Make Me: Twelve Tales of Dark Desire

by Aleatha Romig

  “Yes, miss, I’ll show them to the sitting room.”

  Claire went to Tony and whispered in his ear, “Sorry.”

  He turned to her—grinning—his voice adoring and playful, “You aren’t, yet—but give me some time.” There was a time when those words would have terrified her. Today wasn’t one of them—the wedding planning—being home—and the fanciful foreplay set a stage. The stage felt warm—like her visions.

  “I look forward to that promise.” She leaned against a counter and waited for him to contain himself. She tried, but couldn’t remember one time in the past eight months when he’d been in this predicament. Trying to contain her grin—she found it amusing.

  They walked hand in hand to the sitting room. When they reached the archway Brent and Courtney stood to greet them. Courtney ran to Claire and hugged her. Next to Catherine, it was the best response she received from anyone regarding their engagement. She really felt like she was being hugged by a friend. Claire couldn’t help feeling happy. It was a real happy—one that suddenly seemed to be recurring. She liked it. Courtney pulled Claire’s left hand to see her ring, and led her to one of the sofas. She wanted to hear all about New York, the proposal, and everything! Claire looked to Tony, but he and Brent were involved in a discussion which led them toward Tony’s office.

  Claire curled up on the sofa with her arms wrapped around her knees and chatted with her friend. It wasn’t uncomfortable or difficult. She didn’t feel threatened by Courtney’s questions or the pressured to feign her answers. She didn’t feel the need to minimize Tony’s extravagant proposal. She felt warm and accepted. Catherine brought them coffee, and Courtney listened as Claire told her about New York City—from shopping for the perfect outfit—to the cool crisp evening in Central Park, she retold the entire day. It all was so romantic! She wouldn’t repeat his proposal, but it was wonderful. She couldn’t believe he really proposed.

  Courtney could hardly contain her excitement. “We’ve been friends with Tony for a long time, and both Brent and I have noticed something different with Tony lately. The way he looks at you—we’ve never seen that look in his eyes before. It’s wonderful to see him in love.”

  The simplicity of chatting, giggling, and sharing, delighted Claire. Sometime during their conversation she thought she heard voices—loud voices coming from the direction of Tony’s office. Courtney heard them too. They shrugged and went on with their chat. Courtney told Claire she’d be willing to help her in any way. She would be glad to taste-test food or desserts, listen to music, tie bows for chairs, address invitations, whatever Claire needed. She was officially at her disposal.

  The men returned to the sitting room. Their disposition wasn’t as jovial as the ladies; however, they acted affable. Courtney finally asked, “Is everything all right?” Tony said it was and Brent agreed. The ladies were having too much fun to let the men change that. Courtney continued to ask about the wedding. Would it really be in three weeks? Did they like the coordinator and planner? When Tony wasn’t around she wanted the scoop on Claire’s dress. Then she told Tony about her offer to help Claire. She was so excited. They left about two hours after they arrived.

  Claire started to go upstairs to her suite when she remembered Patricia. Had she left? Tony said she had, when Brent arrived. Patricia took information home and would bring him a guest list to evaluate Monday at the office.

  “Can we please eat in my suite?” Claire asked. “It’s been a great day and I’m tired.”

  During dinner Tony told Claire he and Brent exchanged words during the afternoon. Brent was Tony’s head legal counsel as well as his best friend—Claire was surprised. “What happened?”

  Tony explained, “Brent borrowed a page from your brother-in-law’s advice book.”

  Claire sighed, “The prenuptial agreement again.”

  “Yes, Brent also insisted we have one.”

  “I don’t presume to know anything about your belongings, but if everyone thinks we should have one, let’s just do it.”

  She didn’t realize the conversation had become intense, but before she could blink he grasped her shoulders and lifted her from her chair. With his proximity too close, his harsh words came in warm breaths against her cheeks, “I am sick and tired of everyone telling me what to do. I’ve made my decision. That’s what I told Brent and what I’m telling you. There will not be a prenuptial agreement and do you know why?”

