Behind Her Eyes

by RB Schalin

  Chapter 18

 

  After school the next day I hurried home. I was so excited that Brooke would come and stay with us. When I came home, I found my mother in the kitchen.

  ‘Hi mom.’

  ‘Good, you are here, why don’t you help me fix up the guest room for Brooke since she should be here in a couple of hours.

  We changed the sheets, and opened the windows to air out the room. My mom picked some flowers from the garden to decorate with. The room was small but I thought it would be perfect. It was light, and had flowery wallpaper and a window towards the garden. There was no bathroom inside, but the guest bathroom was just around the corner. As we finished the last details my mother said to me, ‘Remember, no sneaking around at night. Brooke needs a lot of rest and the doctors have given her medication so I don’t want any late nights.’

  ‘C’mon mom, we are just kids, remember.’

  ‘Yeah, right,’ she said with a smile.

  My mother had to pick up Amy from ballet so I was at home alone. When I turned on my computer, I saw that there was another video message from Lauren.

  She was standing right in front of the camera in a room with artificial light, dressed in one of those summer dresses Brooke liked to wear. She had her hair down wearing a mask that just covers her eyes. I could see her mouth and part of her nose and she was smiling into the camera.

  ‘Hi John, I hope you liked my last video, I know it might have taken you by surprise, but I think it’s important we talk, you and I. You see, Amanda or Brooke, was a bad girl when we lived at home. She did things to Johnny she shouldn’t have, and she had to be punished. The day I went back to that awful house, I didn’t expect Johnny and my mother to be at home, my intention was to kill Brooke and my father, but as it turned out, Brooke got away and by accident I shot Johnny. My mother, well, that bitch didn’t deserve to live after what she had allowed my father to do. She knew, but did nothing.

  So, here we are John, just you and me. And that’s the way I want it, just you and me, forever. Would you like to see what I made for you?’

  She picked up the camera and panned around focusing on a similar altar that Brooke had made, but this one had my photos on it. There were photos of me at school, walking, going into or out of my house, in the supermarket with my parents, playing with Amy outside, me with Mike and Tom. Looking at the photos I realized she had been taking photos almost as long as I had known Brooke. The strangest thing was that there were no photos of me and Brook.

  She put the camera back on the tripod, and stepped back into view,

  ‘You see John, I loved Johnny too. And since I can’t have him, I want you.’

  She turned off the camera.

  I was stunned by her revelations which left me breathless. Then I forwarded the video to Chief Harris.

  I was downstairs getting myself a drink and as I closed the fridge door a police cruiser arrived with Brooke and I went outside to meet her

  She came running into my arms, and we held each other tight.

  ‘Honey, it’s so good to see you again’ she said giving me a kiss on the cheek. ‘I have missed you so much.’

  ‘Me too baby,’ I had tears in my eyes. ‘I thought we would pick you up?’

  ‘I finished early with the psychologist, so the Chief offered to drive me here.’

  Chief Harris and Agent Willcrow walked up to us.

  ‘Chief, I got another email from Lauren, which I forwarded to you. I’m really worried she is planning to do something terrible.’

  ‘Don’t worry; we will place an officer outside your house until we catch her.’

  ‘She must have arrived right after Brooke. She had photos of me that show she has been here at least two weeks.’

  ‘Maybe she followed me, when I left my uncle that night. She would easily recognize the Mercedes, it does kind of stick out.’

  Agent Willcrow cleared his throat and began to polish his glasses again as he spoke.

  ‘The analyst at Quantico looked at the tape, but they say it’s too short to give any kind of clear definition of how unstable she is. Now, taking into account what we know she has done, and her being here in town, I suggest that Brooke and John stay inside, and don’t go out until she is caught, not even to school. She is clearly coming apart, and we don’t know what she is planning to do.’

  ‘She will try to kill me. When I talked to the psychologist today, I began to remember a few things, and before Lauren left the house after she promised my dad not to tell, she said she would come back for me. She said I abused Johnny to get back on our dad for abusing me. Our father never laid a hand on Johnny. To him Johnny was the future of the family, good grades, college education later on and so on. Since our mother was never home, Lauren first and then I became substitutes for her, he had us clean, make food for him, do laundry and so on. I think he felt he had two little wives at home.’

