You're Not Broken

by Hart, Gemma

  It looked impossible now but I would have to figure something out with Raze. Because I couldn’t leave. I was Jessa’s bodyguard.

  And fuck anyone who tried to touch her.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Jessa

  “Okay, Agent Todd said they’ll stop by tomorrow to talk about the new safety protocols,” Rowan said as he dropped the last of my bags into my room. “For now, he just wants you to get some rest.”

  I looked around the spacious suite. The large penthouse had a cool modern look with a huge view of the city below. I looked at the made bed with its rich purple sheets and pillows, missing the soft white of my own bed.

  Most of my life was spent in hotels and I treasured the few days a month I had at home. It was when I got to be in a place I could call my own with things that I had bought or collected over time, creating a life for myself. I felt cozy and warm at home.

  But now that was destroyed. Even that small bit of sanctuary had been taken from me and now I was back in a hotel. Even the nicest of penthouses couldn’t replicate the warmth and safety of a home.

  I knew outside the suite there would be a security team standing guard. I wondered how many people were still at my house. God, I could only hope to keep this away from the press but I knew the chances of that were slim. The story had probably already hit by now and I can imagine the number of photographers and reporters downstairs trying to get a word in with me.

  I watched Rowan as he organized my bags in my room. I had been told to pack for a longer stay than I might think I would need. Just in case. I was a good packer. I could pack for a week’s trip in less than twenty minutes. I was ready and out the door within an hour.

  Finished, Rowan stood by the bedroom door. “Hungry?” he asked. “Or want something warm to drink? Tea?”

  As soon as I had stepped out of my destroyed house, I had caught his gaze. He had been standing near the drive with Agent Todd. His rugged face, normally cool and calm was a storm of emotion. He looked like he wanted to rip apart a man while also looking immensely relieved to see me. Seeing him, my control had unwound itself. I had felt my resolve weaken and my shoulders shake. I was scared. And I had wanted Rowan.

  “Did you manage to take care of your business today?” I asked.

  Coming home from lunch, I had felt an immediate unease as we passed the front gates. The feelings had been confirmed once the house came into view. Agent Carson had immediately pushed me down in my seat, telling me to stay down and stay low.

  He had exited the car, gun in hand to sweep the property. My heart had never beaten so fast before. It was eerie and frightening to see a home destroyed. It felt like seeing a friend dead. While hunched in the car, I had half expected to hear gunshots and loud cries.

  But I had heard neither, luckily.

  The cops and agents had been called and soon the house swam with law enforcement.

  And all I could think about was Rowan. And where he was. And why he wasn’t with me.

  Rowan nodded jerkily as if not wanting to talk about it. “I did,” he said shortly.

  I had wanted to ask him about his business. I had wanted to ask what had been so important to take him away on a day I needed him most. But seeing the stiffness in his neck as he replied, the words died on my lips.

  I couldn’t ask. After all, that night in the kitchen almost felt like a dream. Maybe it had been the wine. Maybe the wine had made us think there was more than there had been. Maybe his phone call had just been an excuse to stop himself from making a big mistake. Maybe—

  Before I could finish the thought, I found myself pressed against a hard chest, strong arms wrapped around me, warming me through my chill.

  “I’m sorry,” Rowan said, his words muffled against my hair. I felt him hold me tighter. His hand was against the back of my head, gripping the nape of my neck. “I’m sorry, Jessa. I should’ve been here today and I wasn’t. I’m sorry.”

  All the fright, all the tension from trying to be calm and brave, all the danger, all the everything leaked out of me at his words. I felt tears sting my eyes. I tentatively grabbed at his shirt front with my fingers.

  “I needed you, Rowan,” I whispered thickly, tears gathering at my lashes.

  Rowan’s arms tightened around me as if my words had lashed across his back.

  “I know,” he said roughly. “I know. But I’ll be here from now on. I won’t go anywhere. I promise.”

  And that was all I needed to hear. I came completely undone. Hot tears poured from me as if I had a well inside me. I cried out the terror of not just today but for all the nights I had had to go to bed, knowing that there was someone out there in the world who wished me harm. I cried out for the loneliness that had pierced me today when I had been confronted with danger. And I cried because I was relieved to be back in Rowan’s arms and to hear him say the words I had so desperately needed.

  Carefully and with that breathless strength of his, Rowan picked me up and carried me to the large bed. He sat down with me on his lap. Tucking me close against him, he ran a thumb against each cheek, wiping away the copious tears.

  “I know you were scared today,” he said. And if anyone else had said it, I would’ve argued. I would’ve made a flippant joke about how their eyes must be bad if they thought that. But with Rowan, I let the truth out. I nodded.

  He held me close, his body heat warming me completely. “But you’re safe now,” he said. “I promise you that.”

  And I believed it. With Rowan, I always felt undeniably safe and protected. It wasn’t just his hard, built body that promised safety. It was also his perceptiveness with my moods. His caring with my body—I remembered the sandwich and juice he brought. His passion as he kissed me.

