Ben the man seems much surer of himself. I know he’s still got plenty of issues to deal with, my dad being one of them it seems, but to me at least, he’s found where he needs to be. I know he’s having a hard time leaving the life he’s lived for the past six years and the friends he’s made, but he knows as well as I do that he belongs here.
Letting out a sigh, I turn to leave.
“Lauren?” His voice is rough and gravelly, and it makes me stop in my tracks. I look back over my shoulder, and he stares at me like I can’t possibly be standing here.
“I should go. This was a bad idea.”
“No, wait.” He gets up much more smoothly than I was expecting. The sight of the sheets slipping down his torso has me frozen in place. “Shit, what’s wrong?”
Before I know it, he’s in front of me, his thumbs wiping the tears from my cheeks.
“It’s…” The security of his warmth seeping into me along with his scent filling my nose is too much. I lose the fight with my emotions, and a sob rumbles up my throat. “It’s…”
I don’t get a chance to say any more before I’m pulled against his hard body and his arms wrap around me. Dragging in a few deep breaths, I try to calm myself down. I’m fed up of falling apart and being such a mess, but it’s just one thing after another right now. Every single thing is the result of one man’s actions, and I’m really starting to dislike him.
I’m seeing a side to my dad that I should have seen when he was alive.
Some of this might not have happened if I didn’t bury my head in the sand. I feel stupid and naïve for ever believing he was a man I could trust and who had my best interests at heart. All he wanted was to be in control. Another wave of tears hits, and Ben moves us over to his bed. His arms don’t once leave me and the amount of comfort I find in that scares me.
“It’s okay,” he whispers, his lips in my hair. “I’m here for whatever you need.”
“It’s…Joe,” I finally get out.
“What’s happened? Is he okay?”
“Oh, he’s fine. At the moment,” I say, thinking that might not be the case when Ben catches up with him after this. Broken arm or not, I already know he’s going to want to fight this battle for me.
Pulling his head back, he looks at me with his brows drawn. “What do you mean?”
“My dad paid Joe to be my friend. Everything between us has been based on a lie.” My lips tremble as I say the words aloud.
Ben tenses beside me. “Motherfucker.”
“I thought our relationship was just as important to him as it was me, but he was only there because he was getting paid for the privilege.”
Ben vibrates with anger. His eyes are dark, his lips pressed into a thin line and his jaw pops as he fights to stay here with me. “I’m gonna fucking kill him,” he growls. Lust shoots through me at the sound of his deep voice. I may still have a lot of reservations about re-starting a relationship with Ben, but one thing I do know for certain is that he will protect me, no matter what.
“No,” I sigh, placing my hands on his chest. “I don’t need you getting involved.”
“What do you need?”
“I’ve no idea. Can I…” I trail off, not sure if I should be asking the question that’s on the tip of my tongue.
“Can you what?”
“Can I stay?”
“This is your house too, Lauren. You don’t need my permission.”
“That isn’t what I meant, and you know it. Can I stay?” I flick my eyes to his bed. “I don’t want to be alone.”
“You can have whatever you want, baby.” His eyes darken, and I immediately regret asking. He wants more than I’m willing to give right now.
“Just hold me?” I look away, embarrassed by my request, but his fingers gently press into my chin and turn me back.
“Always.”
Our eyes hold, and my mouth waters. It would be so fucking easy to lean into him right now. My fingers fist the sheet beneath me as I try to remind myself why I wanted to take this slow.
“I just need…” As I move, he releases his hold on me.
“Lauren,” he calls just before I disappear into his bathroom. My breath catches when I look over my shoulder at him. His bruises are starting to fade and he looks incredible sitting there with the covers pooled at his waist. “Yeah?” I breathe.
“I mean it. Whatever you need. I’m here.”
“I know.” Ducking inside his bathroom, I close the door and take a breath. I was expecting to spend the evening at home alone as I dissected every second of our time together in Rome, but here I am, hiding in his bathroom. I couldn’t even make two hours without him.
Shaking my head at my ridiculousness, I do what I need to do before splashing my face with cold water and attempting to brush my teeth with my finger.
Finding one of Ben’s folded t-shirts on the side, I run my finger over the cotton. Lifting it from its place, I bring it to my nose and inhale his scent. Butterflies erupt in my stomach and I can’t stop myself.
Stripping out of my own clothes, I leave them in a pile on the floor and slip his shirt over my head. Something within me settles the moment I’m surrounded by him.
I run my fingers through my knotted hair and stare at my red-rimmed, tired eyes in the mirror. I’m fed up of all the bullshit and drama. I thought it was over, but it seems that was just wishful thinking.
The second I pull the door open, I’m less confident about my decision to borrow Ben’s shirt, but I soon realise that I needn’t worry because one look at him and I know he’s out cold. A smile twitches at my lips that he’s finally able to get some good rest as I make my way across the room. Pulling the covers back, I slip in beside him and run my eyes over every inch of his face. He’s not shaved since the accident, so he’s got five days’ worth of growth covering his chin; if anything, it only makes him more beautiful. His dark eyelashes rest down on his strong cheekbones and his lips are curled into the slightest smile. The thought that I could have something to do with that causes heat to bloom inside me.
