Deception and Chaos

by S. M. Soto

  The words are meant to sound certain, but they come off as a question, or a plea.

  God, I hope he feels this, too.

  “You don’t know anything,” he says dismissively. My patience snaps and I stalk toward him, rounding the large bed.

  “You’re a liar. A damn chicken-shit. Why won’t you just admit it, Creed?” I hiss under my breath, trying to keep quiet, lest Garrett or anyone else hear us arguing. Creed’s eyes narrow into thin slits at my words. He rises lithely from the bed, towering over me.

  “Go. To. Bed. Now. Sophia,” he growls out in a warning. I stand my ground, staring up at him with determination in my eyes.

  “Not until you admit it. You feel something for me. You care about me. Even if you don’t want to.”

  His nostrils flare in frustration and his plump lips thin. He takes an intimidating step forward, but I force myself not to move away from him.

  “I’m a killer. A fucking hitman for fucks sake, is that what you want in your life? A man who revels in the chaos? Who comes home with blood and flesh all over his clothes, guns hidden in the house?”

  Steel eyes that are brimming with fire search mine, digging into my emerald depths for an answer he already knows.

  I don’t know why I do it, Creed is nothing but trouble. He kills people for a living, he’s a mobster and a freaking hitman, but all of it doesn’t change how I feel about him, or what I see in him. I lean up onto my tiptoes, placing my mouth over his and a rush of heat slams into me. I move my lips over his tentatively. He’s tense at first. Like this isn’t what he wants, but slowly his body eases, and his warm lips flow over mine in soft caresses. His lips are so soft and plump, yet firm in their intent. The heat of his body burns any rational sense I had prior to this moment.

  I spin out of control under his mouth, surrendering to him completely. His hands glide down my back, following the slope and curve of my ass. They trail over my entire body igniting a deep inferno of emotions inside me. The normal herd of butterflies in my stomach have been replaced by G6 fighter jets, rumbling for takeoff all at once. The sensations shake me all the way down to my core.

  My body tingles in awareness and with each stroke of his lips against mine, I feel myself falling deeper and deeper into the man who has the potential to destroy me. I wantonly flick my tongue into his mouth, and suddenly, his hands tighten around my waist. His fingers dig deeply into my skin, and I moan helplessly into him; so lost in the kiss, and the feel of him around me.

  His mouth is drugging me, working in tandem with the lust snaking its way through my system. His hot tongue dipping into my mouth is like an electric jolt straight between my legs, all the force zapping straight to my clit.

  I can’t get enough of him.

  My fingertips tangle in his hair, sifting through the dark strands belonging to this ruggedly beautiful man. He growls something incoherently, then before I know it, I’m shoved onto my back, plopping on his bed with a bounce. Creed jerks himself away from me, his chest heaving violently, and his face contorted in anger. Without a word, he throws the bedroom door open, not even mindful of the sleeping people around us, and leaves.

  I struggle to catch my breath, especially after that kiss. My heart flutters in my chest as I tamp down the urgent need roaring inside of me to go after him. Tentatively, I place my fingers over my tingling lips, ghosting them across the reddened flesh. They feel deliciously swollen from the aggressiveness of his kiss. A smile slowly spreads across my face.

  I might’ve pushed too hard just now, but I couldn’t stop myself even if I tried. Trying to stay away from Creed is impossible. The need to be near him is stronger than the need to take my next breath. It’s all consuming. He’s all consuming. I don’t intend on staying away, especially after that kiss.

  I gather myself, silently sneaking out of his room back to mine. I rest my back against the closed door and smile again in the privacy of my room. I bite down on my bottom lip to keep from shrieking in joy like a complete loon.

  Climbing into bed, I wrap myself in the plush comforter. The warm snugness of the sheets sends a wave of fatigue over my body. I inhale a breath, and grin when I get a whiff of Creed and his intoxicating scent.

