Her Last Cowboy Christmas: Christian Cowboy Romance (Last Chance Ranch Romance Book 6)
Page 10
She prayed for that exact knowledge, but no answer that she could understand came. One look at the paperwork on her desk told her she wouldn’t be working there that day. She was too keyed up, and she switched out her sandals for a pair of running shoes she kept in the back room for when she had to walk around the ranch.
Barely remembering to grab her cellphone, she headed outside, away from the walls keeping her thoughts and feelings captive. The sun shone overhead, a clear testament that summer would arrive in California sooner rather than later.
Amber loved springtime on the ranch, and she walked slowly, letting her feet take her wherever they wanted to go. She passed the pasture with sheep in them, little babies sticking close to their mothers. The horses had been put out today too, and they shared a pasture with llamas and potbellied pigs.
She loved this ranch. How could she leave it? She had friends here—real friends—that she loved and cared about.
Something told her if she didn’t take this promotion, she probably wouldn’t get another opportunity for a while. If ever.
She looked at her phone as if buzzed, more out of habit than a direct instruction from her brain. Lance had asked, How was the meeting this morning?
Of course he would ask. He paid attention to her, and knew her, and cared about her. Amber didn’t know how to answer, so she just slipped her phone into her skirt pocket. She remembered the overwhelming feeling of love from church yesterday, but she couldn’t grasp it today. With every step she took, she wondered what she should do.
Eventually, she found herself entering the gate to the Canine Club, seeking out Lance. He’d help her work through every option and make the best decision possible.
She had to ask a few volunteers where she might find him, and she finally heard he was working in enclosure eight, the one furthest from the gate. The dogs that weren’t ready to be with other animals or meet people lived back here, through another gate that had to be locked at all times.
Amber stood at the gate and waited, because she didn’t have a key to get through. She didn’t want one, as some vicious barking filled the air. A few moments later, Lance’s beautiful bass voice lifted into the air, and Amber felt those pieces of her heart flying toward him.
He finally came out of the enclosure building and saw her. “Hey,” he said, surprise in his voice. “What are you doing here?”
“I need to talk to you,” she said, her insides quaking with nervous energy.
“All right.” He pulled on the door handle to make sure the enclosure was locked, and then he came down the dirt path to the gate. He fitted in the key and started to unlock it.
Amber’s impatience grabbed her by the throat, threatening to squeeze the words from her mouth. “Jewel offered me a promotion,” she said, her voice just a tiny bit froggy. “It’s in Denver.”
Lance froze, his eyes meeting hers.
He was so handsome, and so much the cowboy she’d dreamt about having in her life. And suddenly, the chainlink fence between them felt like miles of impenetrable distance.
Chapter 15
“Denver?” Lance repeated, so many alarms sounding in his mind he could barely think.
“Denver,” she said. “Not until January, probably.”
He finished unlocking the gate and stepped through it, sensing she needed someone to hold her and tell her everything would be okay. He gathered her into his arms, and she fit there so perfectly. She clung to him, her shoulders shaking as she started to cry.
“Shh,” he said, though he was still working through some of the initial shock. “It’s okay. Don’t cry, sweetheart. It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine,” she said into his chest. “You’re not going to leave Last Chance Ranch.”
He couldn’t argue with that, and he had no idea what to say. She quieted quickly and stepped back, wiping underneath her eyes. “Sorry,” she said, sniffling. “I’m fine. I just—don’t know what to do.”
“Did they give you a choice?” he asked.
She nodded. “Yeah.”
“So you don’t have to go.”
“It’s a huge opportunity for me,” she said.
He nodded, because she was right. “Of course it is.”
“What would you do if you were me?”
Oh, he wasn’t going there. The thought of Amber not working on this ranch sent daggers right through Lance’s muscles. All of them. “I don’t know,” he said.
“Lance.” She clutched one of his hands with both of hers.
Out here in the wilds of the Canine Club, Lance felt isolated. He felt like he could say things he might not say anywhere else, because no one would overhear them. Then he could pretend he’d never said them, and everything would go on as normal.
“Amber,” he said calmly though his pulse was rioting. “I’ve only been in love one other time, but I think I remember what it feels like.” He smiled at her, hoping she wouldn’t freak out and run away. Run to Denver.
“And I’m in love with you, or pretty dang close. I don’t want you to go to Denver.”
Love shone in her eyes too, and Amber wound her hands around to the back of his neck and kissed him. “I don’t want to go to Denver either.”
“Then don’t go,” he whispered, claiming her mouth again. He wanted her to stay right there in his arms. Move into his cabin with him. She didn’t have to work if she didn’t want to.
Amber sighed as she pulled away and tucked herself right into Lance’s chest. “Okay, I’m not going to accept the promotion.”
“Okay,” he said, though a twinge of unrest pinged through him. He didn’t want to be the one to steal an amazing opportunity from her, and he prayed that all would work out for her—for them—so they could stay together on this ranch.
Lance seemed to work non-stop as spring continued to bloom around the ranch. He’d accelerated the training with the dogs, trying to get several more road-ready for the cross-country team. Their adoptions had really picked up since that program had started, and Lance simply needed more dogs available for adoption.
