The Doctor's Unexpected Family

by Lilian Darcy

  Caroline heard the slightly timid, doubtful note in her voice, and quickly hid her face behind her coffee-mug. For some reason, she suddenly thought of the confident way Suzy Screenwriter had called him Dec, and knew she’d never be able to shorten his name that way herself. She didn’t like the shortening, but that wasn’t the point. Her own confidence was the subject at issue, and her apprehension about what lay ahead.

  How long would he stay here? He’d already stayed long enough that he would hurt her badly when he left. How strongly did London pull on him? Would she dare to try and pull in the opposite direction?

  ‘What do you have against London?’ Declan asked.

  He had a teasing look on his face, so she knew he’d missed the fear and uncertainty in her voice.

  ‘I like Irish accents better,’ she answered lightly, and was relieved to see him laugh and let it go.

  They had a picnic in Carrawirra National Park and a hike up one of the marked trails, leading to a lookout on the summit of one of the highest hills in the low range. Declan whistled at the view. The day was clear, with only a light breeze blowing, and if the 360-degree vista wasn’t postcard beautiful, it showed Australia’s vast, unpopulated distances to stunning effect.

  Crows cawed their descending, unmelodious scale, the air smelled of hot grass and no one had told the lizards that it was winter. They baked themselves on the warm, red-brown rocks regardless, and scuttled into crevices as soon as they were disturbed.

  All of this must seem so alien to Declan, Caroline knew, although he didn’t show it. She watched the way he climbed around the rocks in his nearly new hiking boots and khaki shorts, his bare legs and arms muscular and agile.

  ‘What are you looking for?’ she couldn’t help asking.

  ‘Spiders. More lizards. It’s interesting.’

  They ate their sandwich picnic in the shade of a eucalyptus tree, beside a small creek. Creekbed, to be more exact. The entire watercourse was almost dry, leaving just a few shrinking pools for the native animals to drink from.

  ‘Wholesale meat and wool prices must go up when there’s such a widespread drought,’ Declan said, lying back in the shade.

  ‘No, often they go down,’ Caroline answered. ‘Farmers eventually have to sell the stock they can’t water or feed, and that creates a glut. They’re vulnerable, because buyers know how desperate they are.’

  ‘Right, I wasn’t thinking.’

  ‘It’s new to you.’

  ‘Fascinating, though. I’d like to learn more. It doesn’t make sense to live somewhere so different and not come away richer for the experience.’

  I could ask if he’s made a decision on how long he’ll stay, Caroline thought. Or I could hide my head in the sand a bit longer.

  Hiding sounded good right now. Why spoil this?

  She watched as he rolled onto his side and reached out for her, touching her face with curled fingers that made a tantalising caress. ‘I suppose we should get out to the farm,’ he said. ‘It’s nearly three.’

  ‘That late? Then, yes, we should.’

  She scrambled to her feet at once and began to pack up the picnic things, and they were on their way within a few minutes. In front of the gracious old homestead at Comden Reach, the dogs greeted Caroline with a detailed description, in the form of excited barks, about what a great weekend the boys had had.

  And we’re exhausted! two panting canine tongues suggested.

  ‘Show us where everyone is,’ Caroline told them, but just then Chris came around the house, past the water tanks.

  ‘I’ve got the kettle on,’ he said. They exchanged a brief hug, and he looked at Caroline’s companion. ‘Hello, Declan.’ Like last time, his face telegraphed his uncertainty about the relationship. ‘And I’ve made raisin scones,’ he added quickly. ‘Only they’re more like rock cakes.’

  ‘Sandie doesn’t usually let you anywhere near the kitchen, Chris,’ Caroline said.

  He made a face as Caroline and Declan began following him round to the back veranda. ‘She’s feeling pretty crook today. Says it’s just a cold.’

  Caroline felt a twist of alarm inside her. ‘But you don’t think so?’

  ‘Oh, I think it’s a cold all right. I’m just worried about how she’s going to fight it off. She’s picked up even slower from this last cycle of treatment than from the first two, and I thought they knocked her out pretty thoroughly.’

  ‘Is she in bed?’

  ‘Only because I made her.’

