“No,” she barks, and I have no choice but to drop it—for now, at least.
“Have you spoken to Erica?” She shakes her head. “I think you should.”
“You seem to have a lot of opinions on what I should do for someone who hardly knows me.” Her words cut, but I can’t really argue. I do feel like I’ve just been slapped with her change of attitude, mind you. “I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I just…ugh. All this shit just happened all at once. I need to process one thing at a time, and you might be surprised to hear that you were more persistent.”
“I don’t know what you mean. Has she tried to talk to you?”
“Yeah. She’s been texting me for days, but I just…she was sleeping with him, Ben”
“I know, but I really think you should hear her out. She said she was in a bad place after her ex and—”
“He was a dick.”
“He manipulated her. She didn’t willingly sleep with him.”
“I know, I know. It’s just…” She sighs and drops her head onto my shoulder. I want to feel happy about the fact that she’s using me for comfort, but the truth is that she’s just exhausted and overwhelmed. She’s had so much to try to deal with and process in only a few days. It’s no wonder she doesn’t know what to deal with first.
“Just promise me you’ll talk to her. Don’t let him ruin your friendship.”
“I promise.”
The rest of the flight and the taxi drive into the city are pretty quiet. We’ve both got too much on our minds to do much talking.
“It’s on the right here,” Lauren says, twisting in her seat, getting ready to get out.
I was less than impressed when she immediately gave the driver her and Joe’s address when we got in, but I’m not sure what I was really expecting. This is her home.
The taxi pulls to a stop outside her building and my heart falls into my stomach. I’m not ready for our time together to come to an end already. I don’t really feel like I’ve achieved all that much, other than the fact that all our words are no longer shouted at each other.
“Well…uh…thanks for gate crashing, I guess.”
I think back to my journey through the airport to find her, and it feels like a lifetime ago, not three days.
“You’re welcome. I hope I didn’t totally ruin your time away.”
“Not entirely. There were a couple of good bits.”
“A couple?” I try to make it sound light and playful, but I seriously miss the mark.
Her sympathetic eyes turn on me and she smiles.
“Thank you, I think.”
“Wait,” I call just before the door closes. “When can I see you again?” Her mouth opens to respond, but no words pass her lips. “I’m not giving up here, Lauren.”
“I…I don’t know. I’ll call you in a couple of days, and we’ll sort something out.”
Before I get a chance to respond, the door’s shut and she’s walking away, tugging her small suitcase behind her.
“Fuck.”
“Where to, mate?” the driver asks, ignoring my frustration. I rattle off Mum’s address.
Resting my head back, my exhaustion takes over and I sleep the whole journey. The driver actually has to wake me up when he pulls up in front of the driveway.
“Shit, I’m sorry. How much do I owe you?”
I pay him and stagger out. I don’t have anything; the few bits that Lauren picked up for me I either left behind or squeezed into her case.
Letting myself through the gates, I find both Mum and Chris’ cars in the driveway. Thinking nothing of it, I unlock the front door and head towards the kitchen for a drink.
There’s music playing somewhere in the house, but there are no voices, so the last thing I expect is to stumble upon two barely-dressed people locked in an embrace in the kitchen.
“Oh fuck. Shit. Sorry.” Closing my eyes, I turn and walk away, trying to will the image of Chris’ hands on my mum’s body from my mind.
Flustered, panicked voices sound out from behind me before Mum’s soft footsteps start getting closer.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t think you were back until tomorrow. I was—”
“Pre-occupied?”
She’s clutching her silk robe tightly around her body in an attempt to cover up what she’s wearing—or not—underneath. No grown man should have to see his mum in slutty lingerie; it’s just wrong.
“Fuck,” Mum whispers, looking up to the ceiling. “We…I…fuck—”
“It’s okay, Mum.”
“But—’
“But what?”
