The Girl Who Always Wins (Soulless Book 13)
Page 10
“What…?”
After a quiet sigh, he turned his gaze to me. “I hired a new physician to join the team to replace you.”
“Replace me?”
“Because you’re taking my job.”
It was a job I’d wanted so much, and now it was totally meaningless.
“My decision has nothing to do with our relationship. You’re the best person for the job. I know you’ll fight for our patients, stand up when something doesn’t feel right, and you’ll be a director that your colleagues respect and admire.”
Stunned into silence, I just stood there.
I couldn’t believe this was really happening.
I would never see Atlas again. “What…what will you do?”
“Resume my full-time status at the lab. Dr. Hamilton intends to have me replace him in the next decade, so that’s where I should focus my time.”
He’d come into my life unexpectedly—and now he’d left just as abruptly.
“I can’t work with you either, Daisy. I harbor no ill feelings toward you. I just… I’ll never be able to really focus, not in months or years, never. My professionalism and duty to my patients are just not enough to combat this.”
I didn’t know what else to say.
Not a single thought came into my mind.
There was only pain…deep pain.
Grief.
I dropped my gaze because I couldn’t look at him anymore.
Couldn’t look at him look at me.
I turned around and walked out of his office, my heels tapping against the hardwood floor. Tears stained my cheeks, but as if they weren’t there, I headed to my office and took a seat at my desk.
When I looked out the glass doors, I saw everyone in the office staring at me.
Like they knew exactly what had happened.
11
Atlas
There was a stack of active applicants on file, so it was easy to find a qualified physician who wanted the job. The position might not have the most competitive pay, but it had a level of prestige you couldn’t find elsewhere. Our team was dedicated to helping people, so we were all salary-based, making the same regardless of our patients or our hours.
Once there was someone new in the office, it was time to take my leave.
Daisy and I hadn’t spoken since that final conversation last week.
We never interacted with each other.
The brief times I saw her, she looked as if she’d been hit by a train.
She looked exactly as I looked.
I was heartbroken, but I’d spent so much of the last couple years of my life being heartbroken that I handled it better. I was used to losing people. I was used to disappointment. A walk in the park, really.
I called a staff meeting, gathered everyone in the conference room, and made it official. “Dr. Huntington has been a great addition to the office. The workload has been lighter because we’ve had fewer patients, but that’s about to change.” I stood at the head of the table, leaning against the wall behind me.
Daisy sat there, her eyes down, her skin pale as milk. She always looked like that during our interactions, like her mind wasn’t in the room. She was elsewhere, in a land of quiet sorrow.
“Because I’ll be leaving the clinic. This is my last week.”
Almost everyone looked surprised—except a few people.
“I’ve decided to resume my full-time status with Hamilton Pharma. I’ve selected Dr. Hamilton to fill my position as the new director. I have no doubt that she’ll perform the job well, that she’ll run this clinic flawlessly.” I brought my hands together and started to clap. “Congratulations, Dr. Hamilton.”
Everyone clapped.
She looked up at the group, forcing a strained smile that didn’t match her heartbroken eyes at all. Even in front of her colleagues, she couldn’t put up a front. Two weeks after our breakup, she still couldn’t pretend to be okay. That was when I knew this was the right decision.
We couldn’t be in the same room ever again.
Dr. Hamilton walked into my lab and examined my work before he grabbed the data sheet attached to the clipboard. He flipped through it before he grabbed the vial of interest then examined it, holding it up to the light. Wordlessly, he put it down then took a seat, opening his notebook and making notes.
Whenever Dr. Hamilton was focused, he rarely said a word. Our research was progressing slowly but strongly, and since we had a lot on the line, he was even more intense. He didn’t want a mistake. He didn’t want a slipup.
Neither did I.
He finished what he was doing then closed the notebook. “We’ll start at the hospital at seven.”
“Alright.” The second stage of the trials was about to commence. We would have to do it a couple times before we could submit our work for review. There would be a lot of resistance because the medical industry didn’t necessarily want advancements, especially when they weren’t cheap. That was our biggest hurdle, lobbyists who cared about their bottom line more than the lives of people.
I could tell he didn’t know that Daisy and I had broken up.
He would definitely have said something.
That meant she was keeping to herself, spending all her time alone, and that made me feel like shit. She had a great family to lean on, and she didn’t use them. Me, on the other hand, I had no one. I was a bit envious.
“Dr. Hamilton, I wanted to ask you something.”
He was definitely in a different headspace because he didn’t appear annoyed that I referred to him by his title rather than his name. He lifted his chin and looked at me, having the same observant and intelligent gaze as his daughter.
That would always be hard…to look at his face and see her. “I wanted to ask if it would be alright if I returned to a full-time position. This research is groundbreaking, and it deserves all my focus.”
He studied me for a while, taking his time processing what I said. “The clinic is also groundbreaking. You don’t have to choose.”