  Caroline and Declan looked at each other. They knew what an aggressive form of treatment Sandie was undergoing, and it could play havoc with her white blood cell count. Cancer treatment killed all the growing cells in the body, including disease-fighting white blood cells. She would need to have her next treatment postponed.

  ‘Let me go and see her before we have tea,’ Caroline said. ‘Where are the boys?’

  ‘Already getting into the scones, I think. Your Josh can eat these days.’

  ‘He’s growing, that’s the trouble. I’ll be out in a minute. I’ll see if Sandie wants tea.’

  Sandie lay motionless in her darkened bedroom, and Caroline paused in the doorway, thinking she might be asleep. But then she spoke. ‘Come in, Caro. I’m awake. I heard the car.’ She had a wad of tissues pressed to her face.

  ‘Feeling rotten?’

  Thanks to her treatment, she’d lost her hair, as well as more weight, and with this new ailment she really didn’t look good.

  ‘Disgusting. Even before this cold showed up, nasty thing.’

  ‘Have you phoned your doctor?’

  ‘Not yet.’

  ‘He’s going to want to admit you, Sandie, get you on antibiotics and have your next cycle postponed.’

  ‘I don’t want to postpone the next cycle. I want to get this over. I’m useless while I’m like this. Two weeks of nausea, followed by an Oscar-winning performance as a limp rag. A few days when the boys don’t exhaust me within minutes, then it’s off to Canberra for the next treatment.’

  ‘They won’t let you have the next cycle on schedule if they don’t think you’re fit for it, Sandie. They don’t want your white blood cell count to drop too low, especially with a virus.’

  ‘And the worst thing is, it’s not as if I can celebrate a cure at the end of this.’

  ‘If you’re showing no sign of diseased cells…’

  ‘That’s just the first step. I have to stay that way.’

  ‘You will,’ Caroline said, coming close enough to squeeze her hand. ‘You’ll eat well, and rest, and get fresh air and sunshine, and we’ll all help. You have to keep your spirits up, because that’s part of it, too.’

  ‘Tell me something cheerful. I heard your Irish doctor’s voice. Second visit, all this way. You seemed so comfortable with each other last time, too. Tell me that’s good news. Did the woman in Sydney fizzle out?’

  ‘Um, yes, about seven weeks ago. I—He didn’t tell me until this week.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Because he wanted to give this new thing a better chance, I think. He was right.’ Could a voice blush? Caroline felt as if hers was. She could hear the rosy glow. Could Sandie? ‘I’m glad about it now,’ she went on, ‘even though for a while I didn’t know what was happening. He pulled right back from the friendship you saw between us when we were here. It was confusing.’

  ‘Lovely, Caroline. I’m so happy for you.’

  ‘Be happy,’ she agreed, ‘but don’t count on a future for it, Sandie.’ Her voice wasn’t quite steady. ‘He’s still planning on going back to London. He still has a job to return to there eighteen months from now.’

  ‘Rotten career-oriented doctors, rotten cancer, rotten chemotherapy. I want to count on a future!’

  ‘I know.’ Caroline’s voice fogged. ‘So do I.’ A future for Sandie, and a future for herself, with Declan. Warning Sandie against counting on that had only made her realise how much she wanted it. She’d jumped into this with both feet. ‘Shall
I bring you some tea?’

  ‘Yes, please. Go easy on the milk. My stomach doesn’t like much of it at the moment.’

  ‘We won’t stay long. We’ll get the boys out of here so you can rest.’

  ‘It’s been great having Josh. Can you send him more often on the weekends? Mattie and Sam are a lot easier to handle when he’s around.’

  ‘I could keep Mattie and Sam, myself, instead.’

  ‘No, because I miss them too much. It’s so horrible. Wanting them, and then feeling too ill to be with them when they’re here. Josh really helps. And it would be nice for you, too, wouldn’t it?’ she added gently.

  More private time with Declan? Yes, it would.

  ‘I’m glad my brother married you!’ Caroline squeezed Sandie’s hand again, and went to bring her tea. She had to pause for a few moments in the kitchen to make certain she had her emotions sufficiently under control to present a smiling face when she reached the veranda.