  Claire met his gaze. “Tony, please—you said you wouldn’t hurt me again.” He released her arms and she fell back to her chair.

  “And you promised to not give me cause.”

  She thought about his question, she hadn’t answered—not answering could be considered cause. “I don’t know why we shouldn’t have a prenuptial agreement—other than you don’t want one.”

  “That is part of it”—he paced—“The other part is…”—he knelt by Claire, his face once again too close to hers, his eyes shining black, and stared right at her. She didn’t look away, as he continued, slow and malevolent—“I know I won’t leave you, and I know you won’t leave me. Will you?”

  She was faced with one of those junctures—be frightened by his tone, proximity, and allow his sudden unpredicted change in disposition to ruin a day that she truly enjoyed—or attempt to defuse the situation before it got out of hand. She chose the second. She answered his question with a voice which sounded both calm and composed. “I agreed to be Mrs. Anthony Rawlings just three days ago. It has been a whirlwind since then, and my wedding is in three weeks. We’re both overwhelmed. Tony, I would never think of leaving you.”

  His eyes still flashed, blackness intensified. “Do you have any idea of the consequences if you did decide to leave me?”

  With continued eye contact and composure, she replied, “I would rather think about the consequences of staying with you and learning what makes you happy”—she smiled—“and learning what you want of me, and when you want it”—his eyes lightened and flickered brown—“Perhaps you could give me some hints?”

  He was calming. She watched the tension and fury leave his face. Continuing with the composed but now playful tone, she added, “As a matter of fact, I think you promised me something this afternoon in the kitchen.”

  It worked. He mellowed. She didn’t make the first move, wanting him to believe he was in control. When he didn’t speak and stood, she thought perhaps he was leaving her suite and this conversation was done. Instead, he scooped her out of the chair and carried her to the bed.

  He wasn’t his old self and he wasn’t his new gentle self. He was somewhere in between, but closer to gentle than the night before. Claire felt satisfied, she’d done it—she mellowed him. Her response resulted in the consequence she hoped—she was determined—she’d figure him out. In the meantime, this was a little thunder—no storm.

  Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods.

  —Aristotle

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

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  The next two and a half weeks flew by in a flash.

  Sometime during their first night home, Claire awoke and heard Tony’s breathing in her bed. The drapes were open, and the moonlight illuminated her suite. She looked around and snuggled into the soft covers. She was in her suite in her home—not in New York. In three weeks, it would actually be half hers. The monetary value wasn’t what enamored her. It was the fact that he wanted it to belong to her. She possessed memories she refused to revisit. She also possessed a promise of a future. As she cuddled under the fluffy down comforter next to her warm sleeping fiancé, she knew she would hold tight to that promise.

  They met with Brad and Monica on the Monday following Thanksgiving. Claire knew they were definitely worth the expense, whatever that may be. Tony told Claire not to worry about it. Their ideas were amazing. The wedding would take place in the grand entry, with Claire descending the staircase. It would be decorated with lights and sheer tapestries. The reception would be in the backy
ard, in a large floored, heated tent accessible to guests from the sun porch. There would be many Christmas trees and millions of clear lights. There would be evergreens and red flowers. Emily would wear black and carry a red bouquet. There would be an open bar and hors d’oeuvres and then a full sit-down meal of multiple courses. The cake was chic and decorated with real flowers. The flavors would include white, chocolate, raspberry, and carrot. Claire was especially excited about the string quartet from the Quad City Symphony, the place of her and Tony’s first night out.

  Tony gave them the list of guests Patricia had compiled. He asked Claire about guests over and over. She repeated, she only cared about Emily and John and Tony’s close friends. She saw the difficulty Emily had with Claire’s new lifestyle and feared her old friends wouldn’t feel comfortable. She mentioned Meredith as an example of why her friends from before should not attend; Tony couldn’t argue her logic. The guest list consisted of the few people who called Tony—Tony and 150 of his not so close business and political allies. People, he explained, who should be invited whom he liked, needed, or who needed him.

