Secret Dream: Delos Series, 1B1

by Lindsay McKenna

  He found it amazing that he was dreaming of a future when he used to be someone who never looked beyond the day he was living in. With Lia, he dreamed every day. Her smile had infused him with hope again after he’d lost it so long ago. He liked looking through her eyes to see life the way she saw it. She saw the world in kinder tints and shades. He used to see only danger and death. Now he saw far beyond those things, feeling how much she had broadened him in such a short amount of time.

  Sadness filtered through him because he wondered about his mother, Elizabeth. Had she fallen in love with his father? Thought he was the love of her life? And then sleeping with him, becoming pregnant by him, must have thrown their relationship as fifteen-year-olds into chaos. His mother had loved him; that he knew without question. He couldn’t conceive of turning on Lia as his father had turned on his mother.

  Leaning down, his nose nestled among her soft curls, Cav inhaled Lia’s special scent. Even now, he could smell their combined sex fragrance, which still enveloped them. The woman turned him on in every possible way, hardened him as she was doing right now even though she was in a deep slumber. Cav had no desire to awaken Lia. He knew she was still exhausted by the last months of her life, still climbing out of that attack on her in Costa Rica. He knew because some nights as they slept together in his condo, she would have flashbacks. The nightmares were powerful, and Cav was glad he was there to hold her after she jerked awake, screaming, from them.

  Maybe carrying a baby would be the best thing that could happen to her right now. Cav wasn’t sure, but he did know she was a natural mother, so damned maternal and loving, that being able to carry a child in her body would have to have an incredibly healing, positive effect upon her. He didn’t think that Lia would see being pregnant as a burden. Or a stress. Just the opposite. He nestled his face in her hair, inhaling her, absorbing her in slumber, a starving man whose soul had been so fractured, now healing simply because she loved him. And he loved her.

  He lay down, his arm slipping quietly beneath her neck, his hand protectively over her belly, and Cav closed his eyes, never happier. Never more content than he was in this moment. His last thought as he drifted off into darkness was that Lia’s love was healing him. And all he wanted now was to be able to love her as deeply as she loved him, and continue to help her bind her own wounds, and then blossom. Never had life been more precious to Cav than it was in that seminal, fluid moment that wrapped fiercely around his heart and wrapped around Lia. In one way, they had saved one another’s lives. The power of love amazed Cav. He’d had no idea of its potency, its depth or breadth, until Lia walked into his life.

  *

  Lia awoke slowly, feeling sated and fulfilled. She stretched, lifting her arms and extending her legs beneath the sheet on the bed where she lay. The bliss was still radiating deep within her womb and it made her smile, her heart wide open, filled with such joy and promise. She saw Cav sitting at the end of the bed, dressed, watching her with a tender look burning in his eyes. She gave him a sleepy smile of hello.

  “Hey … how long have you been sitting there?” she asked, her voice thick with drowsiness.

  “Not long,” he rasped, moving his hand to her foot, which nearly touched his hip. “How do you feel this morning? A little sore?”

  Rubbing her eyes, she mumbled, “No … I feel … wonderful, Cav. I feel so happy I can’t explain it.” She slowly sat up, absorbing his dark, shadowed features. The sun hadn’t risen yet, but grayish light peeked around the curtains of the window, just enough so she could see his strong, roughly hewn features.

  “I was worried that last night maybe that position caused you some discomfort.”

  “Oh,” she sighed, resting her hands in her lap as she crossed her legs beneath the covers. “No … it was … wow … something else.”

  “It’s an ancient position.”

  She studied him, his features somber but his hazel eyes glinting with love and concern for her. Feeling Cav’s unspoken worry, she said, “I felt … well … it was so animal-like, so primal.”

  “I didn’t scare you, did I?”

  Shaking her head, she whispered, “You have never scared me, Cav. I trust you with my life. And you saved me from being kidnapped. Why wouldn’t I trust you when we’re loving one another?”

  He gave a one-shouldered shrug. “I got into it a little too much,” he offered, giving her a look of apology. “It’s a position I really prefer because it brings something out in me I can’t explain. It feels natural and instinctive.”