  CHAPTER TEN

  SANDIE spent the next three days in hospital in Glenfallon, and her next treatment cycle was postponed for two weeks. She received a blood transfusion to boost her white cell count, and was allowed home on Wednesday.

  Saying goodbye to Caroline and the boys, she and Chris both insisted they wanted Josh to come for another weekend in ten days’ time, as well as Mattie and Sam. When Caroline mentioned this to Declan the following Monday morning, during a quiet moment in the cyto techs’ office, he said at once, ‘Does that mean we can go away, just the two of us?’

  Yes, please!

  ‘To Sydney?’ she asked.

  ‘I’m sick of Sydney. Do you mind? Somewhere closer?’ He bent his head towards her, speaking in a murmur, and his nearness wrapped her in familiar heat. ‘I could wangle half of Friday afternoon off. Can we drive the boys out to the farm together, then head straight for Canberra or something?’

  ‘You’re offering to go all the way out to Comden Reach and back—again? With three hours to Canberra on top of that?’

  ‘Only because I like the company.’

  She melted, and said in a voice that almost shook, ‘Canberra would be lovely.’

  ‘Leave it to me. I’ll book a motel.’ He ran his fingers down her arm, and laced them briefly through hers. ‘All you have to do is pack, and put in your best dress, which I’ll look forward to the sight of very much.’

  He stepped even closer, and would have kissed her if they hadn’t heard Tom approaching at that moment. Caroline frankly wished her head of department a hundred miles away.

  ‘Good news,’ he said, pivoting through the open doorway, half a second after Declan had put himself at a respectable distance from her. ‘Jaina Sharma is definitely coming to town this week to talk to us about the job and have a look at the town. You’re available Friday, aren’t you, Declan? To stay late, if necessary. We’ll take her and her husband to dinner.’

  ‘Friday night?’ Declan asked. Reluctance showed in his voice, but Tom misread it, fortunately.

  ‘Yes, you’re right,’ he said. ‘Thursday night would be better, wouldn’t it? They’re arriving Thursday afternoon. And she can look over the hospital and the department on Friday morning. It probably won’t go late, but just in case…’

  ‘I’m available, Tom,’ Declan answered.

  He shot an apologetic look at Caroline, and she shrugged and nodded. By unspoken agreement, they hadn’t yet been open about their new relationship in the department. She didn’t mind. In fact, she felt safer, having it as a secret she could hug and hold, and the secrecy allowed her to live purely in the present for just a little longer.

  With the end of her cancer treatment to look forward to, Sandie hungered for the future. Not knowing what the future would bring, Caroline wanted her own life to stay right where it was.

  It didn’t, of course.

  That very night, plans threatened to go awry.

  Josh, Mattie and Sam all looked at their dinner of spaghetti without any interest, and announced that they didn’t feel well. They were up and awake, making emergency visits to the bathroom, for most of the night. Josh handled it manfully, but the younger boys needed help, and little Sam cried after every episode as Caroline attempted to clean him up. She got very little sleep and had a sinking feeling in her own stomach half an hour after breakfast.

  She had a miserable day, but at least the boys caught up on lost sleep, so she had some privacy and peace. Could they possibly go out to the farm if this virus was still hanging round? she wondered. Sandie’s immune system didn’t need any imported school bugs to challenge it.

  Declan phoned her at five in the afternoon, to ask, ‘How are you, sweetheart? It’s pretty lonely around this department without you.’

  ‘I’m better,’ she told him cautiously. ‘Haven’t vomited for two hours, and the boys have been feeling better since around dawn.’

  ‘Sounds like a twenty-four-hour thing.’

  ‘As a doctor, what’s your verdict about how long we’ll be infectious? I’m not taking the boys to Comden Reach if there’s any risk to Sandie.’

  ‘If you don’t have any symptoms tomorrow and Thursday, I wouldn’t worry.’

  She crossed her fingers, waited out the two days, and began to relax. Josh, Mattie and Sam had all bounced back to full health and energy after that one listless day on Tuesday, and she’d sent them back to school and child-care with no qualms on Wednesday morning. No phone calls came from the school’s front office, asking her to come and collect a sick boy, thank goodness.