Back when Nick told me about her indiscretions when he was trying to get rid of me, I had no idea if she had cheated or whatever, but something told me that if it were true—and she’s since pretty much confirmed that it was—it would be with Chris. They’d been friends for years, and although Mum fell in love with Dad, I always thought Chris was a little too attentive. “You’re both consenting adults. I mean, I didn’t need to witness…that. But what you do is up to you.”
She lets out a giant breath. I don’t understand why she was so worried, but then something Lauren said recently hits me. I don’t know who you are now. Guilt sits heavy in my stomach that the reason Mum looks so relieved is my fault. It’s true; they have no idea who I am now and how I’m going to react to things. Anger burns within me. I clench and unclench my working hand, trying to release some of the tension building.
“O-okay,” Mum stutters, looking at me as if I might blow at any minute. “Did you have a good time with Lauren?”
“It was…good. Weird. But we talked. I think we’ve cleared the air at least.”
“Good. That’s good.”
“I’m going to go.” I point towards the stairs and turn to leave. “Keep the noise down, yeah?”
The sound of her light laughter behind me lifts my spirits a little. Chris sheepishly pokes his head from the kitchen just as I go to climb the stairs. One side of his mouth twitches up in a smile and I nod. “Just look after her.” His smile grows as Mum tucks herself into his side, and I can’t help my heart swelling a little. Has she moved on fast? Yeah, most people would probably say so, but then none of them knew the reality that was living with Nick. If Chris makes her smile, then who am I to criticise their choices? Fuck knows I’ve made enough bad ones over the years.
Undressing without Lauren to help me is a harsh reminder that she’s across the city. At least I now know that she’s not doing fuck knows what with her boyfriend. I still can’t quite believe she lied to me, that she made me believe they were a couple, but looking back, I really should have seen the signs. I was too blindsided by her to see much else. Although, I could have sworn the look in his eyes every time he glanced at her went beyond friendship.
I’m just walking out of my en suite after attempting to shower while keeping my cast dry, when there’s a light knock at my door.
“Come in.”
“Hey,” Mum says, poking her head inside. Thankfully, she’s now fully dressed in her pyjamas. “Chris has just left.”
“He didn’t have to. I don’t want to get in the way.”
“No, it’s fine. He was going anyway. Are you really okay with it?”
“Yes, I really am.” She nods, but I don’t think she believes me.
“Here,” she says handing me a white paper bag. “I brought these home from the hospital for you. They might help with the pain.” She nods to where I’ve got my arm wrapped around my ribs.
“Thanks.” Ripping into the bag, I pop a couple of pills out of the packet and swallow them down, hoping they’ll help me sleep tonight.
“Are you okay to talk, or do you need to rest?”
“We can talk.” I slowly lower myself to my bed. Mum jumps up like she wants to help, but there’s nothing she can really do. “What’s up?”
Once I’ve found a somewhat comfortable position, I look over. She looks more concerned than she did after being walked in on earlier. “Word’s got out at
work that there are money issues.”
“Shit.” We were hoping to keep it quiet from the staff so they wouldn’t panic unnecessarily. “What does that mean?”
“We’ve lost a few.”
“Already?”
“The rumour’s gone around that wages might not be paid, and a few of the newer ones have jumped ship.”
“Christ.”
“Bert’s also handed his notice in.”
“Are you shitting me?” Bert worked with Steve on the contracts. We’ll be fucked with both him and Steve gone.
“I tried to convince him to stay, but his son’s set up on his own and he said it was the perfect time to support him.”
“Fabulous. He’s helping the competition,” I say with a strained laugh. “What are we going to do?”
“Chris said he might know someone who could help?” I bite my tongue from asking what he knows about the building industry. I soon realise that I’ve no idea how to fix this, so if Chris knows a guy, then it’s more than I’ve got. “Plus, I guess it frees up office space so we can—”
“Are the garages still full of Dad’s crap?” I ask, remembering something Lauren said to me on the way home.
“Yeah, why?”
“What do you think about converting it into offices? We could apply for planning to extend to the side, so we’d have stores. It wouldn’t be perfect, and it might not be a long-term solution, but it would save us some serious cash in the long run.”