  Her lips pursed and she gave him a playful glance. “Oh, it was all of that. I loved every moment of it, Cav. I didn’t know what to expect, but you were so good in holding me, guiding me, and then”—she dragged in a deep breath—“how you took me. It just did something wonderful inside me, as if my body recognized it and I became consumed by it.” She saw relief come to his half-closed eyes. “You didn’t hurt me. I loved it.” She reached out, sliding her hand down his hard curved thigh, the denim tickling the pads of her fingertips.

  “Good,” he breathed, lightening up. “I didn’t explain it very well. I should have before we started.”

  “Well,” she said wryly, “we were kind of caught up in the moment. I sprang it on you. To make a baby together? It doesn’t get more fundamental than how we felt last night, don’t you think?”

  “No, it was good. I was just concerned, that’s all, Lia.”

  “I’m such a greenhorn,” she said, holding his dark stare. “And I love learning from you.”

  “Over time we’ll do a lot of other experimenting with one another if you want. I never want to make you scared or uncomfortable. Loving you is the most right thing I’ve ever done in my life and I always want it to be good for you.”

  She stretched again, yawning. “Loving you last night surpassed anything we’ve done together so far, Cav. I felt as if I were in rapture. It’s the only thing I can think to describe it. When you took my nape, holding me like that, it did something incredibly powerful within me. I felt myself responding so deeply to everything you did to me that I still get quivers here.” She moved her hand lightly across her covered belly. “It was wonderful. You were wonderful.” She pushed the covers aside, getting to her hands and knees and moving to where he sat. His eyes lightened and she felt even more relief surrounding him. Because Cav had been beaten so much as a young child, she knew he was extraordinarily careful about hurting her.

  She crawled into his awaiting embrace, sitting across his lap, her arm coming around his back, resting her head against his shoulder, meeting his warming gaze. Relishing the strength of his arm curving comfortingly around her, he moved his other hand across her belly.

  “Do you feel pregnant?”

  She laughed and nuzzled his jaw, kissing his neck. “I feel happy. I’ve never been pregnant, so I don’t know.” She covered his hand with hers, noting how small and slender hers was against his sunburned, larger one. “If I don’t have my period in two weeks, I think that’s when we’ll know.”

  “Makes sense,” he agreed, smoothing his hand across her hip, cupping her cheek, feeling her move like the sinuous lioness she was to him, pressing her breasts against his black polo shirt. He liked to hear that low hum in her throat that told him she liked what he was doing to her. Cav allowed his long fingers to follow the curve of her cheek, brushing teasingly against her curls, feeling that she was already dampening with juices because she wanted him.

  A small cry came out of her throat as he stroked near her damp entrance. She asked for more of his exploration of her. Lia pressed her cheek against the column of his neck, gasping with delight, twisting, opening herself to his touch.

  “Hey,” he rasped, inhaling her sex scent as he kissed her temple, “do you want to play around? Or are you serious?” Because his erection was throbbing, tight against his jeans.

  Lia smiled sweetly as she lifted her head away. “I want to do that same position right now, Cav. I loved it. It made me feel so incredibly
good. Are you up to it?”

  He grinned. “Oh, baby, I’m always up for you …”

  *

  “They’re very much in love with one another,” Steve told his wife as they sat at the breakfast table. It was six a.m. and it was nearly time for him to get going to the beet fields. He gave his wife, who sat at his right elbow, a warm look. “Those two young ones kind of remind me of you and me from a long time ago.”

  Susan gave him a slight smile, spooning hot oats with brown sugar spread across them into her mouth. “Cav is utterly devoted to Lia. That’s all I care about.”

  His eyes sparkled with mirth. “Like I’ve always been devoted to you?” He saw her expression melt, felt his heart opening to that intimate look she would sometimes give him. This woman never failed to make him feel good as a man, as her partner in their life together.

  “Yes,” she whispered, suddenly emotional. She had shared her talk with Cav with her husband last night as they lay in bed together. “He’s got a lot of hard edges to him and I was afraid … well … afraid that it would in some way hurt Lia someday.”

