Re:ZERO -Starting Life in Another World-, Vol. 9

by Tappei Nagatsuki

  Subaru flipped to the latter, blank half of the tome, pressing his finger against it.

  He had touched the finger to a wound, covering it in blood. With this, he placed his imprint upon the Gospel.

  “Your end is right here!”

  In red I-script, Subaru wrote the word END on the open, blank page.

  When Petelgeuse beheld the sight, his tongue trembled from the blow. The fierce emotions spreading like a wave through his eyes were so complex that Subaru could no longer read any of them.

  And then, before he could put his emotions into words, the end came.

  “—!”

  The dragon carriage bounced high up, and Petelgeuse, dragged by the wagon by the sleeve of his habit, came loose… Then the tattered habit was caught by a wheel of the dragon carriage, turning at high speed.

  Pulled in by the snagged habit, Petelgeuse’s body, stripped of limbs and blood, was pulled straight toward the wheel. The end was in sight. Mixed with the sound of a habit tearing, flesh and blood bursting, in his last moment, Petelgeuse looked up at his foe and shouted.

  “—Subaru Natsukiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!”

  His scream echoed and became his death cry.

  Petelgeuse shouted Subaru’s name as body and voice were swallowed by the wheel; and thus ensnared, they were pulverized, with bits of blood, flesh, and bone scattering out as his life was trampled away.

  With the loss of its body, the essence of the evil spirit dwelling within was drawn in until it, too, dissipated.

  “—”

  One last, final Unseen Hand stretched toward the tip of Subaru’s nose—

  Just on the verge of grasping Subaru’s head, the hand stopped; from the tips of its fingers, it fell apart and vanished. This fact revealed that Petelgeuse Romanée-Conti well and truly was no more.

  “This time, rest in peace forever…Petelgeuse.”

  It was over. Certain of that, Subaru flopped onto the wagon.

  Instantly, the pain he had been ignoring to that point came rushing back, and Subaru moaned as he rolled around in the wagon.

  “Oww, this is bad, it’s so bad, I’m gonna die. Oww, this is bad, this is bad…!”

  Tears welled up, and the sharp pain would not relent. His bleeding wounds throbbed, and he felt like needles had been thrust inside his body. Only the physical pain of his wounds racked his chest.

  He did not pity Petelgeuse. Madman, evil spirit, Archbishop of the Seven Deadly Sins—there was no point on which he could sympathize with Petelgeuse, aka Sloth. He’d run amok all on his own, and this was the result.

  He’d shouted delusions of love, arbitrarily imposed them on others, and ended up secluded and alone.

  No one needed to nurse pity for a man such as Petelgeuse meeting his end.

  No one, save Subaru, needed to be tormented by such sentiments.

  “No one was ever gonna understand you. Of course you’re dead. You had it coming. No one—no one—will forgive you— That’s why…I feel for you…that much, at least.”

  He was understood by none…unloved by the one he loved…a lonely monster.

  This time, Petelgeuse Romanée-Conti was truly no more.

  Nothing left of him remained in anyone’s chest, anyone’s heart.

  …None, save the nail called “pity” driven into Subaru’s chest nonetheless.

  6

  “Mr. Natsuki, are you all right? You are wounded to no small extent.”

  “Hell no, I’m not all right. I used to bawl my eyes out when the anesthesia ran out after dental work.”

  Subaru moved from the half-destroyed wagon to the driver’s seat, mumbling thus as he smeared salve on his wounds. Bandages and homemade salves seemed to be necessities of travel; he’d helped himself to what the dragon carriage held.

  As Subaru, done treating his wounds with teary eyes, handed the salve back to Otto, he pointed to the dragon carriage’s wagon and spoke.

  “I’ll put the word in to have Roswaal pay for dragon carriage repairs, too… So how much time have we lost?”

  “None whatsoever. If anything, we have gained time, thanks to having two land dragons earnestly fleeing… Something really came after us?”