Leaning forward, I gently place my lips to his forehead. “Thank you,” I whisper. I’m not sure what exactly it’s for, but it feels right. He might have turned my world upside down once again when he reappeared, but I can’t imagine dealing with the fallout of Dad’s death without him.
There’s no sign he’s awake, but suddenly his arm moves, and he wraps it around my waist and pulls me to him. It feels so incredibly good to be wrapped in his arms once again.
Chapter Thirteen
Ben
I truly thought it was a drug-induced dream, so when I come to and hear the shower running in my en suite and the other side of the covers flicks back like I have company, I’m shocked.
The water stops and the sound of her light footsteps filters through the slightly ajar door. If I didn’t know better, I’d think that was an invitation.
The moment her shadow fills the gap, my cock twitches to life. Propping myself up against the headboard, I wait. I’m not disappointed when she appears, because she’s dressed in only my t-shirt.
“Fuck me. This is the best sight I’ve woken up to in a long time.”
Her cheeks heat and she tugs at the hem. “Sorry, did I wake you?”
“No, not at all. I just wasn’t expecting you to be here.”
“You thought I’d run?” Confusion fills her voice.
“No. I thought it was a dream.”
“I wish,” she mutters sadly.
“Come here.” To my surprise, when I open my arms for her, she comes willingly. Sitting on the edge of the bed beside me, she allows me to comfort her. Knowing she’s accepting it—me, maybe even us—has some of the uncertainty within me settling. She came here to be with me last night. That means something. It means a lot, actually.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
She shakes her head, but after a few seconds, her soft voice fills the room. “I found a final demand letter for the rent. Dad was paying
for it. I guess the payments stopped with all the financial issues. I had no idea. I was giving him my half every month. Christ knows what he’s done with that. Unless we pay the outstanding debt, we’re being evicted…next week.” She shudders in my arms and I hold her a little tighter.
“I just can’t quite get it into my head that after everything we’ve done together, how close I thought we were, he was only there for financial gain. It just doesn’t make sense.”
“You need to talk to him.” She’s silent in my arms, and it’s clear she’s got nothing to add. “It might make more sense if you found out more. I know for a fact that things aren’t always that simple where your dad was concerned.”
“I’m not ready. I can’t cope with the fact that two of my best friends were manipulated by a man I used to love, who I thought, although controlling, was a good guy. I just don’t know how to deal with it all. It’s too much too soon.”
“I know, baby. But I really think—”
“Take me away. Just for the weekend. Please. I need just a little time to try to process everything. Then I’ll come back and talk to both Joe and Erica.”
Placing my hand on her shoulder, I push her back so I can look in her eyes. I open my mouth to argue, but she beats me to it.
“Please, Ben. I’ve got my case from Rome in the car. We don’t have to go far, just somewhere I know they’re not going to find me. Please,” she begs. Her blue eyes stare into mine, and I can see all the beautiful but broken pieces her dad’s left behind.
“Okay,” I concede. I’ve never been able to say no to her. “Let me get dressed and we’ll make a plan.”
“I’m not planning. Just take me somewhere. Anywhere.” An idea pops into my head, and I smile. “What?” she asks sceptically.
“I know just the place, and I can guarantee that you’ll be distracted.”
“Should I be worried?”
“Possibly,” I admit with a laugh. “Now get dressed, unless you’re planning on going in my t-shirt.”
* * *
“We’re going away for the night,” I say to Mum, who’s drinking coffee at the kitchen table and smiling down at her phone.
“But you just got back.”
“I know, but—”
“It’s my fault,” Lauren says, walking around me and into the kitchen.
“Lauren? What are you doing here first thing in the morning?” Mum looks between the two of us with an amused expression plastered on her face.
“It’s a long story. One that you’ll probably not be surprised involves my dad.”
“Now what?”
“Did you know that Dad and Joe knew each other prior to his employment?” I’d shown Lauren the other photos Liv sent me while we were away before leaving my room a few minutes ago. It only confirmed what she already knew.
“No, not that I know of. Why?”
“Dad paid him to be my friend. I guess to distract me from him,” she says, nodding her head towards me.
“I’m sorry, he what?” Mum asks, spluttering coffee all over the table and down her chin.
“At some point, I might find someone in my life who hasn’t been manipulated by my father.”
Mum and I look at each other, and a knowing look passes between us at being two of those people.
“What’s Joe got to say about all this?”
“I didn’t hang around long enough to hear. It’s just all too much. I just need a few hours to try to get my head straight. I thought dealing with his death would be hard, but all this other crap is just…ugh,” Lauren complains. I can’t help but feel for her. Losing a parent is one of the hardest things to deal with, even as an adult. I might not agree with her running away right now, but I do understand her need for time.
