Make Me: Twelve Tales of Dark Desire

by Aleatha Romig

  As Brent got out of the car and walked into the institution, he worried about Claire, what would she look like? Had she been able to survive? How? He hated Tony and damned him with each echoing step down the long, tiled halls.

  A guard took him to a small dingy room, illuminated with a florescent glow, containing a steel table and four chairs. Brent set his briefcase on the table and waited. Looking around, he noticed the conspicuous camera in the corner. It reminded him of the videotaping mentioned in the preliminary brief and of his conversation with Tony:

  “You want me to go tell Ms. Nichols (Tony didn’t like to hear her first name) you’re considering a civil lawsuit against her—for what?”

  “Slander and deformation of character.”

  “Why, what did she say?”

  “It doesn’t matter. You don’t need to know—just do your job.” Tony’s voice was flat and authoritative.

  In actuality Brent was fishing—would Tony share the information Brent already knew? He also wondered if Tony knew that he knew—apparently not. “Tony, there’re many members of the legal team who weren’t as involved with Ms. Nichols as I. Perhaps one of them could inform her of the impending suit?”

  “No, it’ll be you”—his tone was firm and his eyes intense—“Have you ever noticed the nice cameras in those visitor rooms? Those tapes are available for a price. I assume you’ll not relay information to her that isn’t related to the suit. As a reminder, this will not be a friendly visit.” Brent said he understood.

  *

  Claire was reading in her cell, on that July afternoon, when her buzzer sounded. The sound meant she needed to go to her door. She’d be receiving something—usually a package. This time a guard informed her she had a visitor; her presence was immediately required in the visitor area.

  Claire had only received two visitors since her arrest. The first was in Iowa City, before she gave her plea and was transferred to the correctional institution. That day, following a guard, she found her best friend. Courtney was in Fiji during Claire’s arrest and came to the jail as soon as they returned to Iowa.

  Visibly distraught as Claire was escorted by a guard, Courtney apologized to Claire, for not being a better friend. If she had pursued her concerns more—perhaps Claire wouldn’t have felt the need to resort to such drastic measures in order to get away from Tony. Claire assured her, “I did not try to kill Tony. Please don’t believe everything you hear or see. Remember Tony’s regard for appearances. Many times, things were not as they seemed.” Courtney said she understood and would try to help her, but—Brent—his job—

  Claire hadn’t heard from her since. Honestly, she understood.

  The only other visitor since her incarceration was Emily. Claire knew the trip to Mitchellville, Iowa was difficult for her. When Emily had time to travel, she wanted to visit John in New York.

  Now, Claire curiously followed the guard down the halls and through multiple gates—each one locking—unlocking—and making the electronic beep sound. Wearing her prison clothes, she entered a room to find Brent Simmons. It had been so long, she momentarily thought she was seeing a friend. Brent’s expression instantaneously told her otherwise. After Claire sat where the guard indicated, he stepped from the room, leaving Brent and Claire alone.

  She knew this was business, but he was her friend. She couldn’t stop herself. “Brent, how are you? How’s Courtney? When is Caleb’s wedding?”

  Stone faced and sober, Brent replied, “Ms. Nichols, I’ve been instructed to inform you of an impending civil suit in which you’ll be named the defendant.”

  Creating an equally professional persona, Claire responded, “Okay, thank you for informing me. May I ask the grounds for this suit?”

  *

  “My client has reason to believe you’ve spoken slander against him. This defamation of his character is considered a ploy to damage his personal and professional reputation”—Brent said what was needed, with the demeanor necessary, but his thoughts were elsewhere. Claire looked different from what he expected. It wasn’t just her hair and the clothes, she had confidence and strength. These qualities had never been evident before. He recalled seeing her for the first time on Tony’s plane to New York. She looked nervous and insecure, yet tried to appear otherwise. Now after almost six months, three in a federal penitentiary, Claire seemed independent and strong. He knew it wasn’t where she’d been—but where she hadn’t. She hadn’t been under the gaze of the black eyes. Just like actual black holes, they sucked strength, confidence, and assurance out of anyone close enough to be pulled into their orbit.

