Hot and Bothered

by Jennifer Bernard

He turned to her with a look of such heat, it would have melted whatever snow was in the neighborhood. “You look unbelievable. I’m not exaggerating. My heart nearly stopped when I first saw you.”

  The best part was, he really meant it. Only Ben, her sweet man, could look at her with that much devout appreciation. She interlaced her hand with his. “Something tells me I could be here naked and you’d be just as happy.”

  “Obviously. Well, not here here. In a bedroom here.”

  “I happen to know where all the bedrooms are, by the way. Just for future reference.”

  His eyes sparkled down at her. They looked so endlessly kind, so full of heart. “You know it was always one of my fantasies to get you alone here. We always hung out at my house, or at the beach, or in your car. Or my car. Never here. This was like the forbidden palace.”

  “Oh ho, so you want to break the old no-boys-in-the-bedroom-or-anywhere-else rule?”

  “Absolutely. Doesn’t even have to be a bedroom. Isn’t there a walk-in closet we could mess up? Or a library where we could shake some books off their shelves?”

  His naughty grin had her inner thighs clenching with desire. Really, it took only one sexy look from those playful eyes of his to make her want him. Right now, she wouldn’t mind sneaking behind a fake birch tree piled with fake snow and kissing the breath out of him.

  Luckily, they were interrupted by a group of Jupiter Point Hotshots. “How did you get invited to this thing?” Ben teased them. “It’s supposed to be power players only.”

  Sean Marcus jerked his thumb at Rollo, whose big, bear-like form was stuffed into a tuxedo. “Rollington Wareham the Third here made us come.”

  “I wasn’t coming in here without backup,” Rollo muttered. “And Brianna refused because they don’t buy her flowers. She told me to take pictures of every different kind of arrangement they have here. I feel like a spy.”

  “I’ll do it.” Julie smiled at the man, who she knew only slightly. Rollo came from a family of East Coast billionaires, so it made sense that the Reinhards would invite him. Of course, they didn’t know that he preferred hanging out with his firefighter buddies and camping and hiking—not to mention the love of his life, Brianna. “I’ll be your inside man.”

  Finn was the only one of the crew who looked comfortable in this atmosphere, with his crisp white dinner jacket. Not even the scar that ravaged the left side of his face detracted from his smooth, sophisticated style. He’d grown up in Hollywood, so this was probably old hat. “Rollo promised us all burgers and beer if we came and held his hand.” He grinned at Rollo, who shrugged off his teasing. They were probably all used to it, since they were as close as brothers, at least according to Suzanne.

  “Aren’t you all tough, strong firefighters?” Julie asked innocently. “What’s a party compared to a wildfire?”

  Rollo ticked off reasons on his fingers. “A, the dress code’s a lot more comfortable at a wildfire. B, the trees are real.” He glared at the closest fake birch. “That thing just ain’t right.”

  Sean picked up the thread. “C, it’s easier to make conversation when all you need to talk about is wind direction.”

  “You guys are big whiny babies,” Finn said. “Are you saying you’d rather be in the black somewhere eating MREs instead of a portobello goat cheese puff?” He popped an appetizer into his mouth.

  “Yes,” said Rollo promptly. “Do they have any MREs here?”

  Ben and Julie shared a glance of amusement, the way they always used to when they witnessed something that tickled their sense of the absurd. “You guys are breaking my heart,” Ben told them. “At least I have my girl with me.” He hugged Julie with one arm.

  She melted against him. His girl? She could never get enough of hearing that.

  “Lisa’s here, but she had to help one of the catering crew. First-aid emergency.” Finn’s face lit up at the mention of his fiancée.

  “Evie’s here too. She offered to take photos for Mrs. Reinhard,” Sean explained. “She’s focusing on candid shots, so don’t even think about relaxing. You might get caught on camera picking your nose or something.”

  Everyone else chuckled, but Ben’s expression sharpened to hyper-alertness. “Any idea where Evie is?”