  Brad and Monica had a draft of the wedding invitation:

  You are cordially invited to the private wedding ceremony of:

  Ms. Claire Nichols and Mr. Anthony Rawlings.

  The ceremony will take place at the Iowa City estate of

  Mr. and Mrs. Rawlings

  on December the eighteenth two thousand and ten,

  at precisely five thirty in the evening.

  A dinner and dance reception will immediately follow at the estate.

  Patricia volunteered to receive and compile the RSVPs. It would all be handled at Tony’s Iowa City office.

  The string quartet would begin playing at 5:00 PM with the ceremony at 5:30 PM. There would be valet parking and a coat check since winter coats were predictable. The reception would include a live jazz band and dancing. There would not be a DJ, but there would be an MC to make announcements and talk to the guests. Each guest or couple would receive a gift basket in appreciation of their attendance from Mr. and Mrs. Rawlings. The baskets would include a bottle of fine wine, two crystal wine glasses, some fine chocolates wrapped in red and green foil, and a note thanking them for their attendance.

  When Brad asked Claire if her father would be giving her away, she told him her father was deceased. He asked if she had anyone else to give her away or did she plan to walk down the stairs and aisle alone. The question prompted Claire to think of John. She didn’t ask; she just looked at Tony.

  Tony sighed and responded, “She’d like to have her brother-in-law give her away.” Later Tony told Claire he liked the idea. Perhaps if John gave her away, he’d accept that she was his wife first and foremost. Tony, Brent—his best man—and John would all need matching tuxedos. Tony liked Armani and said he’d contact the men to have the tuxedos tailored. It didn’t take Tony and Brent long to reach a mutual understanding regarding the prenuptial agreement—Tony agreed not to have one—Brent agreed to accept Tony’s decision.

  Once Tony and Claire approved Brad and Monica’s designs and blueprints, the work began. First thing Tuesday morning, crews of workers descended upon the estate. There were trucks with cherry pickers putting lights in trees, and electricians connecting wires to ensure illumination. A construction crew worked in the backyard constructing the large tent, with more electricians for lighting and heating.

  There were people in the house putting up decorations. Catherine was uneasy with the multitude of people. She made sure everyone knew she was in charge of the house and everyone answered to her.

  Claire did her best to stay out of the way. Tony left each morning for work. He had a wedding in less than three weeks and the pesky challenge of a multibillion-dollar industry which needed his attention. He even needed to make some day trips to places as far away as Dallas, Los Angeles, and New England.

  Claire also needed to make a few more trips to New York for dress fittings. Tony hadn’t planned for that. It was Courtney’s offer of help in any way that reduced his anxiety. He required Claire to be the one to call Courtney and inquire. Courtney sounded thrilled. They’d use Tony’s jet as long as he wasn’t using it. If he needed to travel there would be Rawlings Industries jets available. Eric would accompany them.

  Tony also allowed Claire to contact Emily and John after the meeting with Brad and Monica. She let Emily know that her dress would be black. Emily sounded elated to learn it wasn’t pink. Claire also asked John if he would do her the honor of walking her down the aisle and giving her away. He responded, “Claire, I’d be honored to walk you down the aisle, but know I’ll never give you away.”

  Of course, Tony was listening as she spoke and rolled his black eyes. She didn’t let her voice falter and thanked John for his constant devotion. Claire also reminded Emily to contact the boutique regarding her fittings and told them that Tony or his secretary, Patricia, would be contacting them about their travel plans as well as John’s tuxedo.

  Everything was falling into place.

  On their first trip to New York, Claire and Courtney left Iowa early on Wednesday morning, the December 8. With an hour time difference, it took three and a half hours to get to NEW YORK CITY. They left at 6:00 AM, which both ladies said was too early. They arrived before 10:00 AM EST and went directly to the boutique. The dress was ready and in need of alterations. Claire’s shoes were white Mary Jane-style beaded four-inch heels. They looked magnificent with the dress.

