Fiend (An Erotic BDSM Romance Novel) (Cravings Book 2)

by Rachael Orman

  He tilted his head and stared at me for a full minute before nodding as if he had the answer to some unvoiced question.

  “I wanted to know if you wanted back the stuff you’d left at my apartment.”

  I nearly gaped at his response, but I caught myself.

  “That’s it?” I’d thought he wanted to try to explain himself or try to get me to take him back or something, but he simply wanted to give me my things back?

  “Yes. What did you think it was?” He rubbed his thumb over his lower lip, drawing my eyes to them. I felt my heart clench. Not so long ago I would’ve been free to take those lips any time I wanted; now I could only watch them.

  “Nothing.” I stood and swallowed. “Well, if you have the time now, we can go get whatever was left behind.”

  “No. I’ll leave you here and retrieve it myself. You are no longer welcome in my place,” he said, standing and walking to the door. “Give me five minutes and you can be out of my life forever.”

  Before I could respond, he was out the front door and I was alone. I took my head in my hands and a sob slipped out unexpectedly. I had to hold it together for a few more minutes. I could do it. Wiping the tears away from my face, I stood and tried to make sure he wouldn’t be able to tell how much he was stomping on the shattered pieces of my heart. I realized then that some part of me had harbored the idea that we’d get back together, but this was the end.

  The outside door opened and I turned, thinking it would be John, but it was Mariah instead.

  “I forgot… Oh, it’s just you,” Mariah scoffed and strutted closer. Calling out, she said, “John?”

  “He stepped out for a minute.” I didn’t have it in me to say where.

  “Oh, well, then it’s just you and me. In case you haven’t figured it out yet, we’re together. We have been for months. John was trying to find a good time to tell you. I actually felt bad for you.” Mariah shrugged a delicate shoulder, but her face told me she didn’t feel bad at all.

  “Really? Interesting that I didn’t know this.” John stood at the door with anger vibrating off him in waves.

  “Oh, John!” Mariah spun around to look at him.

  “Please, do tell me why you are telling the woman I love that we are fucking when every day I have to fight my repulsion for you.” He stepped closer, letting the door swing closed.

  “Wait, what?” I looked between them, confused. My head spun as I studdered, “But… all the conversations, the lipstick, the condom.”

  “Condom?” John briefly glanced at me, but his eyes were burning through Mariah. “You better start talking.”

  “I was just trying to save you, sir. She isn’t good enough for you. Look at her. She’s not pretty enough, not submissive enough. You need someone who can give you everything you need. I wanted to get her out of the picture so I could show you how much I’ve learned since we broke up, how much we are meant to be together.” Mariah dropped to her knees and wobbled forward, reaching for his hand.

  “What fucking condom?” John barked, stepping out of reach.

  Mariah lowered her head, but didn’t say anything.

  “Answer me!” he shouted.

  “I… may have planted a condom in the trash for her to find,” Mariah whispered.

  “And the lipstick?”

  “I brushed my lips against you when I fixed your hair, sir.” She shrank into herself.

  “But the phone calls…” I interrupted, not understanding why someone would be so cruel.

  “No one was on the phone,” Mariah answered.

  “Get out now. I don’t ever want to see you again,” John growled as he stepped around her, giving her his back as his attention shifted to me. No longer was he the cold, impersonal man who’d been in his office.

  Mariah quietly left and John dropped the box he’d held under his arm, but I hadn’t noticed until it banged against the floor. He looked almost scared as he slowly moved closer to me.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, pained.

  “I tried. It never came out right and I didn’t know who to believe. She was so convincing.” I closed my eyes and took a breath. “And I don’t deserve you. I’m not a good sub. I’m not beautiful.”

  “Don’t.” He was pulling me into his arms and sighing. “Don’t put yourself down. I love the way you submit to me. I love the way you look. I love you and you are perfect the way you are.”

  My heart beat again. It came back to life feeling his strength surrounding me, his scent enveloping me, his words pulling all the broken pieces back together.