  I wake early in the morning—or at least, earlier than normal—due to ruckus down the hall. Groggily, I rub the sleep from my eyes, and shift my gaze around my bedroom. It’s not yet morning, the sun is still creeping over the horizon—barely rising. Much like I am. Padding into the bathroom, I give my face a quick wash, then brush my teeth before seeing what all the noise is about.

  The moment I step out of my room, the house is complete madness. The guys quickly scramble around the hall, in and out of their rooms retrieving black duffel bags. A tidal wave of emotion hits me as I get Déjà vu.

  They have a mission. They’re leaving.

  White hot panic explodes in my chest and the blood whooshes between my ears as my heart hammers so furiously, I’m worried it’ll explode at any second.

  With my heart ready to burst, I run to Garrett’s room, and bang on his door, hoping and praying that he won’t open it with a duffel bag slung over his shoulder. Finally, after what feels like forever, the door is yanked open, revealing a bleary-eyed Garrett.

  “You’re staying?” I ask, worry lining my voice. My brother’s fog of sleep clears, and his face visibly softens.

  “I’m staying, Soph,” he reassures, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. I breathe out a sigh of relief and sag into his touch. I couldn’t be happier that he’s staying here this time. At least I won’t have to worry about him every second of the day.

  “You scared me. Why didn’t you tell me the guys were leaving on an assignment soon?”

  Gar shrugs. “I just found out yesterday from Creed when he talked to the handler at Hawk Fire. We both planned on staying behind to handle a few private matters.”

  Understanding dawns on me. The mole.

  I nod my head feeling like a heavy-weight has been lifted off my chest. I close my eyes and inhale a deep calming breath.

  They’re both staying here, they’re safe. They’re both staying here, they’re safe. I repeat the mantra over and over until my blood pressure stabilizes.

  “Well, thanks for waking me. I’m gonna check on Creed, see if he needs my help with anything.”

  An idea forms in my head at his words.

  “Where is he? Maybe I can help so you can go back to sleep,” I offer, feigning innocence.

  “He’s in the back, packing supplies for tonight.”

  My brows drip into a frown. “What do you mean?”

  “He’s probably getting everything he needs for the assignment, early this morning he told me he’d go in my place.”

  My heart drops and my hand shoots out toward the wall for support. He’s leaving on the mission? No!

  “What do you mean? He can’t leave. You just said you two were staying!” The words fall from my lips in rapid fire as dread starts to set in.

  Garrett shrugs his shoulders. “He volunteered. I found out late last night.”

  “Where is he?” I suddenly yell and Garrett stares at me like I have two heads.

  “What the fuck is wrong with you, Soph?”

  I ignore the suspicious tone in his voice and whirl away from him. I stride down the hall, trying to figure out the quickest way to get to the supply room.

  “Hey! Don’t walk away from me Sophia, tell me what the fuck is going on?” Garrett growls trailing behind me.

  “Nothing!” I shout back at him over my shoulder.

  At some point, my brother stops following me in my quest to find Creed. I search nearly every place for him and each time I come up empty. My heart slices in pain each time I don’t find him.

  God, I hope I haven’t missed him.

  Worry settles heavy in my chest and stomach, like a knot of dread that only seems to grow with each passing second. Unshed tears burn the backs of my eyes as my nerves frazzle beneath my skin.

  What
feels like hours later, I finally find Creed back in his room, geared up, ready to leave any minute.

  “Stay. Please.” My voice wobbles as I try to hold back the tears threatening to fall.

  “No.”

  The finality in his tone is like a shot to the heart. The pang reverberates through my chest. He keeps his back to me, the muscles flexing as he rifles through his dresser drawer. I run a frantic hand through my hair, out of options.

  I need him safe. Please, I need him safe.

  “You’re running because I kissed you. That’s it, isn’t it?” I accuse feeling my anger rise. “You’re afraid of the way you’ve opened up to me. Admit it!”

  Creed freezes his movements, and ever so slowly turns to face me with a hard expression. We stare at each other, surrounded by thick silence and my pain. He slings his black duffel over his shoulder in response to my outburst.

  He’s leaving. He’s really leaving.

