferns and food was cooking on the nearby fire. She looked about and saw the giant toting a flagon of water toward where she lay. Rousing herself further, Marta sat up keeping the blanket loosely about her; but the man said nothing, simply leaving the water near her side and then went back to working on whatever was being heated upon the fire. Marta wasn’t certain she understood this man: only that he possessed knowledge that she must have. Her cowl had slid down off her head during the night. Or had he chosen to pull it back to see her face? Marta was fearful that he might know who she was. But he had his back to her and continued to work in silence as if it was now he who pretended to have taken a vow.
