Dirty Little Secrets [Impulse 5] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting)

by Zara Chase

  “Yeah, I guess.” She sighed and then coughed from the effort it took her. “It’s a lot to take in, that’s all. You think you know someone, then you find this huge secret they’ve kept from you for their entire life.”

  “It’s kinda romantic, though, don’t you think?” Kai asked.

  Nicole did…and didn’t. “Romeo and Juliet, but instead of warring families we have incompatible species interfering with true lurve,” she said with a cynical twist of her lips. “There’s nothing romantic about that.”

  “It doesn’t always have to be that way,” Pascal said softly.

  “Well, Davina certainly appeared to think so. If she really loved my granddad and there was a way to get around the obstacles, she would have found it.”

  “Things aren’t always that cut and dried.”

  “The way I see it, Gramps was cute and she fell for him for a while. Then she realized he wasn’t in her league intellectually. I mean he left school with no qualifications and she was a co-ed—”

  “I don’t think you’re being fair,” Pascal said, sharing a concerned glance with Kai.

  “Gramps had no future, the shine wore off, and so she ditched him.”

  “And gave him a shed load of money to play with?” Kai studied her face. “Why would she do that if she didn’t love the guy?”

  Nicole shrugged. “I have no idea. Guilt, perhaps. Say, where are we going? This isn’t the way back to your place.”

  “The Cat’s Whiskers,” Pascal replied. “A little company will do you good right now. This is no time to be alone.”

  “You don’t need to worry about keeping me company, if that’s what you’re concerned about. I can get through this alone. Besides, I need to see if I can get a flight back home tomorrow.”

  The guys exchanged a protracted look. “What’s the rush? Don’t you like it here?”

  “Sure, what’s not to like, give or take a colony of felines, unbreathable air, the permanent threat of attack, and a woman whom I didn’t know existed pretending to be the love of my grandfather’s life?”

  Pascal ground his jaw. This revelation really had shaken her more than he’d realized and he didn’t know quite what to do about it. “Put like that, I guess you have a point.”

  “I know you’ll be pleased to see the end of me and my pathetic hang-ups. There’s no need to pretend.”

  “Life has sure knocked your self-confidence, babe,” Pascal replied. “But we can fix that, if you’ll let us.”

  “I…well, I—”

  “Honey, the last thing you are to us is a burden,” Kai said, leaning over from the front seat and shooting her a reassuring smile. “But in Impulse we support one another in times of emotional need.”

  “I’m not emotional, nor am I one of you.”

  Pascal glanced over his shoulder and drilled her with a look. “Sure about that? Your grandfather wanted you to come down here awful bad.”

  “He was delusional, living in the past.” She waved a hand as though it was all some big mistake. She really was in denial and he didn’t believe for one moment that she actually believed the words spilling from her mouth. “The drugs addled his brains.”

  “You blame Davina for bailing on him?” Kai asked.

  “No. Yes.” She shook her head. “It’s hard for me to understand. I liked her, but I think she’s altering history to suit the way things are now. If she really loved Gramps then she wouldn’t have let him go.”

  “Trust me,” Kai said. “She would have been miserable if she chose your grandfather over who she’s supposed to be.”

  “Davina told me her grandson has opted out of Impulse and he doesn’t seem miserable.”

  “It’s true that a lot of people do leave and make the best of it. But their shifter tendencies will always eat away at them and they’ll never feel complete.”

  “Join the club,” she muttered.

  “Here we are.” Pascal brought the cart to a halt. “Let’s get you inside where you’ll be able to breathe more easily.”

  Nicole walked between them into the almost empty bar. Chantal was there, so, too, was Layla—Mikael and Philo’s mate. The two ladies looked up and smiled at Nicole.

  “Thank goodness you know what these guys really are now,” Layla said, indicating Pascal and Kai with her eyes. “It makes life so much easier, not having to pretend.”