  Claire laughed and replied, “Thank you, Mr. Simmons. I’m very concerned that your client will want my allegations made public—as would happen in such a suit.”

  “Ms. Nichols, damage to my client’s professional reputation could result in a loss of income. A civil suit is meant to subsidize any loss of income.”

  Smiling, she said, “And of course, I have the necessary capital to subsidize your client’s income.”

  “It’s my responsibility to inform you such a suit is under consideration, and if filed, you could be found liable.” Brent stood to leave.

  “Brent, can you please talk with me for a minute?” He continued to gather his belongings.

  “Mr. Simmons?” They made eye contact. “Your wife told me one time that life was not a daily test. She said perfection was not always necessary. I want you to know that I know. I know better than anyone else, today you passed a test”—Brent felt a minuscule amount of moisture leak from his eyes as he ever so slightly nodded his head in agreement. Looking down he started toward the door, but Claire’s confident tone stopped his movement—“Mr. Simmons, two more things”—He turned back toward her—“Should the subject arise—I welcome the suit. It’ll give me the opportunity to make my allegations again, perhaps to a larger forum”—He nodded with a knowing smile. She was right—Tony would never risk that exposure—“And the other thing, I truly love and miss your wife. If she cares—please tell her that I really am fine—more fine than I used to be.”

  “Thank you, Ms. Nichols. You have been notified.”

  “Yes, Mr. Simmons, I have. Thank you.” He knocked; the guard opened the door. He left.

  *

  The guard took Claire back to her cell. Walking through the halls, through the various locked gates, Claire couldn’t help feeling sorry for Brent. He was just north of fifty, but the lines and definite circles under his sad eyes made him look much older. She knew from experience, his prison was more of a hell than hers.

  About three weeks later she received a short note in the mail. The return address was a PO Box in Chicago. She didn’t recognize the name, but the note filled Claire with love and support. It wasn’t much, but it was something. To Claire, that was a lot!

  I care. I’m glad.

  I’m sorry. I miss you too,

  and I hope to be able to do more.

  love you!

  Cort

  Claire kept the note and read it daily. Over time, more notes arrived—Sue and Tim had a healthy baby boy—Caleb and Julia’s wedding was to be in June of 2013—little bits of information always signed with love.

  You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best that you have to give.

  —Eleanor Roosevelt

  Chapter Fifty-Two

  ‡

  When the package arrived in October of 2012, Claire assumed it was from Emily. After all, the label had her return address; however, when she opened the box, she knew otherwise. It contained old magazines, newspaper clippings or photocopied clippings, and some photographs. Everything in the box was meticulously organized and in chronological order. The first item was a note, not signed but it didn’t need to be:

  Consider this information perhaps the only act of complete honesty I have ever shown you. I didn’t need to do this, but I chose to educate you some more. Hopefully, you will understand that you were
but a piece of the puzzle. All behaviors, good or bad, have consequences, and even the truth can’t fight appearances. As I assume you have plenty of time available to you, read it all. You will find it enlightening. In another life, under different circumstances, it may have been different. You taught me much. I believe you learned lessons, too.

  PS. I told you once, your appropriate responses benefited you. The consequence could not be improved, but you did have a positive effect on the actions, for that we should both be thankful. I am.

  Sitting the box in the corner of her cell, Claire began with the first item—dated 1975—it was a copy of an old newspaper article which talked at length about Rawls Corporation—a privately owned company specializing in textiles. The owner, Nathaniel Rawls, was interviewed because Rawls Corporation had just gone public. It opened on the NYSE at fifty cents a share. In the first day, it raised to eighty-nine cents a share. Claire didn’t understand the significance of this information, but Tony told her to read it all—so she did.

