Jacob's Ladder: Gabe

by Katie Ashley

  A wicked gleam burned in Gabe’s eyes. “You would, huh? Like a ménage thing?”

  Groaning, I replied, “Um, no, not a ménage situation. I’m not into two dudes period, least of all two brothers.” I shuddered. “There’s some kinda incest there.”

  Gabe laughed. “I would agree with you on that one. There’s no way in hell I’m going to be doing the deed and have my nut sack touch Eli or his touch me.”

  Wrinkling my nose, I said, “Ew!”

  “Sorry, just have to call it like I see it. But, going back to your original statement, trust me, you would want to date Eli over me.”

  “And why is that?”

  “Once you met Eli, he’d be making you laugh. Women love a man who makes them laugh.”

  “You have a point there.”

  “I rest my case.” And dammit, I really hated that I’d just given her that option. Of course, she would choose Eli over me any day. Looks aren’t everything.

  “But you act like you’re some loser who lacks any redeeming personality. After getting to know you more last night, I know that isn’t the case at all.”

  Gabe grinned. “Thank you. Now before you continue your campaign to build up my failing self-esteem, I’m going to need more of Kennedy’s scones.”

  I laughed. “Okay. We can take a scone break.”

  After Gabe rose out of his chair, he asked, “Would you like anything from the kitchen?”

  It was quite a change being waited on by a man, least of all a man who was used to having people wait on him. “I appreciate it, but no, I’m stuffed from all the French toast.”

  “There are two more orders in there.”

  I gasped. “Seriously?” Before Gabe could respond, I dove into the Rafferty’s bag. “Oh my God, there’s more.”

  “I thought you might enjoy having some the rest of the week.”

  Ha, the week? They won’t last twenty-four hours. “I will.” I grinned at him. “If I don’t reheat it today.”

  “Whatever you want to do. I’ll be right back.”

  “And I’ll be right here.” Because, God help me, I couldn’t pull myself away.

  Although I knew it was probably past time for Rae to go to work, I didn’t say anything; I was enjoying her company too much. After I picked up another scone, I grabbed the coffee pot from the kitchen and went back outside.

  When I got to the table, Rae was smiling down at her phone. “Good news?”

  She glanced up at me. “Just Linc letting me know he got to school all right, and that he got a 100 on the vocab test we studied for last night.”

  “Hmm, I’m thinking Linc is pretty spoiled to already have a phone before he’s ten years old.”

  “You sound like my dad,” Rae mused as she took the coffee pot from me and poured it into the carafe. “I just like to always be able to get in touch with him. I figure it’s worth the money for my piece of mind.”

  “And now you sound like my sister, except she has special go-phones for everyone who takes care of the twins. That way she doesn’t have to worry about not getting in touch with them.”

  “Yep. That’s a mother for you.” She grinned. “We’re crazy as hell, but we’re lovable too.”

  “I agree with that.”

  “Speaking of Linc, I can’t thank you enough for humoring him last night with all his questions about being a professional musician.”

  “You don’t need to thank me. I really enjoyed hanging out with him.”

  Rae’s brows creased. “You did?”

  “It was nice talking to someone who seemed so genuinely interested. Most of the time when people ask me about the business, they’re either being polite or they have an angle.”

  “Oh Linc’s certainly interested, much more than I’d prefer.”

  “Because his dad was a musician?”

  Jumping in her seat, Rae’s knife and fork clattered to the floor. “How do you know that?”

  Oh shit. Once again, I’d forgotten the information that had been given to me through Linc. In this case, I was going to use that fact to my advantage. After all, Rae knew Linc and I had had some alone time the previous night. “Linc told me.”

  “Oh,” she murmured. With a rueful smile, she added, “It’s at this moment that I wish Kennedy and Ellie had thought of mimosas.”

  “I’m sorry. We can change the subject if you’d like.”

  Rae gave an emphatic shake of her head. “No, it’s okay. I mean, it’s not like Linc’s father was something truly shameful like a serial killer—although to me, being a dead-beat dad ranks pretty high up there with people who are shameful.”