  “Rafe needs you upstairs before the council meeting starts,” Chantal said to Pascal. “Something to do with a young jaguar who’s done…well, I don’t know what he’s done precisely, but it seems to be a hanging offence.”

  “I doubt if it’s that bad,” Pascal said, laughing.

  “Perhaps he wants to live his life on his own terms,” Nicole suggested sweetly.

  “Well then, I guess we’d better remind him of a few facts of shifter life.”

  “We’ll look after Nicole for you,” Layla said.

  “Why do I feel I’m being set up here?” they heard Nicole ask as they made their way up the stairs.

  Kai chuckled. “Nothing gets past our mate-to-be, does it.”

  * * * *

  “Come and join us, Nicole,” Chantal said, indicating the empty chair next to hers. “We were just going to have some iced tea.”

  “Thanks, that would be good.”

  “So, what did you make of Davina?” Layla asked, stirring sweetener into her tea.

  Nicole bridled. “Does everyone know my business?”

  “I’m afraid so,” Chantal said with an apologetic smile. “That’s the downside of living in such a close-knit community.”

  “I don’t live here.”

  “For those of us that do, the benefits more than outweigh the disadvantages,” Layla said with an impish smile.

  “Yeah, you only have to think of…oh, here’s Talia and Aisha. How did it go, guys?”

  Aisha, who Nicole recalled was mated with…mated? Did she actually just think that word? Well, it wouldn’t happen again. Aisha’s partners were two alpha leopards and Talia was hooked up with the two jaguars in charge of security. At least, she thought that was right.

  “Don’t ask!” Aisha fell into the chair on Nicole’s opposite side and groaned. “I don’t think I’ll be able to move for a week.”

  “Talia teaches karate and Aisha decided to enroll in the beginner’s course,” Chantal explained. “Why I can’t imagine.”

  “So I can land those guys of mine on their asses when they piss me off,” Aisha replied cheerfully.

  “How did it go today, Nicole?” Talia asked, sending her a friendly smile.

  “It was interesting,” she said shortly.

  “Davina’s a lovely lady.” Chantal’s voice filled the awkward silence that followed Nicole’s curt reply. “It’s sad to think of the sacrifice she had to make just because of who she is.”

  “But not that unusual,” Layla added. “From what I’ve heard since I’ve been here, a lot of shifters have had to wrestle with similar problems.”

  If the ladies noticed Nicole’s monosyllabic responses they gave no sign. Instead they chatted about anything and everything, always trying to include her and explain who or what they were discussing. Nicole wasn’t comfortable being included. She’d never had close friendships. As a child all her time out of school was spent swimming, mixing with teammates who were also rivals but never friends. As she grew older, women tended to give her the cold shoulder because they felt threatened by her. Men just wanted to get inside her knickers.

  Nicole envied these ladies their closeness but didn’t know how to make herself a part of their circle, even though that was what they seemed to want. Keeping her thoughts and opinions to herself was too deeply ingrained for her to change her habits just like that. Being suspicious if anyone was nice to her formed part of her DNA.

  “Ah, here’s Rochelle,” Talia said, smiling as the pretty young woman Nicole remembered as the restaurateur joined the group.

  “Rochelle’s not human, like we are,” Aisha said, grinning.
“She’s a lynx and gets to play with the big boys when they go loping off to the park at night.”

  “Someone has to keep them in check,” Rochelle replied cheerfully, helping herself from the jug of iced tea. “You know how boys can be when they’re left to their own devices.”

  “They hadn’t better try it,” Layla said, spoiling her hard-ass act by grinning like she knew they wouldn’t dare.

  “Rochelle’s mated with my brother,” Chantal explained. “How is he today? I haven’t seen much of him lately.”

  “He’s busy doing the research on my new venture,” Rochelle replied. “I only let him out of his cave at mealtime.”

  “That might interest you, Nicole,” Layla said.

  “Oh really.” Nicole doubted it. She had nothing to offer in this place. “Why’s that?”

  “Everyone says nice things about my catering,” Rochelle replied.