Not only that, but Cache was insisting the Last Chance Cowboys play at his wedding. Apparently Karla wanted the band, and Karla was getting everything Karla wanted for the wedding.
Because of that, the band practices had intensified. Lance didn’t mind, because it got him out of his own and away from the dogs, both good things in his opinion.
He didn’t like being idle. Too much time on his hands, and he’d start to think of how he’d practically told Amber he loved her. He couldn’t believe he’d said that, but even more shocking was that she hadn’t run away.
She hadn’t said it back either.
It’s fine, he told himself as he walked down the street from his cabin to the one in the corner. His mother would be moving in soon, and while Hudson had originally lived in this cabin, no one had inhabited it for a while.
Lance had cleared everything out of it, because his mother was bringing her own furniture. It would be a miracle if it all fit, so the normal furnishings had to be moved out. Scarlett had told him to just put them in a cabin that wasn’t being used, and he’d loaded them all into the one next door, where Carson used to live.
Tonight, he was going to fix the back door and make sure all the lightbulbs worked. Amber had been stopping by on her way off the ranch in the evenings, and if he worked in this cabin, she just kept him company.
She hadn’t said anything else about the promotion, and he wondered if she’d told Jewel yet that she wouldn’t be taking it.
Maddie barked and settled into a growl, but Lance hardly glanced at her. “You live on a ranch,” he told her. Sometimes the little dog got all worked up about nothing, and sometimes her high-pitched yips startled him.
Ribbon lifted his head and gave Lance a look like, Are you going to check on that? No? Okay, I’ll go back to sleep. He laid his head back down, a soft snuffle coming from his throat. Lance smiled at the dogs and went back to reaching as high as he could to remove the
lightbulb from the can light in the ceiling.
A moment later, the cabin door opened, and Maddie started barking like a felon had entered.
“It’s just me, you silly thing.” Amber crouched down and let the little dog jump at her, her tail wagging. She giggled and patted Maddie while Ribbon heaved himself to his feet and went to greet Amber too.
At least he was silent about it.
“Hey,” Lance said over his shoulder.
“How are things going in here?” she asked.
“Great.” He finally got the bulb out. “Did those curtains come in?”
“Yeah,” she said, moving toward him. “I’m going to get them hung before your mother moves in.”
“Thanks.” He took her easily into his arms, tucking her close to him and surveying the cabin. “Just a few more days.”
“I’ll bring up groceries on Friday too,” she said. “Then she won’t have to worry about that over the weekend.”
“Mm.” Lance pressed his lips to her temple and tried to imagine his mother living here. “I hope this is a good thing.”
“You’re still worried about it?”
“A little,” he admitted. “What if she hates it here?”
“I don’t see how that’s possible,” Amber said. “And Karla cooks a lot, so she won’t even have to do much. There’s no yard care. Hardly anything.”
“Exactly,” he said. “What is she going to do all day?”
“She can volunteer,” Amber said. “We always need people in places around the ranch.”
“She likes cats,” he mused.
“There you go.” Amber wrapped her arms around his waist and sighed.
“Did you talk to Jewel?” he asked.
Her grip tightened and then she stepped away from him. “I haven’t, no.”
Lance frowned, trying to figure her out. “Why not?”
“I don’t know.”
Lance hated that answer. He’d noticed that Amber said it a lot, though. Maybe she really didn’t know. “Well, you don’t want the job, right?” It had been almost two weeks since her meeting with Jewel. Why wouldn’t she just tell her boss she didn’t want the job?
Doubt gathered in the back of his throat, making swallowing difficult. He moved away from her, putting his back to her so she wouldn’t be able to see the emotions on his face. He didn’t want to see hers either.
“No, I don’t want the job. I’m just….”
“Afraid to let it go?” Lance flipped a switch, and all the lights in the kitchen came on except for the one he’d removed. He started unwrapping a new lightbulb.
“I guess,” Amber said. “This is going to sound so stupid to you.”
Lance simply worked on screwing in the lightbulb with his fingertips, listening.
“In the past few years, I haven’t dated anyone as long as I’ve been dating you.”
His fingers slipped, and he grunted as he tried to steady the lightbulb. “Really? It’s been three months.”
“You know it’s true.” She sighed and walked back toward the dogs, who’d flopped near the front door. She peered out the window overlooking the porch. “So I’m just…I don’t know what. My friends said maybe I shouldn’t pass up the job, because we might break up.”
Lance gave up trying to get the lightbulb in. “What? You want to break up?”
“I don’t, no,” she said, her voice barely meeting his ears from all the way across the cabin.
“But just in case,” he said, a measure of bitterness coating his voice. He left the kitchen and joined her at the window. “Amber.”
She didn’t look at him, and frustration lit him up. “Amber,” he said again, this time putting his hand on the side of her face and gently leading her to look at him. “Do you think we can’t make it?”
Her big brown eyes didn’t waver. Didn’t fill with tears. “I don’t know, Lance. I’ve never…had a relationship like this, and I just don’t know.”