  “No, but I can find out.” Sean dug in the pocket of his black trousers for his cell, then fired off a text. “She’s by the bar,” he said after an answer pinged. “She says the official cocktail of the ball is called a ‘Snowcone,’ basically a Slurpee with vodka.”

  “Thanks, man. Julie, I think there’s a Snowcone with our name on it. See you guys around. Don’t burn anything down.” Ben tugged her in the direction of the bar.

  “Ben, what are you doing?”

  “If Evie’s running around taking pictures, maybe she’s seen my mother. It’s too crowded here, I’m afraid I’ll miss her.”

  But when they found Evie at the bar, she said she hadn’t seen either Janine or Cassie. It broke Julie’s heart to see the disappointment wipe the smile off Ben’s face.

  “You would recognize my mother, right?” he asked Evie as he ordered two Snowcones from the bartender.

  “I think so. What I remember most about her was her eyes, a lot like yours. Can I take a picture of your costume?” Evie lifted her camera and snapped a photo.

  Ben blinked, and Julie wished she could delete that one. It probably looked too much like a shot of someone in the process of getting his heart broken.

  Evie must have thought the same thing, because she lowered the camera, her lovely face more serious now. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to make light of anything. Was your mother planning to be here tonight? I didn’t realize she was back.”

  “It’s fine,” Ben said in answer. “She probably just hasn’t arrived yet. Come on, Juls, let’s dance.”

  Julie barely managed a sip of her Snowcone before he tugged her toward the dance floor. The ballroom—yes, the Reinhards actually had a ballroom—had been transformed into an enchanted fairyland, with shimmering streamers dangling overhead. They were cleverly constructed so the lights made them look like a sparkling snowstorm in motion. An a cappella group dressed in stocking caps and winter scarves were currently singing a peppy rendition of “Winter Wonderland.”

  Ben swung her into the kaleidoscope of dancers. She didn’t have much experience with waltzing, or whatever this was. So she just held on to Ben and let him guide her movements. It should have been romantic and breathtaking, and it was, except for the anxious way Ben checked out every new arrival, every entrance and exit.

  Maybe they should have just stationed themselves at the front gate and skipped the party.

  They danced, then went back for more Snowcones. They chatted with Merry, who was taking notes for a story in the newspaper. No Janine Knight. They danced again. They ate dainty crepes filled with cream. Still no Janine. They had more Snowcones.

  And the clock ticked toward midnight with no sign of the Knight women.

  Julie sensed the hope leaking out of Ben’s heart. His pace on the dance floor slowed, his shoulders sagged. Every time someone walked into the ballroom, his eyes darted in their direction, but less eagerly, ready for disappointment.

  Maybe Mrs. Knight had changed her mind. Maybe she’d tried to come, but discovered it was too difficult. Maybe her car had broken down.

  She wasn’t coming. Julie knew it in her bones. And she couldn’t bear to see Ben get crushed all over again.

  The a cappella group shifted to a slower song, “Baby It’s Cold Outside,” and she and Ben slowed until they were simply swaying in place. “How about we blow this Snowcone stand?” she whispered. “We could go somewhere and share some body heat.”

  He looked down at her blankly. Beneath his goofy ski goggles, his gray eyes held such a bereft look that her heart tumbled end over end, down a rabbit hole.

  And she knew, with a weird sense of homecoming, that she’d do anything for this man. That she loved him. That she’d never stopped loving him.

&nb
sp; And that now, she had a chance to be there for Ben the way she should have been twelve years ago.

  “I don’t…think she’s coming,” he said numbly.

  “Come on.” She took his hand and threaded a path through the guests. “Let’s go.”

  Outside, the sound of the party faded away as they ran across the lawn toward the makeshift parking area. She stopped to slip off her sandals, then raced barefoot the rest of the way.

  “Toss me your keys,” she called to him. “I’m going to drive.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you’re toasted. How many Snowcones did you have?” She didn’t give him a chance to answer. “Besides, it’s easier to talk when you’re not driving. And you’re going to talk.”