  “Linc said he hasn’t seen his dad since he was a baby.”

  “That’s right. Although Ryan pretty much bailed on our relationship when I got pregnant, I held out hope that he would at least step up and be a father to Linc. I should have realized he was too self-absorbed and selfish to be a parent.”

  “I know Linc hasn’t ever talked to his father, but what about you? Do you talk to Ryan?”

  Rae’s lip curled in disgust. “He’s never even bothered to pick up the phone. His parents tried to get him to call a few times, showed him pictures I gave them of Linc, but he still never called. They moved to Tennessee a few years ago, and they haven’t seen Linc since.”

  Damn. Just when I thought the situation couldn’t be worse, it was. Rae had really gone through some shit with Ryan and his family. “Sounds like he comes from a pretty shitty family.”

  “They’re good people, really, just enablers. They keep thinking he’s going to make it big on the music scene and pay them back all the money they’ve loaned him over the years.”

  “I take it Ryan isn’t that successful?”

  “He’s a wannabe. From some of my friends who have been to see him, he mainly plays in dives in and around Nashville.” She ran her finger over a crease in the tablecloth. “I’ve spent most of Linc’s life fearing that some of Ryan’s DNA would somehow manage to outweigh how I raised him. I’ve tried to head any of that off by keeping him away from music.”

  Fucking hell. It was one thing to hear Linc’s side of the story on why his mother didn’t want him to have a guitar; it was quite another to hear Rae’s side. Maybe it was the palpable fear in her voice when she spoke that drove home the seriousness of the situation. Clearing my throat, I asked, “What do you mean you’ve kept him away from music?”

  “Well, for starters, I put Linc in soccer and tee-ball when he could barely walk because I wanted to foster a love of sports in him.”

  Although I already knew the answer to the question, I still asked, “And it worked?”

  “For a while. I even coached his soccer team—it’s the reason I gave up arena football. Our schedules were overlapping.” She shook her head. “But then he came home one day in second grade with one of those annoying as hell recorders. I almost lost my shit.”

  Trying to ease some of the tension in the air, I laughed. “Yeah, Eli and I tortured our parents with those back in the day.”

  “It wasn’t just the irritating noise that got to me, it was that he wanted to play an instrument so much. All of a sudden this intense love for music had blossomed within him. All he could talk about was notes and beats.”

  “I’m going to take a wild guess and say Linc’s love of music didn’t die out after his class moved on from the recorder.”

  “No, it didn’t. In fact, it got worse. He became hell-bent on learning the guitar. He begged me for one last Christmas.”

  “But you said no.”

  She nodded. “Well, I said Santa said he wasn’t old enough. Then he started pestering me to do chores around the house and the shop to earn the money to buy it himself, but I just can’t let him have a guitar.”

  Going out on a limb, I asked, “Would it really be so bad to give the kid a guitar?”

  Rae narrowed her eyes at me. “To me, yes. It’s a crapshoot when it comes to genetics. Although he hasn’t exhibited much of Ryan’s tendencies s
o far, I’m determined not to let a guitar be the gateway drug to losing him.”

  Well, fuck me. Rae was in full mama bear mode about this. There was no way in hell I could possibly win this argument. “So you’ve basically forbidden music?”

  With a groan, she shook her head. “God, it sounds horrible when you say it like that. It makes me feel like the preacher in Footloose.”

  I chuckled. “I’d hardly say you were that extreme.” Leaning forward, I added, “You do let him listen to music, don’t you?”

  She huffed out an indignant breath. “Of course I do. I even let him get Guitar Hero for Christmas two years ago.”

  “Aren’t you Saint Rae?” I replied teasingly.

  “For me, that was huge.”

  “I get that, but maybe you could consider it as baby steps working up to getting Linc a real guitar.”

  “It might’ve been a consolation prize, but it’s not a starting point.”

  “Playing devil’s advocate here, it can be very beneficial for kids to be involved with music. It’s been proven to help their focus in school and improve grades.”

