“Sure.”
We follow Liv through to the kitchen. I can see Lauren looking around at everything out of the corner of my eye. It feels weird being back here, and even weirder having her with me. I never thought I’d ever have my two worlds become one, but it seems that it might just be happening.
Liv puts the kettle and coffee machine on and then turns her attention to us. “So are you two…”
“Friends,” Lauren answers quickly.
“Friends?” Liv’s eyes flick between the two of us before landing on me. “How’s that working for you?”
“Fantastic, I love being Lauren’s friend,” I say through gritted teeth, which earns me a slap to the shoulder.
“Behave,” Lauren chastises. “He’s trying.”
“You have some weird power over our BJ, that’s for sure.” Lauren stifles a laugh while Liv just looks amused. “I never thought I’d see him whipped.”
“Enough. Don’t make me regret bringing her here.”
“No, please continue. I really want to learn more about the elusive BJ,” Lauren encourages, and I groan.
“You really don’t.”
“Okay, no, I don’t want to know about that side to BJ.”
Liv and Lauren chat away like they’re old friends. Neither seems to be even slightly concerned that I’m in the same room as they talk about me and compare notes.
“Babe, whose car is parked in the…BJ!” Liam exclaims as he rounds the corner. “Dude, it’s good to see you. Lauren, hey, this is a surprise. Are you two…?”
Liv pierces him with a look while running her hand in front of her throat to get him to stop, and it works…eventually. “They’re just friends. I’m going to make up the guest room for her.”
“Wow, BJ has a woman here, and she’s not going to share his bed. What a novelty.”
“Shut up, dickhead.”
“Ow,” Liam complains, rubbing the sting my hand left behind on his head. “I had years of stick off you; it’s time for payback.”
“I was afraid of that,” I mutter.
“So what’s the plan? The shack to meet Dec and Nic?”
“Yes. Let me show Lauren to her room so she can get ready.”
The girls disappear up the stairs. Liam and I watch them leave before I head up to my old room to shower and dress. The painkillers Mum got from the hospital mean I can move a little easier, and getting dressed isn’t quite as agonising as it was in Rome.
I’m hit with a huge wave of nostalgia when I open my bedroom door and find it exactly as I left it the day I headed for London. I think back to the uncertainty I felt that day. I had no clue what I was about to walk into. In reality, I think it’s worse than I was expecting—business-wise at least. But Lauren’s single and mostly open to us again, even if she is trying to fight it.
As soon as I’m ready, I head back downstairs and find Liam at the table nursing a beer where I left him. The second he sees me heading his way, he grabs me a can so I can join him.
“So…friends? How’s that working out for you?”
I groan in pain and a smug smile spreads across Liam’s face. “Oh, just fuck off.”
He laughs but his face soon turns serious. “She just needs time. You two are it, and you know it.”
“Yeah.” A sad laugh falls from my lips. “I know it. I’m just not sure she does.”
“She does. I can see it in her eyes every time she looks at you.” I narrow my eyes at my best friend, wondering when he turned into a love doctor. “What?”
“Nothing, nothing. So, how’re things down here?”
“Quiet. This house just isn’t the same without you. What are your plans now? Have you moved to London officially?”
I look around the house that I called home for years and realise that I can no longer call it that. “Yeah, I guess I have.”
“This place was too small for you anyway.”
“I guess,” I say sadly. As much as starting over with the business and Lauren in London excites me, I’m also sad to say goodbye to this place. It might never have been where I was meant to be, and I never fitted in, not really, but I’ve got some amazing memories of my time here—not to mention some incredible friends.
“Distance doesn’t mean shit when…fuck.” Liam’s distracted when footsteps hit the bottom step and he looks over to Liv. She looks good in a little playsuit thing, her legs going on for miles. I understand why he lost his train of thought.
He gets up and goes straight over to her, ruining her perfectly applied lipstick.
“Where’s Lauren?”
“Coming,” Liv mumbles against Liam’s lips.
Exactly as she said, footsteps descend the stairs and I wait. A pair of sandals appears before a tanned pair of legs has my mouth watering. Slowly, the rest of her is revealed. She’s wearing a sexy little floral dress that hugs her body in the most delicious way. I swallow and shift on my seat as I will my cock not to go full mast just from looking at her. Once she’s down, I take in her loosely curled hair and simple make-up. She looks fucking stunning, and I realise that tonight’s going to be torture. Her eyes find mine, and something crackles between us. I may be the other side of the room, but I can sense the hitch in her breathing as our connection holds.
“Okaaaay,” Liv says, trying to break the tension. “Ready to go?”
Liam gestures for Lauren to head out and I expect him to grab onto Liv, but she manages to give him the slip so she can grab me. “You’re welcome,” she says with a wink, nodding towards Lauren.
“This is painful.”
“Yeah, I noticed that cast was on your writing hand. I bet you’re having a hell of a time right now.” She tries to contain her amusement but fails miserably. “Sorry, I’m sorry. You’re totally winning her over, just so you know. She might put you out of your misery soon.” As she says that, Lauren looks over. Our eyes lock again and a bolt of lust hits me so strong it makes my knees buckle.
