by Tiana Laveen
A tear ran down her face. Ace reached into his glove box and pulled out a small satchel of tissues, handing them to her. He looked as if he hadn’t slept in days, and that was odd, because he appeared so refreshed and happy earlier in the week. She took a tissue out of the pretty gold and red cloth container, wiped her tears and blew her nose. Just then, his cell phone rang. She dug into her pocket, glanced down at it and handed the phone to him.
“Yeah…” he answered. “Yeah, I’m still here at the house, I’m just outside…yeah, uh huh… I’m having a conversation with Brooklyn. Yes, everything is fine…I’ll be in in a moment…okay.” He disconnected the call, glanced at her and smiled. “My father, wanting to make sure I hadn’t run off.”
She swallowed and nodded in understanding, then she looked out the window. Fake deer stood covered in white, soft flakes. The scene looked like something out of a Disney movie. The house was shrouded in pine trees, the vast porch now partially covered in fresh snow, adding authenticity to the slew of glittery decorations and structures that gave it the appearance of a winter wonderland. She raised her finger and drew a picture of a star in the condensation-covered window.
“One Christmas,” she began, nervously twirling a fringe from her silver holiday sweater, “when I was a little girl, my father took me to see Santa Claus. Me, my brother Earlwood Jr. and my little sister, Claudia.” She smiled, and her reflection smiled back at her. “I was so scared, Ace. He sat me on that man’s lap and when Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I burst out in tears.” She laughed lightly. Beyond that, the atmosphere in the car remained disconcertingly silent. He sat still, without moving a muscle. “I was afraid. All I wanted was my daddy. I didn’t like strangers. I didn’t trust people. My family kept me so protected, especially my father…so shut off from the world that I scared easily.
“All that man dressed up in the red outfit did was ask me one little question, and,” she shrugged her shoulders, “I almost peed myself. I hated that about myself years later, the shyness… It caused me to clam up and have anxiety. It was debilitating.
“I wanted to change it, so, in high school, I made an effort to be more social. It worked. I went to a very prestigious high school with hardly any black people there, but despite that, my junior and senior year, I was voted most popular. I was still a little timid though at times…and then, I saw they were having this trip from my Spanish class. People from the Spanish Club were going to Portugal. When that was over, I went to Spain on my own, despite my father’s protests. It was too late. The travel bug had bitten me. I was addicted to running around and running away, escaping into new places. I entered new worlds, all by myself sometimes, and that was the only time I wasn’t anxious!” She felt her heart racing, then a warm hand land on her thigh. She didn’t dare look at him, just kept on talking.
“I found out that nothing was scarier than being a hostage to one’s own fears. I was finally free, Ace, I was free! I spent that next year between my studies, and sometimes for them, going all over the place. I saved up all of my birthday and holiday money so I could travel, discover new places. I began to visit all the museums I could, too — but I never put two and two together at that time, that my true calling was archeology. I would be at museums, learning about all sorts of people and their cultures until the place would literally shut down around me.” She paused and grinned. “The museum security at any given place had to escort me out on more than one occasion. It was like…an obsession. This way, I could still keep to myself, stay cocooned, while being around a lot of people. They may have been dead, but their stories lived on in my mind. I always wished I could get into a time machine and interview some of these tribes that have long vanished…
“Things were going too well, I guess. My father had been promoted and our nice house was being remodeled. He built two additional bedrooms, a rec room, all sorts of stuff. It was a beautiful house.” She looked out at Ace’s childhood home, the big house on a hill with the Christmas lights around it still twinkling just so. “…Much like your parents’.” She sniffed and blew her nose. “I was the happiest I’d ever been. I got accepted into all the colleges that I was interested in, all of them. I had my pick of the litter. I got into Harvard, too, just to see if I could.”
