Re:ZERO -Starting Life in Another World-, Vol. 9

by Tappei Nagatsuki

  That invective was probably fitting, given the relationship between Subaru and Ferris.

  For Subaru knew painfully well how it felt to be powerless and consoled by the person most precious to you.

  3

  “Wilhelm, thanks a ton for the supporting fire earlier.”

  With the conversation in the office complete, Subaru left the sobbing Ferris and the consoling Crusch behind as he flagged down Wilhelm in the corridor.

  “No,” said the Sword Devil as he looked back, unable to conceal his fatigue from the string of battles as he continued, “It was nothing at all. If anything, I was of little help at critical junctures.”

  “That’s not true at all. We couldn’t have beaten the White Whale without you, and after, there was no one I could trust to keep Emilia and the others safe more than you. I’m grateful, Wilhelm.”

  It wasn’t that everything had gone off without a hitch. But these were Subaru’s true feelings.

  However, Subaru’s gratitude made Wilhelm’s expression darken. He was the type of person who had a deep sense of duty and felt responsible when others got hurt. Subaru somehow managed to form a smile toward the all-too-kind Sword Devil.

  “The situation hasn’t calmed down that much, but you’re going to visit your wife’s grave or something, right? It’s too early to relax, but you did avenge her, and that’s important, right?”

  “—!”

  Subaru’s words, an attempt to change the topic, made Wilhelm’s cheeks faintly stiffen. As the reaction made Subaru’s eyes go wide, his bewilderment was redoubled when Wilhelm did something even more surprising—he suddenly bowed his head deeply in Subaru’s direction.

  “Sir Subaru, I must thank you again.”

  “H-hey, hold on a sec! I’m seriously trying to thank you here, Wilhelm…”

  “No, truly I must. Until now, I have not thought of you as my ally. At the very least, in stating we should continue the alliance with Lady Emilia, my viewpoint was founded upon my own personal reasons. After the fact, I am ashamed at my own audacity in hiding my true thoughts.”

  Subaru, not understanding the reason for Wilhelm raking himself over the coals, could only watch as a question mark rose over his head.

  In front of Subaru, Wilhelm abruptly pulled an arm out of the sleeve of his jacket. His left shoulder was bandaged; blood slowly oozed out of it that very moment.

  “That looks painful. But Ferris should be able to heal a wound like…”

  “This wound cannot be healed. It is an untreatable wound inflicted by the blade of one with the blessing of the grim reaper.”

  “Untreatable… But, Wilhelm—!”

  As Wilhelm shook his head with a grave look on his face, Subaru gaped at him in disbelief. Even Subaru could imagine the terror of a wound that would never close. If gradual blood loss was not stanched, it was the same as putting a countdown on a person’s life.

  Subaru was racked with feelings of nervousness, but Wilhelm appeared quite calm.

  “My life is not in any jeopardy from this.”

  “There’s no way that it isn’t! What the hell can you do about a wound like…?”

  “This is not a wound borne from the events of today or yesterday. It is an old wound from much longer ago that has simply reopened—and that fact weighs very heavily upon me.”

  Subaru listened to Wilhelm speak in a quiet voice when he realized that his own body was shaking. The shaking had begun with his limbs, but at some point it had spread to even the roots of his teeth. Then he immediately realized the cause: the frighteningly dense aura of hostility given off by the Sword Devil before his eyes.

  The Sword Devil continued in a quiet voice. “The power of a wound inflicted by the blessing of the grim reaper increases the closer the victim is to the one who carries the blessing. If they come near one another, even a closed wound will reopen… Such is the nature of the injury.”

  “Then the one who gave that wound to you was close by…”

  “The one who wounded my left shoulder is the previous Sword Saint.”

  Those words made Subaru’s breath catch as he looked at Wilhelm.

  A quiet fire was burning in the eyes with which he looked at Subaru. He continued, “This sword wound was opened by my wife, Theresia von Astrea. I must continue to pursue the Witch Cult in order to uncover the truth.”