  Chapter 16

  John

  She was in my arms. I breathed her in. The world righted itself and stopped spinning out of control. I could survive anything as long as I had her in my life. I held her close for a long time. I couldn’t seem to make my arms release her.

  Finally she shifted and pulled back and I had to let go.

  “I missed this,” she breathed.

  “Me too. God, how I wished you’d talked to me and I hadn’t been so stubborn.” I cradled her cheek. I hadn’t thought I’d ever be free to touch her again. Anger at Mariah raged inside me but was nothing compared to the relief, the feeling that I was once again whole washed over me simply by knowing Alix was mine.

  I had been lucky enough to catch the end of their conversation and realization came crashing down upon me that Mariah had been pushing us apart so she could try to get me back. All the times Alix had mentioned she didn’t like Mariah and asked questions about her boyfriend suddenly made sense. I just hadn’t seen what she was trying to tell me.

  “Come on, let’s take your things back to my place. In fact, I think you should bring all of your stuff over. Live with me.” I watched her carefully as I voiced what I’d wanted to ask her for a long time.

  “I don’t know. I mean we just went through time apart, John. I think maybe we should take it slow.” She forced a smile and I could tell the separation had been as hard on her as it had for me.

  “Whatever you want. I’ll do anything for you,” I whispered, my heart in my throat. I’d said I loved her and she hadn’t answered. I wouldn’t push for her to return the words, I would wait until she was ready but I wasn’t going to let her go ever again.

  “Can we take this box back and then go to lunch?” She heaved the box up into her arms and I took it from her.

  “Absolutely.”

  We walked in silence to the hotel and the elevator was filled with tension as we rode up together. It seemed neither one of us wanted to be the first to speak. When I opened the door to my apartment, I couldn’t hold back any more.

  “Please, come in.”

  She followed me with a shy smile. I led her toward the bedroom where it would be easiest to unpack the box, since it was mostly clothes and toiletries. Once I set it on the foot of the bed, I turned and was surprised to find Alix right behind me.

  “Hi,” she rasped as her hands came up to rest on my chest.

  “Hi.” I automatically wrapped my arms around her, pulling her flush against me.

  “Are you okay with this?” She pushed to her toes, her lips almost to mine.

  “More than okay.”

  Leaning down, I closed the remaining distance to seal our mouths together. My body instantly sparked to life in a way it hadn’t since she’d left. My cock grew hard simply from the taste of her. The tip of her tongue slid over the seam of my lips before pressing inside.

  Alix moaned and leaned into me, her arms clasping my biceps as our tongues slid along each other. Her fingers twisted in my shirt, pulling me into her.

  “God, I’ve missed you,” she gasped, breaking the kiss.

  Gliding my hands down, I gripped her ass and thrust against her at the same time making sure it was clear how much I agreed with her.

  “I want you,” she breathed against my lips as our breaths mingled.

  “I need you.”

  Her hands yanked on either side of my shirt, ripping apart the buttons so
her hands could skim over my chest. A groan rumbled from my chest as she flicked her fingers over my distended nipples. Turning her, I pushed her back onto the bed and yanked the ugly pants from her legs. Skirts looked much better on her sexy body; however, when I realized there was only a tiny pair of panties on under them, I decided they weren’t so bad.

  I undid my cufflinks, letting them drop before shrugging out of my shirt and toeing off my shoes. Grabbing her hips, I pulled her to the edge of the bed and dropped to my knees. My face was pressed to her pussy before I’d fully hit the ground.

  As I flicked my tongue over her swollen bud, she cried out and tightened her thighs around my head while one hand gripped my hair as much as it could. It didn’t take much to have her screaming out her release, giving me plenty of her honey to lap up.

  While I could eat her all night, my aching cock demanded more. I needed to be in her, feel her pulling me deep and hugging the most sensitive part of my body with hers.

  Standing, I roughly slid her panties off before undoing my trousers and letting them fall. With one hand, I guided my cock to her entrance while supporting myself with the other. I wanted to tease her, make it good for her, but my need to reclaim what was mine was too strong to deny any longer.