  “And so they should. You’re a great chef,” Nicole said, meaning it.

  “Right, but my clientele is limited due to the atmosphere here. Visitors who do stay in Impulse stick mostly to their hotels because even driving over to us in a golf cart is too much for them.”

  Nicole suddenly realized that all these women seemed to be able to breathe the air without any problems. How could that be? Still, it wasn’t important enough to ask. It was probably just a case of getting acclimatized and Nicole would be long gone before her body had the time to adjust.

  “So Rochelle wants to start up a mail catering service,” Talia explained. “You know, frozen meals delivered to your door, stuff like that. All the benefits of home cooking without having to switch the cooker on.”

  “I’ve seen it done successfully,” Nicole replied. “Someone I know did it in London. They spent a ton on advertising and then had a big festival at which free samples and introductory money-off coupons were given out. It took off and as far as I know it’s still doing well. I think they added a premier customer wing in which they took personalized orders for dinner parties, or just from busy people who care about what they eat but don’t have time to cook it themselves.”

  “That’s a brilliant idea!” Rochelle smiled, possibly noticing that Nicole had just said more in the past couple of minutes than she had in the entire time she’d been in the Cat’s Whiskers. Speaking about her passion for food was about the only way she could overcome her awkwardness with strangers. “I might put a proposal together for Rafe’s consideration. We could have a day-long festival here. Put up a marquee with AC and bus people right up to the tent flap.”

  “People are always curious about Impulse, so I think we could use that to our advantage,” Aisha remarked.

  “You need to target the chamber of commerce, local businesses who don’t have in-house catering, and, of course, leaflet upmarket houses,” Nicole said.

  “I don’t suppose you’d help me get this off the ground?” Rochelle asked speculatively. “I can cook, but I know zilch about the business side of things. My mate is supposed to handle all that, but I’m not sure if he’s got a handle on this one. No offence, Chantal.”

  Chantal laughed. “I know my brother, so none taken.”

  Ah, so that was what they wanted from her, Nicole thought. It was too much to suppose that they were befriending her because they actually enjoyed her company.

  “I’d like to, but I won’t be here for much longer,” she said in a dispassionate voice.

  “Oh, but I thought…” Rochelle blushed. “Well, never mind what I thought. I’m probably getting ahead of myself. It wouldn’t be the first time.”

  Some of Rochelle’s wait staff appeared with delicious-smelling dishes of food. Nicole stood up.

  “You’re obviously settling in for lunch so I’ll leave you to it.”

  “No, stay!” said several voices at once.

  “The guys always have a council meeting on Tuesday mornings,” Chantal explained. “And so we get together here and have a meeting of our own.”

  “Just so we can complain about our mates,” Layla added, laughing. “It keeps them on their toes.”

  “Don’t they know you’re doing that?” Nicole asked. “I thought they had extrasensory…well, mind-reading powers, or something like that.”

  “They do, but they wouldn’t dare use them on us,” Chantal replied. “They respect our privacy and only get inside our heads if one of us is in danger.”

  “And you trust them to keep their word?”

  “Absolutely,” Layla said. “They realize how special they are and try to act as normally as possible, at least where we’re concerned.”

  “Normal for Rafe is lying across one of the crossbeams in our lofted ceiling with all four limbs dangling over the side,” Chantal said. “Like he was up a tree, enjoying the weather. He says he thinks better that way.”

  “Mikael likes to get naked—”

  “They all do that!” said several voices.

  Layla laughed. “Yes, but Mikael likes lying on a sheepskin rug and squirming on his back.”

  “Hey, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it,” Rochelle said, making them all—even Nicole—laugh.

  Food was placed in front of Nicole and she ate it without realizing she’d made the decision to stay. The conversation veered away from Rochelle’s catering scheme and once again Nicole took little part in it. It seemed Chantal was pregnant, a cause for great celebration since she was mated with the leaders of the colony. Nicole wondered if she knew which man was the father. She could hardly ask and no one appeared to think it was particularly important.