Jesus Christ, I need her.
Chapter Fourteen
Lauren
Ben’s eyes have been glued to me since the moment I stepped down the stairs. His stare had goosebumps covering my skin and tingles shooting around my body. Every time I’m away from him, I tell myself that the next time I see him will be different, that the crazy connection between us is just in my head. But then I step into the same room as him and all my good intentions go to shit, because just like when I was eighteen, he has this power over me.
Liam walks beside me as we head towards the beach, leaving Ben and Liv trailing behind. Their hushed voices just about carry to us, and I can only imagine that Ben’s getting quizzed about me. Seeing Ben with his friends settles something inside me. Although I hated him when he left, and I still do a little now, it makes me happy to know that he had people looking out for him when he was without family. My thoughts turn back to Joe, and my shoulders sag. I’m having a hard time believing that our friendship is based on nothing but lies and deceit, but that seems to be the level my dad functioned on so I’m not sure why I’m surprised.
“So, what was he like as a kid?” Liam asks, dragging me from my thoughts.
“I uh…didn’t know him as a kid. Our parents married when I was fifteen, and we never really spent any time together until I moved in at eighteen.”
“I hear you spent quite a bit of time together then,” he says, giving my arm a nudge.
“Yeah,” I sigh.
“Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”
“It’s fine, it’s fine.” It’s really not, but I don’t want to bring a downer on what should be a fun night. “He hasn’t changed all that much since back then. He’s just a little more focused, I guess. He was always a bit of a joker, but he’s more determined now. It’s like he knows what he wants and he’ll do whatever it takes to make it happen.”
“You’re talking about yourself, right?” My cheeks heat under his stare. “You know he won’t stop.” I can see that Liam wants to say more, probably to ask me how lo
ng I’m going to string his mate along for, but thankfully, he keeps his mouth shut. “Here we are.”
“This place is incredible.” I look around, taking in the perfect sandy beach with the sun setting in the distance, casting everything in an orange glow.
“Lauren?” Ben’s deep voice rolls through me. I turn to look at him, and concern covers his face—that is until I smile at him and it lights up. I’m reminded of everything he’s done for me in the last few days, and it chips away a little more of my restraint.
Stepping into his side, he wraps his arm around my shoulder and drops a kiss to my head. Heat fills me and I snuggle in deeper.
“Is this okay?”
“It’s perfect.”
Together we walk into Dec’s beach shack. It looks exactly as I would have imagined, if not better.
Dec and Nic get up from the sofa to greet us. Dec pulls Ben into a very gentle man hug while Nic comes over to me.
“It’s so good to see you again.”
Her wide smile makes guilt twist my stomach as I think back to the last time I saw them. It wasn’t exactly an enjoyable experience as Ben and I squared up to each other in the club.
“I promise to cause less drama this time.”
“We live in a sleepy little town; we love a bit of drama here.”
I’m ushered over to the bar with Liv and Nic while the guys make themselves comfortable on the sofas, looking out at the beach beyond.
The three of us watch them catching up and laughing together.
“How’s he really doing?” Liv asks.
“What, aside from the fact that he fell from the roof of a building?”
“Yeah, we can see how he’s doing with that,” she says with a laugh.
“He’s okay, I think.” I hate that I can’t really answer with confidence. I’ve been so lost in my own head that I don’t really know where his head is at. “He’s got a lot of work on his hands with the business. My dad did a really good job screwing everything up.”
“If anyone can do it, BJ can.”
Pride swells within me at their words. “Yeah, he can.” Looking over at him laughing and joking with his friends, friends who have been his family for the past six years, makes my heart ache. There’s so much of his life and who he is that’s a mystery to me, and I hate it. I want to know him like I did back in the beginning, not have this huge void between us.
He must be able to feel my stare because he looks over. Something crackles between us and my temperature rises.
Nic waits until he’s turned away and joined back in with the guys’ conversation before she speaks. “We’ve never seen BJ like he is with you. It’s something we really never thought we’d see.” I look between the two of them, urging them to continue. I’m desperate to know more about the Ben they know. “He was…” Nic pauses as she thinks. “A little…free and easy—”
“Manwhore,” Liv chips in helpfully. “What?” she asks when Nic gives her a hard stare. “Lauren knows the basics, and I don’t think she wants us sugar coating. Right?” she asks, turning to me.
“Right,” I agree, even if the idea of discussing Ben with other women makes me want to throw up.
“I really didn’t ever think I’d see him hung up on one woman. I think it looks good on him.” I don’t need to turn around to know that he’s looking at me once again. My skin burns with his attention. “He really loves you, Lauren.”
A giant lump forms in my throat. I nod because that’s all I’m capable of before swiping my wine from the counter and swallowing a huge mouthful. I know how Ben feels. I can see it every time I look into his eyes. I just wish I wasn’t so afraid to have my heart broken again.
“I know you both probably think I’m stringing him along but—” I let out a sigh as I try to find the right words.
“You don’t have to explain anything to us. We know all too well how complicated these things can be,” Liv says, placing a comforting hand on my arm.