“I’ve been stretched thin for a while now, and though my position at the clinic was gratifying, I’ve come to realize that this is how I want to spend my time. Not to mention what you told me, that you might want me to continue the company when you’re ready to take a step back. That means I need to learn as much as possible before that time comes because I want to run this company like you’re still here.”
He considered my words in silence, his eyes flicking away. “You’re welcome to resume your full-time status whenever you want. You don’t need my permission. If this is your decision, then I accept it. But only as long as you’re deciding this on your own, that you don’t feel pressured by me.”
“I don’t, Dr. Hamilton.”
“What will become of the clinic?”
“I’ve promoted Daisy to the position. She accepted.”
He gave a slow nod. “She’ll do a great job.”
“I know she will.” I believed she was more qualified for the position than I was, that Dylan should have granted it to her from the beginning. She was a selfless practitioner, caring about her patients more than herself. I’d never seen anyone that dedicated before.
He leaned back in his chair and got comfortable, like this had switched from professional to personal. “When are you moving in together?”
I held his gaze as my heart started to beat with the rhythm of a drum. I was tempted to lie, just to say something to get past the topic. Daisy hadn’t told her family because she clearly didn’t want to. I didn’t want to do it either. But I couldn’t lie to him, even though a part of me was worried that my relationship with him would be compromised. He was professional to a fault. When it came to his family, that might change. “Daisy and I split up.”
Silence.
His hard expression was still.
It took him a long time to process what I said, like this was really terrible news. “When?”
“Almost two weeks ago.”
Now he had a distinct rea
ction, his eyes widening in surprise. “Two weeks?”
I gave a nod.
He inhaled a deep breath and instantly looked flustered. He didn’t ask why. He didn’t ask anything.
“We just don’t want the same—”
“I have to go.” He pushed out of his chair, grabbed his notebook, and walked out.
12
Daisy
I was still in my old office.
But in a couple days, I would move to the director’s office in the rear.
The new physician on our team would take my space. Right now, she was working at a desk in the lobby. The clinic was small and we didn’t have a lot of room, and expansion was hard because of the high price tag of Manhattan real estate.
Atlas was there infrequently, spending less time in the office since he only had a few days before he was officially gone. He was probably focused on his research with my dad, and my dad didn’t find his increased time at the lab suspicious.
I hadn’t told my family yet.
Just didn’t want to talk about it.
A part of me wanted to fight for Atlas, but I recognized a lost cause. He’d made his decision and abandoned the position he loved because he was so set in his ways. Everything I had to say was already said. There was nothing I could do now.
I stared down at the paperwork in front of me, but the results meant nothing to me.
I pictured his face as he sat across from me at the bar, amused by my fry addiction. I pictured him underneath me on the bed at the cabin, the two of us quietly fucking each other’s brains out. Everything flashed by, happy memories that made me miserable.
I heard the door to my office open.
I looked up, expecting Anthony or Shelly, or maybe my assistant.
But I looked into eyes identical to mine in so many ways.
Identical in intensity. Identical in sorrow.
He knew.
He stopped in the doorway as he took a breath. Then he dropped his palm so the door would close behind him and came to my desk.
I wasn’t upset that Atlas told him.
It’d been weeks. Couldn’t keep it a secret much longer.
But I didn’t expect my dad to come down to my office in the middle of the day, not when he had work to do and so did I.
He stared at me for a few seconds, as if he didn’t know what to say.
I didn’t either.
“Your mom is in the middle of something and couldn’t get away.”
“It’s no big deal…”
He continued to watch me, his arms by his sides, wearing a black hoodie. “Let’s get some breakfast.”
I wanted to tell him to leave, that I didn’t need his pity, but all I was doing was sitting there and staring at paperwork like it was a TV screen. I shut the folder and got to my feet, grabbing my purse as I came around the desk.
His arm immediately encircled me, and he pulled me into his side, placing a kiss against my temple, his strong arm squeezing me tightly. When he pulled his lips away, he rubbed the arm that he held. “Where do you want to go, sweetheart?”
There was this high-end brunch spot that I liked. Avocado toast, breakfast bowls with quinoa and veggies, fat waffles made out of almond flour, and freshly squeezed orange juice. Sometimes I went there with my friends. The tables were white with flowers on every single surface, and the menus were pink. It wasn’t a place my dad would ever go, but he didn’t care.
We spent most of the time not talking at all.
I took my time picking what I wanted, and he immediately picked out the healthiest thing he could find on the menu.
Then we went back to not talking.
I drank my orange juice.
He stuck to water.
I sat with my arms on the table, my fingers spinning my earring in place.
“I’m sorry.”
My eyes flicked to his, seeing the sincerity in the look. “Yeah…me too.”
“It was the fertility issue?”
I nodded. “Should have listened to you.”
“You were trying to help, sweetheart. I’m surprised he doesn’t understand that.”