“I was very close to my parents. We were a close family back then…”
He grabbed her hand and squeezed it, as if he knew, this was where the truth would be revealed. A gift, from her to him…
“But then…I saw something so terrible, so horrible, Ace, that it all ended!” She wanted to scream, but no sound came out. Spent with grief, she relived the scene in her mind.
“Lynne Henderson died the day I saw my father…do something unconscionable.” Falling apart, she blew her nose again and began to rock herself, arms crossed around her chest. She’d run from the memory for so long, refusing to venture there again, but here she was, in the thick of it, on this glorious Christmas now soiled with sooty memories, horrid revelations, and her world crashing all around her feet.
“Give me a minute.”
“…Take your time.”
“I went…I went to his job. He was running late. He was rarely late from work. I remember being so excited about the acceptance letter I’d received to start a co-op program for biology studies at a medical facility. It was hard to get in that program…and everyone who did went on to get really good jobs, you know?” She blew her nose. “What an exciting time. I’d been the first black woman ever accepted, Ace. This meant a whole lot to me, and to my family.” She wiped another tear. “This was a big deal, you know…so…uh, I went…um, I mean, I got in my little Honda, all ecstatic. I wanted to tell him to his face, to see his reaction. I knew he’d be so happy!” She sniffed. “I kept thinking, ‘Where is my Daddy so I can tell him this news?’ I thought maybe he got caught up in a meeting or something since he was running late. Well, I couldn’t wait to tell him. I got to his office building. It was dark outside, but I could see a few lights on.
“So, um, I walked in. No one was in there. Even the receptionist had left. I got on the elevator, gripping that letter so tight, a big ol’ silly grin on my face.” She couldn’t stop sniffing and wiping tears…then Ace scooted a bit closer and dabbed at her left eye while she ran her fingers through her wet hair. His gentleness warmed her throughout.
“I got up to his floor, where his office was. I heard a strange noise, so, uh, I stopped. Something inside of me, something in my gut told me to hide…things just didn’t feel right. I guess they call that intuition. So, I did. I stood off to the side, behind a wall. In the reflection of the glass office door, I could see my father pulling someone by their shoulders…across the floor. The body was slumped over, lifeless and bleeding, too. I had to…I had to put both of my hands over my mouth to keep from screaming. I didn’t understand what happened, but I knew something very bad had taken place. My father was huffin’ and puffin’, dragging that weight until he disappeared into the elevator, and then, he was gone. I stood there, tryna figure out what I was going to do…I had recognized the man’s face, too.
“He was a friend of my family’s. My godfather, Ace. I’d known him my whole life. Me and my brother and sister, grew up with this man’s kids, for God’s sake! I couldn’t believe my father could do something like that!” she hollered out, the pain fresh once again. Ace grabbed her, holding her tight.
“Don’t you see?! My daddy, the best man in the world, the man that was in my heart, my protector…he was a monster! I could barely move, but I managed to get out of there. I couldn’t eat or sleep for days. Then, on the news, my godfather’s body showed up in a field. I had to excuse myself and go throw up. My father just sat there on the couch, as if nothing had happened. He didn’t even bat an eye. I was afraid of him, Ace!
“I was afraid to even be in the same house with him, to be…with someone who had done something so awful. I had to leave, Ace. I had to get out of there. I didn’t want to be the only witness to that…I didn’t
want to chance him finding out that I knew he did it! Would I be next if he knew? Though, I didn’t want to believe that. I didn’t know what to believe any more at that time. I’d never been so afraid in all of my life. Santa Claus was no boogeyman and no one to fear; my father was the biggest beast of all! Don’t you see?!” Panic gripped her as she felt like that teenager all over again. “My father killed a man, Ace! Killed him and dumped his body in a field, like that man was just nothing!”
Ace grabbed her wrists, bringing her to him like she was a fallen angel in need of help. He shook her, knocking her back to her senses as she fell from the heavens of reality, losing her valuable faculties. Planting a firm kiss on her lips, he ran his hands roughly through her hair, then stopped and looked down at her, their lips grazing one another’s as his heated breath warmed her.
