Catwalk Queen

by Cathy Hopkins

  ‘Nah,’ I said. ‘I don’t do groupie. He has enough admirers without adding me to the long list or you. Sorry to be so blunt but I’d hate to see you get hurt—’

  ‘Me? Why me get hurt?’

  I felt myself blush again. ‘Oh nothing. Sorry.’ I shook my head. ‘Water on the brain.’ Maybe JJ didn’t want to admit that he was gay. Some boys didn’t.

  ‘Yeah. I’ve met guys like Tom. It’s all about the challenge.’

  ‘Yep,’ I agreed.

  ‘So . . . if he’s not your boyfriend, what’s your position?’

  ‘Free as a bird. No-one asking me out.’ Maybe I could have a good old chinwag with JJ about my sad love life and see if he had any advice to offer.

  ‘I am.’

  ‘You?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘But you’re gay.’

  JJ’s mouth fell open. ‘What?’ he spluttered.

  ‘It’s OK. I mean, I won’t tell anyone else if you’re not ready to come out yet.’ JJ’s face looked more and more shocked. I realised I had to backtrack fast. ‘We don’t have to talk about it at all but I felt it only fair to warn you that you’d be wasting your time with Tom. He’s a player.’

  ‘Why do you think I’m gay?’

  ‘You . . . you were asking about Tom, er, saying how handsome he is, asking if he’s with anyone.’

  JJ laughed out loud. ‘Jess, I’m not gay. I was asking about Tom because . . . oh look there’s Tanisha.’ He broke off from what he was saying and waved.

  I glanced up. ‘Oh. My. God,’ I blurted.

  A vision had materialised at the other end of the spa. A dark-skinned goddess in a gold silk robe, her black hair tied up in a knot. It felt like someone had turned the lighting up a few notches as she looked over to us and waved.

  ‘You know her?’

  JJ nodded. ‘Sure. She’s an old friend of my mom’s. In fact, she was over last night. Want to meet her?’

  ‘D’er.’ I didn’t care that I was openly star-struck. I couldn’t help it.

  A few seconds later, she was standing in front of us, her smile showing perfect whiter than white teeth. Must use the same dentist as the Lewis family, I thought. They all have super-white teeth as well.

  ‘Hey, JJ,’ she said in a soft American accent. ‘And who’s this?’

  ‘Jess,’ JJ replied. ‘Jess is Mr Hall’s daughter, you know, the general manager.’

  She smiled. ‘Oh sure. Hey, Jess, pleased to meet you. You all been swimming?’

  I nodded. Once again, my brain seemed to have got up and gone. It was probably snoozing on a lounger on the other side of the spa. Get back here, brain, I told myself.

  ‘How old are you, Jess?’

  I couldn’t remember. How old am I? I asked myself. ‘Oh! Fifteen.’

  She smiled. ‘Interesting. Hey, JJ. Did you tell Jess about the competition?’

  JJ shook his head. ‘No.’

  ‘What competition?’ I asked.

  ‘Tanisha’s going to mentor a modelling competition in the next month,’ JJ explained.

  ‘Wow,’ I said. Maybe she was going to give me tickets. ‘How fab.’

  ‘I hope so,’ said Tanisha.

  ‘Are you going to be in it?’

  ‘Me? No. It’s not for me. It’s for teenagers. Say, Jess, how tall are you?’

  ‘Five foot nine.’

  ‘You ever thought about modelling?’

  I burst out laughing. ‘Yeah, right.’

  ‘You’re the right height, right age. Check out the website if you’re interested. Teen model. A good-looking girl like you could go a long way.’

  ‘B . . . but,’ I stuttered. ‘Me?’ I’d never looked worse. Wet hair. No make-up. She couldn’t be serious. Models had perfect skin, perfect hair, perfect bodies.

  ‘Yeah, you.’ She gave me a big smile. ‘I’m on the hunt! Now I’m going to go and take me a swim. See you later.’

  She sashayed off, dropped her robe to reveal a white bikini and a perfectly toned body. Magazines pay thousands for what I’m looking at, I thought as she dived into the water, and moments later, was cutting a perfect crawl through the water.

  JJ grinned. ‘Teen model hey? You going to go for it?’

  ‘Oh yeah and I’m going to go in for The X Factor, Junior Apprentice and MasterChef too,’ I said. I couldn’t take it in. I had just met Tanisha and she had suggested that I go in for a modelling competition. It was unreal. I had to be dreaming.