  As she viewed the next item, she realized the significance. It was a magazine article from Newsweek, 1979. What caught her attention was the picture of a house—it looked very similar to Tony’s. Standing in front of the house was a family. The caption read, “Nathaniel Rawls, wife Sharron, son Samuel, daughter-in-law Amanda, and grandson Anton.” The boy looked to be twelve to fourteen years old. Even at that young age, she could see his dark eyes. The article expounded on the success of Rawls Corporation. A recent stock split confirmed what everyone was saying, this was an up-and-coming company. Nathaniel’s family enjoyed a lavish lifestyle brought on by his success. The Rawls family lived the American dream—they had it all.

  The 1982 Time magazine article only had a picture of Nathaniel and was entitled, “Continued Success.” It quoted a lot of important investors stating the attributes of Rawls Corporation, which was now expanding its ventures with continued success, run mainly by Nathaniel, but also by his son Samuel. There was a quote from Nathaniel about grooming his grandson to take over one day.

  The next was Newsweek 1986—it wasn’t just a story; it was the cover. In large letters, with a picture of a house of cards, it read “The House of Rawls Falls.” The story was short—considering it had been a cover story—the gist of it explained the plummet of Rawls Corporation stock due to allegations of wrongdoing. The magazine couldn’t say too much, due to an ongoing federal investigation; however, as investors pulled their money, the corporation was folding before their eyes.

  There was much more information in the following article, from Newsweek—dated 1987. There was a picture of Nathaniel Rawls wearing prison garb entitled “Nathaniel Rawls Convicted.” Based on evidence from a two-year undercover FBI investigation and testimony, Mr. Rawls was found guilty of multiple counts of insider trading, misappropriation of funds, price fixing, and securities fraud. The family’s assets were being sold at auction to help recoup investor loss. Distraught investors were quoted as saying, “We lost everything, and it is good to see the entire family lose everything.” The Rawls were living the high life—homes, vacations, and belongings—now they had nothing.

  A short newspaper clip dated 1989 indicated Nathanial Rawls—dead at sixty-eight years of age. Mr. Rawls died after only twenty-two months in a minimum-security facility. The cause of death was a massive heart attack.

  The buzzer buzzed. Claire didn’t want to stop reading. She thought she should grasp some revelation, but other than that Tony’s name had been Anton Rawls before Anthony Rawlings—she didn’t see it. She had to follow the rules, so she put the articles away and turned off her lights.

  Her journey resumed the following morning after breakfast. Copies of court documents from New York State vs. Nathaniel Rawls were the next items in the box. Though lengthy, after time, Claire realized a few key testimonies aided in the conviction of Mr. Rawls—first, from his son Samuel, who had turned state’s witness—second, from an undercover FBI agent embedded in the corporation for two years, and—lastly, a securities investigator. Accompanying these documents was a report stamped Top Secret. It gave the unreleased names of the strategic individuals: securities investigator was Jonathon Burke and the FBI Agent was Sherman Nichols—Claire’s grandfather.

  Though warm in her temperature controlled cell, Claire suddenly felt a shiver. The next discovery was a newspaper article also dated 1989—Samuel and Amanda Rawls found dead in their rented Santa Monica bungalow, bodies discovered by their twenty-three-year-old son. Based on the evidence from the scene, it appeared to be a case of murder/suicide. Claire thought back, Tony mentioned his parents’ death was an accident—that seems to be an all-encompassing word.

  NYU News, 1990—While completing their master’s degrees, Anthony Rawlings and Jonas Smithers file the necessary paperwork to begin their own corporation—Company Smithers Rawlings—CSR. The article said CSR was set to be an intricate piece of the Internet pie.

  New York Times article, 1994—Anthony Rawlings buys out his friend and partner Jonas Smithers for 4 million dollars. CSR was now Rawlings Industries. The New York Times predicted it was on its way to being an Internet giant.

  Newsweek, 1996—Rawlings Industries begins to diversify. Anthony Rawlings stated that he was determined to not have all his eggs in one basket. Recent diversifications have included entertainment and transportation.