“I think…” She trails off, walking over to the window to look out at the driveway and the garages I mentioned. “I think we’ve got enough space for a few vans out there. We could pave some of the grass if need be. I think it’s perfect, Ben.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to crash your home, but it might be the new lease of life the business needs.”
“It’s not my home anymore, Ben. This place belongs to you, remember?”
“I know, but—”
“No buts. If you want to move the business here, that’s your call to make. Just give me some warning before you decide to kick me out as well.”
“I won’t do that. This is your home.”
“It was. It was my home when your dad was here with me. It’s only been a house since then.” The honesty in her voice makes my heart ache. I had no idea she felt the same way about this place that I did. “It deserves to be a home once again. I’d love nothing more than for you to raise a family of your own here.”
A giant lump climbs up my throat at the idea of living here with Lauren and starting a life together. I’ve no idea what she sees for her future and if I’m in it, but I know exactly what I want, and it seems Mum does too.
I nod, unable to speak around the lump blocking my throat.
“I’ll leave you to sleep. I just needed to tell you what was going on.”
“I appreciate it. Thank you,” I manage to get out before she leaves the room.
“Jesus,” I mutter, rubbing my hand over my face.
The prescription painkillers Mum gave me work like a charm, because as soon as I find a semi-comfortable position, I’m out like a light.
Chapter Twelve
Lauren
I didn’t anticipate how empty I would feel as I walk away from Ben. Everything inside me screams to turn around and go back to him, but I know I can’t. That’s my heart talking, and it’s already got me in enough trouble where Ben Johnson is concerned. Before I let it have its way, my head needs to be certain that he’s in it for real this time. I already know I won’t survive the heartache if he walks away again and I’ve allowed myself to fall.
It’s late Friday night and I expect the flat to be empty, so I’m shocked when I hear water running from Joe’s room. He’s usually out getting drunk and having the time of his life by now. I’m definitely the quiet one in our friendship while he’s the wild child.
Propping my suitcase up in the hallway, I step into his room. “Hey, I’m back,” I call but get no response. Glancing around, I take in the mess that I’ve become used to. Thankfully, he keeps it all confined to his room.
A stack of papers on his desk catches my eye. I shouldn’t be spying, but the giant red FINAL DEMAND stamp on the top is kind of hard to miss. Walking over, my heart pounds when I see the logo for our letting agent at the top of the letter.
“What the fuck?”
Picking up the paper, I read words I never thought I would. Pay our outstanding rent arrears or face eviction. Joe hasn’t been paying the rent?
“Oh, hey, you’re back. Did you have…fuck.” Racing over, he snatches the paper from my hand and screws it up. “Did you have a good time?”
“What the fuck was that, Joe?”
“It’s nothing. You don’t need to worry about it.”
“I don’t need to worry that we’re about to be evicted? What the hell?”
“It’s just a mistake. I’ll sort it.”
“Look me in the eye and tell me that,” I demand when I notice that he’s looking everywhere but me.
He turns his dark eyes on me, guilt etched into every one of his features, and I already know that this isn’t a mistake. “I…fuck.”
“I give you half of the rent every month. What the hell have you done with it?” Anger starts to bubble through my veins. I really fucking want this to be a joke, because I’m not sure I can deal with anything else right now.
“I spent it.”
“All of it?”
“It was never an issue before, because the rent was covered.”
“What do you mean the rent was covered? Who was paying for it?” I don’t know why I ask. The tight knot in my stomach already knows.
“Lauren, this isn’t how it sounds,” he pleads, concern filling his eyes.
“You’ll need to tell me before I figure that out.”
“Fuck.” Lifting his hands to his hair he runs his fingers through and tugs hard. “Fuck.” I jump at the volume he shouts it at.
“Just tell me.” My hands tremble as I wait for the inevitable to fall from his lips. “Who paid our rent?”
“Your dad,” he mutters, and although I knew it was coming, I still feel like the world just fell from under me.
I drop down onto the edge of Joe’s bed as I try to figure out why.