  “Yeah, a sloth. Never heard of ’em? They’re animals with long hands that make funny noises.”

  When Subaru played dumb, replying with a deep sigh, Otto abandoned pursuing the matter further. Subaru shrugged at the sight; then he glared at the Liphas Highway’s horizon.

  What Subaru yearned for was beyond that horizon, its silhouette not yet within sight, but—

  “I’ll catch up to you. This time, I’ll save you.”

  “You think we will make it in time?”

  “We’ll make it!”

  It sounded like Otto asked not out of concern, but to gauge what Subaru’s resolve was made of. Hence Subaru put on a smile, baring his teeth as he replied with a hearty voice.

  “Besides, I have to finally bring Rem some good news. A man has to live up to expectations.”

  “That is the name of a woman you’ve fallen for?”

  “It’s the name of the girl who’s fallen for me!”

  Subaru said it not with ardor or a blush, but simply as a matter of fact. For a brief moment, Otto was taken aback by Subaru’s reply, but that expression immediately crumbled.

  “Ahh, then we cannot fail to look good for her, can we?!”

  With a joyful shout, Otto snapped the reins, and that sharp sound made the land dragons increase their running speed.

  They ran, they ran, and the dragon carriage went, seemingly flying, down the highway—

  Almost as if to reel in something precious over the horizon as it threatened to pull away.

  All Subaru Natsuki could do was pin his hopes on the future.

  7

  The dragon carriage’s speed increased, and the sounds of the wind and terrible rocking echoed inside the wagon.

  “Wah—!”

  “It’s okay. Hang on tight. There’s no need to be scared.”

  As the children huddled in a clump to endure the shaking, Emilia sent a strong smile their way. Seeing her smile, the anxious children muttered, “Yeah” and nodded several times over.

  Such strong children, thought Emilia in admiration. Any child had worries in its chest, yet these desperately clenched their teeth, continuing to fight against fear with nary a whimper.

  It was enough to make Emilia think, I can’t put on a shameful display in front of them.

  By rights, a dragon carriage was protected by a wind repel blessing. But currently, the blessing of their dragon carriage was not functioning.

  There were various conditions that might cause the effects of blessings to lapse, but for the wind repel blessing, it was very simple: either the land dragon’s legs had come to a halt or it had gone outside the area affected by the blessing— In this case it was the former.

  Once stopped, it took time for a dragon carriage’s blessing to be restored. And currently time was what they lacked.

  “—”

  As the wagon ferociously rocked, Emilia braced herself, strongly grasping them with her hands as she shut her eyes. She focused her ears beyond the dragon carriage’s curtain-covered rear, listening to the fierce swordplay in the distance.

  About two hours had passed since they’d left the village, evacuating because of a criminal group said to be lurking in the environs of the village. Midway, they’d split from the group Rem was leading to the Sanctuary, and Emilia’s group was set to make good time evacuating to the capital—but the situation had rapidly changed a short time ago.

  “…Lady Emilia, may I have a few minutes of your time?”

  From beside the dragon carriage, then taking a short break, Emilia heard the voice of the aged swordsman guarding them speaking to her.

  The individual calling himself Wilhelm Trias was a retainer of Crusch’s, and even Emilia could tell that he was a man of exceptional swordsmanship behind his gentle demeanor.

  The figh
ting spirit Emilia sensed from his hushed voice was all it took to make her brows buckle with concern.

  “Has something happened?”

  “It is of minor concern. Accordingly, I wish to take several men with me and eliminate that concern. I ask that you forgive my rudeness in leaving your side.”

  “…It’s all right. What’s wrong?”

  “It is only driving off wild dogs, a trifling matter. We shall catch back up with you soon enough.”

  When Wilhelm made that statement with a polite bow, Emilia sensed that something was off. Immediately after, she realized that he had been speaking out of consideration for the children all around her.

  Considering Wilhelm’s duties, she could guess what he was trying not to say, and what these “wild dogs” amounted to.

  “Am I not needed?”