  Time magazine, 2003—One of the men mentioned as a runner-up for Man of the Year—Anthony Rawlings. This designation came mainly because of his dedication to people—evidenced by Rawlings Industries’ recognition as one of the top ten philanthropic companies in the nation. Mr. Rawlings was quoted as saying, “I plan to spend my life and fortune looking for opportunities to amend my grandfather’s life. Every person is important.”

  Indianapolis Star and News, 2004—Obituary of Jordan and Shirley Nichols—Claire felt ill as she read the accompanying article with a different mind-set than that of a grieving child. It talked about the unfortunate accident which claimed their lives, about her father’s police service and full police honors as tribute, and her mother’s devotion to her family and teaching. The accident was believed to be caused by wet roads and newly fallen leaves. Photographs taken at the gravesite were clipped to the obituary. One was of John embracing Emily—John and Emily was handwritten on the back—and another of Claire sitting alone—Claire handwritten on the back. Claire immediately recognized the handwriting. Words came back to her, “Because I wasn’t able to support you when your parents died—you had to go through your parents’ death alone. Emily had John, but you didn’t have anyone.” With a sudden sickness Claire realized Tony was there and saw her grief first hand.

  Valparaiso University Newsletter, 2005—during the time Claire was a student—the picture showed Anthony holding a giant check for five-million dollars. His donation to the university made additional scholarships possible.

  Again, the buzzer buzzed. Although Claire had to wait to continue this journey, she was slowly understanding that her encounter with Anthony Rawlings in March of 2010 was predestined.

  The next items were more actual snapshots—pictures taken at John and Emily’s wedding—a few even zoomed in on Claire. She was wearing the ugly sea foam green, maid-of-honor dress. Emily and John looked so young and happy—2005 and Claire were written on the backsides in familiar handwriting. Was he there, too?

  Albany Post, 2006—Appointments to a local law firm. The second name listed was John Vandersol. The article discussed John both professionally and personally.

  Another 2006 article—Rawlings Industries Continues to Diversify—it discussed the continued success of any venture Anthony Rawlings embarked upon. Rawlings Industries’ diversification included the recent purchase of TTT-TV a television broadcasting network.

  Atlanta Daily Journal, 2009—TTT-TV acquired WKPZ. Although the acquisition resulted in multiple layoffs, Anthony Rawlings promised that as the economy improved, so would job opportunities. He stated that his dedication is to his employees. He
is worried about each individual who was out of work.

  Claire now saw—all of those people at WKPZ who were so nice to her—who helped her with her dream—all lost their jobs—because of her.

  People Magazine, August 2010—Claire knew it immediately; it was the article that almost cost her—her life. She didn’t need to read it, but she did—Questions Answered—The Mystery Woman in Anthony Rawlings’s Life Agrees to a One-on-One Interview. These articles were no longer revelations, mere confirmations.

  December 19, 2010—her wedding picture—It revealed a smiling her next to a smiling him. She recognized the picture, but the unfavorable article was new to her. It talked about how fantastic Anthony was and asked how such a smart businessman could be as gullible as to marry this woman with no prenuptial agreement?

  Vanity Fair, April 2011—Anthony’s and her smiling face on the cover. It hit Claire at that moment—the woman in that picture didn’t even look like her. She was beautiful, blonde, sophisticated, elegant, and way too thin. Not until now, had she realized the magnitude of the transformation. She placed a picture of her from Emily’s wedding next to the magazine cover. She didn’t change—she was changed. Why hadn’t she seen it before?

  November 2011—Copy of the printed newsreel Tony brought home—Tragic Accident Claims the Life of Young Gaming Phenomenon Simon Johnson.

  Albany Post, January 2012—Column listing arrests: John Vandersol, 32, charged with embezzlement and fraudulent client billing charges, arraignment pending.

  Iowa City News, January 2012—Headline—Anthony Rawlings Alive after Attempted Murder by New Wife. No wonder so many reporters were on the courthouse steps!

  Iowa City News, April 2012—Claire Nichols (formally Rawlings) avoids trial by pleading no contest to the attempted-murder charge—accompanied by more unfavorable articles.