New Life, New Land

by Roberta Kagan

  It was a single room, dark and damp. The floor was made of gray concrete. He saw Cool Breeze lying on a dirty mattress covered in dark stains and bare of sheets or blankets.

  The stains are probably shit or blood, Dovid thought, willing himself not to gag. I’ve been in the army where I’ve seen death and worked with my father in medicine and yet a scene like this one can still make me want to vomit.

  Cool Breeze was naked to the waist. He wore only a pair of soiled boxer shorts. His head hung over the side of the bed. On the floor were several empty wine bottles. A rubber band was tied around the top of his arm. A little lower down, an empty syringe hung like a marionette by a needle still in his vein. A small pool of blood had turned dark on the floor.

  Dovid checked for a pulse. Cool Breeze was still alive.

  Carefully, Dovid removed the needle, holding the point of insertion to prevent additional bleeding. He had nothing to cover the wound. Dovid couldn’t stay there holding a wound. He had to do something to wake his friend out of his comatose state or he was afraid Cool Breeze might die. Although Cool Breeze was thin, it was difficult to lift a full-grown man who was limp dead weight. But with Harry’s help, together they carried Cool Breeze down the hall to the bathroom. Once there, Dovid turned on the shower. The water was very cold. He and Harry put Cool Breeze under the running water. At first, Cool Breeze didn’t move, he just laid there. Then a minute later, Breeze jumped to life. He started shaking, his body jiving in protest against being startled by the freezing water.

  “Hey, you tryin’ to kill me?” Cool Breeze said.

  “I’m trying to help you,” Dovid said.

  “Mr. Dovi, how did you find me?” Cool Breeze’s eyes were glassy, but he recognized his friend.

  “Arnie sent me.”

  “That Arnie.”

  Cool Breeze laughed, even though he was shaking violently from the shock of the cold water. “Get me the hell out of here.” He got up but was unsteady and slipped back down in the shower stall.

  Dovid and Harry helped Cool Breeze to his feet.

  “Let’s put on your clothes and then we’ll go to the tavern,” Dovid said. “You have other underwear?”

  “Ain’t got none,” Cool Breeze said.

  “You’ll have to do without,” Dovid said.

  “I have a clean shirt downstairs in the back of the restaurant in case I spill something on my shirt. No pants though. And no underwear,” Harry said. “But I can give the shirt to you for Dell. At least it’s clean.”

  “I owe you, my friend,” Dovid said.

  “Think nothing of it.”

  Harry left and went downstairs. He came back a few minutes later with a towel and a shirt with worn cuffs. “Here, dry yourself off and get dressed,” Harry said to Cool Breeze.

  “Listen, Harry. I promise you I am gonna get you your rent as soon as I go in to work,” Cool Breeze said.

  “He paid it, Dell,” Harry said, pointing to Dovid. “Give the money back to him.”

  “I will. You’ll see, Dovi. I will. I promise you, I am gonna do just that.”

  Dovid knew he would never see his money again, but his heart was breaking to see a man as brilliant as Cool Breeze wasting away. He wished he could help him, but he knew that there was nothing he could do except be a friend. Cool Breeze dried himself off. The shirt Harry gave him was newer and cleaner than his other one, and so he wore it. Once Cool Breeze was dressed, he and Dovid walked towards the car. On the ground was a big puddle of dark red blood.

  “That sure looks like blood,” Dovi said.

  “Probably is,” Cool Breeze said. “Lots of times folks gets killed around here and don’t nobody care. The police don’t even come so ain’t no use to call ‘em.”

  Dovid understood what it was like to live under a corrupt government. He just hadn’t expected to find a police department like that in America, the greatest country in the world.

  Dovid and Cool Breeze got into Arnie’s Cadillac and began driving toward the tavern.

  “I hope you realize that you could have died from what you did. You could have overdosed and died,” Dovid said.

  “Yeah, I knows it. I’m gonna quit. You see, Mr. Dovi, I been planning on it. I’m gonna be quitten’ right after the first of the year.”