  Just the head of my cock slid into her and I watched as she gasped, fisting the sheets. As I stared down at her, I realized I still hadn’t taken off her coat, so I slid the single button through the hole to reveal all she wore underneath was a bra. My hips surged into her at the surprise of my sexy little vixen.

  Pulling on the center of her bra, I forced her to sit up so I could shove the material from her shoulders. Her legs wrapped around me and she leaned back onto one hand while reaching for me with the other. Holding my neck, she yanked me down to meet her lips once more. The bruises and welts on my back screamed out in pain, but I needed her kiss more than anything at that moment.

  My hips moved on their own, sinking my cock deep into her as she moved with me. When she broke the kiss, her gaze locked on mine. I could see her arousal, her desire, in her eyes. Even though our lips had parted, she kept a tight grip on the back of my neck, her fingers digging into my flesh.

  I grabbed hold of her ponytail and yanked her head back while my other hand dipped between our bodies to tease her clit. She was moaning and panting, but her eyes stayed on mine as I moved hard and fast against her.

  My orgasm was gathering at the base of my spine, but I refused to give in. I would not come until she got off at least once more.

  Dropping my head, I dragged my teeth over her throat before sucking a chunk and biting down. Alix arched into me as every muscle clenched tightly and she flooded my cock with her release.

  She fell onto her back and I gripped her breast harshly as I pounded into her. My nails broke through her skin as my orgasm tore through me and I yelled out. I bathed her insides with my come as my hips slowed and I fought to get my breathing and heart back under control.

  “Damn, I really missed that,” Alix sighed as she lay limp on the bed. I lowered myself over her and kissed her lips softly.

  “Me too, Precious.”

  “John…” she started, her eyes clouded over. “There is something I want to talk to you about.”

  I started to pull from her, but she clamped her legs around me, keeping me in her body.

  “No, I want you right where you are. It’s…” She blew out a breath before meeting my eyes again. “I saw you at the club last night.”

  My back tensed and I jerked as if she’d slapped me.

  “What?” I wheezed the single word painfully.

  “I was trying to get over you and thought being with another Dom would help, but instead I got a front-row seat to your scene.”

  I stared at her, unable to figure out how she felt about what she’d seen, so I went the easier route.

  “You scened with another Dom?” It hurt, but I knew we weren’t together then so I had no right.

  “Yes. His name was Gabe.”

  “I’m going to kill that motherfucker.” I gritted my teeth and yanked back from her, but her legs held tight.

  “We didn’t have sex. It was just a spanking. I’m glad I did because he showed me what you were going through.” She winced. “That’s why I was coming to talk to you today.”

  “And?” I held my breath, but I understood why she’d been careful not to touch my back. I’d never told her I was bi and worried how she’d feel about it.

  “Are you okay? I mean, you were taking quite a beating.”

  Maybe she hadn’t seen everything.

  “I’m fine now that I have you back in my life.”

  She nodded as if she wasn’t wholly convinced. “And your desire for men? Were you going to tell me about that?”

  She had.

  “Alix, there is only one time I am ever with men. When I’m being a submissive, which isn’t often,” I admitted.

  “Do you want to talk about why you were there? Gabe said it had something to do with your past and a trigger of some kind.”

  I hated discussing such a hard topic when my cock was still in her. I wanted to pace. I wanted to put space between us, but she wasn’t allowing it.

  “One day I will tell you about it. Not now.” I sighed.

  “That’s what you always say,” she said, frowning.

  “I can’t. We can talk about anything else, but not that. Not today. Please, don’t push the topic.” I wanted to tell her. I wanted to vent my story, but I couldn’t handle any more intense emotions in one day.

  “I’m going to keep asking until you tell me,” she said finally releasing me. “For now I’ll drop it though.”

  “Thank you,” I whispered while closing my eyes.