  When Claire exited the dressing room, Courtney screamed. At first it shocked Claire, but then she started laughing—Courtney was a riot. Claire had so much fun with her. Courtney went on and on about how stunning, beautiful, and stylish Claire looked. She promised Tony would be spellbound from the moment he saw her.

  After the boutique Courtney told Eric she and Claire were going to the Astor Court at the St. Regis Hotel, one of the top New York tea rooms, for lunch. She also told him he didn’t need to worry about picking them up until after 3:00 PM—they had some shopping to do. Claire tried to argue. She didn’t want to discuss her uneasiness, but she knew she’d only received permission for her gown fitting—not shopping. Courtney wouldn’t discuss it. With no way to contact Tony, Claire felt increasingly ill.

  Once they arrived at the tea room, Courtney casually mentioned, “Tony and I agreed when we spoke the other night, you need a new dress for the wedding rehearsal, and this afternoon would be a great time to find one.” Claire relaxed. She wished he’d said something, but if he knew about it—she felt better.

  Without saying all of that to Courtney, Claire smiled and said, “Well, all right then, let’s have some lunch and find the best rehearsal dress in the city!” She’d shopped many times with her credit card, but shopping with a friend and her credit card was much better. Courtney helped her find a beautiful red Valentino cotton tweed dress with an asymmetrical bow. The V neck would show off her journey necklace, and of course she needed new shoes for her new dress. The Salvatore Ferragamo leather peep-toe pumps were a perfect complement. Not only did she look stunning, but the color was also perfect for the whole Christmas theme. Claire enjoyed shopping with someone who seemed comfortable with the higher-end purchases.

  The rehearsal would be at Tony and Claire’s house, but Courtney insisted the rehearsal dinner be at her and Brent’s house. After all, it was the groom’s parents’ responsibility, and they were Tony’s oldest and dearest friends. They would be honored to host this special event. Claire thanked her for her kindness, and told her she would talk to Tony and get back to her as soon as possible.

  When Claire returned home she was relieved to arrive before Tony. When 7:00 PM came and he arrived for dinner, she found herself nervous about the additional shopping and luncheon. He didn’t alleviate her unease when he asked about her day. How did she like her dress? Oh, she liked it very much, and Courtney liked it too. Did they come right back to Iowa after the boutique?

  Claire hesitated and watched. Tony’s exp
ression didn’t reveal any knowledge of her activities. She suddenly worried Courtney told her it was okay just to pacify her. Bravely, Claire put on her mask, bit her lip, and casually continued, “Oh no, we didn’t. Courtney prearranged with you”—she added—“to make a day of it.”

  While Claire answered Tony looked at his plate and then moved only his eyes slowly toward Claire. “Excuse me?”

  Her heart raced. “Why didn’t you tell me you arranged for us to shop for my rehearsal dress?”

  He smiled. “Courtney drives a hard bargain. She’s hard to resist.”

  The ladies scheduled their final visit to the boutique for Saturday, December 11, one week before the wedding. They planned to arrive at the boutique by 10:00 AM, have a final fitting, and return at 3:00 PM to try on the dress again with the final alterations and bring it home to Iowa. This trip also had surprises planned. On Friday evening as Tony and Claire ate, his iPhone rang. He answered and handed Claire the phone. It was unusual for her to receive a call, and especially unusual for her to talk on a telephone without it being on speaker. She answered tentatively, “Hello? This is Claire?”

  “Hi, it’s Cort.” Claire understood why Tony allowed her to talk; he trusted Courtney. Her voice comforted Claire. Courtney went on to let Claire know Sue, MaryAnn, and Bev were joining them for New York City tomorrow. Since they had time to spare between fittings, the women planned on taking Claire out for a bridal shower luncheon. Stunned and startled, Claire was thrilled. She hadn’t even considered a shower, after all Tony could buy anything she needed, but it was part of the wedding tradition. She told Courtney it sounded wonderful and asked if she could hold a minute. Claire hit the mute button on Tony’s phone and looked at him across the table meeting his intense gaze.