  Dovid shook his head. He knew that Cool Breeze wished he could quit but he wasn’t able. “How did you ever get involved with heroin?”

  “My pusher give me my first fix for free. Now he charges me a fucking fortune. I was a stupid kid that first time. The bastard promised me that I couldn’t get hooked by trying it just once. Boy, was he wrong. I was afraid of needles back in them days so he done for me that first time. I gotta tell you that it was like being in heaven. I ain’t never felt nothin’ like it. It made me feel good all over. But don’t you ever try it, Dovi. You know why? Because you is gonna get hooked right away, I can sure promise you that. And, you know what else? No matter what you do, you can never hit that first-time high again. You see, after you had that high, somethin’ like a devil inside you make you just keep on tryin’ to feel that same way again, but no matter how much smack you shoot, you can’t get there never again.”

  “Well, don’t worry about me trying it. I have no intentions of doing that. Will you tell me who your pusher is?”

  “I ain’t gonna tell you. Cause ifin’ I tell you, you gonna kill him or have him arrested. I know you, Dovi.”

  “You’re right I am. It would be my pleasure,” Dovid said. He was seething with anger.

  They rode in silence for a few minutes. Then Dovid said, “Cool Breeze, was it a white man?”

  “Was what a white man?”

  “The pusher? The man who got you started on heroin.”

  “What difference do it make?”

  “It makes a difference to me. I want to know.”

  “Yeah, he white.”

  Dovid shook his head. “What can I do to convince you to tell me who he is?”

  “Ain’t nothin’ you can do. I ain’t never gonna tell you.”

  “Damn it,” Dovid said under his breath.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Sunday at 5:30 p.m., Dovid and Eidel walked four blocks west until they got to the Rosen’s apartment. On the way, they stopped at Miriam Goldberg’s Bread and Sweets and picked up a cake. At first, Eidel didn’t want to go. She was shy and uncomfortable going to the home of strangers. But Dovid convinced her that she would enjoy herself. She was nervous, afraid the Rosens wouldn’t like her. Dovid had told her that the Rosens were Jewish and that they were from Poland. He explained that Harry and Ida had been in a concentration camp. She wondered if either of them knew Zofia Weiss. She also worried that they would be able to tell that she had not been raised as a Jew and that they would reject her.

  When the Levis arrived, Ida spoke to Eidel in Polish. It was so easy for Eidel to converse in her own native language. Because of this, Eidel began to feel comfortable. Eidel offered to help with the meal preparation and by the time the food was on the table, the two women were fast friends.

  There was never a lull in the conversation. The women shared recipes; the men discussed the handsome American President Kennedy. Both couples agreed that they wanted to move out of the city as soon as they could afford it and live in the suburbs. Dovid and Eidel talked about having children, and that drove the conversation to a darker place. Ida opened up and told the Levis that she had been experimented on while in Auschwitz and because of a doctor named Mengele, who was a sadist, she could not have children. When Ida and Harry talked about the Nazis and the concentration camps Eidel didn’t feel uncomfortable. She wasn’t ready to tell them about her past but it was all too confusing, too painful. She folded and unfolded her napkin as she listened to their sad stories.

  “We knew each other from the neighborhood when we were children,” Harry said, referring to himself and Ida. “Both of our families had been sent to the Lodz Ghetto. I didn’t see Ida again until I was transferred to Auschwitz. By then, my
entire family was dead. Later, I learned that Ida had also been transferred with her sister. I only saw her across a fence for a few seconds. We were not able to speak to each other. But she smiled at me, and you see, I hadn’t seen a friendly face from the old neighborhood in so long that when I saw her it made me feel like there might be something waiting for me at the end of all this. That is, if I could survive.“

  “I can still remember that day when I saw Harry,” Ida said. “He smiled back at me. I wanted to hear his voice and remember what life was like when we were still free to laugh and play and sing. But there was no laughter for me because my sister and I were a part of Mengele’s chosen children. We were his human experiments. He tortured us daily. But while she was alive there was still a chance that we might survive and go on together. Of course, that was not to be.”