  “He’s in love with her,” Steve murmured, giving his wife a tender look. “I’ll bet my monthly paycheck that our daughter has brought out all that goodness he didn’t know he had. The more he’s around her, those hard edges are going to dissolve, just like sugar dissolves in that hot coffee you’re drinking.”

  “You always see everything with such clarity, Steve. I waffle for days trying to get my head around what’s going on and you just cut through it to its essence.”

  “One of my strengths,” he admitted, cleaning the last of the oats out of his bowl and licking the spoon. “You eventually figure it out on your own, Susan.”

  “I know,” she muttered grudgingly, “but you just slice through all my confusion and emotions and call it what it is.”

  “Because I love you,” he said quietly, holding her unsure look, her worry over what she saw as her own weaknesses. In his eyes, they weren’t. “And you’re just like your daughter, honey. You’re an emotional being, sensitive and so very, very beautiful to me.”

  She gave him a look of gratitude. “Do you always have the right words when I need them?” Reaching over, she grazed his fingers, her love for him deep and always on tap.

  “I try,” he grunted, pushing the chair back, giving her a careless grin. “I’ve gotta get going. If Cav wants to come and join me, give him the other truck. He knows where we’re working.”

  “I feel guilty about making them sleep apart like that.”

  He chuckled and rinsed the bowl beneath the faucet. “Oh,” he murmured, “I think they’re probably making up for lost time.”

  She managed a nod and squelched her laughter. “You’re probably right.”

  He ambled over to the table, came around it, and kissed her hair, moving his callused fingers across her nape. “I’ll see you tonight for dinner.”

  Lifting her head, she kissed him, always cherishing the love they had for one another. Steve always made her heart beat faster, made her yearn to do more than just kiss him, even after thirty years of being with the man. She opened her eyes, drowning in his amused blue ones, feeling cherished. “I love you. Don’t do anything stupid out there today, okay?” Farming was dangerous sometimes, and she knew that they were finishing the first field of sugar beets, where some of the corners of sandy soil were not as stable as she wished they were. A tractor could suddenly slide sideways into one of the irrigation ditches if the driver wasn’t careful. She never wanted to see her life without her strong, quiet husband beside her.

  *

  “Is there any possibility that you can come to Alexandria for Christmas?” Lia asked her parents. They had settled in the living room after dinner with coconut cream pie and coffee for dessert. Her father was in his favorite brown leather chair and her mother was sitting in one of the overstuffed flowery chairs, her knitting needles in hand, making an afghan. Lia tried to quell her anxiety, her hand on Cav’s thigh, his arm around her waist.

  “What would we be coming for?” Steve asked, sipping his coffee.

  Lia smiled at Cav and then held her father’s gaze, barely able to contain her excitement. “I swore Cav to secrecy, but I can’t stand it. I’m ready to burst.” She gave her parents a loving look. “Cav has asked me to marry him, and I’ve agreed to it.” Lia saw her mother’s face fill with joy. Her father grinned widely. She glanced at Cav, who gave her a warm look.

  Susan set her needles aside and got up, going over and hugging Lia hard. And then she went to Cav and hugged him, too. “This—this is such wonderful news,” Susan said, tears coming to her eyes.

  Steve joined her. He put his arm around his wife and offered his hand to Cav. “Congratulations, son. I think Lia has real good taste.”

  “Thank you,” Cav managed to say, feeling the sincerity in Steve’s words, in his grip.

  Steve released his hand and turned, walking over to his daughter. Lia stood up and walked into his embrace. He gently held Lia and kissed the top of her head. “Congratulations,” he told her gruffly, releasing her and holding her at arm’s length. “You’ve chosen a fine man to be your husband.”

  “I think so too, Dad,” she whispered, tears in her eyes. “Cav is so much like you.”

  Steve smiled benignly. “Well, that’s a good thing. So? When’s the date that you two young ones want to get married?”

  Susan came over and slid her arm around Lia’s waist. She kissed her daughter’s cheek. She looked over at Cav. “Have you made up your mind about it yet?”