  He staggered a little on his way to the truck. She practically manhandled him into the passenger seat, then took the keys and slipped into the driver’s seat. She steered down the long cypress-lined drive, away from the twinkle lights and almost-melted ice sculptures.

  When they reached the main street, a two-lane country road with no streetlights, she finally spoke. “Okay, Ben. What’s going on? I’ve never seen you like this.”

  “There’s a lot you’ve never seen,” he muttered. “Because you left.”

  She tightened her hands on the steering wheel. “Yeah, I left. But this isn’t about me, is it? I wasn’t the only one who left. You’re angry with your mother, aren’t you?”

  “No.”

  Julie didn’t believe that for a minute. “She left you guys behind. She left Aiden, she left you. Of course you’re angry.”

  “I’m not fucking angry.”

  “Then why do you sound so angry?”

  “Because you’re holding me hostage in my own truck.”

  She jerked the wheel to the side so the truck veered onto the shoulder. She leaned over him and opened the passenger-side door. “Fine. Then get out. You might as well, because if you’re not going to tell me what’s really on your mind, what’s the point of all this?”

  He gave her a burning look, then flung himself out of the truck. He interlaced his hands behind his neck and tilted his head back. The night sky was so clear it seemed to be showering stars on him.

  Right now, he was probably wishing he was up there, in the sky, where he was happiest.

  And she was wishing she’d kept her mouth shut. What right did she have to demand that he talk? None. They were casual lovers and old friends. Former sweethearts. That didn’t mean he owed her anything, any explanation or baring of his soul.

  She dropped her forehead onto the steering wheel. A black sadness filled her. What was left for her and Ben? She had no idea.

  She felt a brush of air against her side, then his low voice sent a current of awareness through her. “It was that night. When Dad died. I let Mom down…and I hate myself for it.”

  23

  It took Ben a good five minutes to continue. Through his Snowcone buzz, the feeling of that night—raw and surreal, oppressive and wild, like an electrical storm during a summer heat wave—came back to him. The vision of his father’s bloodied body on the kitchen floor, the weight of knowing that the police were coming, and that someone needed to tell Mom before they did. And knowing that person had to be him, because Tobias was downstairs securing the house and talking to the police, and Aiden was only eight, and Cassie was only sixteen, and Will was away at law school. And even though his skin felt raw and flayed, as if it didn’t even belong to him, and his gorge rose every time he thought of what he’d seen in the kitchen, he’d trudged upstairs, stomach churning, the walls wavering as if they were in a Steven King movie. Red rum, red rum.

  Stop it. Just get to Mom. Hold Mom. I need Mom.

  And then those terrible, stumbling words. “Someone killed Dad. He’s dead, Mom. He’s really dead.”

  God, what a stupid way to break something like that to your own mother. He was crying, feeling stupid, like a little kid because he couldn’t stop blubbering and he wanted to be strong for her. He wanted to take care of her because that was what she needed, and what he always did. He was the one who could lighten her darkest moods.

  Not this time.

  He heard the sound of that slap before he felt it. It echoed through his parents’ bedroom like an endless church bell. Then she’d covered her face with her hands.

  “You hit me, Mom,” he’d said, in complete shock, not even thinking. Stating a fact.

  “She hit me,” he told Julie now. “After I told her about Dad. Then she tried to throw herself out the window.”

  “Oh God. What did you do?”

  “I dove after her. I grabbed onto her foot and wouldn’t let her go. It was crazy, like a tug of war. Her hands were on the windowsill and she was trying to pull herself away from me.”

  “Was the window open?”

  “No, she never got that far. The police showed up, their lights were flashing into the room. She kind of slumped onto the floor then and wouldn’t talk to me. I think she passed out. I was scared to leave her, but I ran out and found a female police officer. I told her what had happened, so she took Mom into custody for the night. They said it was for her safety. But the next time I saw Mom, she barely looked at me. It was like she didn’t remember any of that.”

  A warm hand covered his. “Maybe she didn’t. They probably gave her tranquilizers and who knows what.”

  Ben clenched his hand tighter, unwilling to take the comfort she was offering.