  “While all that might be true, I just can’t take the chance.” At what must’ve been my skeptical look, she asked, “Don’t you see? In my life, everything negative has come from involvement with a musician. My mother ran off with one, and I got knocked up and abandoned by one.” Tears pooled in her eyes. In an agonized voice, she said, “I don’t want to lose my son.”

  There was nothing that could have prepared me for Rae losing her shit in front of me. Gone was the tough-as-nails sassy-pants. The woman before me was stripped to the bone and as vulnerable as I could ever imagine. It was both oddly beautiful and frightening.

  As for me, I froze—like, I became a perfectly sculptured statue. I wasn’t one of those men who couldn’t handle female emotions. I was actually known among our backup singers and female road crew for being a shoulder to cry on. The fact that I was a good listener made me very accustomed to seeing tears.

  It was the fact that they were Rae’s tears that floored me. Rae was one of those women who I imagined was made of steel. She would never be caught blubbering into her popcorn during a sad movie. She was the kind of woman who made fun of the women who did that.

  More than anything in that moment, Rae needed comforting. While she would never verbally ask, I could read it in her eyes. I slid my chair around the table to where it bumped against her. Since I wasn’t sure how she would feel about me putting my arms around her, I reached out for her hand instead. “There is no way in hell you’re going to lose Linc.”

  Swiping the tears from her cheeks, she countered, “You don’t know that.”

  She certainly had me there. I didn’t know how I could possibly argue with that, so I switched tactics. “You’re right, I don’t, but here’s something I do know: not all musicians are bad. They’re not all home-wreckers or dead-beat fathers. The ones I know and surround myself with are devoted to their wives and children. They’re not only hardworking, they also give freely of their time to charities and helping others. I know that because I see it firsthand.”

  “Really?”

  I nodded. “Here’s something else I know: Linc is a fucking amazing kid. Trust me, I’m not usually a kid person, but he won me over the first day I met him. There’s no way a kid that amazing is going to turn into a shit.”

  When Rae smiled at me through her tears, I exhaled a relieved breath. Although she always looked beautiful when she smiled, she looked fucking gorgeous right then.

  “Thank you. It means a lot to hear you say that.”

  “I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it. I don’t believe in bullshitting people.”

  She smiled at me once again. “I know you don’t.” After squeezing my hand, she said, “I really do appreciate everything you said.”

  “Does that mean you’ll give some more thought to Linc having a guitar?”

  Her expression darkened a little. “I wish I could say yes, but no, I don’t think so. There’s no way I can ever see myself changing my mind.”

  Great. I was so utterly and completely fucked. When Rae found out about what I’d done with Linc and the guitar, she would kill me—she would annihilate me. “While it’s understandable for you to feel the way that you do, I hope you can understand it’s not a love of music that makes someone terrible—it’s who they are as a person. Maybe I can prove that to you, and then maybe you’ll reconsider your stance—you know, for Linc’s sake.” And mine.

  “I guess we’ll just have to see.” We sat there for a few moments, her hand in mine, our gazes locked on each other. I had to admit, it was really nice. It reminded me of the stolen moments I’d seen between Jake and Abby or AJ and Mia. There was an ease and a peace with Rae that I’d never expected I’d feel, and it felt amazing.

  I could have stayed like that with her for the rest of the day, but all too soon, Rae shook her head like she was shaking herself out of a dream. Then she pulled her hand away. “I don’t even want to look at my phone to see what time it is. I’m surprised Dad or one of the guys hasn’t called me.”

  “Yeah, you better get to work. I’m sorry for keeping you so long.”

  “It’s okay. I really enjoyed it.”

  “Me too.” Gazing around the table, I said, “Can I help you clean up?”

  Rae shook her head. “We’ll leave it for Linc to do as part of his chores.”

  “And does he get compensated for these chores?”

  Wagging a finger at me, Rae replied, “Don’t think I don’t know where you’re going with that, and no, I’m not giving money to a guitar fund.”

  I held up my hands. “I was just asking.”