  Sandie wouldn’t have reacted well to a quarantine, while for Caroline the weekend in Canberra loomed as bright as Christmas. She looked forward to it the way a child would, dwelling on it whenever her mind was free, seeing it painted in iridescent colours in her imagination. For selfish reasons, as well as generous ones, she’d have hated to cancel it.

  With the boys’ bags packed as well as her own, she picked them up from school at three on Friday, then drove to Declan’s, where they would swap to his car. ‘No insult intended towards your vehicle, Caroline,’ he’d said, when they’d made the arrangement, ‘but I’d rather spend the whole weekend in Canberra, not half of it waiting for road service on the Hume Highway.’

  ‘I haven’t had any trouble since that Friday in April.’

  ‘Which means you’re about due for some more.’

  ‘Irish superstitious nonsense!’

  ‘The theory works for my mother,’ he’d said, then added with a grin, ‘Occasionally.’

  She’d given an exaggerated sigh. ‘We’ll go in your car.’

  He was a little late arriving home. ‘It would have looked rude to leave any earlier. Dr Sharma had a lot of questions. She seems serious about the job. Tom’s overdoing his sales technique as usual.’

  They got to Comden Reach at five, and Caroline was happy to see that Sandie looked much better than she had the previous week. ‘I’m glad, after all, that they postponed the next cycle,’ she said. ‘I’ll be able to eat for a week or two now, and put some of the weight back on, I hope.’

  ‘You do feel too thin,’ Caroline agreed, after they’d hugged.

  ‘It’s not a slimming method I’d wish on anyone!’

  ‘You’re sure you want all three of these monsters?’

  ‘I can’t get enough of them,’ Sandie said. ‘Every minute seems precious. Your Joshie’s a good lad, Caro. You’re going to miss him next year.’

  ‘I’m already trying to save for air fares to go up for weekends whenever I can. I really respect Gail now for her attitude, and that’s a plus.’

  ‘Enjoy your weekend. Every second of it,’ Sandie added slyly. ‘Before dark and after.’

  Declan and Caroline didn’t reach Canberra until ten, having stopped on the way for a picnic supper of sandwiches and soup from a flask. Now that she was working part time, and would be for the next few months at least, Caroline had suggested the picnic to save money, and she was relieved when Declan seemed to enjoy it. He took things in his
stride, she’d found. He wasn’t pompous about his creature comforts, or averse to trying something new, and she liked that.

  They checked into their motel in the upmarket neighborhood of Manuka, then went out to supper at a café full of thin waiters and waitresses dressed in black, and groups of mostly twenty-somethings, talking earnestly about everything from politics to surfing. It was nice to be part of an urban crowd for a change.

  Then they went to bed, which was still new, still wonderful, still a little frightening. New and wonderful to feel Declan’s warm body spooned against her all night long, frightening to think of how much she’d already given to this. Her body, her honesty about what had and hadn’t happened in the past with Robert.

  Caroline knew that Declan could crush her heart between his hands without ever intending or wanting to. She’d given him that power when she’d fallen in love with him. She didn’t know how she’d ever take it back if he left.

  On Saturday, after a lazy breakfast, they toured the National Gallery and the War Memorial, and went up into the communications tower on Black Mountain, from which they could easily make out the swathes of burnt land left by the severe bushfires in the summer.

  ‘You didn’t pick a good year to see this country for the first time,’ Caroline told Declan, with what was almost an apology in her voice.

  She felt possessive about the landscape, protective about it. Every bit as bad as Tom, in fact, because it had become so important to her that Declan should be able to look at this place as a permanent home. She couldn’t laugh it off any more, as she and Declan had both laughed off Tom’s behaviour a few months ago.

  ‘More than five hundred suburban houses burned in the space of a few hours. Hard to imagine now,’ he said, looking out to the mountains in the west and not really answering her.

  ‘Glenfallon’s never been in much danger from fire, even in the worst conditions,’ she said. ‘The citrus groves and vines are kept too well watered with irrigation, and we don’t have pine or eucalypt forests close to town.’

  Oh, lord, I do sound exactly like Tom! she realised. Using every opportunity to sell, sell, sell.

  ‘Want to go back to the motel?’ Declan asked. ‘It’s only four, but I can think of plenty to do there before we go out to eat.’