A single tear spilled from her right eye, a soft sob escaping her as she tried without success to keep her chin from trembling.
I lifted a hand, wiping away the errant tear with my thumb as two more poured out, followed by a million more. My gut clenched at the sight. Her tears were like acid rain on my heart, slowly killing me a little more with each drop that spilled from those blue eyes.
“Baby …”
She shook her head, making her blonde hair fall forward. “No. Don’t say anything. I’m scared that, if you do, you’ll call those words back. And if you do that, it might just kill me.”
“Please don’t cry,” I begged.
A few more tears fell, shredding my soul.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t help it. I … For years, I have dreamed of you saying something like this. The reality is so much better.” She pressed her face into my chest, her arms going around me and holding on tightly.
I breathed a small sigh of relief, thankful that she wasn’t pushing me away.
I rocked her in my arms, savoring the feel of her against me, soaking it up in case this turned out to be a dream.
A memory of a song flashed back to me. I had just walked through the door of Ash’s old apartment and had heard it playing before I had even crossed the threshold. It had been slow, sensual. Curious, I had gone looking for Ash and the source of the music.
She had been in the kitchen, making dinner and dancing around in nothing more than one of my old T-shirts. Her hair had been pulled into a messy knot on top of her head, random strands falling down around her face, framing it in all its beautiful glory. She had been so lost in the song, singing along and stirring something on the stove. And I had been so entranced, simply standing in the kitchen doorway, watching her for a few moments, until the words had hit me like a blow right between the eyes.
“She looks perfect,” Ash had sung in her slightly off-key voice. “I don’t deserve this…”
She had turned around then, and caught me unashamedly watching her. In that moment, I had known that she was it for me. I had been so in love with her that I knew no one would ever touch my soul like she had. If I died tomorrow, I could go knowing that I had experience the kind of love that only came around once in a lifetime. If I lost everything—the money, my house, the expensive cars, friends, and family—I knew that as long as I had this woman beside me, I would survive it all.
The music had continued to play, so while she had still stood there, looking up at me with pink adorably filling her cheeks, I had closed the distance between us and pulled her against me. Her mouth had fallen open as I had started dancing with her, and she had kept up as we moved around the kitchen. I hadn’t been able to hide the evidence of what her nearness did to my body, and within a minute, my dick had been trying to break free of my zipper.
I had tried hard to ignore the ache in my balls, wanting to enjoy the moment, the song, and the woman in my arms. I had twirled her twice, but as she had come back to me, she had done a little jump and wrapped her legs around my waist, her lips seeking my own.
Now, as that memory began to fade, I knew that everything from that day still applied to how I felt for her.
I caught her chin between my thumb and forefinger, lifting her head until I could lower mine and touch my lips to hers.
The taste of her was still the same—sweet nectar with a hint of mint. My fingers tightened their hold, urging her to open more for me. As soon as I felt the tip of her tongue touch my own, I was lost. A primal need that was as old as the beginning of time set fire to my veins, causing my blood to burn.
Her soft moan vibrated against my lips, driving me even further over the edge of a desire-filled insanity. Six years was too long to go without her.
“Sawyer,” she whimpered my name when I released her chin to grasp her ass in both hands, grinding my throbbing dick against her belly. “We need …” My hold tightened, giving each globe a firm squeeze. “… a bed. We need a bed right now.”
I was too far gone for words. Lifting her off her feet, she wrapped her legs around my waist just as they had that night in the kitchen. Her fingers stabbed into my hair, but it was too short for her to pull. Her nails raking over my scalp made me shudder in reaction as I carried her across the apartment to her bedroom.
THIRTEEN
Sawyer
ASH BURIED HER FACE IN my neck, kissing, nibbling, raking over my favorite spots as I tried not to drop her along the way. She weighed nothing at all, but my legs were unsteady with the force of my need, and my hands trembled in reaction to actually having her where I had been wanting her for what felt like an eternity. It took a will I wasn’t sure I possessed to not push her up against the closest wall and sink balls deep into her heat then and there.
The door to her room was already ajar. I kicked it open before heading straight for the bed, tossing her on top of it. My movements were not in the least graceful as I followed her down, already reaching for buttons and zippers, needing her naked, aching for the feel of her soft skin against my own.
Her hands were just as busy, tugging my shirt apart, forcing the buttons through the holes and sending a few flying in the process. We were both panting, so lost in each other that the world could have ended and we wouldn’t have cared.
Her pants disappeared over my shoulder, along with her light pink panties, leaving her in a top that was half undone, showing me a teasing glimpse of the matching pink bra.
I sucked in a breath that sounded unsteady to my own ears. Her legs were slightly spread, giving me a small peek of her perfect pink pussy. Her mound was neatly trimmed, the blonde curls damp with the proof of her desire. Her thighs looked silky smooth, and I knew I would find her dripping wet even before I lifted a shaking hand and traced her pussy lips with my middle finger.
Goose bumps arose on her legs and arms, her body trembling so hard her teeth started to chatter. The room was too warm for her to be cold, so I knew it was with need.