  ‘Interesting thoughts, but there is no way of knowing for sure what’s in Lauren’s head, until we can talk to her. Now, you kids go inside, and we’ll keep in touch’ said Chief Harris.

  As we were talking my mother had come back with Amy, and after letting her in she walked down the pathway in the garden towards us.

  ‘Hi Brooke, and welcome back.’

  ‘Thank you, it’s so nice of you letting me stay here.’

  ‘Oh, I’ll do almost anything to keep my boy happy.’

  Inside the house I showed Brooke to her room.

  ‘There is something I have to ask you Brooke. How did you come up with the Romeo and Juliet clause you told my dad about?’

  Brooke was arranging the few clothes she had bought before Chief Harris brought her over in neat order according to color in the wardrobe in the corner. She turned around.

  ‘Pretty slick, don’t you think. I looked it up on the Internet. There have been a few cases when mostly young men have been jailed for many years for being with an under aged girlfriend, even though they were in a consensual relationship and with the parents approval. Once this clause was past, many of them have gotten out, and I thought it was worth a try.’

  ‘I’m happy you found it, now we can be together, no more sneaking around.’

  She came over to me and made me sit down on the bed.

  ‘John, I know I am sick and I need treatment. I need to get what is haunting me out in the open, or at least try to. Staying here with you is temporary and at one point I have to get into a hospital, or at least see someone who can help me. This means I will have to leave you.’ She looked down, and I saw tears running down her cheeks.

  ‘No, you can’t leave, Brooke.’

  ‘I have to,’ she sobbed, ‘I have to, John.’

  I held her close to me, and I didn’t want to let go of her. There was a knock on the door.

  ‘Kids, your dad is home, we thought about ordering pizza,’ my mother said.

  ‘That’s fine Mom.’

  Brooke went back to fiddling with her clothes.

  ‘Brooke, I think the clothes are fine, and in order.’

  ‘I know John, it’s just that when I am upset I tend to arrange and rearrange my clothes, it began at the same time as the abuse. It calms me.’

  I got up and left her alone to organize her wardrobe.

   

  Chapter 19

  We were sitting in the living room waiting for the pizza to arrive. My dad in his favorite armchair and Brooke and I were on the sofa with Amy between us. I think she was a bit jealous, not being the center of her brother’s attention. My mom, who was bringing in glasses and a couple of bottles of soda when the doorbell chimed went to open it. She came back with two large boxes which she sat down on the table. We all moved in closer and began to eat. The evening was fantastic; my parents were on their best behavior, no uncomfortable questions and no unnecessary comments. Amy wanted to play a game of Monopoly, and we split up into teams. Amy and Brooke versus my mom and I, and my dad was by himself. He was a really good Monopoly player,
not surprising, as he worked in a bank.

  At the end, my dad won as usual, Amy and Brooke came second and my mom and I end up bankrupt.

  Brooke stood up and said she felt tired and wished everyone good night. When I heard her finish in the bathroom I went to the guest room.

  ‘Will you be OK here, Brooke?’ I asked.

  ‘Yes, your family I so sweet, I wonder why my family couldn’t have turned out that way.’

  ‘I don’t know, maybe it’s just bad luck. As they say, we don’t choose our parents.’

  I kissed her good night, and walked up to my own room. I was really tired.

  My mom came in while I was taking off my clothes and getting ready for bed.

  ‘Hi.’

  ‘Hi John, I just wanted to see if you needed anything? It has been a long day.’

  ‘I am OK. How long can Brooke stay with us?’

  ‘I don’t know for sure. The sooner she gets help the better it will be, so perhaps a week or so.’

  ‘Only a week?’ I said disappointed.

  ‘I know you want her to stay longer, but it’s not in her best interest.’

  She kissed me good night and went off to see to Amy.