  Harry patted Ida’s hand. “Every day I would think about Ida and daydream about what our lives would be like once we were free. It helped me to get through some of the most terrible things a human being can endure. By the time we were liberated, I knew I loved her and I knew I wanted to marry her,” Harry said.

  “The day the camp was liberated, I was sitting outside in a corner with my back against a building. I was just a child. All alone now, my sister was dead. I was thirteen at the time; Harry was seventeen. Most of the children in the camp didn’t survive. But, because my sister Ana and I were twins, Mengele selected us. I had a wonderful sister; she was my best friend. I guess I should explain this better. Mengele was the camp doctor; he should rot in hell. He liked to use twins for his experiments, especially children. And this doctor… he was the most sadistic bastard that ever lived. Somehow I survived his prodding, poking, surgeries without anesthetic. But my sister, my Ana, she was a delicate little soul. She should rest in peace … she didn’t make it. ”

  “So,” Harry said. “It was a bright sunny day when the soldiers came marching in. To us, they looked like gods in their uniforms. You’re free,” they told us. “You’re free. I remember I was crying. All around me prisoners were on their knees, kissing the soldiers’ feet,” Harry said, his face contorted with the recollection.

  Dovid remembered the liberations, too, because he had been one of the soldiers that freed several camps. It was strange for Dovid to hear these events brought to life by two of the prisoners so many years later. Dovid could have told Harry that he was one of the soldiers, not at Auschwitz, but at three other camps. However, he decided not to say anything.

  “It was over. It was finally over! I touched my arm; I touched my leg. You see, I couldn’t believe that I was alive. I felt almost like I shouldn’t be. Then, in many ways, I felt guilty that I was. Everyone I loved was dead. So many others had perished, too. I was walking around in a daze. I was not sure what I was going to do next. But then I saw Ida sitting in the corner with her back up against that dirty gray building. She was so small and looked so all alone and lost that the sight of her made my heart ache. I remembered how lively she had been when we were little children in the old neighborhood. It was very strange, but a vision of a day very long ago came to me. I remembered when all the children who lived on our street were skating at the park. Ida was good on skates. This was a strange thing to recall on the day of our liberation. However, as I looked at her I could see the little girl she’d been before the Nazis destroyed us, laughing as she whirled across the ice. You see, although I’d kept her in my mind all this time, I didn’t know her story. We had never spoken. At the time, I just assumed that she’d lost her whole family in the camp. I knew I had lost mine. So I went over to her and sat down beside her. I didn’t know what I was going to say. I only knew that I had to talk to her.”

  “I was so glad he came over to me. It was so good to see a familiar face. I started to cry, to weep, really. He held me in his arms,” Ida said.

  “We got married a year later. Then, for two years after that, we lived at a displaced persons camp. It was really a liberated concentration camp that the Red Cross had set up for us because we had no place else to go. The Jewish Committee helped Ida and me come to America. My father’s sister and her husband lived here in Chicago and they sponsored us. We lived with them for about eight months. Ida and I found odd jobs here and there until Mike hired me. It was lucky for me that my father was a professor at the University in Poland and had taught me English. It helped me a lot to be able to speak the language in America. I have been teaching Ida to speak better English but she still likes to speak in Polish.” Harry smiled at his wife and took her hand across the table.

  “I am used to speaking Polish. I am comfortable with it. But I am happy to learn the language of this great country that has given us a home,” Ida said, smiling.

  After listening to the Rosens speak, Eidel understood much better why Zofia had sent her away from the Warsaw Ghetto.

  By the time Eidel and Dovid were on their way home, Eidel was talking about inviting the Rosens to their house the following Sunday.

  The couples became friends. But more importantly, as Dovid had hoped, Eidel and Ida spent much of their free time together. They tried new recipes, made tablecloths, sewed, knitted, but most of all they found a friendship that bound them like sisters to each other.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  December 1961

  Cool Breeze seemed to be doing much better. He hadn’t missed work again since the incident when Dovid had found him passed out in his room. For this, Dovid was glad. He tried to make himself believe that perhaps he’d been wrong and Cool Breeze had actually found the strength to quit shooting heroin.