  “I just want to know that she’s okay. I want to see for myself. I really just want to see her with my own eyes and make sure I didn’t damage her for life with my clumsy-ass teenage words. I screwed up, right when she needed me most.”

  Gently, she untucked his fist so she could lace her fingers with his. “Ben, do you really think anything you said at that moment would have made a difference? Her husband had just been murdered. I remember when the police came to tell me about Mom’s accident. I’ll never forget it. They were nice, and they said all the right things, but it was horrible because I didn’t know them. At least the news came from you, someone she loved.”

  “But I should have done more,” he croaked. “I knew she was close to the edge. Maybe if I’d gotten more help for her, she wouldn’t have left. Maybe she would have stayed and Aiden would have grown up with his mother and Cassie wouldn’t have to be Mom’s full-time caretaker and you and me wouldn’t have lost twelve years.”

  Julie pulled her hand from his—maybe he was hurting her—and started the truck.

  “Are you in or out?” she asked him, indicating the passenger-side door.

  Confused, he pulled it shut. He didn’t know what she had in mind, but whatever it was, he was with her.

  She pulled onto the road. “First, your mother is alive. You were afraid she might harm herself that night, right? Well, she didn’t, so I say you did pretty well that night. You probably saved her life by telling the police.”

  “But she left. She didn’t jump out the window, but she left.”

  “But that’s not your fault. She’s responsible, not you. I knew your mom, Ben. I know how much she loved her kids. She must have been really desperate.”

  He stared out the window at the dark hills slipping past, the intense starry glow from overhead. The wind was picking up, causing the roadside trees to sway and the truck to vibrate. A storm was coming up, according to the latest marine forecast.

  “As for Aiden, he seems pretty good to me. He’s a gem. He’s in college, he’s got a girlfriend. And Cassie? You’re thinking the worst, but I know Cassie, and I can promise you, she doesn’t do things she doesn’t want to. Remember when your mom wanted to give her bangs? It was practically a nuclear standoff.”

  That was true. Cassie could be the most stubborn goddamn kid in the world. He actually smiled a tiny bit, remembering that.

  They reached a fork in the road, and she turned the truck toward the ocean. “Where are we going?”

  “I have a surprise for you. I got a text from Ca
rolyn, she said Felix fell asleep on the couch. So, I think this is a good time to address your last worry. That we lost twelve years, you and me.”

  “How do we do that?”

  “Simple. We make up for lost time.”

  24

  “The lifeguard shack? How’d you manage that?” God, it was just like old times. How many hours had he spent with Julie in or near this tower? It was essentially a one-room lookout post on stilts, almost like a tree fort.

  With a big grin, Julie led the way up the ladder-like steps and unlocked the padlock. They ducked through the entrance and into the cozy nest. It smelled like ocean air and tar, with a trace of coconut suntan lotion. That smell brought so many hot memories rushing back.

  Julie lit a hurricane lantern and hung it from a hook in the ceiling. Its dancing flame revealed a pile of blankets nested on the floor. The wind blowing off Stargazer Beach whistled through the gaps in the plywood boards. The ocean was likely a froth of whitecaps by now. Pretty soon storm clouds would be rolling in, and all the stars would be blocked out.

  But that wouldn’t matter, because he’d be snuggled inside with Julie where nothing could hurt them.

  “How long have you been planning this?” he asked her.

  She glanced his way, her eyes huge in the light from the lantern. “I happened to run into the firefighter in charge of the lifeguards here. I begged him to let me use it just for one night. I even told him why. He’s kind of a romantic, and he remembered how inseparable we used to be.” She smiled at him impishly. “I also told him I’d clean his house for free.”

  “I’ll help. I’m great at windows.”

  She laughed. “Don’t you worry your handsome ski-goggle head about it. I can clean houses in my sleep. Sometimes I do.”

  God, was he still wearing those silly things? Had he bared his heart, told Julie all about that night with his mom, while wearing ski goggles? He ripped them off his head and glared at them. “You’re dead to me,” he told the goggles, while Julie laughed again, then kneeled on the blankets.