“Baby, don’t you think I already know that?!”
~***~
Brooklyn lay still with Ace sprawled protectively over her form. They’d been there together for several hours, not saying a word. They’d rejoined the party earlier that evening, putting on smiling faces, while tension simmered between them — but also, the promise of a new playing field. Much to his surprise, while he was driving her home, she told him to turn around, that she wanted to sleep at his house instead. She didn’t want to be alone, and she didn’t want her own surroundings.
Naked, he lifted himself up from her to lie on his side. He reached for a cigarette and lit it with a match, then sat up to lean against his headboard.
“We switched places. You had a nightmare last night…a bad one. You’re moving in with me,” he announced gruffly as he scratched his thigh and took another puff.
She sniffed and rubbed her nose as she rested on her belly. He was sure she’d caught a damn cold.
“Do I have a choice?” she asked in a muffled whisper, her lips still pushed into the pillow.
He blew out another puff of smoke and cast his eyes towards his wide window. The sun shone bright, moving around the clouds with her big yellow ass, taking the stage that she owned and commanded.
“You always have a choice.”
“Hmmm…” She groaned and turned towards him, her eyes still closed.
“Are you hungry?” He tapped a few ashes in the ashtray on his nightstand.
“Not really…”
“You need to eat.”
“I can’t…”
“You have to. I’ll make you something. Anyway, I’m glad you’ve at least considered taking a vacation from work. You had so much time racked up, you could have stayed away for three months and been fine.” He gave a small smile and reached forward, gently stroking her back. “Of course, when you travel all over the place as part of your job, I suppose vacations are taken for granted, so to speak.”
“Yeah.” She yawned.
Ace put his cigarette down, took her hand and kissed it. Emotion welled inside him. That night, she tossed and turned and yelled out. The scene felt all too familiar. He’d awoken a deadly sleeping giant within her, which now tormented her. Earlier, he’d reached out to her, held her tight, certain she’d begin to fight him again, but she didn’t. Rather, the fear drove her further into his grasp. Before he knew it, she was kissing him, all over, crying and kissing, kissing and crying until he was inside of her, making love, collecting her tears along his chest as The Passengers sang, ‘Let Her Go’ on his CD player…
You only miss the sun when it starts to snow…
“I don’t want to go back home, Ace. At least not right now.”
He knew that feeling, the one of wanting to start over, to build a new bridge and cross the fuck over into something new, go into a place where one re-builds oneself and forgets from where one came.
“Fine. Let’s arrange to get your things. I’ll hire someone to get your stuff packed up. It’s probably for the best, anyway.”
“Why? You said he didn’t know anything.” Her nose wrinkled.
“He doesn’t, but he isn’t stupid. I’ve been avoiding him too long. Whether or not he suspects me of lying is not even the issue anymore. He is going to return and tear this city up trying to find you. He knows you’re here. He knew too much about me before he came. He knows my reputation.”
“And to just think if I’d done a Google search of you, I may have, too.” She snickered, but clearly not amused.
“Brooklyn,” He picked up his cigarette and took a long drag. “That’s just it. I think from the beginning, baby, a part of me wanted you to find out on your own, so I wouldn’t have to tell you.”
“Funny…I had the same desire, too.”
He smiled faintly. “I never give a subject my real name in the event I actually have to speak with them, interact. I have business cards with other names, all of that, but…I didn’t want to do that with you. I even thought about it after I did it. I knew what I was doing. Somewhere inside of me, I wanted to get busted.” He retrieved his cigarette and took another puff, closed his eyes and leaned back, exhausted. A telling silence reigned for a while. He slowly opened his eyes and scanned her. Her hands were crossed over her chest. Then, she sighed, and looked down at her sheet-covered lap. He glanced at her exposed breasts, then turned back away.