“Take whatever time you need, sweetheart. At a time like this, no one can tell you what you need. Only you know, so trust yourself and don’t rush it. Grief is a bitch, and it can hit you when you least expect it. Things will get better though.” Sadness fills Mum’s eyes. She knows how true that is all too well.
“Thank you.” I watch as Lauren walks over to give Mum a hug. It’s the first time I really appreciate how close they became while I was gone.
They’re only separated when the doorbell rings.
“Are you two expecting someone?” Mum asks, looking confused. We’ve never really had the kind of house that people just turn up to.
Shaking our heads, I leave them to find out who it is.
I’m pretty sure I already have a good idea. My muscles tense as I reach out to open the door. I might not be on top form right now, but I’m not opposed to kicking his arse.
“What?” I grunt the second my suspicions are confirmed.
“Can I see her?” Joe asks, looking tired and stressed.
Stepping out and closing the front door behind me, I focus my stare on him. “No, you fucking can’t. What the fuck were you playing at? She fucking trusted you.” My teeth grind as I fight the urge to punch the fucker. Sadly, I’d have to use my left hand, and I know it wouldn’t hurt as much as I’d like it to.
“It’s not like it seems,” he pleads.
“Really. So Nick didn’t pay you to be her friend? To distract her from me? I guess we can both see why he chose you. You’re a weaker version of me. Wait…don’t tell me. You’re not gay either?” His eyebrows pinch together but he remains silent. “Yeah, I know.”
“I don’t…It’s not…” With a sigh, he gives up. “She’s my best friend; I love her. I couldn’t give a fuck about her dad. Yeah, I needed him in the beginning. I was in a bad place, but it soon became clear that we had a connection.”
“Then you should have fucking owned up. He’s caused her enough pain trying to control her life over the years. You owed her the truth. It should have come from your own lips.”
“Like you’re one to give advice. At least he didn’t run me out of London.”
“Fuck you,” I spit, lurching forward.
“Go on then. Fucking hit me.”
“Enough,” is called from behind us before Lauren’s hands wrap around my upper arms to pull me back. “Ben, don’t. He’s not worth it.” The pain that fills Joe’s eyes at her words almost has me feeling bad for him. It’s enough for me to know that what he just said is true. He does care about her. But it doesn’t fix the fact he’s lied to her for years.
“Joe, you need to leave.”
“Lauren, please. Just hear me out.”
“Not now.”
“Please,” he begs.
“Not. Now.” Lauren spits, and Joe has no choice but to back away. “Are you okay?” she asks, turning her concerned eyes on me.
“Me? Yeah, I’m fine. Are you?” She shrugs before leading me back inside. “You really need to talk to him.” I know she probably doesn’t want to hear it, but I can’t stop the words falling from my mouth. Why I’m defending the fucker is beyond me, but I truly believe he does care, and if he’s done as good a job as I think he has of looking after her for the last few years then he deserves to be heard.
Mum’s stood in the hallway waiting to see what’s going on, concern written all over her face. “Just do what feels right,” she says to Lauren with a small smile before heading up the stairs.
“Let’s go.” Turning, she locks her eyes on mine.
“You sure?”
“Yes. Now take me away, Ben.”
“Fine, you’re driving.”
“Just point me in the right direction.”
* * *
“We’re going to Devon, aren’t we?” she asks the second we’re on the motorway heading out of the city.
“Is that okay?”
“Stop questioning everything,” she says with a chuckle. “I told you I didn’t care where we went, and I meant it.”
“I just want to make you happy.”
“This is making me happy.” She might not say that I’m the one making her happy in so many words, but hope explodes within me nonetheless. “I’m looking forward to
meeting your friends properly.”
The journey is fairly quiet, and I allow Lauren the time she needs to process everything that’s whizzing around her head. It’s late afternoon when I direct her to pull up on the driveway of Dec’s house.
“Whoa, when you said you looked out on the beach, I wasn’t quite expecting this. It’s incredible.”
“Dec was really lucky to get this place.”
“I can’t believe you wanted to leave in favour of London.”
“It wasn’t the place that was calling me back.” She turns the engine off and shifts in her seat so she can look at me. “My home is wherever you are.” Her breath catches and her eyes soften. I expect her to say something, but after a few seconds, she just smiles. “Are you ready? This lot can be a little crazy.”
“Worse than those we left behind?”
“No, probably not,” I admit with a laugh, thinking of Erica and a few of the others.
“Holy shit, Ben!” Liv cries the second I step foot into the living room. She jumps up and runs towards me. She’s just about to collide with me when she takes in the cast. By some miracle, she manages to stop before she hits me and gently wraps her arms around my waist. “What’s happened? Are you okay? What’s going on with Lauren?” She fires the questions out without giving me a chance to answer any of them.
“Nothing, she’s right here,” Lauren says from behind me, causing Liv’s eyes to go so wide I’m worried they might pop out.
“Oh my god!” Liv turns her attention to Lauren and gives her the overenthusiastic hug I was almost about to get. “Can I get you drinks?”
Fighting for the Forbidden: Forbidden Series #3 Page 11
