“Hold on a sec.” Pressing the receiver to my chest, I called out for Jamie. “Your mom’s on the phone, Jamie.”
Seconds later, his running feet came storming into the kitchen. I held out my cell for him, which he snatched up quickly.
“Mommy!” he cried, running back into the living room with the phone to his ear.
Shaking my head at all the energy that seemed to just flood off the boy, I finished up in the kitchen then followed after him a few minutes later. Putting the large bowl of popcorn on the coffee table, I took my place on the couch beside Sawyer. His arm went around me immediately, tucking me into his side. Pressing a kiss to my temple, he hit a few buttons on the remote and the main menu for the movie popped up on the screen.
Jamie was still on the phone, his face full of eagerness as he talked animatedly with his mother. “And then Dad talked the zookeeper into letting me feed the monkey, and he ate the banana right out of my hand.” He sucked in a deep breath and kept going. “Aunt Ash freaked out when the hippo ate an entire watermelon. It crushed it with its huge teeth like it was nothing. Juice squirted everywhere. She held on to me real tight because she was afraid I’d fall into the hippo’s habitat and get eaten like the watermelon.”
I shuddered at the thought of his head getting pulverized by the hippo’s jaws just like the watermelon had been. The zoo had been fun for me up until then. After seeing that beast of an animal eating, I had been ready to call it a day and bribed both Brannons with the promise of ice cream if we could go home.
Sawyer reached an arm across my lap and pulled my legs over his. Keeping his hand on my hip, he nuzzled my ear with his lips. “What’s the game plan for when Amber gets home? What are we going to tell her about us?”
I chewed on the inside of my cheek, not sure how to answer that extremely loaded question. I hadn’t given much thought to what to tell her because I honestly didn’t have a clue what was going on.
“Ash?” His voice deepened as he grasped my chin and forced me to lift my head to meet his dark gaze. Gold flecks sparkled down at me, and I couldn’t hide the uncertainty that I knew had to be shining like a neon sign from my blue eyes.
“I don’t know what to tell her,” I finally told him, going for honesty.
“Why is that?” His tone was gentle, but there was something in his gaze that told me he was on high alert.
I shrugged. “Mostly because I don’t know what’s going on myself.”
His hold on my chin tightened, his eyes narrowing. “What’s going on is that I love you, and you love me. We’re starting our lives together.” My heart gave a lurch at those words, but I still didn’t know how to respond. “Isn’t that what you want?”
“Yes,” I whispered, the truth of that one little word coming out in a force I couldn’t keep out of it. “More than anything.”
I felt him relax, and only then did I realize he had been holding his breath.
“I won’t ever let anything come between us again, baby. No more secrets.”
“Okay.”
“So, what are we going to tell your best friend?” He tilted my chin up a little more, brushing his lips over mine in a caress that was butterfly soft yet still had the power to make my pussy flood with need and my blood sing.
“I still don’t know what to say to her,” I grumbled when he kissed a trail from my lips to my jaw, then started nibbling at the sensitive flesh just under my ear. “What do you suggest?”
“Well …” he breathed against my ear, making goose bumps pop up all over my ultra-sensitive body. “We could start with the truth.”
“That sounds easier than I know it will be.”
He lifted his head just enough so our gazes locked. “Baby, I know. But it’s time she knew it all, don’t you think?”
“I guess so,” I muttered, lowering my head to his shoulder.
“Hold on, Mommy.” Jamie was right beside me now, and Sawyer’s head jerked up when his son thrust my cell between us. “Here, Dad. She wants to talk to you.”
Sawyer and I had kissed several times in front of Jamie, but the kid hadn’t really questioned it. He had been pretty accepting of the time the three of us had been spending together.
Sawyer’s brows lifted as he took the phone from his son. “Jamie, go wash your hands before we have popcorn.”
“Okay, Dad.”
He skipped off down the hall to the bathroom, and I sat up straighter as Sawyer lifted the phone to his ear.
“Amber?” There was a small pause, and I leaned closer, trying to listen in.
“Hey.” I couldn’t hear her well enough to hear what emotion was in her voice. “How are things going?”
“He’s fine, Amber. We’ve been hanging out and doing all kinds of fun things over the last few days.”
“I heard.” I thought I heard her laugh, but I couldn’t have been sure. “Hippos and monkeys, oh my! That’s not what I meant. How are things going with Ash?”
I went completely still at that question, not completely sure I had heard her right. What the …? What?
Sawyer caught my gaze, grimacing when he saw that I had the whole deer caught in headlights look on my face. “What do you mean?”
“Oh, please. Did you think Jamie wouldn’t tell me?”
“Tell you what, exactly?”
The huff that came over the receiver was audible enough that I was sure I could have heard it from across the room. “Dad has been holding Aunt Ash’s hand. He kisses her on the lips … and the neck.” I could picture my best friend rolling her eyes. “So, how are things going? Has she given in? Does she forgive you?”