  4

  He’d meant to walk without thinking of anything, but before he knew it, he’d once again ended up standing in front of the room where Rem slept.

  His feet took him toward her whenever free time allowed it. He knew full well that he was just indulging himself, clinging to Rem as she continued to slumber.

  “You told me to be strong, but…it’s like, now that you’re gone, Rem, I can’t find that strength anywhere.”

  Morning, noon, or night, the sight of Rem lying there never changed.

  She breathed in her sleep. Her heart continued to beat. But beyond those things, there was not even a single proper sign that she was alive. She was there, and yet she was not. By that time, Rem didn’t exist except in Subaru’s heart.

  “—”

  Subaru sat at Rem’s bedside, looking at her sleeping face as he thought back…

  …and remembered when, in an effort to bring Rem back, he’d used a dagger to pierce his own throat.

  He could not remember the exact instant in time. But the fact remained that he’d overcome various obstacles, grasping the best possible result for everyone with both hands—and hadn’t hesitated to throw it all away.

  If it meant losing Rem, if it meant advancing into a future without her, he didn’t care how many times he had to fight Sloth, how many hells he had to go through…or so he had thought.

  After the dagger punched through his throat, he felt himself fading in the face of blood, pain, passion, and loss— Then, when Subaru came to after Returning by Death, the sight of Rem sleeping in bed lay before him.

  “…Shit. I never thought there’d be an auto-save just before committing suicide. That’s really messed up.”

  Subaru, thinking that the change in restart points must have been some kind of mistake, tried to take his own life again. But when the paradox sank in that, even if he Returned by Death, he could not save Rem, he stopped his impulsive behavior; the dagger fell from Subaru’s hand as he crumpled to the floor.

  Even if, via Return by Death, he somehow managed to return to the point before the decisive battle with Petelgeuse, Rem and the others would have already gone their separate way hours before—which meant that no matter what he did, there was no way catch up with Rem before they were attacked on the return journey.

  And supposing, by some miracle, he had caught up to them, he had no plan for defeating new Archbishops of the Seven Deadly Sins. Besides, if he went back and left Petelgeuse to his own savage devices, it would mean losing Emilia.

  If he tried to save Rem, he’d sacrifice Emilia; if he tried to save Emilia, he’d sacrifice Rem—without sacrificing one, he couldn’t even put his finger on the merest possibility of saving the other.

  When Subaru realized the cruel choice facing him, he couldn’t even kill himself anymore.

  And so he remained without a plan, doing nothing but lingering close to Rem in the time since—

  “—So this is where you were.”

  A voice, clear as a bell, abruptly reached Subaru from behind; his shoulders jumped as he looked back. There stood the girl precious to him gazing at him with a thin smile on her lips—a girl he’d left alone for the last several hours.

  Even he wasn’t pathetic enough to say something like, What are you doing here? I’m busy.

  “Emilia…? You need something?”

  “Do I…need anything in particular to come? I’m supposed to be close to that girl…to Miss Rem, as well, right?”

  “Miss Rem, huh?”

  Emilia walked to the bed and peered at Rem from Subaru’s side. It felt odd hearing Emilia add an honorific to Rem’s name as she stroke
d her own silver hair.

  “Ah, that’s right,” murmured Emilia in response to Subaru’s words. “I called her just by her name, didn’t I?”

  “You were Roswaal’s guest, Emilia-tan. She’s Ram’s little sister, so no need to explain, right?”

  “Mm, I understand that much. I mean, she looks just like Ram. There’s no way you could be wrong.”

  The image of Ram was probably in the back of Emilia’s mind as she gazed at Rem’s sleeping face. The twin sisters were two peas in a pod. Aside from their hair and eye colors, facial expressions, and the sizes of their breasts, they looked exactly the same.

  The very late realization that Ram had no doubt forgotten Rem as well tore deeply at Subaru’s chest.

  “Subaru, you haven’t slept at all, have you? You really should rest a little.”

  “I’m not tired, really. It’s not like I’m actually doing anything.”