  My heart squeezes painfully at the coldness in his eyes reflected back at me. This isn’t Creed. This is Diavolo—the part of himself he hides behind when he thinks someone is getting too close.

  Creed is the man that opened up to me about his past, his mother, and the horrible things he’s done in his life. Diavolo is another man in himself. He’s the cold-hearted criminal that lives within the man I’m falling for. He’s like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. There’s redeeming qualities in both sides of the same man. My eyes sting with tears at the realization.

  I’m falling in love with him.

  Creed moves around me, taking extra care to stay out of reach, then, without a word, he’s gone. A lone tear trickles down my face, and a sense of foreboding takes over my body. I may not have to worry about Garrett being gone this time, but I have someone else to worry about now.

  I hastily wipe my tears when I hear footsteps approach. The boots thud and crunch against the grass with each heavy step. Feeling Garrett’s approach, I train my gaze on the rising sun and the clearing between the trees and shift on the bench beneath me.

  “Sophia.”

  At the tone of my brother’s voice, I lift my gaze to his.

  “Would you mind explaining what the hell all that was about?” Garrett asks, crossing his thick arms over his chest. His eyes are creased with worry and I can practically see all the questions formulating in his head. I blow out a sigh, averting my gaze.

  “I’m worried. About Creed. I didn’t want him to leave.”

  “He’ll live.” The words are clipped, revealing his frustration over the fact that I’m worried about Creed.

  If he only knew.

  Stubbornly, I shift my gaze back to his.

  “He saved my life Gar…is it so bad that I want him safe?”

  The tightness around his eyes smooths and he nods his head seeming to understand where I’m coming from.

  “He’ll be fine, Sophia. You have no idea how much he can handle.”

  Oh, I think I might. I can’t help but think.

  Garrett places his hand on my shoulder and squeezes.

  “C’mon let’s get you something to eat.”

  “You know I am capable of doing things myself around here,” I say drily, making him smile.

  “You are? I had no idea.”

  I roll my eyes and nudge him in the arm for being a jerk.

  The house is filled with that uncomfortable silence now that all the guys are gone again. Only this time, there’s no hope I’ll run into Creed, or share any private moments with him. There may even be a chance I won’t see him again. The thought alone is crippling. I may be in over my head with a man like Creed, but I know what I want. And more so, I know how he makes me feel. Losing nine months of your life changes you and your perspective on life. I no longer want the same things. I want him. He makes me feel safe in a world that’s filled with evil. The rough air around him is familiar and comforting to me. Creed is exactly what I need. I can’t help but feel like there was a reason he found me—saved me. Call it fate, call it life, whatever you want. He’s one of the only things holding me together through this mess. I won’t lose him. Not now. Not ever.

  THE VERY MINUTE I FIND out the guys are back, I fly down the stairs searching for Creed. He’s nowhere to be found. Large, brawny men are everywhere, but none of them are Creed. My heart pounds wildly in my chest, and the pit in my stomach is growing larger every second that passes without seeing him.

  “Where is he?” I ask around, and the guys stare at me like I’m crazy. “Where’s Creed? Where is he?” I start yelling frantically to the guys. Ricky and Jose back away with their hands raised, mumbling incoherently under their breaths.

  At the sound of my raised voice, Garrett storms into the room with a strange expression on his face. He makes a beeline toward me and grips my arm.

  “He’s upstairs getting patched up by Mera, there was a hiccup.”

  “A hiccup?”

  He nods his head tightly, his face pinched in a grimace. I stop breathing for a few seconds, until finally my brain processes the information, and I’m running up the stairs.

  “Wait!” Garrett shouts after me. I freeze and turn toward him begging him to be quick about whatever it is he has to say.

  “What aren’t you telling me, Sophia?”

  His face is a mixture of emotions, but I don’t have time to wait around and figure him out or answer him. I whirl away and fly up the stairs in search for Creed. I’m close to tears when I don’t find him or Mera in her room or his room. My chest squeezes in worry.