“I didn’t have any other option at the time, and your dad knew it.” Frustrated with hearing the same words from so many people recently, I narrow my eyes and wait for him to continue. “My parents had disowned me. I had no money and nowhere to live. It was my only option if I didn’t want to sleep on the streets.”
My mind spins and blood rushes past my ears as what he’s confessing registers. Sucking in a few deep breaths, I look up. Joe looks like hell when my eyes land on him, but it doesn’t make me feel any better about all this.
“You’re telling me what exactly? My dad paid you to be my friend?” My body trembles with anger as I wait for his response. Surely those words can’t be true. Joe has been the kind of friend I could have only wished for, especially when we first became close. I’ll be the first to admit that I wasn’t in a great place back then…why would he want to spend time with me if he weren’t being paid? A sob rumbles up my throat as I realise that it’s true. He doesn’t need to say the words; they’re written all over his face.
“Lauren, it wasn’t like that.”
“Really? So what was it like?” Standing toe-to-toe with him, I wait. I wait for him to tell me that it’s all a sick joke. But instead, he swallows and looks away. My eyes burn as the realisation that my relationship with my best friend is based on a lie really hits me. “I can’t do this,” I whisper, walking from his room and collecting my suitcase.
“Lauren, please. Let me explain. It’s not as bad as it sounds,” he begs.
“So my dad didn’t pay you to be my friend?” I look back over my shoulder to find him in the doorway, guilt twisting his face. “Exactly.”
“Lauren, please don’t do this. I love you, please.” His pained voice hits my
ears as I wrench the front door open, but it doesn’t stop me, and I storm through it. The lump in my throat is painful, and my eyes continue to burn, but I won’t cry. Not until I’m in the safety of my car at least.
I didn’t have a plan other than to get away, but when I find myself driving up the street where I know Ben is, I’m not surprised. The most sensible thing would be to go to Mum or Danni, but they’re not who I want right now.
Before I change my mind, I pull up to the gates and slowly drive through once they’re open. Looking up at the house and wiping the tears from my eyes, I realise I don’t hate it like I once did. I don’t really want to accept it, but since Dad passed, everything is just so…different. I’m not sure I can really explain it, but everyone is walking a little straighter, everyone’s eyes are a little brighter. It’s not that they’re glad he’s gone or anything…I don’t think. It’s more that the pressure he put on everyone has disappeared, and they’re all feeling lighter. I can already see the difference in Jenny; she’s becoming the woman I’m sure she always was; too busy hiding in Dad’s shadows.
Turning off the engine, I start to question myself. I don’t want to give him the wrong idea. He’s desperate for us to re-start where we left off six years ago, but I need to protect my heart. That doesn’t stop me needing his comfort after this latest revelation. The thought of having his strong arms wrapped around me right now is enough to have me pushing the car door open and heading towards the house.
Everything’s quiet as I make my way up the stairs, but it’s not an uncomfortable silence like I remember all too well.
Placing my hand on his door handle, I almost turn around and walk back out, but the image of Joe’s guilt-ridden face has me pushing down instead.
The only light in the room is a small lamp on his bedside table. It allows me to clearly see him sleeping. I spot a box of painkillers beneath the lamp, and I realise that I shouldn’t be here. Not just because I’m treading on dangerous ground with him, but also that he needs to sleep. He tried telling me that he slept fine in Rome, but I know he was lying. I heard him shuffling about and sucking in sharp, painful breaths as he tried to get comfortable. I need to walk out; but his peaceful, sleeping face has me lingering longer than I should. His bedroom is the same as I remember; the only difference is the man sleeping within it. I don’t just mean physically. He always seemed so confident as a kid, but as we grew closer, I saw that most of that was a cover. He was hiding from the pain of losing his dad and acting out to make it seem like he’d dealt with it. He was lost back then. He didn’t know his place in the world, and he just bumbled around, enjoying what he could. It’s why I wasn’t convinced that he really wanted me in the first place.
Fighting for the Forbidden: Forbidden Series #3 Page 10