  Dream or not, I got no sleep that night. I kept replaying my conversation with JJ. Over and over. And over. But you’re gay? I’d said those words to him but hadn’t he denied it just before Tanisha came in? I can’t remember. It all went blurry. Alisha came to join us and an older man from the apartments came to swim so I didn’t hang around. You’re gay? But you’re gay? I had said that and he’d laughed. Why had he laughed? Shut up, mind, shut up, I need to go to sleep. But you’re gay. No mistaking. I had said it. What if he isn’t? I’ll have blown any chance I had with him forever. Ohhhhhhhhh God . . . And then I’d met Tanisha when I was looking my worst. She must have been being kind saying I should enter the competition, polite like the Lewises are. No way would anyone ever mistake me for a potential model. A huge spot on my chin. Wet hair. Oh God, oh Go-od. What had I said to her? Who me? Yeah, right. I should have said something more interesting. To both of them. But you’re gay? You’re gay? What must JJ think of me? If he’s not gay, will he still like me? Does he like me? Is that why he wanted to hang out after swimming? Or was he checking out the situ with Tom? And what if Alexei’s the one, not JJ or Tom? Oh arghhh. Actually Pia said Alexei is graceful. Maybe he’s the gay one. Oh shut up, shut up, Jess. Boys can be graceful and not gay. Go to sleep. Count sheep. One two three. Oh no, the sheep are turning into boys, JJ, Alexei, Tom dressed in ballet tutus. Very camp. Wearing lipstick. But gays aren’t always camp. Even I know that. So who’s gay? How can you really tell? Oh God. I’ve gone mad.

  Charlie popped his head around my bedroom door around midnight. ‘I can hear you groaning,’ he said. ‘You OK?’

  ‘No, I’m not. I am an idiot. The most stupid person in the whole world.’

  ‘No change there then,’ said Charlie as he shut the door and went back to bed.

  Yeah, no change there, I thought as my mind went back to playing its loop tape.

  4

  Miss Teen

  ‘I think we should all go for it,’ I said as the girls and I sat in a cluster around my computer after school on Thursday. Pia, Flo, Meg and Alisha. We’d found the competition website by Googling Tanisha teen model UK.

  Catwalk Teen Queen, it said on the home page.

  Could that be you? Pop diva Tanisha will be sponsoring a modelling competition in London. Open to girls between fourteen and sixteen. Four rounds on four consecutive Saturdays. If you think you’ve got what it takes, get out that lipgloss and pencil the dates in your diary NOW.

  ‘The first date’s in a fortnight,’ said Flo.

  ‘Wow, that’s soon,’ I said.

  ‘Pia and I are too small,’ said Meg as she tucked into a muffin with honey.

  ‘Says who?’ I asked.

  She pointed at the screen. ‘Says them. See, in the small print at the bottom. It says contestants need to be five foot eight or over.’

  ‘That’s mad. OK so you might both be small but you’re gorgeous.’

  ‘But we’re midgets,’ said Meg.

  ‘Vertically challenged,’ corrected Pia.

  Meg didn’t laugh. She doesn’t like being small. ‘Whatever. No-one wants to see Mini Mes on the catwalk.’

  ‘Rubbish,’ I said. ‘Kylie’s only four foot something. Smaller than you and so is her sister Dannii. Being small never held them back and it shouldn’t hold you back either.’

  ‘Yeah, but although Kylie and Dannii do a bit of modelling, they’re not catwalk models. You have to be tall for the catwalk,’ said Meg. ‘You have to be the perfect clothes horse, which is tall and skinny.’<
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  Pia shrugged. ‘I appreciate what you’re saying, Jess, but it’s cool – being a model for the catwalk or magazines is not really my thing. You have to wear what other people tell you, cut and colour your hair the way they say. I prefer to make my own choices.’

  I glanced back at the screen. ‘Still, it’s unfair. It leaves out a huge percentage of girls.’

  ‘Fact. Clothes hang better on tall girls,’ said Pia. ‘Tall and skinny, that’s what they want.’

  ‘But most girls aren’t tall and skinny. Take our class, for example – there are tall, short, fat, thin, all sorts. It’s wrong to exclude anyone because they don’t fit the model mould. I hate all that stuff. It just makes some people feel like losers, which is ridiculous.’