Her legs fell open more for me, and I circled her clit with my thumb as I thrust my middle finger into her. Her hips rose off the bed, taking me deeper into her tight heat.
Ash had been a virgin when we had made love for the first time, and right then, she felt just as tight as she had then. If I had been jealous of any other guy touching what I had considered was always mine, it faded right then—for the moment at least. Ash very obviously hadn’t been with anyone else in a long time.
Thrusting a second finger deep inside her, I stretched her, getting her ready for my invasion of her sweet body. Her questing hands stopped, and her left arm fell back across her eyes as she panted my name over and over again, riding my fingers, coating them in her honey.
She was close. I could feel it in the way her inner walls were starting to contract, trying to suck me deeper. Her breathing was coming faster, and her teeth sunk into her bottom lip, holding back her screams as the release tried to consume her.
Once, she had screamed so loud that her neighbors at her old apartment had pounded on her wall, yelling for her to get off already. Ever since then, she had tried her best not to scream during sex. She tried, but once she started to come, she couldn’t hold back.
That was what I wanted. To hear her screaming for me, feel her coming around my fingers, making her forget everyone and everything except for me.
“Sawyer,” she panted. “I need you.”
“I know, baby, I know.” I kissed her lips, long and hard. “Come for me. Show me how much you want my cock inside you.”
She started to clench her thighs closed, but I moved between them, refusing to let her. I pulled my fingers free, only to thrust in three as deep as I could go without hurting her. Her back arched, her hips twisting, and then she was giving me exactly what I had asked for.
Her teeth released her bottom lip, her throat tightening with the force of the scream that followed her orgasm.
“Sawyer, yes. Oh God, please. Yes.” She caught my wrist, keeping me where I was as she rode out t
he rest of her release, as if she thought I would leave her hanging halfway through.
Her channel was flooded now, soaking my hand and the comforter underneath her.
I continued to thrust my fingers into her as deeply as possible without causing her discomfort, wringing her body of every drop she had to give.
A long moment later, her body went completely slack, her hands releasing mine as she made a contented mewling sound and snuggled her head into a pillow. Only then did I pull my fingers free and licked them clean as she watched me through heavy lidded eyes. She sucked in a sharp breath when I lifted my fingers to her mouth and rubbed them along her bottom lip, giving her a tiny taste of herself.
My cock was begging for freedom after watching her come so hard. With my free hand, I dipped inside my undone dress pants and boxer briefs, pulling it free and letting her see exactly how far gone I was.
Her thighs pressed together, as if she had a new, painful ache, even though I had just relieved her of one.
Moving quickly despite how languid her body must have been, she sat up on her knees and slowly finished undressing me. My shirt went first, disappearing over the side of the bed as she pushed me onto my back and started to pull my pants down my legs. My shoes were long gone, and my socks and underwear were pulled from my body so carefully I thought I was going to lose my mind.
Completely naked now, I waited for her to make her move, but she just sat back on her heels, watching me. She licked her lips, looking as if she were trying to decide which part of me she wanted to devour first.
My dick stood straight up, the tip leaking come for her to taste.
“Baby,” I groaned when she touched her fingertips to my chest, stroking her nails over my pecs. “I love you, but if you take your time, I’m going to die.” I cupped my shaft, stroking it upward to show her a huge drop of come. “Taste.”
As if she had needed the invitation, she covered my hand and lowered her head. The tip of her pink tongue came out, licking away the drop of come. I watched her swallow it, her eyes closing as she savored the flavor of my seed on her tongue.
The groan that left me then was full of primal need. I grabbed her wrists and pulled her on top of me so she was straddling my waist. Hands on her waist, I then lifted her until the tip of my cock teased her entrance. She held her breath as I lowered her, filling her, stretching her far more than my fingers ever could. Her pussy was still soaked, making the slide down easy.
Halfway in, I had to stop and take a few calming breaths before I exploded. She fit me like a glove handmade for my cock. Gritting my teeth, I gripped her hips hard and thrust upward until I was balls deep.
She gasped, a look of discomfort on her face filling me with guilt.
“I’m sorry, baby.”
She pressed her hands into my waist, steadying herself as she sat straight up. “It’s been a while for me,” she confessed with a twist of her lips.
“For me, too,” I assured her.
“By a while, I mean six years.” She sank her teeth into her bottom lip once again, but she didn’t look away as I had feared she might.
Relief was like a living entity inside of me. I had only assumed it had been a few years for her. The thought that she hadn’t been with anyone besides me hadn’t even dared enter my head, but there she was, telling me just that.
“It’s been four and a half for me,” I admitted, not wanting to lie.
Her eyes darkened, and I watched her swallow hard. Then she shifted her hips, making my mind go completely blank to everything but the feel of being so deeply inside of her.
“Let’s not talk about the when or whom. Let’s focus on right now.”
I thrust my hips up, making her bounce a little. She squealed, digging her fingers into my abs in an attempt to hold on.
“Good idea, baby.”
She lifted her hips, her tightness stroking every inch of my cock. She moved until only the tip was inside her before sliding down just as slowly. I gripped her ass so hard I knew she would be bruised later, but it only made her wetter, her eyes shooting blue flames of pure, unadulterated lust down at me.