  “Ask Lia,” Cav said, grinning. These three people couldn’t have looked happier. He was glad Lia had decided to share the good news with her folks now, not later.

  “We’re going to announce our engagement at Christmastime,” Lia said, her voice rising with excitement. “Dilara and Robert Culver are going to host it over at their house in Alexandria, Virginia. All of their Turkish and Greek family will be there, too. Every year their family flies in for the holidays.” She looked pleadingly at her parents, who had their arms around her. “Mom? Do you and Dad think you could come? It would really mean a lot to us.”

  Susan looked to her husband. “We should be able to. Steve?”

  “Sure.” He smiled over at Lia, then explained to Cav, “We don’t often take off because of the farm, but I’m sure I can get some of our farm friends to babysit the place while we’re gone.” His voice lowered with feeling. “It isn’t every day your only daughter gets engaged to get married.”

  Relief sped through Lia. “I remember the last time you had to fly somewhere to see me, at Landstuhl medical center in Germany. This, I promise, will be a much happier occasion.”

  Cav stood up and walked over to the family. They released Lia so she could stand in his embrace instead. He could feel Lia’s tension and smoothed his hand down her back. “Dilara and Robert Culver treat their employees like they’re a natural part of their far-flung family,” he explained. “And Dilara runs Delos from their headquarters in Alexandria. She likes to celebrate happy events in people’s lives.” Giving Lia a warm look, he added, “She insisted on doing this for us.”

  Steve chuckled. “What? Did she think you two would run off to the justice of the peace otherwise?”

  Cav grinned. “Well,” he hedged, “this means a lot to Lia and this will be her day.”

  “I think it’s wonderful,” Susan sighed, giving her daughter a loving look. “Where would we stay?”

  “Oh, Dilara is arranging all of that, Mom. She’ll put you on her social email list and give you all the details. Best of all, as part of their wedding gift to us, she’s insisting on paying for first-class tickets, round-trip, for you and Dad to come and be with us.” Lia beamed. “I’ve just never met anyone as generous as Dilara and Robert. You’ll love them. They’re such good, hardworking people.”

  Steve smiled. “Sounds a lot like us: always working.”

  “So? What about the wedding date?” Susan
asked her.

  “March second.”

  Susan gave her a soft smile. “Have you talked about where you’re going to wed?”

  Lia gave Cav a warm look and turned, holding her mother’s gaze. “Well … we’d like to get married here, at our family’s church. I’m hoping Pastor Wickcomb will agree to marry us.” She saw her mother’s face crumple, tears suddenly in her eyes. Lia knew how much her parents would love to have them married here where she was born and had grown up. She saw her father smile and nod approvingly, giving his wife a loving look as he pulled her beneath his arm. Susan was wiping tears from the corners of her eyes with trembling fingers. Lia knew how important this was for her parents.

  “I’m sure that can be arranged,” Susan said quickly, rapture in her expression.

  “I thought I’d call the pastor tomorrow,” Lia said. “I want him to meet Cav. I’d love it if both of you could come with us.”

  “I think we can manage that,” Steve drawled, love shining in his eyes for his daughter.

  “Do you need some help picking out a wedding dress?” Susan asked, her voice unsteady as she picked up a tissue from a nearby box sitting on the lamp stand.

  Lia nodded. “Yes. Dilara wants to help and I thought you two might get together after the party at their house. She has a number of wedding shops that she’d like to take us to.”

  “I’d like that,” Susan said.

  “Cav? What part are you playin’ in this shindig?” Steve asked teasingly.

  “I’ll be paying for it,” he said, a grin coming to his mouth. Lia gave him a playful punch in the ribs and he laughed a little, giving her a warm look. “It’s Lia’s day. Whatever she wants, however she wants it, is all right with me.”

  “Man after my own heart,” Steve jested, smiling over at his wife.

  Susan snorted. “You men,” she muttered, shaking her head. “Don’t worry, Lia, I’m sure between the two of us and Dilara, we’ll get everything arranged. Will she and her husband be coming here for your wedding? Do you know?”