“He does, but…” I shrugged. “Said he didn’t want to be with someone who doesn’t accept him. I said that I did accept him, that I’m happy to adopt if it comes to that, but…that’s not how he saw it.”
“Maybe he will after some time.”
“I don’t think so.” He’d jumped ship quickly, severing our ties so we wouldn’t have to see each other again.
“He’ll realize that you’re irreplaceable, Daisy.”
“No. I fought for him the best I could.” I shook my head. “But he had his mind made up.”
Dad dropped his gaze.
I refused to cry in a public place, in front of my dad, but it was getting more challenging by the second.
“I think this is a touchy topic for him, and he responded the way everyone does to trauma—by running away. When he’s had some time to cool off, to brush it off, to live a mediocre life without you, he’ll have a change of heart.”
“He said I’ll leave him if he can’t have children…”
“But you won’t.”
“I know I won’t. But he…” I inhaled a breath to keep the tears back. “He’s afraid I will. He’s afraid that when the time comes, I’ll realize what I really want and dump him the way his cunt ex-wife did. He’s afraid that I don’t really want adopted children, that I’m holding on to false hope, and when that hope is extinguished…that’s it.”
“I understand his fear. He’s been through a lot.”
I watched other people eating their food, enjoying their mornings, while mine had been as bleak as a stormy sky. “But he should know I would never do that.”
“His wife promised to love him in sickness and in health…”
“Well, she was a bitch, and I’m not. Well, I’m not a bad bitch. I mean, I am a bad bitch. But the good kind.”
Dad wore a slight smile, amused rather than annoyed by my excessive use of the b-word. “Give him time.”
“I don’t know…don’t want to get my hopes up.”
“I’ll talk to him.”
“I really don’t think that’s a good idea. I don’t want you to drive him away…when you’re all he has.”
“We’re close, so I feel like I need to talk to him about it, regardless.”
“What did you say when he told you?”
He shook his head. “Nothing.”
“Nothing?” I asked incredulously. “He told you we broke up, and you just…walked out?”
“Yes.”
He didn’t even try to console him or make him feel better. He came straight to me instead. “Dad…”
“I care about him like a son, but…not the way I care about you.”
I stared down at my orange juice, touched by what he said. “It’s been really hard…not going to lie. It makes my breakup up with Mason look like a bump in the road and nothing more.”
“The more it hurts, the more you know it was real.”
“Why doesn’t he think that?”
“I’m sure he does, sweetheart.”
“I felt like he totally misinterpreted my intentions, but he wouldn’t listen to me.”
“I think you misinterpreted each other.”
I looked at my dad again.
“If he’d said, ‘The only children I ever want to have will be adopted,’ then you wouldn’t have even entertained this idea. Maybe if he’d made that clear, you wouldn’t have kicked the hornet’s nest.”
“I don’t know…maybe.”
The waitress came over and brought our food. He had the quinoa bowl with black bean puree and roasted vegetables and coconut rice, and I had a stack of waffles and everything else that would make my dress fit too snug.
I would normally tease my dad for that at brunch, but I kept my mouth shut this time.
Because it meant the world to me that he was there at all.
We sat on my couch in the livi
ng room and watched TV.
“Dad, you really don’t have to stay with me. I know you have a lot going on at the office.”
He sat beside me, one arm over the back of the couch. “Atlas can handle it.”
“No matter how good he is, he can’t do what you do.”
He crossed one ankle on the opposite knee. “You’d be surprised.”
An anxious knock sounded on the door.
“That’d be your mother.” Dad was off the couch and to the door in a couple seconds.
When the door was open, she ignored him and came straight for me. “I’m sorry, honey. I got here as fast as I could.” She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me close, cocooning me in her love.
“Mom, I’m fine…”
She rubbed my back, creating a bubble of warmth around us, a protective shield that couldn’t be penetrated by anything.
Dad silently let himself out.
She continued to hold me, continued to love me, continued to be everything that I needed.
The tears came, left my eyes, and I got the shakes. “Mama…”
It was early afternoon, but there were several bottles of wine uncorked, our lipstick stained the rims of our glasses, and we sat together on the couch with the TV on in the background, talking.
Mom sat with her legs crossed, her back straight and unsupported, maintaining the kind of posture that suggested she was still on the clock, when she was definitely off the clock, judging by the amount of wine she’d had.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if the Trinity Building is on fire because you’ve been here for an hour.”
She smiled. “Matt’s there. It’ll be fine.”
“Matt is your understudy.”
She rolled her eyes. “He’s perfectly capable. He’s just not as popular with the clients because he doesn’t wear a skirt.”
“With an ass that looks like a peach.”
“Daisy, stop.” She waved me off, but I knew she actually liked it when I said stuff like that.
My tears had been shed, my heart had been sliced like a block of cheese on a cutting board, and I felt a little better, just a bit dehydrated now. “Thanks for coming over.”