  ‘What about you, Flo?’ Meg asked. ‘You going to go for it?’ Flo was as tall as me with long blonde hair, flawless skin and big, grey, dreamy eyes. Every inch model material.

  ‘Yeah maybe. What do you think, Jess?’

  ‘I’m not doing it,’ I said. ‘I wouldn’t get far anyway and I don’t like that it’s not open to everyone.’

  ‘Oo, get you, Miss Political,’ said Pia.

  ‘I’m not entering if you’re not,’ said Flo. ‘And anyway, you have to send in photos and I haven’t got any. And you have to put down all sorts of stuff on the application,’ she read from the screen, ‘your hobbies, goals, what are you passionate about. How do you get on with your family?

  I went to the application and typed:

  Name: Princess Tallulah Fartnose-Smythe.

  Height: three foot two.

  Weight: fat with size extra extra large basoomas and very skinny legs and two heads.

  Reaason why you want to model: So I can take over the world and also because I want to see people with two heads represented.

  How do I get on with my family: Not well. They gave me indigestion when I ate them for lunch last Sunday.

  Hobbies: naked wobbly dancing.

  Passionate about: cake and naked wobbly dancing.

  ‘What is naked wobbly dancing, Jess?’ asked Flo.

  ‘Obvious, dummy. Dancing naked—’

  ‘And wobbling,’ Pia finished for me and we all cracked up laughing.

  ‘Shame we couldn’t really put in a false application, just for a laugh,’ said Pia. ‘Listen. Print a couple of forms out and I’ll get mad photos to go with them.’

  ‘Send in a pic of me,’ said Meg. ‘I have short legs and a big bum.’

  ‘Rubbish. Your bum’s perfect,’ I said.

  Meg shook her head. ‘It’s out of proportion with the rest of me.’

  ‘I have a boy’s body,’ said Alisha with a sigh.

  ‘Give it back to him then,’ I said.

  ‘No, dummy,’ Alisha persisted. ‘I have no waist.’

  ‘Me too,’ said Flo. ‘And my thighs are heavy.’

  ‘I hate my feet,’ said Pia. ‘Like I’m small everywhere but then you see my feet. Ergh!’

  Not to be left out, I added, ‘I hate my nose. It’s huge.’

  ‘It so isn’t,’ said Pia.

  ‘Seems no-one’s happy with what they’ve got,’ said Alisha.

  ‘No,’ we all chorused then sighed.

  ‘What about you, Alisha?’ asked Flo. ‘You’re tall enough. Will you go in for the competition?’

  She shook her head. ‘Mom and Dad would never allow it otherwise I might have done. Be fun. But it’s a non-starter. The press would be all over it. You can imagine, Jefferson Lewis’s daughter in model competition; Tanisha, old friend of Mrs Lewis; a fix? Yada yada. And anyhow, we’re back in LA in March because Dad’s doing some scenes over there. So no go for me.’

  ‘When will you be back?’ I asked.

  ‘We’re only going for the month,’ she replied. ‘Then back here for a while.’

  ‘Print me out some forms for fun,’ said Pia. ‘For Miss Ugly Bugly and her wobbly friends.’ I did as she asked, printed out a couple, gave them to her then closed down the site. I felt relieved. I’d have felt weird about going in for the competition without my mates. I also wondered what people at school might have thought if I had gone in for it – like, would they have thought that I was so full of myself, and that I thought I was oh so pretty? I was glad I wouldn’t have to deal with any of that stuff. No, having a laugh with my mates and groaning about what we didn’t like about ourselves was much more fun.

  I went to the loo to reapply my lipgloss. Alexei was expected any minute and I wanted to look my best. I still felt conflicted about liking him and JJ but it was still early days with both of them and my horoscope this morning had said that time would reveal the answer to a burning question. I took that question to be about my love life. When I came back into the room, I could tell by the silence that the girls had been talking about me.

  ‘OK. What?’

  Pia had been back on my computer and looked in my photo album. She’d pulled one that had been taken last summer onto the desktop. It was a rare shot of me looking OK for once. Charlie had taken it and I was smiling into the camera, and the sunlight had caught my hair, making it look shiny.

  ‘We think you should enter,’ said Meg. ‘You’re very photogenic.’

  ‘No, we decided not. Just leave it.’

  ‘Could be a way to earn some dosh,’ said Pia. ‘The prize is money and a spread in a mag. It would help boost your confidence. Help you see what a babe you are.’

  The others nodded.

  ‘I will if you will,’ said Flo.