  Withdrawing from her, I used my destroyed shirt to wipe between her legs. The urge to shove my fingers inside her to ensure some of me stayed in her flared through me, but I resisted. Once she was clean, I tossed the shirt aside and pulled my trousers back up. I’d never been so glad I’d skipped underwear, since it gave me one less thing to deal with when I’d been so desperate to fill her.

  I held up her panties in one hand and her trousers in the other. She smiled and took them before slipping them on and stepping into the heels I’d knocked off when I’d pulled them from her.

  “If you’re going without, then I will too.” She winked before shrugging her coat back on.

  “Does that mean since you’re going without a shirt, I should go without one as well?” I fought to not smile. I missed her saucy side and the easy conversations we had. We were back to normal, the tense air gone.

  “Mmm. I’d enjoy it, but we don’t want to cause a scene. You know, because women won’t care that they are married or with their man, they’ll drool over all…” She gestured to my chest. “That.”

  Shaking my head, I laughed and went to my closet for a new shirt. I pulled it on as I returned to her.

  “May I?” she asked, holding up my cufflinks in her palm.

  “If you wish.” I held out one arm for her. I’d never had someone dress me before, but I could get used to it. She slid the small clasp through the buttonholes before clamping it so it was secure. Switching hands, I watched her fingers as she fastened the other one. My cock was already filling from watching her doing something so caring for me.

  Once she was done, she tugged my shirt closed and started doing the buttons for me. She glanced up and caught me staring with a stupid smile on my face.

  “What?” She frowned.

  “Nothing. I like you taking care of me. No one has ever done it before.” I shrugged as she did the last button.

  “Well, I like taking care of you, so that works out good then.” She stepped back and I tucked the shirt into my trousers.

  “Ready?” I sat on the bed and pulled on my shoes before tying them.

  “Yep.”

  Placing my hand on her back, I showed her to the elevator. I looked over at her and she smiled at me. How quickly things had gone from th
e worst day of my life to the best day.

  I took her to my favorite restaurant and we talked about how things had been at work. I made sure to avoid anything that had to do with Mariah. Even the thought of her had me gritting my teeth, but I was determined not to let her ruin any time I had with Alix. I would handle her soon enough.

  After dinner, I knew I had to do something I’d been putting off, but it was the only way my Dom side would be satisfied after learning she’d seen me as a submissive. I couldn’t let her think of me that way. She was my submissive and I was her dominant.

  Parking in front of Scene, I turned to her and took her hand.

  “Precious, you are to go into our room and prepare yourself for me. Since you don’t have panties I expect you to be fully nude and waiting,” I told her and watched as arousal filled her eyes along with curiosity. I knew she wanted to take it slow, but I couldn’t deny my Dom. He was roaring for me to reassert my control over her. “Do you have a problem with that?”

  “No, sir,” she didn’t hesitate to answer me.

  “Go. Now.” I released her hand and let her open her own door for the first time. Watching as she crossed the parking lot and disappeared through the doors, I made sure she made it safely inside before following much more sedately. She didn’t know it, but I paid her dues for the club. If I was going to be asking her to meet me, then it was my burden to pay for her. I’d started paying before she’d even known who I was and planned to continue to do so.

  After giving her more than enough time to strip and kneel, I entered the room. I knew she wasn’t a huge fan of kneeling since it tended to hurt her knees, but I’d made sure to give her enough time to anticipate what was coming. In the apartment, we’d been rushed by need. My Dom didn’t care for rushing; he was all for dragging things out and taking complete control of her mind and body.

  “Stand, Precious, and undress me,” I ordered her as I stepped in front of her. She’d followed orders and was on her knees completely nude, thighs spread, palms resting on them. Untying my shoes, she removed them, followed by my socks. She stood and unclamped my cufflinks, bending to put them in one of my shoes before dragging her fingers down my buttons. Yanking my shirt out of my trousers, she started at the bottom and worked her way up unfastening the buttons. Instead of removing my shirt, she dropped her hands to my belt. Once she had it open, she released my pants and followed them down to my ankles to help me step out of them. Standing again, she slid her hands over my skin from my ankles, up my legs and chest to move down my arms. The shirt fell to the ground.