“Well, what does your heart say?”
“That I think too much.”
Lance smiled, glad when Amber’s lips curved up softly too. “You do think too much, sweetheart.” He looked out the window too. “January is a long way off. I suppose no one knows what will happen by then.”
He knew what he wanted to have happen. But he also knew better than most that what he wanted and what reality was didn’t always match up. If they did, he’d have asked Amber out and had this relationship two years ago.
At the same time, he felt like Amber was keeping all of her options open—including the door she’d walk through to leave Last Chance Ranch. And him.
Just in case, he thought.
In case of what? he asked himself. In case she gets bored with you, came to mind. Or she finds someone else who excites her more.
Lance knew he wasn’t terribly exciting. He also wasn’t going to leave town and call her on his way to break up. He had no idea what she wanted from him, and he suspected she didn’t even know what she wanted.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“For what?” he asked.
“For not knowing.”
“Can’t know the future,” he said, but he did know how he felt, and he wanted Amber in his life for good. Permanently. Always.
But she was obviously nowhere near ready to hear that, and he’d practically said it already. You will not say it again, he told himself.
“Want to take me to dinner when you’re done here?” she asked.
“Sure,” he said brightly, hoping he could paste on a happy face while he spent time with the woman he loved. “I shouldn’t be too long.”
Amber kissed him, and Lance felt the emotion behind the action. She liked him. Problem was, she just didn’t know how much or how long it would last.
Chapter 16
Edith handed Amber a plate with the words, “I can’t believe you’re still with him. He must be The One.”
Amber rolled her eyes. She hadn’t spent a ton of time with her friends in town since the New Year—since breaking up with Dwayne and starting a relationship with Lance. She worked a lot, and spent most of her free time with Lance, but with his mother moving in the following morning, he’d gone to stay with her for the night so he could load as much as possible into the truck tonight.
His family would be coming to help tomorrow, and Amber was already nervous about seeing them again.
“I like him,” she said.
“And yet you didn’t tell Jewel no to the new job.”
“She hasn’t even asked again,” Amber said. “It’s fine. You and Katrina made it sound like I’d be stupid to reject the job so soon.”
“I’m just saying,” Edith said as she scooped a piece of pizza onto her plate. “You don’t normally date men this long.”
“Lance isn’t like other men.” As soon as Amber said the words, they rang with truth. Right through her whole soul. Like the experience she’d had in church a few weeks ago, she just knew the truth of them.
She knew God loved her, and she knew Lance wasn’t like other men.
Tell Jewel you don’t want the job.
The thought moved through her mind slowly as she bit into her supreme pizza. The woman she was now held onto things “just in case.”
The woman she wanted to be made decisions and stuck to them. She didn’t live in fear of the future, or of her mother being upset with her, or her sister achieving something she hadn’t yet.
“Oh, I didn’t tell you about Chaz.”
“You sure didn’t,” Amber said, letting herself get distracted by her friend’s first date disaster. She laughed and shook her head in all the right places. She asked Edith what she was going to do about him.
“I mean, I can’t have every meal at the grocery store,” Edith said, lifting her eyebrows. “Right? I mean, he didn’t even want to take me to a restaurant. We literally ate lunch from the sample tables.”
“He doesn’t sound like The One for you.”
“Yeah, he’s not.” She sh
rugged, because her dating adventures were as varied as Amber’s. “He was fun to talk to on the app, though. I can’t believe you never tried it.”
“Never had to, I guess.”
“Yeah, you’ve got hot cowboys knocking on your door every other day.” Edith gave her a knowing look, and Amber just giggled.
“There are a lot of men up at the ranch,” she said. “Come volunteer. Several single cowboys still.”
“I think I’m going to take a dating break, actually,” Edith said, surprising Amber. In the two years Amber had lived on the cute street with the tall trees, Edith had been the only one to date as much as Amber.
They’d become fast friends, and they debriefed with one another after all first dates, no matter what time it was.
“A dating break?”
“Yeah, like you were supposed to in January.” Edith cocked those eyebrows again, but Amber couldn’t apologize.
“He brought me doughnuts,” she said as if that explained everything.
“And you’ve liked him forever.”
“Not forever,” Amber said. She and Lance did have some flirting history, and she suddenly thought that she’d liked him for a lot longer than three months. More like nine months, and that catapulted him above anyone she’d ever dated.
The next morning, before she got in her car and drove up to the ranch to help Lance’s mother move in, she texted Jewel.
I’m going to have to pass on the job in Denver. It just isn’t the right time for me. I hope you understand, and thank you for thinking of me.
She read and re-read the words, just to make sure they were all spelled right and that they sounded professional.
With a deep breath holding in her lungs, she sent the message. As she let her breath out slowly, a sense of absolute contentment moved through her. This was the person she wanted to be. One who went after the man she wanted instead of waiting for him to come to her with a box of doughnuts and a gallon of milk.
Her phone buzzed, but it wasn’t Jewel. Lance had said, Art’s driving the truck with my mother, and I left early to get to the ranch ahead of them.