  At some point in the night I woke up. I needed to go to the bathroom. I went out into the corridor and turned left towards the bathroom, but something caught my eye. There was a soft light coming out under Amy’s door. I walked over thinking that my mom had left Amy’s night light on. Sometimes Amy wanted it kept on. I opened the door to peek in when suddenly my heart skipped a beat.

  Amy was sitting up in her bed, with a pillow behind her back. Her eyes were open wide and her face was as white as a ghost’s. I could see her lips quiver and tears were glistering on her cheeks.

  Brooke was beside her and her left arm was around Amy’s shoulders and holding what looked like a box cutter under her chin. Her right hand was stroking Amy’s bare chest and stomach. She kissed her lightly on the ear and down her cheek.

  Without turning towards me she said, ‘Hi baby. You should come over here and join us. Amy tastes and smells so good. Remember my niece Mia, Uncle James daughter? She became a very good kisser after a couple of weeks.’

  I felt that the pizza was on its way up. I swallowed hard not to puke right there and then, and managed to say, ‘Brooke, please leave her alone, she hasn’t done anything to you.’

  ‘That’s right, I have been doing everything so far, but don’t worry she will learn, just like I did. Lauren had this neat trick where she would put something sweet on just the right places, and then ask me to lick it up. It took me a few years to understand, but around thirteen I got it, and my first orgasm.’

  My hands were clammy and I could feel sweat breaking out on my forehead. I could hear Brooke, but it didn’t make sense what she was saying and now her previously lovely laugh sounded dark and ominous.

  ‘Oh, poor little John, you still don’t get it, do you?’

  ‘No.’ I managed to say as I saw Brooke’s right hand disappear under Amy’s covers. Amy tensed, the blade was still under her chin.

  ‘Our father never abused us. Sure, he was a bit of a weirdo, and my mother did have a drinking problem, but he never touched us, ever.

  ‘But?’

  ‘Shush! Let me explain. Lauren began playing with me when I was about seven, she was almost twelve. She called it doctor and patient. In the beginning it was just kids playing around. My father and mother knew about it, but went along as they thought it was an innocent game. A year past, and when Lauren started to menstruate and grow boobs, she became more intense in the game. I thought it was wonderful that my sister now looked like a woman. She would let me touch her breasts, and tell me that when I got my own, she would touch mine too.’

  ‘Brooke, please take the knife away from Amy.’

  ‘Shut up, John. Anyway, when I was fourteen, Lauren told me we should get Johnny into the game too. He was almost thirteen at the time. One night when he was sleeping we sneaked into his room. We touched him all over, and laughed as he got an erection in his sleep. But we must have been making too much noise. As we were fondling him, our father walked in, and turned on the light.’

  I had to get that knife from her but I couldn’t see anything I could use as a weapon. Amy was still crying silently. Brooke continued to kiss Amy’s cheek and shoulder as she spoke.

  ‘To make a long story short, we promised Dad that it would never happen again, which of course was a lie. We got Johnny to play along, promising him, candy, video games and sodas, anything he wanted. Then one day he told our parents. The little fucker snitched on us. That’s when Lauren ran away. I was still a minor so I stayed behind. We kept in contact, and made up a plan to get away from our parents and take Johnny with us.’

  I tried to move closer to Brooke in small steps, hoping the semi darkness was hiding my movements.

  ‘Lauren came back one night, and she had a gun with her. We met outside, and decided to shoot Mom and Dad first and then take Johnny. We kill Dad as he came out of the kitchen. Lauren ran up to the bedroom looking for Mom. I began searching for money and other valuables. I heard a scream and then a shot, followed by running and another shot. Lauren came downstairs. She was crying, looking up at me she told me that she had shot Johnny when he had tried to take the gun off her. I began to cry too. Lauren took the valuables and left. I stay behind to light the fire, and be around when the Police showed up. We wanted it to look like a robbery gone wrong’

  I was about ten feet from Brooke, I was not sure if it was close enough to reach her before she could cut Amy. The box cutter was still at her throat, and I could see her free hand moving around under Amy’s blanket.