  “But you really want to do something, don’t you? If you keep your mind tense like that, your body will be the next to go. So please.”

  The echo of her heartfelt plea finally made Subaru look in Emilia’s direction. When their gazes met, for the first time since she had entered the room, Subaru’s breath caught at the sullen look in her violet eyes.

  Then he finally understood just why Emilia had come.

  “I’m pretty pathetic, huh?”

  “No, not at all. You’ve been a reeeally huge help to me. Really-really.”

  Emilia shook her head at Subaru’s self-deprecation. From the beginning she’d been concerned about Subaru running himself ragged. With Subaru pushing himself too hard, she’d come to give him a gentle touch.

  With Subaru seated in his chair, Emilia sat down herself; their gazes met as she earnestly tried to weave her words.

  “I won’t say something like I’m sure it’ll all work out. I can’t promise such a thing. I want to understand your feelings, Subaru…but I don’t know anything about a girl I’ve forgotten, so if I say anything, I think it’ll just hurt you.”

  “—”

  “But I do know this—you can’t worry about Rem and shoulder that burden alone. Subaru, let me share that burden with you.”

  “Emilia…”

  Emilia’s surprising words made Subaru’s eyes widen in astonishment.

  To Subaru, Emilia was truly speaking completely beyond his expectations.

  “But you don’t even remember anything about her…”

  “Is it wrong to want to do something, even if I don’t? She’s a precious-enough girl to you to give you such a sad face, isn’t she? Subaru, is it so strange that I want to help?”

  “—”

  “I want to help you in the same way that you helped me. If you’re hurt, I want to do something for you. That’s normal, isn’t it?”

  He could trust those feelings and approach them without hesitation; that affection needed no doubts.

  For the first time, Subaru’s stubbornness fell away, dissolved by the words Emilia had gone out of her way to speak. When he realized that, he thought himself a real idiot for having been so obstinate in the first place.

  “…You really are something, Emilia-tan.”

  “Really? I feel like you’re reeeally amazing, too, Subaru.”

  “Nah, no way— I’m glad you’re here, Emilia.”

  Emilia’s face went blank when Subaru slipped that last part in. Subaru made a strained smile at her demeanor, looking like she almost understood, but not quite. And when it dawned on Subaru that his lips were forming a smile, he finally realized…

  —This was the first heartfelt emotion he’d experienced since he learned that Rem was asleep.

  “Emilia, there’s something I’d like to ask of you…”

  “What is it?”

  “Can you turn around? I’m gonna cry a bit.”

  “Mm-hmm, got it.”

  Emilia asked nothing more, turning her back to Subaru as he had asked.

  Her consideration was a relief to Subaru as his gaze fell to his own knees. He gave in to the emotions surging inside him; he sniffled, and tears fell.

  As Rem continued to sleep before him, he’d wasted time, beating himself up over his own powerlessness. Emilia, too, was concerned for Rem, yet he’d never even noticed.

  Because he was the only one who remembered Rem, he’d convinced himself that he was the only person concerned about her, and that only he could save her.

  Subaru continued sniffling at his own stupidity.

  And then…

  “”

  In that quiet room, filled only with the sound of his own sobbing, Subaru’s throat caught from the abrupt sensation of warmth.

  From behind, over the back of the chair, Emilia embraced Subaru, gently stroking his head.

  “”

  She said nothing. She didn’t have to.

  Saved by her simple act of kindness, Subaru stanched the flow of both his tears and his whining.

  And then, in that moment, he made an oath.

  “I’ll bring you back. Count on it, Rem.”

  He had told her before.

  He, the man she’d fallen in love with, would stand before her as the greatest hero of all.

  Wasn’t he still only partway down that road?

  “I’ll definitely… Your hero is definitely coming for you—just you wait.”

  This was both a promise to himself, and his declaration of war against the enemy called fate.

  Any who stood before Subaru Natsuki while doing evil, encroaching upon that which was not theirs to sully, would be pounded flat.