  I looked up. I caught his strong jawline and his dark stubble before he looked down with his steely gray eyes that almost looked like charcoal. This man had listened to me when I had needed an ear, had taken care of me when I hadn’t been able to, and had held me in a way my body had never experienced. He had called out something within me from the moment I had met him and now, I could hardly imagine a day without him.

  I ran my fingers softly against his rough stubble. His eyes closed at my touch.

  “I missed you,” I said softly, daring to say exactly what was in my heart.

  When his eyes opened, they were the stormy color of the sky during a rainstorm. He held my face, tilting me back so he could capture my lips in a drugging kiss that left me panting hard.

  “I missed you too,” he said roughly before taking my lips again. I clutched at his shirt, pulling myself closer to him, needing to be closer.

  Without breaking our kiss, he lifted me swiftly onto the bed, lowering me onto my back. He leaned his long body over me, pinning me down, his arms cradling my head.

  He looked down at me, his gray eyes holding a question. I could tell he wasn’t sure yet if I was ready. After all, my house had just been attacked and destroyed today. My stalker was becoming more violent. Danger was rising.

  But I lifted my head again, touching my lips against his, showing him my need. I wanted nothing more than to feel his body against mine. I was ready. I was more than ready.

  Once his question had been answered, his eyes darkened, his face igniting with a dangerous lust that made my heart leap.

  With swift movements, he took off my blouse and bra and his shirt. He swooped to capture my lips as his hands squeezed my breasts, molding them against his rough palms. I moaned, reveling in his touch.

  He teased my nipples, playing with them as they peaked against his fingers proudly. He gave each one a quick twist, making my body jerk in the sudden streak of painful pleasure.

  His head went down my neck, down towards my breast. His tongue swirled each sensitive nipple, driving my body temperature up higher and higher. I felt his teeth gently bite into a nipple and I gasped at the thrill of pain mixed with nerve melting pleasure.

  He reached down and pulled down my skirt and panties with one swift
yank. I felt the skirt buttons spray across the floor but I couldn’t care less. Feeling his rough hands against my thighs made me shiver in anticipation.

  Now completely naked before him, I looked up to see Rowan looking down my body. His eyes roamed slowly over my breasts and stomach and down towards my pussy where I knew my hidden wetness was growing.

  “You’re fucking beautiful, Jessa,” he said, his voice husky with his own need. He looked up at me, his gray eyes dark and piercing. “Too beautiful.”

  I had heard compliments on my looks for over a decade now. Magazines wrote headlines trumpeting my looks and actors would fall beside themselves trying to flatter me to gain a role or to snag me as a high publicity girlfriend. I had almost become inured to any praise that regarded my looks. It was always so overdone and nearly always sycophantic.

  But hearing Rowan’s deep voice say those words, I felt my cheeks heat in a girlish blush. There was nothing about him that said sycophantic. He was a man who spoke honestly and sincerely. He called it as he saw it. That was one of the reasons that had drawn me to him. His open bluntness made me know that I wouldn’t get lies or deception with him.

  He put a hand to my cheek. “You’re beautiful,” he said again before taking my lips in a sweet long kiss.

  As he sent my mind and body reeling with his mouth, his hand reached down lower till it found my wetness. I gasped as his fingers stroked down the cleft, sending a reeling hit of ecstasy.

  His fingers played expertly, teasing my pussy, encouraging it to swell and grow for him. His fingers swirled around my engorged clit, brushing near it, against it, but never on it. I moaned in desperate need.

  “Oh my god,” I cried as he plunged two fingers into me. I arched against him, my pussy clamping down on the invading fingers. My body trembled as it brushed against the edge of pleasure, so near I could taste it.

  “Don’t come yet, baby,” Rowan murmured against my ear. “Don’t come yet. We’ve just started.” He gave me a quick kiss before he moved down to replace his fingers with his tongue.

  My whole body shuddered as his tongue plunged into my wetness. I cried out again, my whole body taut with streaking pleasure. He was relentless. He swirled his tongue around my clit, flicking it lightly to make me cry out but not hard enough to make me come.

  His tongue stroked down wet cleft and up the other side. He burrowed lower and then plunged his tongue into me, letting his whole mouth close over my pussy. Then suddenly, he sucked hard against my clit.

  I screamed as I came with a shuddering hardness that felt like waves crashing against cliffs. Ecstasy snapped across my body like rubberbands and I felt my head drown in the drugging aftereffects of such a thundering orgasm.

  Rowan’s head bobbed back up before my wavering vision. My body felt completely drained. I had never come so hard in my life. It felt as if the hot lava core that had been burning inside me had been released and now my entire body was just melting in its oozing warmth.

  I saw a wry grin play at his lips. “Don’t tell me you’re already packing it in,” he said. “That was just round one.”