Ash liked it when I was slow and tender, but she loved it when I was rough. That she was willing to try anything at least once, that she could keep up with me, and wanted to experiment had been what had made our sex life so hot.
I was glad to see that hadn’t burned out while we had been apart.
When I sat up, she wrapped her legs around my back, keeping me from coming out of her. Her still covered breasts pressed against my chest as she stroked her fingers through my hair before linking them at the base of my neck. I lifted her up then slammed her back down, causing my balls to slap against her sweet ass. Her head fell back, a sultry moan pouring out of her as her pussy walls tightened around my shaft.
“Look at me,” I commanded, lifting her on my dick again.
She did, her eyes locked with mine. “Sawyer,” she whimpered.
“That’s right, baby. Say my name just like that.” I lifted her again before slamming her back down. The room was filled with the sound of how wet she was as our bodies slapped together. “Tell the world who’s inside you.”
“Sawyer,” she cried louder, and I moved her faster, harder, hitting that spot deep inside of her that I remembered would shoot her over the edge. “Oh, God.” Her head fell forward, her lips seeking mine. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“I missed you, too. You don’t know how bad I missed you, baby.”
I was mindless with need for her, but that didn’t stop my throat from filling with a lump. I kissed her back, pouring all those times I had lain in bed, wishing she was tucked in beside me into each caress of my lips over hers.
It started out as a soft kiss, but like always, it soon left us burning, gasping for air. I didn’t know where she ended and I began. It felt like we had become one entity.
Needing to feel her come around my cock, dying to pour every drop of release I could already feel fighting for freedom into her, I flipped her onto her stomach. She lifted her ass immediately, already anticipating what was coming next.
Red marks from my fingers shined prettily on her creamy skin as I pulled her back against me and entered her roughly. She buried her face into a pillow, muffling her scream as I jackhammered into her at a speed that shouldn’t have been humanly possible. The room was filling with the scent of our combined muskiness, the helpless noises coming from her acting as a soundtrack that spurred me higher and higher.
She turned her head so she could look at me from over her shoulder. “I’m coming,” she groaned half a second before I felt her convulsions begin.
Her sweet cream flood down her thighs as I continued to thrust into her hard. My balls tightened, and I knew it was only a matter of seconds before I would fly into the abyss of pleasure with her.
“Sawyer!” she screamed. “Hurry. I need your come in me.”
Her command was the final catalyst, triggering my orgasm.
The first shoot of my come departing me felt like a jolt of pure energy, leaving me and invading her. She moaned as the heat of the proof of my release filled her, her pussy grinding back against me as her inner walls milked every drop from my willing cock.
It felt like hours later before I could even breathe right. I had fallen onto my back, pulling her on top of me. Her head was tucked on my chest, her ear pressed to my still pounding heart. Her fingers still had a fine tremble to them, but she was tracing random designs over my waist. We were both covered in sweat, our bodies seeming to have melted together to make one large mass of languid flesh.
“I love you,” she whispered so quietly I almost didn’t hear her, as if she didn’t really want me to hear them.
FOURTEEN
Ash
THE NEXT DAY, WE PICKED Jamie up from Taryn’s and had lunch together in Central Park. Afterward, we went to see a family-friendly movie and spent two hours at the arcade so Sawyer and Jamie could beat the highest score on some zombie game while
I watched.
That night, both Brannon men stayed over. Jamie in his room, and Sawyer in mine. The kid didn’t seem to think anything about his father sleeping over, which was a good thing, because I wasn’t sure how to explain it to him. Honestly, I wasn’t even sure how to explain it to myself.
Sawyer had said he loved me, but there had been no talk about what was going to happen next. Were we dating or just fooling around again? Brice knew about us, sure, but there was still one other person who needed to be told. Frankly, I wasn’t looking forward to diving into that with Amber anytime soon. Taking Dominic’s advice, I decided to just take it day by day.
The next week passed in a blur of pleasure-filled, sleepless nights and fun-filled days. We were always together, and it felt like we were a little family when we went out with Jamie or sat on the couch together, watching a movie. I enjoyed every second of it, and my heart begged for more.
Amber was coming home in three days, so I was going to soak up every moment I could, not the least bit sure what was going to happen once she got back.
I had just finished popping the popcorn to go with the movie Sawyer was putting into my Blu-ray player when my cell rang with a familiar tone. I almost didn’t answer it, but Amber knew Jamie was spending the night with me, and I figured she wanted to talk to her son just as much as she wanted to talk to me.
Picking the phone up off the counter where I had tossed it when I had come into the kitchen, I hit connect and lifted it to my ear. “Hey, stranger.”
“Hi,” she greeted happily. “Watcha doing?”
“Getting ready to watch a movie with Jamie. I just finished the popcorn.”
“Yummy. You make the best popcorn.” There was a pause, and I heard her say something, but she must have turned her head away from the phone because I couldn’t make out what it was. Probably talking to Leo, I suspected. “Is my kid around? I miss him so much.”
His Dirty Little Secret Page 8