  Finally, I burst through the care room and find him seated on the bed without a shirt on. Mera is standing off to the side, next to a metal tray filled with medical equipment and bloody gauze pads. She leans in and finishes applying white gauze to a wound near his ribs when they both swing their heads toward me at my crazy, abrupt entrance. Creed’s eyes pierce mine, and his jaw clenches.

  Ten long days without those crystalline eyes on me was pure torture.

  I swallow thickly, taking a moment to catch my breath before stepping further into the room. Brushing loose strands of hair off my sweaty face, I tentatively step inside. I catch Mera smiling out of the corner of my eye.

  “I’ll be back later to clean your wound.” She pats him on the back, then slips out, quietly shutting the door behind her. The room is silent. So silent that my heavy breathing is the only sound echoing through the room.

  I stand there awkwardly, unsure of what to do or say. I want to be angry with him, so damn angry. But my mind can only process one thing at the moment: He’s been injured.

  “You’re hurt.”

  It’s not a question. It’s a statement, because it’s obvious. He doesn’t say anything, just stares at me intently from his perch on the hospital style bed.

  “You’re an asshole.”

  His brows shoot up into his hairline, and his lips twitch at my words. I take that as an invitation to perch next to him on the bed. His fresh, woodsy scent, the one I’ve missed so much these last ten days, wraps around me like a warm caress, sending heat from my head straight down to my toes.

  I run my fingers over the silvery scars running all over his body. There’s so many. Some are jagged and crooked, while others are straight and thin. The scars are an untold history, written in the planes of his formidable body. My fingertips sizzle as they wisp across his hot flesh. Of their own accord, they trace the intricate tattoo on his bicep. There’s so much detail in the tattoo, it’s frighteningly beautiful and chaotic. Just like the man sitting before me.

  Dark flames lick across his flesh, as a group of hands reach out from the darkened pit below, grasping at a pair of the most intricate angel wings. They’re so detailed and real, I wouldn’t be surprised if this is how angel wings really look. Below the pit and the hands are a pair of horns that can only belong to one entity.

  The same one he was poorly named after.

  I flick my gaze up to his, and my breath hitches when I realize he’s been watching me intently this entire time. My fac
e flashes red in embarrassment and I clear my throat, averting my gaze back to his body, and continue my path around his flesh.

  The fresh white gauze Mera just taped is already stained crimson. I search for any more wounds, easily spotting another above his brow. It’s a red and angry looking welt that will scar, but at least it’s no longer bleeding.

  “This happens a lot, doesn’t it?” I run my finger over every silver and puckered scar, reveling in the slight shiver I get out of him each time.

  “It comes with the job. This is who I am, Sophia.”

  I look up at him. I mean really look up at him and take in every feature of his face. The sharp slope of his jaw is dusted with scruff, his lips are full and plump. His nose and cheekbones are carved to perfection and his dark hair hangs haphazardly around his face in sexy disarray. One rogue strand falls helplessly across those eyes that I love. As I gaze at him, I can’t help but realize how wrong he is about himself. He’s so completely wrong. This isn’t him. We both know that.

  “No, it’s not. There is so much more to you than that, Creed. Why won’t you admit it?” I inch closer to him, unable to ignore the pull that’s always between us. The need to be close to him tugs at every fiber of my being.

  He stares at me with fire in his eyes. It laps at my core, and has my stomach doing acrobatics. When his lips suddenly part, my womb clenches painfully and I expel a harsh breath. His mouth crashes down on mine, and I let out a helpless whimper.

  God, I need him.

  Creed’s hands fly to my hips and dig into my flesh. A growl reverberates low in his throat, and his tongue sweeps into my mouth, dominating me. Warmth spreads through my body like wildfire, as the need to satiate this feeling overcomes me and all of a sudden, the rest of the world melts away and the only thing that matters is us. Climbing into Creed’s lap, our mouths and our bodies fuse together. We devour each other, never once coming up for air. Our kisses are hot, wet, and passionate—filled with a need that is unexplainable. I shift on his lap and hear his small hiss of pain that freezes my movements.