  I shook my head slowly, feeling like I was moving under water. “Can’t….” I said breathlessly. “Too much—”

  Before I could finish, Rowan’s hard and very sizeable cock plunged into me, completely sheathing him to the root. My eyes widened and my body tightened as I was stretched and filled.

  “You can take it, baby,” he murmured, biting my lower lip gently. “You can take it for me.”

  My pussy quivered around his hard cock. God, he was bigger than I had imagined! My entire body felt pierced and invaded.

  I groaned as he slowly pulled himself out. He thrust back in hard, making me jerk forward a little. My body shuddered at the fresh new attack. Pleasure and pain mixed through my and swirled around my pussy. I couldn’t believe the heat of rising arousal within me after having just come so hard.

  “God, you’re so tight, sweetheart,” he said, grunting as he thrust back into me again. I moaned loudly, wrapping my legs around his hips, urging him in deeper.

  I could almost feel his cock brushing against my womb. He was in so deep and he stretched me so wide. I reveled in it. I wanted to be his. To be taken.

  I felt Rowan’s hands on my hair, cradling me like I was something wonderful, as he thrust into me deeply. His hips created a rhythmic pace. Our breaths grew faster as his cock drove deeper and deeper into me.

  I clawed at his back, wanting to drive him even deeper into me. I wanted to be even closer. My body rose and rose with each thrust. I felt myself rising to that eventual fall, still unable to believe it was happening again so soon.

  Then Rowan angled his hips and thrust in again, hard, brushing his groin against my clit. That was all I needed. I arched and cried out as my entire body shook with the power of my orgasm.

  I clung to him as my body melted again and again under the power of my release. I was out of breath and damn near out of my mind. Rowan let the orgasm run through me before he picked up his pace, driving his cock in again and again at a punishing pace.

  Finally he roared as he found his released, joining me in the hazy aftermath of pleasure. He fell onto his side, breathless. Without a word, he immediately pulled me against him, holding me close. It felt good to have him automatically reach for me.

  Together, we let out pulses quietly slow down. I felt his hand slowly run up and down my back in a calm, soothing manner. I looked up. His eyes were closed and his face relaxed. His hand still ran down my back in that soothing way, as if he couldn’t get enough of touching me.

  My heart skipped a beat as I realized the truth.

  I love him.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Jessa

  “Miss Blair,” Agent Todd said as he took a seat on the dark gray couch of the penthouse main room, “I hope you were able to sleep well and get some rest after yesterday’s trauma.”

  Rowan and I sat across from the agent on the smaller loveseat. I almost wanted to giggle like a girl at his words. Sleep? Maybe I had gotten some towards dawn. But definitely not any before then.

  For hours, Rowan and I had lingered over each other’s bodies. We spoke in that private and free way that people can talk in the late hours of the night. One minute Rowan was taking my breast into his mouth while he plunged his cock deep into me and then the next minute, he was holding me close while he asked me about what it was like growing up in Hollywood.

  “Mmm…” I said, thinking over my answer while luxuriating in the delicious feel of having his arm securely around me. “I guess it’s really not so different from normal high school. It’s like being in perpetual high school. There’s always the gossipy ones, the bitchy ones, the really nice ones, the brownnosers, the popular ones—”

  “That’d be you, right?” he asked, his voice murmuring right behind my ear. “The popular one?”

  I huffed a laugh but didn’t deny it. “I’d be okay if I wasn’t. I wouldn’t mind a break. It’s not fun being the one that the gossipy ones talk about or the brown nosers try to kiss up to.”

  Rowan ran a hand over my hair, smoothing back the stray locks. “I can imagine,” he said.

  I turned around in his arms so I could face him. “What about you? What were you in high school? The rebel? The bad boy?” I asked teasingly.

  Rowan grinned. “The nerd,” he answered promptly.

  I gave him such a skeptical look that he laughed. There was no way he could’ve been a nerd. No man could grow into this level of masculinity and strength. It was something that you were born with and just honed over time.

  “Well, what I think defines a nerd,” he clarified. “I had fun, of course, riding bikes with my old man and all. But I was pretty good at school. Got offered a scholarship to Stanford.”

  “Really?” I asked, floored. I would never have expected that. Not that Rowan ever struck me as dumb but Stanford was the Ivy League of the West Coast. That was impressive by any standards!

&nbs
p; Rowan nodded. “But I was dumb then. I liked books and studying. I was good at it. But I wanted to ride bikes more than I wanted to attend college. I gave up the scholarship and my old man never could stop haranguing me about that.”

  “Well I can imagine why!” I said. No one just gives up a scholarship to Stanford. At least, not without a good reason. “Are you sure it was just bikes? Not a girl?” I asked in a teasing voice but I was curious. And if I was being honest, a little jealous.

  Rowan gave a soft laugh as he wrapped both arms around me, holding me close. I closed my eyes and melted into him. “No,” he said. “No girl. Just a really deep and stupid love for riding.”