I gasped at that last part and jumped to my feet, starting to pace. I had been worried about telling Amber everything, but from what I could hear of their conversation, it sounded like she had already known. I didn’t know how or when she had found out. But if she had known all this time about me and Sawyer …
No, I couldn’t think about that. I couldn’t believe that my best friend, the girl who was like my soul sister, would betray me like that. There was just no way she could have hooked up with Sawyer, married him, and had his baby while knowing I was in love with him. I hadn’t held anything against her because she hadn’t known I was with Sawyer back then. But if she in fact had known, then it changed everything.
“Amber, I think you should talk to Ash.” He stood and pushed the phone into my hands. His face was grim, but he lowered his head to kiss my lips, a soft brushing of his warm mouth over mine. “Don’t jump to conclusions,” he urged me. “Let her explain.”
I swallowed hard and slowly nodded my head before putting the phone to my ear. “Amber?”
There was a soft sigh in my ear. “Hi, there.”
“Y-you knew?” I whispered, not trusting my voice to speak louder for fear of screaming at her.
“Not until recently,” she rushed to assure me. “Between the way Sawyer has been acting lately and what Jamie told me about how you two have been holding hands and kissing, I finally put it all together. I can’t believe how blind I have been all these years.”
“Oh.” I felt tears burn my eyes as my anger subsided just as quickly as it had come on. “I … I’m sorry, Amber.”
“You’re sorry?” Her voice was sharp, but I thought she sounded choked up. “Girl, I’m pretty sure that’s supposed to be my line. I don’t know how you don’t hate me, Ash. I’m not so sure I could have been as understanding as you’ve been over the last six years. I screwed up everything. You have to know I never would have done that if I’d known.”
I was already shaking my head. “No, you didn’t know. How could you have? Besides, it doesn’t matter now. Let’s just leave it in the past where it belongs.”
A sob-filled laugh filled my ear, and I knew we were okay. There was a reason she was my best friend. We were family, through thick or thin.
“I can do that, but only if you tell me what the hell is going on with you two now.”
I glanced at Sawyer who was watchin
g me closely and wiped a tear from my eye. His face darkened, and I saw him clench his hands as he took his seat on the couch.
“I’ll have to get back to you on that.”
“Still making him work for it, huh? I can’t say I blame you. Make him sweat, babe. Kick him a few times in the balls for me while you’re at it.”
“It’s not like that,” I tried to tell her when I heard Leo talking in the background.
“Well, keep me informed, okay? I kind of have a vested interest in this whole thing, seeing as you might end up being my kid’s stepmother and all.”
My eyes widened at that. I didn’t know how to respond. Jamie as my stepson? I couldn’t possibly let myself hope for that much. It was still too soon to even think that far into the future. Sawyer and I hadn’t lasted past two months the last time around. We would need to get a hell of a lot further down the road this time before I could even contemplate marriage.
Leo said something else, making Amber huff in exasperation. “I have to go, Ash. Mr. Grumpy is ready to eat, and I still have to find something to wear. Can we have lunch one day when I get back?”
“I would like that,” I assured her, still distracted by her last comment.
“Great! I’ll see you in a few days. Give Jamie a kiss and a hug for me.”
Before I could promise her I would, the phone went quiet in my ear.
I dropped the hand still holding the cell to my side, feeling like I had just stepped into some surreal universe where everything was being set to rights in every aspect of my life.
I had been freaking out about how to handle Amber just minutes before. Now that was taken care of and Amber actually seemed like she wanted things to work out for me and her ex.
Sawyer and I were together, where we should have been all along. I wasn’t going to focus on the past anymore. I was happy now, and that was all that mattered.
Jamie came skipping down the hall and jumped onto the couch beside his father before scooting over to make room between the two of them. My godson patted the cushion. “Sit here, Aunt Ash. Then me and Dad can both sit beside of you.”
Turning my phone off, I set it on the end table then picked up the bowl of popcorn before taking the offered seat. As soon as my butt touched the cushion, Sawyer pulled me against his side and Jamie cuddled against me. Both of them dived their greedy hands into the bowl, stuffing their mouths full of the buttered goodness as the opening credits began playing for our movie.
Sawyer kissed my temple, his fingers flexing on my thigh. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, Aunt Ash.” Jamie told me from my other side, leaning up to press a wet kiss to my cheek.
I had to swallow a few times before I could make my throat work. This might not have seemed perfect to some people, but for me, this moment was pure nirvana.
“I love you both.”
EPILOGUE
Sawyer
THE CHURCH WAS PACKED WITH over three hundred people. Every gossip hungry socialite in the city had jumped at getting an invitation to the biggest wedding of the century. It had taken over a year, but it looked like Amber was finally getting the wedding she had always wanted.
I wasn’t sorry that I hadn’t been the one to give her this. I was never the right man for the job, so it wouldn’t have been right for our wedding to have been more than us going to the courthouse and getting married. No, Leo was the man who her world revolved around, so it was perfectly fitting that he had pulled out all the stops to give her exactly what she wanted.
Even not making a big deal out of me, her ex-husband, walking her down the aisle to give her away.
As we stood at the back of the church, the double doors closed in front of us as we all waited for the ceremony to begin, I found my hands shaking. While this was Amber’s big day, it was an even bigger one for me. I didn’t want to fuck it up.