  And it would be Subaru Natsuki who would do it.

  “There’s no doubt—no doubt!!”

  In the time starting from zero, losing someone precious like you…is unthinkable.

  That’s why I’ll get them back.

  The days lost. The time I spent walking with you. The time I wanted to spend walking with you.

  I’ll bring them back again with my own two hands, so just wait, Rem…

 

  AFTERWORD

  Celebrate! Arc 3 is finally complete! It took a while!

  Yes, hello, this is Tappei Nagatsuki/Mouse-Colored Cat, in your debt as always.

  The third arc, beginning with Re:ZERO -Starting Life in Another World-, Vol. 4, is finally complete!

  Since some of you readers might read the afterword first, authors tend to write about the contents of the novel without particular spoiler warnings, so if you haven’t read the novel, leave this for later!

  So based on the premise that you really did leave this for later, let’s get into the nitty-gritty.

  Within the story of this work, Re:ZERO -Starting Life in Another World-, the contents of the third arc, beginning with Volume 4, were things I wanted to do from the very beginning. I’ve probably mentioned this in Volumes 3 or 4, or maybe it was 5 or 6, but as an author, it’s an indescribable feeling to have reached this point.

  Actually, a lot of things happened during the time this third arc was completed. It gained a comic version, talk of an anime came up, the anime was hammered out, the anime was broadcast, and here we are at virtually the same time the anime comes to a close! There are few experiences quite like this one as a whole.

  Thanks to all this, the anime came out great, and I’ve received many messages saying, “I found out about Re:ZERO from the anime!” Even with the anime finished, the Re:ZERO book series will continue. Just after the defeat of the powerful foe Sloth, a new, powerful enemy emerges! There are still so many mysteries to be revealed! With both reunions and farewells, the tale of Subaru Natsuki continues!

  Well, since I went out of my way as a creator to stuff in an especially large cliffhanger, I’d like to think that a lot of people are looking forward to Volume 10!

  I am eagerly waiting to hear how everyone feels about “what comes after,” the parts not included in the anime!

  Now then, with a broad smile on my face, allow me to follow the established custom of flattery! />
  To senior editor I., the third arc is probably what caught your eye most back in the web novel days. I can humbly state that my having arrived this far is due to your strenuous efforts. Developments hereafter will bring especially large headaches, so please lend me your shoulder and your best regards going forward!

  Otsuka the illustrator, I know this is old news by now, but the characters truly blossomed splendidly in the anime. Otsuka, I think it is safe to say that your character designs are what made the anime so popular! Next arc, the cast of characters increases again, so as the author, I have the highest hopes of all! It’ll be lots of fun!

  To others, such as MF Bunko J’s editorial department, Daichi Matsuse and Makoto Fugetsu for the comic versions, Kusano the designer, everyone involved on the bookstore and the business ends, and to many, many others, thank you for all the help!

  And allow me to borrow this space to thank everyone who poured their strength into the Re:ZERO anime.

  Masaharu Wanatabe the producer, WHITE FOX for animation work, Tsunaki Yoshigawa, Shou Tanaka P, Masahiro Yokotani the scenario writer, Yoshiko Nakamura, Eiji Umehara, Kyuuta Sakai the character designer, Kenichirou Suehiro for music, Koyomi Suzuki for the OP and ED, and MYTH&ROID—and, to be blunt, far too many people to record in this space, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

  Of course, words cannot suffice to thank the entire cast performing these characters’ roles. Thank you very much!

  And finally, my greatest thanks to all of you readers who have stuck with me through this book and this tale.

  Even with my dream of an anime version fulfilled, I shall strive so that new dreams might be granted henceforth—be it novel, manga, or anime, please give me your best regards and support!

  Well then, let us meet again for the next novel—and the start of a new story arc!

  Thank you!

  Tappei Nagatsuki

  August 2016

  (The anime is over, but Re:ZERO is in its middle acts and still has a long way to go!)

  “There, there, Lady Emilia… Arc 3 is over. Thank you for your hard work.”