  “—”

  She knew that the question she posed was an impolite way to repay Wilhelm’s considerate words. Wilhelm narrowed his eyes when, even so, Emilia could not refrain from asking.

  I’ve gotten on his bad side, thought Emilia. However, unexpectedly, the old man’s lips formed a smile.

  “Lady Emilia, please continue evacuating in the dragon carriage. Please take good care of the children.”

  The emotion contained in the smile was neither disappointment nor disdain. He clearly longed for something dear to him.

  To Emilia, perplexed and unable to understand the meaning of what she saw, Wilhelm quietly turned his back.

  “With a lapsed blessing, I expect the dragon carriage shall rock rather fiercely. Make sure not to let go of the children.”

  “Sir Wilhelm, I…”

  “Lord and retainer truly are alike—your eyes are just like his.”

  Wilhelm parted with that deeply felt murmur, breaking off from the dragon carriage column with other guards.

  Emilia did not know the true intent behind the murmur. But she had no time to pursue the matter. Immediately, at the instructions of a different knight, the dragon carriage convoy resumed its evacuation. And with the blessing no longer functional, the dragon carriage set out, its rocking robbing Emilia of the luxury of immersing herself in thought.

  And so, back inside the ferociously rocking carriage…

  The children huddled with Emilia in the canopied wagon of the dragon carriage. She tossed several blankets over the children, held their trembling hands, and continued to pay attention to the situation outside, ready to act immediately no matter what was coming. And explaining the situation outside to Emilia was—

  “That old man and the others are clashing with someone behind us. A battle is breaking out.”

  —a voice, reverberating in Emilia’s head as it relayed the tactical situation outside. Somehow, Puck sounded very laid back, floating unseen as he watched the situation unfold.

  “Do you know how many there are?”

  “Twice as many as we have, but…mm, it’s completely all right. That old man is incredibly strong, so there’s nothing for you and me to do, Lia. Wow, he cut another one down…”

  Emilia kept her fighting spirit and kept the tension off her face, nodding at her telepathic exchange with Puck.

  As a spirit, Puck had ways to know what was happening outside even without materializing. Emilia was using a minute amount of power to listen to his words and keep apprised of the situation.

  “It would be no laughing matter if I materialized for no reason and was out of energy when you really need me. Besides, if I come out now, I’ll end up a toy for the children.”

  “I think that’d be a good thing. Your cuteness would make them forget all their worries.”

  “Hey, don’t say such scary things, daughter of mine. Anyway, that’s how it looks outside.”

  Even as they exchanged lighthearted telepathic banter, Emilia was a bit grateful to hear Puck’s report. But the corners of her lips rose stiffly as she painfully rued her own powerlessness.

  Puck had guaranteed Wilhelm’s strength with the sword, but Emilia had power to fight with, too. Wilhelm had declined Emilia’s aid out of consideration for her position. Even though she understood that, Emilia was still chagrined over merely being protected by others.

  She was unable to bring about the results demanded by her station. Her authority was a paper tiger; she was seen as a figurehead candidate from inside and outside the kingdom, and no one would claim her capabilities were up to the task, even as fiction.

  And in spite of that, she was shackled to her position, her authority placed in a yoke, the decision to wave her power around denied to her.

  Then what in the world was she there for?

  “…Subaru.”

  When, in a small voice, her lips invoked the name of the black-haired youth, Emilia shook her head at her own weakness.

  She had no right to call that name, almost like she was pleading for aid. If, that moment, she was calling out his name, it was not for want of power. It was—

  “Hey, everyone, don’t worry! No matter what happens, your big sister will protect you!”

  It was for want of courage, so that Emilia might do what Subaru would in her place.

  When Emilia spoke those words to them, the huddled, curled-up children lifted their faces. Her words sent the children, shoulder to shoulder with tears in their eyes, looking at one another’s faces, and their voices came all at once.

  “W-we’re all right!” “Don’t you worry about anything, Big Sis!” “W-we promised, so it’s okay! We’re not letting go, so…!”