  “I can just imagine your two when the baby’s born,” Layla said, grinning. “They’ll look at its features and argue for days about whom it resembles.”

  Chantal groaned. “Don’t remind me.”

  Nicole glanced at her watch. Over an hour had elapsed since she arrived here. It seemed more like ten minutes and she didn’t want to think about how comfortable she felt. She was again considering leaving when all the alpha males appeared in a bunch, crowding the spacious bar with their toned bodies and excess of testosterone. She felt a pang when Rafe and Vilas both made eye contact with Chantal before they did anything else—as though making sure she was all right. Mikael and Philo did the same thing with Layla. Presumably the other mated alphas did the same, but Nicole looked away. She didn’t want to see. She felt a pang of regret that had no place in her heart. This place was too perfect, in spite of its imperfections, but she didn’t belong here.

  “Shall we go?” Kai asked, touching her shoulder. “Are you ready?”

  To leave this place? Yes, she was more than ready. She didn’t want to get sucked into a tight-knit community that felt more like an extended family. The family she’d always wanted but never had.

  It was time to go back to London and reality.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “Did you enjoy taking lunch with the girls?” Kai asked as they drove home. “Did it help make any sense of stuff?”

  “Help how? They all seem to know my business and think Davina walks on water. There wouldn’t have been any point in discussing it with them, even if I’d wanted to, because they wouldn’t come at it any more objectively than you guys do. Besides, us Brits don’t wash our dirty linen in public. It’s not our way.”

  “Aw, baby, bottling these things up never does any good.”

  “It’s better than having every Tom, Dick, and Harry scratching over your personal life and thinking they know what’s best for you.”

  “It’s not like that,” Pascal said. “They only want to help.”

  “And enjoy themselves vicariously?” Pascal figured she was being grouchy because she sensed the girls had genuinely wanted to help and she didn’t know how to handle friendliness. “That’s what comes of living in this goldfish bowl. They have nothing better to do than interfere.”

  “You’ve obviously never been here when the bears mount a raid,” Kai said.

  “I’ll take your word for that.”

  Pascal parked t
he golf cart and jumped from behind the wheel. “So you didn’t give the ladies a chance?”

  “It doesn’t matter.” She sighed as she walked into the house and threw her purse on the table. “I now know what my grandfather wanted me to know, much good will it do me. Gramps is dead so nothing can be changed and that’s an end to it. I really don’t get why he wanted me to come here.”

  “We’re gonna have to tackle her now,” Pascal pheromoned. “She’s hurting and confused and she’ll cut and run if we don’t.”

  “Not a good idea. She’s way too emotionally charged, ready to pick a fight just to give vent to her feelings. But I agree. We need to tell her while we still can. It’s that or lose her altogether.”

  “Sit down, darlin’,” Pascal said authoritatively. “We need to talk to you.”

  “I was going to take a shower. This climate makes me feel all hot and sticky. But first I need to confirm my flight home tomorrow.”

  “Later. This is important.”

  “So is my flight. It’ll just take a minute.”

  “Shit, she really is determined to leave us,” Kai pheromoned.

  “Then we’re just gonna have to be at our most persuasive, buddy.”

  “I hear you, lover. I hear you.”

  Nicole fired up her laptop and five minutes later shut it down again.

  “There, I’m on the evening flight out of Tampa tomorrow.” She sank down onto the sofa and finally made eye contact with them both. “Okay, what do you want to talk about?”

  Pascal remained standing. He paced to the window and glanced at the view without actually seeing it. Now the time had come to declare themselves to this lovely, spirited, intelligent, yet stubborn and psychologically damaged woman, he was suddenly full of self-doubt. Who in their right mind would agree to remain in a place like Impulse with a colony of feral cats under permanent threat of attack? The right humans, prepared to make the sacrifice, were rarer than tits on a bull. But still, if they didn’t try to persuade her, they’d spend the rest of their lives regretting it, just as her grandfather obviously had. For Pascal that simply wasn’t an option.