“I’ve always been so careful,” she offered quietly, now looking up at the ceiling. “I’ve chosen to not get close to many people. I didn’t tell anyone the truth about where I’d grown up. I got my identity changed, new name, new social security number, the whole bit. I’ve always been paranoid, too. A part of me…” She paused and swallowed. “A part of me was just tired, Ace. I was so…exhausted. I just wanted to live my life, you know? I felt like you might be the person that let me do that. I liked you, and then, I loved you.”
He continued to smoke until the room filled with the scent.
“I even thought about telling him I believed you were dead…”
“Well, why don’t you?” She rose up on her elbow, looking at him as if that was the solution to all of their problems.
“Because he’d need proof, and you have to get certain documents for that. It would be tedious. I could pull it off, but that wouldn’t be enough for a man like your father — you know that. He’d need to see your corpse, a verified death certificate, something. He won’t give in, he won’t ever give up. That’s why he’s been so successful as a businessman, and just about everything he does. He and I have that in common…”
She turned away, gripping a pillow tightly against her lean, naked body.
Oh, no…where do you think you’re going?
He quickly smothered his cigarette and rolled on top of her, pressing his chest into her back. He kissed the back of her shoulders and spine, while caressing her shoulder. She moaned and wiggled a bit.
“Make love to me again,” she murmured.
“Why do you think I’m over here, baby?” he slurred.
He traced her skin with his fingers as he ushered her legs open with his knee. The wet, smacking noises of his pecks along her skin intertwined with their mutual heavy breathing. Tenderly grinding and bumping against her, he felt her love wetting, her sighs increase, as he worked her system, waking the pussy from its rest. Reaching beneath her with one hand, he gripped her small, soft breast in his palm and kneaded it. Then, he pushed the head of his cock hard inside of her, eliciting a sweet moan as she arched her back into his chest and whimpered from his intrusion.
Rising and lifting her with him, her butt cheeks round and warm against his groin, they stared at at themselves in his mirror that ran along the center of the headboard. He braced himself on his knees, holding her around her waist, and entered her the rest of the way, making her scream out and her eyes roll as she took a fistful of pillow with her. Keeping her steady with a steely grip, he grunted and moved in and out of her with increased pressure and speed. He gasped for breath, bringing her ass to his groin over and over as he fucked her with due diligence.
“You’re safe…you’ll always be safe with me. I love the shit outta you!” His
balls slapped against her soaked pussy lips. He briefly looked down at his cock disappearing over and over inside of her, the bed catching their liquid love. He shuddered and gripped her even harder, wanting to keep her as close as possible. Bending a little, he covered her body with his, humping her ass. He glanced at the mirror to see her eyes closed as she fucked him back, working her ass against his nature. He held her possessively, his thrusts more determined and wild.
“Uhhh!”
“I love you…Ace.” Her lips parted as he jarred her body back and forth. The sweet, solemn words were what his heart needed. His stomach caved as he relished the lyrics.
“But do you forgive me, baby…?”
“I’m trying…I know, ahhh…”
He moved his hips in a circular motion, churning and turning his hard ass dick inside of her like a cement mixer.
“Ahhhh, shit. Ahhh, I know, you weren’t trying to…hurt me…”
“As long as you can one day forgive me, we’ll be okay. I’ll never lie to you again, Brooklyn, I promise… Do you believe me? Uhhh!” He wrapped his arms around her waist, buried his chin between her shoulders and pumped in and out of her like a damn throttle, eliciting a scream as her body twisted and twerked beneath him.
“Yes…I…” She couldn’t even finish the sentence. Her arm extended outward, she grabbed a handful of sheets and trembled beneath him. Her orgasm continued to tumble through her body, making her shake. He slowed down, watching her, taking it all in.
So beautiful.
Gently taking a few strands of her hair, he twirled it around his hand, forcing her to lift her face from the pillow. She sighed, opened her eyes and tossed him a lazy glance through the mirror. Rearing back, he then re-entered her at full force, making her claw and climb the fucking bed beneath him.