I smile sadly at her. “He shattered my heart when he left. I know I won’t survive if it happens again.”
“None of us can predict the future, Lauren, but we can regret the past. Don’t waste time if you think it’s something you’ll look back on later and regret.”
Her words hit with the punch I think she intended.
“Are they playing nice?” Ben asks when the girls get distracted by their boyfriends and I find myself accompanied by him at the bar.
“Yeah, they’re lovely. They were dishing the dirt on you. I’ve been learning what a dog you were.” He swallows nervously. “I’m kidding, but I’m assuming from your reaction that it’s not far from the truth.”
“The less we discuss my antics here the better.” The image of him touching faceless women once again pops into my head. “You want to get out of here?”
“Only if you’re ready.”
“I am. I don’t want to share you anymore.”
“Is that right?” Butterflies erupt in my stomach at the prospect of it just being the two of us. I try my best to put the little bit of lingering doubt I have aside.
After saying our goodbyes, Ben links his fingers with mine and we head out into the night.
“Isn’t the house that way?” I ask when he tugs me in the opposite direction and then down onto the sand.
“I thought we could just walk for a bit.”
“Okay, hang on.” Coming to a stop, I lean against the wall and slip my shoes from my feet. The cool sand seeps between my toes as I gather my sandals and reach for Ben’s hand.
It’s the perfect night. The sky’s filled with twinkling stars and the sea gently crashes against the sand.
“Are you warm enough?” Ben asks, pulling me into his side and wrapping his good arm around me.
“Uh huh,” I mumble, too content right now to ruin it with words. It was a lovely late summer’s day, and although it’s getting cold fast, with him beside me I’m fine.
We seem to walk for the longest time in silence, enjoying each other’s company. It feels so good to just be after all the arguments and bullshit.
“It’s really beautiful here,” I eventually say, breaking the quiet night. “Are you sure you’re ready to leave?”
“I’m going to miss it, that’s for sure. The beach, the peace and quiet, the sea air.”
“You know you don’t have to, right? Just because everything’s been left to you, it doesn’t mean you have to deal with it. If this is your home then…” I trail off, not really wanting to voice the rest of that sentence.
Ben slows to a stop and pulls me in front of him. Tucking a lock of hair behind my ear, he stares into my eyes. It’s like he can see right inside me and read all my fears.
“My home is wherever you are, baby.”
My heart pounds at his honesty. It might not be the first time he’s said it, but I’m starting to really believe him now. It might be foolish, but Liv’s words are still on repeat in my mind.
I try not to think about what I’m doing and reach up on my tiptoes and press my lips to his. He sucks in a breath of surprise but soon accepts my kiss. His arms wrap around my waist and I’m pulled tightly against him as his lips part and his tongue dances with mine.
We kiss like it’s the first time in six years. It’s exactly how our first one should have been, instead of the angry, punishing one we shared at the time. Suddenly his words about home being wherever I am make sense, because right now, wrapped in his arms, with his lips on mine, this is home. A contented moan rumbles up my throat as I cling onto him tighter and kiss him deeper.
When we eventually break apart, our chests are heaving and his eyes are glassy with lust.
“W-we should get back,” Ben whispers, his forehead pressed against mine, our bodies still woven together.
I hate the moment he releases me. It leaves me cold and I immediately want to step back into him.
The walk back is just as silent as before, and my concerns and doubts about what he’s thinking and feeling start runni
ng rampant.
“I can practically hear you worrying.”
“I am not,” I argue.
“Really?” he says with a laugh.
We come to a stop at my bedroom door for the night, and I see Ben look over to his own longingly.
“Thank you for bringing me here, for showing me this side to you.”
“You’re welcome. You still like me with this side?” The little hesitation in his voice has me stepping closer.
“I like all of you, Ben. You don’t need to worry about that. We all have things we wish we’d done differently; but looking back doesn’t achieve anything.”
“I know. I’ll never forgive myself for walking away from you.”
Placing my palm on his rough cheek, I look up into his dark-blue eyes. “At some point you’re going to have to accept it, Ben. What happened…happened. You came back, and we can still write our future.”
“Yeah?” Hope blooms in his eyes and my desire gets the better of me. My lips find his and I pull him against me. His cock almost immediately hardens against my stomach as the intensity of his kiss deepens.
“Jesus,” he moans when I start kissing across his jaw and down his neck. My hand slips around from his back and I rub him over the fabric of his jeans.
The moan that rips from his lips has the ache between my legs almost unbearable.
Warm fingers wrap around my wrist and stop my movements. Ben dips his head and I shiver as his breath tickles my ear. “Don’t start something you can’t finish, baby.”
“I can—” His fingers press against my lips, stopping any more words.
“The next time we’re together, it’s because I’ve proved to you that I mean every word I say. I want it to be the start of us, of our future. I want it to be because you’re in this for real and not because you feel like you have to.”
“I don’t—” His lips cut me off and I start to believe he’s changed his mind.
“Goodnight, baby.” He releases me and walks down the corridor. I might think he’s happy about this if it’s not for the pained look on his face when he stops and glances back at me.
Fighting for the Forbidden: Forbidden Series #3 Page 12