  ‘You have to go for it. For the rest of us,’ said Meg. ‘When one of you wins, you can take us out on a great girlie shopping day.’

  ‘No way I’d win. Absolutely no way,’ I said. ‘It would be a waste of time.’

  Saved by the bell, I thought as the doorbell rang. I felt my stomach constrict. ‘Oh. That will be Alexei. I don’t want him up here in my bedroom. Come on, let’s all go to the VIP shed.’ The VIP shed is our den at the back of the garden. It was used for storage until Dad said Charlie and I could use it to hang out in. It’s fab in there, with old rugs, a battered old sofa, cushions on the floor and a heater to keep us warm.

  Flo went off to the loo and the others followed me down as I went to answer the door. Alexei stood there looking every bit as gorgeous as I had remembered him. He was carrying a stunning bunch of white flowers.

  ‘Gardenias,’ he said as he handed them to me, then produced a box of beautifully wrapped chocolates. I smiled but inwardly I sighed. It was lovely getting the gifts that he, and Alisha and JJ, brought when they came over but the bar of Cadbury’s fruit and nut and potted daffodil that I could afford just didn’t seem like an adequate return to their elegant designer presents.

  ‘Thank you so much,’ I said as I ushered him inside. He made a slight bow and stepped into our open-plan kitchen living room.

  ‘Probably a bit smaller than your place,’ I said as Pia and Meg straightened up and smiled. Alisha nodded hi to him. She’d already met him when his family went to meet hers. Like Pia, she’d also dismissed him as ‘not her type’. I introduced him to Meg and Pia, and as they were chatting, Flo appeared at the top of the stairs.

  It was like watching a movie go into slow motion.

  ‘And this is Flo,’ I said.

  He looked up at her as she descended the stairs. His eyes widened. She noticed him and her cheeks flushed pink. She lowered her eyelashes, looked back up at him and their eyes locked.

  Now that’s chemistry, I thought as Pia glanced over at me with sympathy. She’d seen it too, and for a few moments, it was like the rest of us didn’t exist.

  5

  Pia’s Project

  Pia sent me a text the next morning.

  Be at Alisha’s Saturday 10am on pain of death.

  ‘What are you up to?’ I asked when we got the bus home from school on Friday. Every time I’d seen her in breaks, she’d been on her phone, texting or talking.

  ‘All will be revealed tomorrow,’ she said and went back to
her texting. I tried to see over her shoulder but she put her hand over her phone. I looked out the window into the gloomy grey afternoon and thought about last night. We’d had a fun time in the VIP shed. Alexei seemed genuinely thrilled to meet us all and when Charlie and Henry came to join us, they all hit it off and talked music and movies. Anyone could see though, that despite the fact that we were in a group, Alexei and Flo only had eyes for each other, and I noticed that before he left, he took her number and email address. I couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous even though I was glad for Flo. Like me, she’d never had a proper boyfriend, and it would boost her confidence to have had someone like Alexei so obviously smitten at first sight. I’d love it if a boy fell for me like that but it never seemed to happen that way. Maybe I just wasn’t the type boys fell head over heels over. So that leaves Meg, Alisha and me sans boyfriend, I thought. ‘All by my-se-e-elf,’ I warbled.

  Pia looked at me. ‘And stop singing that song,’ she said. ‘That’s if you can call what you do singing.’

  ‘It’s my theme song,’ I replied. ‘I am destined to be all alone forever.’ I put on my best tragic heroine look, which is noble with a touch of sadness.

  Pia laughed. ‘And now you look like you’ve just sucked a lemon. You’re such a drama queen. Mr Right will come along one of these days.’

  ‘Yeah. He’ll come along and walk right past me and into the arms of one of my mates.’

  ‘Flo?’

  I nodded.

  ‘They make a nice couple. And honestly, Jess, I don’t think he was the one for you and I think you knew it. You like guys with a bit of edge, like Tom, he’s wicked, and anyone can see JJ’s really bright. He knows about all sorts of stuff and that would keep you interested. Alexei seems . . . sweet, a romantic like Flo. I just can’t see you liking someone gazing into your eyes like a big soppy dog. You’d have got bored and be longing for someone to give you a bit of cheek.’

  ‘I wouldn’t mind. I might like the chance to get bored with a boy and I can do romantic. I’m sure I could. You might be right though. I didn’t feel a spark with Alexei and it was obviously there with him and Flo.’