  ‘Hey John, you should try this, it’s so smooth.’

  ‘Fuck off Brooke. I am not you.’

  ‘C’mon John, don’t be shy. It’s OK to confess, tell me you never fantasize about your sweet little Amy?’

  ‘Never, Brooke, never.’

  ‘Fine, but you are losing out on a great experience. Anyway, when the police arrived, I told them someone had entered the house, shot my family, and burned the house down. When things calmed down I moved to Uncle James. From there, everything is pretty much as I told you, only that uncle James caught both me and Lauren with Mia, and as you must understand, he and his family had to go.’

  Brooke took her hand out from under the blanket, and began caressing Amy’s face.

  ‘Wasn’t that nice Amy, baby?’

  Amy sobbed quietly.

  ‘She will come around, I did.’ Brook said as she got out of the bed, She stood next to Amy, the box cutter still under her chin.’

  ‘Now John, this is what’s going to happen. You are going to go downstairs and get one of the guns from the wall. Then you shoot your parents, and we leave with Amy. Lauren will join us, and the four of us will live happily ever after.’

  I calculated the risk of jumping her, I had no other choice. She looked sideways at Amy, and that’s when I went for her.

  I tackled her hard, and she fell backwards. I had grabbed her midsection and my momentum made the both of us continue falling. There was a window behind her, and we went right through it. I could hear the glass break, and we fall to the ground.

  I struggled to breathe, and when I got my breath back, I saw I was on top of Brooke. She was not moving, her eyes were glassy and there was blood coming out from under her head. I rolled off her and sat on the ground. My body went cold and I was shaking uncontrollably, I heard Amy’s screams. The front door opened and my dad came running out, asking me what had happened.

  ‘She went after Amy dad.’ I said sobbing.

  ‘OK son, it’s over. Come inside while I call the police.’

   

  Chapter 20

  Amy was too young to be a witness, and she was too traumatized by the experience. They brought in a child psychologist, but no one could make Amy talk about that night, it was as if it had never happened. My parents were both sleeping, and the o
nly two people who could talk about Brooke’s mood swings and personality were dead, Tom and Mike. I wasn’t sure if it was Brooke or Lauren, who had killed them, maybe it was both of them together.

  Lauren was gone, Chief Harris searched all over town. Eventually they found where she had been staying, but no clues to where she was going. She is wanted in our state as well as in three others for murder and arson. Maybe they will catch her one day.

  It was only my version of what happened in the room that night. The judge sentences me to five years for manslaughter, but my lawyer was sure we could appeal, and hopefully get the sentence suspended.

  I spend most of my time thinking about the days I was with Brooke, trying to figure out if at some point she had said anything that should have made me suspicious. My counselor said I should stop blaming myself, Brooke was sick, and that’s that. But I can’t. I loved her so deeply, and I think that on some level she loved me too, and I hope, not just as a substitute for her little brother.

   

  Chapter 21

  Great news! My lawyer came by today to tell me the police have dropped the case. They finally found the box cutter Brooke had used. When I pushed her through the window her arm went up and the box cutter was thrown across my mom’s rose bushes, and into the neighbor’s compost, where it was found by the neighbor a few days ago. He heard what had happened from my parents, so when he found a box cutter which he knew wasn’t his he called Chief Harris who sent forensics to collect it where it lay. They were able to extract a partial fingerprint which was matched to Brook.

  Chapter 22

  Today I got a letter. It smelled vaguely of perfume, and on the back flap the sender had kissed the paper leaving a mark in lipstick. It was post stamped in Miami. Here’s what it said.

  Dear John,

  I am sorry I could not be there the night Brooke died. I was supposed to be outside the house waiting for her signal, but I got a flat tire, can you believe it? By the time I got to your house the police was all over the place.

  I am in Miami thinking of you. Thinking of how you are responsible for killing Brooke. My Brooke, who I loved in more ways than you could ever understand.

  I want you to know, I will be waiting for you.

  Love and kisses

  Lauren

  Suddenly, I didn’t feel like leaving Juvie, it was safer there.