  Business had slowed down.

  “Don’t worry fellas, it’s always slower in the winter,” Arnie told them. But when Dovid looked at Arnie Glassman, he could see that Arnie wasn’t feeling well. Dovid didn’t know if it was because of the lack of customers or if Arnie was ill. Dovid and Cool Breeze both tried to do whatever they could in order to make Arnie feel better. Instead of sitting around, they tried to look busy. They cleaned the refrigerators. Not that the refrigerators were dirty, but they wanted to appear busy so that Arnie wouldn’t see them doing nothing.

  When Hanukkah came, Dovid bought a gold hair clip for Eidel, which he wrapped carefully in a few pages of the Sun-Times newspaper. They’d purchased a menorah when they were in Israel; it was the closest thing they could find to the one that Dovid’s parents had when he was a child. Dovid was excited about giving his wife her gift. Hanukkah was not for another week, but he had the gift in his pocket when he returned from work. He longed to give it to her, to see the smile on her face. It was a beautiful 14k gold hair clip with several small pearls and amethyst running along the side. She would love it. He knew how much she enjoyed wearing pretty hair ornaments, but she’d never owned one that was real gold. He could hardly wait to give it to her.

  As always, she had his food ready when he got home from work that morning. He took his shower and then sat down at the table.

  “How was your night?” she asked.

  “It was good. Slow, but good. It’s cold outside. People don’t want to go out of their homes, I guess.”

  “Ida was here yesterday afternoon and we made these perogies. Do you like them?”

  “Yes, they’re very good. You like Ida.”

  “I do. I am glad that the Rosens are our friends.”

  “So am I.”

  “I have some good news. I talked to Harry today. He got four free tickets to a Blackhawks game from one of the bus drivers who comes into the restaurant all the time. He wants to know if we want to go with him and Ida. What do you say?” Dovid asked. Harry had called him that afternoon and told him about the tickets.

  “I don’t know what a Blackhawks game is. But I will have a good time because Ida will be there.”

  Dovid let out a laugh. “I should have told you. The Blackhawks are Chicago’s hockey team. Have you ever seen a hockey game?”

  “No…” She smiled.

  “It will be a lot of fun. I’ll explain what’s goi
ng on as we watch the game. You’ll like it.”

  “When are the ticket’s for?”

  “The first week in January, on a Sunday afternoon. Harry said that he switched days with Mike’s nephew, Ralph, so that he could go. I don’t think I had a chance to tell you about Ralph.”

  “You never mentioned him,” she said.

  “Well, Harry was upset because he lost some hours when Mike had to hire Ralph, who is Mike’s sister’s kid. Mike said he had no choice. It’s family; he had to give Ralph a job. What a bum this Ralph is. From what I hear, he’s been fired from every job he has had. The kid’s gotten into trouble with the law for gambling a few times, too. Harry says he heard that Ralph was also arrested for stealing. The kid’s a real no good. And the worst of it is that because the kid couldn’t get another job, Mike had to take some days away from Harry to make room for his nephew. And of course, that means a cut in pay for Harry.”

  “Ida never told me,” Eidel said.

  “She probably didn’t want to upset you.

  “If we have to help the Rosens out financially, I would agree to it,” Eidel said.

  “We’ll see. I already asked Harry how he was going to get along. He said that they have some money saved. He says they’ll get by. They don’t seem to want our help.”

  “You asked him?”

  “In a round-about way, yes, I asked him. And we’ll help them if it comes to that. But that’s probably why Ida never mentioned it to you. She didn’t want you to feel obligated to offer them a loan.”

  “Oh, I feel so bad for them,” Eidel said.

  “Well, there is a bright side,” Dovid said.

  “Oh? And what is that?”

  “At least Harry can get off work all day on a Sunday. So we can all go to the hockey game. It will be a lot of fun.”