  It was instantly obvious the children were putting on a brave front as they clung to Emilia’s arms and legs. They wrapped around both arms, both legs, and even her hips and shoulders; Emilia’s body went rigid from the heat from being touched by others. But it was by no means a disagreeable sensation.

  It was just that, at the same time, something felt off about their words.

  “Promised… Who did you make a promise with? To do what?”

  “He said not to let go of Big Sis.” “He said you’d do reckless stuff if he’s not with you, so…!” “He said he’s worried if no one’s watching out for you!”

  As each reply came in turn, Emilia was shocked by her own reaction. Emilia felt like it was extremely overprotective, and even that she was being looked down upon…but she felt strong consideration pouring out of the words.

  “—”

  That way of speaking sounds like…

  Emilia felt a throb in her chest the instant she had the thought.

  Once she noticed it, she could ignore the throb in her chest no longer. Its assertion grew stronger at an ever-increasing pace, and Emilia’s eyes wavered with bewilderment as it gently clawed against her heart.

  Led by that throbbing, Emilia opened her mouth to ask, “Who said…he’s worried about me?”

  “Ah, no, that’s…!”

  The question immediately made the color of Petra’s face change. Her adorable cheeks reddened as she shouted, interjecting with a desperate voice, but she was not in time.

  “Subaru!” “Subaru said it!” “He was worried you’d feel lonely!” “Subaru said… Ah, right, we weren’t supposed to say that…”

  The children scrambled to be the first to say his name, but the last speech resulted in a hand going to the mouth. Then they all realized they had misspoken. “Oops,” Petra said quietly, clutching her head.

  But as Emilia blinked her eyes, she didn’t even notice the looks on the children’s faces.

  “Suba…ru…?”

  She’d had a feeling. Emilia could sense him from the words out of the children’s lips.

  But it can’t be, said her feelings of denial, and they had won out. After all, Emilia had hurt him, speaking terrible words and leaving him in the capital, far away.

  There, where Subaru’s greatest desire was to reach out and offer Emilia his hand, she had turned her back on him. That had to have been a great betrayal.

  Why, when Emilia yearned for someone to save her, had Subaru’s name co
me out?

  It couldn’t be. It wasn’t possible.

  Emilia had lived a life of disappointments.

  She had been betrayed, repudiated, estranged; to her these were natural, expected things.

  She wanted to be trusted, accepted, sought; but to her these things were impossible.

  That was why, when Subaru behaved kindly to her, she’d rejected even him, and all the kindness he offered.

  It was not that she couldn’t believe he was being considerate to her. That she was worthy of his compassion—this Emilia could not believe.

  If she piled expectation upon expectation, the blow when it all came crashing down would be unfathomable. Therefore, if he would someday distance himself from her, it was better if she distanced herself from him…

  …before the pile between them climbed high enough to come crashing down.

  And yet, why—?

  “Subaru…came to the village? He…came back?”

  With the children maintaining an awkward silence, Emilia could only let out that dumbfounded murmur.

  Even then, the dragon carriage rocked ferociously as the battle between the knights and the pursuers continued. Emilia had a duty to protect the children, and that duty came first.

  Yet Emilia’s heart was being rocked far harder than the carriage, swaying greatly to and fro.

  If Subaru had returned to the village, a number of mysteries began to make sense.

  It explained why Ram knew so much about the expeditionary force rendezvous. It explained why the villagers had been so cooperative with the order to evacuate. It explained why the members of the expeditionary force had so deftly handled the affairs of a domain of which they should have known little.

  The simple presence of one person, Subaru Natsuki, neatly tied these mysteries together.

  If Subaru was with the expeditionary force, she understood why Ram did not go against his word. To the villagers, Subaru was the savior of the village; it was natural that they would not reject his proposal.

  More than anything, evacuating the villagers and Emilia, sending them ahead while he stayed behind with the expeditionary force to deal with the threat, was very Subaru-like. Too like him.