I couldn’t fuck it up.
My life was on the line.
Ash was crouched down in front of Jamie, straightening his tie. The simple wine-colored maxi dress she wore gave me a glimpse of her breasts as she shifted a few strands of hair that had fallen from her up-do into her face. She was so beautiful that I forgot how to breathe for a moment.
Amber tapped me on the arm with her bouquet of white roses. “Are you going to be okay?” she asked in a voice low enough that only I could hear.
I had needed Amber’s help putting what I had planned into action. After all, I was basically going to take some of the action off of her in a little while. Regardless, she had seemed almost as excited about my plan than her actual wedding, which was saying a hell of a lot considering how much she was dying to marry Leo.
I nodded jerkily. “I’m just scared out of my mind right now. What if she says no?”
Amber rolled her eyes, telling me without words that she thought I was an idiot. “Why would she?”
My heart felt like it was going to explode it was beating so furiously. “The question should be why wouldn’t she.”
Things had been great between me and Ash for the last year. She had been the one to make us take things slow. Otherwise, I probably would have asked her to marry me the minute Amber had gotten back from her vacation. Even though it had driven me crazy, I had let her go at her own pace, not wanting to scare her.
“Just relax,” Amber tried to soothe me. “It will all work out. I promise.”
The wedding planner appeared out of nowhere, giving Ash and Jamie the cue that it was time to begin. The music began to play, and she arranged the pillow in Jamie’s hands that held the rings on them.
“Just like we practiced,” she murmured to him then kissed his cheek.
“I got this,” he assured her with a cocky little grin that reminded me so damn much of myself.
She smirked at him and straightened. “I know you do, buddy.”
Once Jamie was in place, she started down the aisle after him. My eyes watched every step she took, loving the sway of her hips in that dress.
Amber tapped me a little harder with her roses this time. “Do you really want to walk me down the aisle sporting wood?”
Muttering a curse, I quickly thought of something that would take my mind off the sight of Ash’s sexy ass. It took a few seconds, and Amber gave me another eye roll before I could walk without embarrassing her—or hurting myself.
Offering her my arm, she linked hers through it, and then we stepped up to the doors as the music changed. It was only then that I felt my ex-wife shiver.
Looking down at her, I lifted a brow in silent concern.
She gave me a trembling smile. “Best day ever,” she murmured.
I covered her hand on my arm. “You deserve this.”
Her eyes softened. “So do you.”
I hoped so.
The walk up the aisle felt like it took an eternity, but was oddly over far too soon. No one could keep from seeing how in love the groom was with the bride and vice versa. Seeing the big man who was Leo wiping at his own tears brought a few to my own. It had been a long time coming, but Amber and Leo were finally where they were meant to be.
As I handed her over into his safe keeping then stepped back to take my seat, my gaze went to Ash. There were tears in her eyes as well as she smiled tremblingly at the couple while they said their vows.
Now that my job was over, I could focus on what was going to happen next.
For months, I had been desperate to find the perfect way to ask Ash to marry me. It was Leo who had come up with the idea, however. To have all the people who loved her front and center to witness my proposal … along with a dozen gossip columnists to scoop up the juiciness of it if Ash turned me down.
I wasn’t sure if the other man was hoping for that to happen or not, but I had to admit that the idea had been a good one. What better way to finally prove to Ash once and for all that she wasn’t my dirty little secret? With Amber’s permission and help, I was ready.
If my hands would just stop shaking long enough.
Ash
I could barely see the bride and groom as the minister told Leo to kiss Amber.
Finally, my best friend was where she had always wanted to be from the first minute she had met Leo.
Beside me, Jamie was practically dancing with excitement that the ceremony was over. This part was boring for him. He was more than ready for the party his mother’s wedding reception was going to be. He had made me promise to dance at least one song with him, and that he could have the biggest piece of the cake that he had helped his mother pick out when we had gone to the bakery to taste samples.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” the minister said now as Leo finally—and reluctantly—released his new wife. “I give you, for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Leon Allister.”
As we had practiced the day before, the organist began playing. But instead of the newlyweds turning to walk back down the aisle together, the couple turned to look at me.
Having been in the process of lifting the skirt of my dress so I could make it down the few steps where I had been standing, I nearly stumbled at finding all eyes on me.
Abruptly, the organist stopped and a new song began to fill the speakers that echoed throughout the entire church. It was an odd choice for a Holy place to play for no reason, was the first thought I had when I recognized the song.
Ed Sheeran’s “Perfect” was one of my favorite songs, but I hadn’t let myself listen to it in a long time. I had always thought of it as being our song, mine and Sawyer’s. Not even over the past year when things had been damn near as close to heaven as real life could possibly get had I listened to it.
Startled, I looked over to where Sawyer was supposed to be sitting with my brother and the rest of our friends, but his seat was empty.
A firm hand on my wrist pulled me around until I was facing the man in question. As it always did at his touch, my body responded accordingly. I started to melt against him, when he shifted away from me without releasing my hand and dropped to one knee.
His Dirty Little Secret Page 9