  She gave me a knowing look. “Uh-huh.” As we started back into the house, she glanced back at me over her shoulder. “When did you want to see me again?” Widening her eyes, she quickly said, “I mean, do you think you need to see me again? You know, for your writing, not like for a date or something because that is so not what we’re doing.”

  She was damn cute being so flustered. Of course, if I told her that, she’d probably punch me. Rae wasn’t the kind of woman who wanted to be cute.

  “Like I said before, I’ll take as much of your time as you’ll give me.” That was the truth. The more I got to know her, the more I wanted to spend time with her.

  “Since you’re new in town, I guess the hospitable thing for me to do would be to invite you to dinner with us. Tuesdays we eat with my dad and stepmom.”

  “Are you sure they won’t mind you bringing me along?”

  “Of course not. Stella always cooks enough for a small army.”

  “Then I would love to come.”

  “We usually eat around 6:30, so you could pick me and Linc up around 6:15.”

  I cocked my brows at her. “You mean you actually want me to pick you up?”

  “Why is that surprising?”

  “I just figured you were a little too independent to allow a man to pick you up.”

  Rae laughed. “Maybe I’m making an exception for you.”

  “Ah, I like it. I’ll see you then.”

  “Bye, Gabe.”

  I waved. “Bye.”

  As I walked back to the Jeep, I marveled at just how fucked I was. I was fucked in the fact that I was starting to feel way more than I should for Rae, but I was even more fucked in the fact that she was going to kill me for promising Linc a guitar.

  My mind spun with solutions to the quagmire I currently found myself in. The easiest solution would be to just back out of my deal with Linc, tell him that after careful consideration, I now sided with his mother and didn’t think he should have one. Of course, he would probably retaliate by telling Rae I stiffed him on a guitar, which would in turn piss her off.

  Oh yeah, I was thoroughly fucked. My tirade was interrupted by my phone ringing. It was Eli.

  “Hey man, are you alive?” he questioned.

  “Yes, I am.”

  “Are yo
u just saying that because the Deliverance people who kidnapped you are forcing you to say that? Cough once into the phone if you’re not okay.”

  Rolling my eyes, I laughed in spite of myself. “I have not been abducted by any Deliverance people. I am here in Hayesville of my own volition.”

  “Yes, it’s your volition that’s questionable. I mean, you said yourself they don’t even have a Starbucks. What could you possibly still be doing there?”

  “Actually, I’m here writing.”

  Eli sucked in a breath. “Holy shit. You are?”

  When I’d called him the day before, I hadn’t told him anything about Rae or songwriting. Since everything had still been up in the air with her, I’d just told him I was just staying in Hayesville to get away. “Yeah, man. I’ve gotten two songs done already.”

  “I’m so fucking proud of you.”

  “Thanks. I’m not gonna lie, it sure feels good to be putting words on paper. They’re good words, too, and you know I wouldn’t just say that.”

  “I sure do. You are your own worst critic. When were you planning on sharing them with me and Abs?”

  “Are you still at Jake and Abby’s?”

  “No. I came back to Atlanta the day you left.”

  “As soon as I get back to the hotel, I’ll Google Hangout with you guys and play what I have.” At the familiar tingle running up my spine, I said, “Strike that. I think I’m feeling something new coming on.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Yeah. I’m not too surprised considering I was just with—” I abruptly cut myself off. For reasons I didn’t understand, I didn’t feel ready to tell Eli about Rae.

  “You were just with who?”

  “Nobody. Forget it.”

  “Look, if you’ve fallen in love with some hillbilly woman named Earlene, it’s okay. You don’t have to be ashamed.”

  I laughed. “Considering I’ve only been gone for forty-eight hours, I’m not quite sure how I could have fallen in love with a hillbilly.”

  “You never know—they move fast.”

  “How the hell would you know? Past experience?”

  “Just an observation.”

  “Whatever.” A knock came on the Jeep’s window, causing my phone to fly out of my hand and onto the passenger seat. When I glanced over, Rae was grinning at me. After I rolled down the window, I said, “Hey.”