A Little Learning

by Anne Bennett

  ‘No,’ Ruth agreed. She paused a minute and then asked: ‘Do you think Claire was sick, Janet, I mean nervous collapse type of sick?’

  ‘I think that’s the only explanation for her virtually dropping off the planet with no trace,’ Janet said. ‘Otherwise I’m sure she would have contacted me or you – someone at least. I think Chloe’s death pushed her over the edge. God, I was upset enough, I can’t even begin to imagine Claire’s pain.’

  ‘Well, now Ben knows, he’ll keep an eye out for Richard – well, for either of them, of course.’

  ‘Yes, but he’s unlikely to see them, isn’t he?’ Janet said. ‘If we look at it all realistically, for a start, America is a big place, and we don’t even know if they’re there or not.’

  ‘It’s a chance, that’s all,’ Ruth said. ‘The conference was on mental health, which is the field they’re all interested in. Ben travels all over America now and he says that in time he might be coming to Europe.’

  Janet didn’t answer. She didn’t want to talk or think about Ben Hayman, but Ruth continued, ‘He works really hard, but then he hasn’t got anything else. His marriage is a sham, Janet. Therese’s left, or virtually left. She’s moved herself, baby and nurse to her parents’ house. Ben rattles round in an apartment in New York. He says nothing, of course, but you pick it up in his letters.’

  Janet snapped, tight-lipped, ‘I’m not interested, Ruth, I don’t see why you should think I am. He’s not the only one with a less than ideal marriage, but he has to make the best of it like everyone else. You feel sorry for him if you like, but don’t ask me to, because I save my pity and sympathy for those who deserve it, and that’s not Mr Ben Hayman.’

  Ruth was sorry she’d upset her friend, who was obviously still hurt and angry over what had happened. She decided to keep off the subject of her brother and his awful marriage altogether. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said, ‘really. I wasn’t thinking. I know that what he did to you was terrible. He must have been seeing Therese at the same time as going out with you.’

  ‘Yes, and sleeping with both of us.’

  Ruth’s mouth dropped open. ‘You slept with him?’

  ‘What do you think?’ Janet said. ‘I was crazy about him, and despite what you thought, we were going to get married. He’d bought me a ring and everything, only I had to wear it on a chain around my neck.’

  ‘Have you still got it?’

  ‘No, I sent it back,’ Janet said. ‘It’s probably adorning Therese Steinaway’s finger now.’ She shrugged and said, ‘Life goes on. I have someone else now, have you?’

  ‘Sort of. He’s a reporter on the Evening Mail and I met him last holidays when I wrote and asked if I could work on the paper in a voluntary capacity, just to see if I liked it. The paper was fine, Phillip was gorgeous, but he has yet to realise how ravishing and irresistible I am.’

  ‘I’m a bit further on than that,’ Janet said, but didn’t elaborate further.

  Later, in bed, what Ruth had said concerning Ben and his marriage kept crowding her mind as she tried to settle to sleep. She wondered if Therese was really as bad as she was painted. Although she owed the girl no favours, she found it hard to imagine that the faults were all on one side. Therese had been halfway to being a doctor when she left medical school, she reminded herself, and could probably have specialised in America as Ben had, especially as they had a nanny for the baby. That wouldn’t, of course, have suited the chauvinistic Ben, but perhaps Therese’s frustrations at being unable to continue with her career might be at the root of her dissatisfaction in her marriage, thought Janet.

  Lou and Shirley were aware almost immediately of the changed relationship between Janet and Simon, but hesitated to tease Janet about it. Janet was grateful for their sensitivity, for she and Simon were still feeling their way. They had grown much closer after their two days together after term had ended, and Simon had spent most of his Christmas holiday at the Travers’ house.

  They spent much of that spring term talking together, finding out about one another and their views on things. Simon had no objection to Janet taking a conversion course in order to teach after she finished at university. ‘I’ll be doing my national service anyway,’ he said. ‘By the time I’m out, you’ll have finished your probationary year and we can get married.’

  ‘I’m not sure I’m ready for marriage yet,’ Janet said. ‘Don’t rush me.’

  Simon saw the panic in her eyes and kissed her lips gently. ‘No rush, sweetheart,’ he said. ‘I’m not suggesting it immediately, it’s just something to think about.’ And Janet promised she would think about it.

  Simon, Lou and Shirley were invited to Janet’s twenty-first birthday party, which fortunately fell in the Easter holidays. Janet felt more confident about her friends now, and the very ones she hadn’t wanted at Duncan’s, she was determined to have at her own.

  It was the best party she could ever remember, and everyone agreed. One of the most important things was that Shirley and Lou got on so well with everyone. Janet had thought there might have been some resentment, almost jealousy, from Ruth when she was introduced to them, but there was none. Later, Ruth explained to Janet that she’d described the two girls so well and often she felt she’d known them all her life.

  The others felt the same way. Lou told her afterwards that she would have known her Auntie Breda anywhere, and her gran was just as she’d described. Even their boyfriends, Michael and Paul, blended well into the company. Ruth had obviously made her conquest, for as she introduced Janet to Phillip Williams, her reporter boyfriend who she said worked on the local paper, she gave her a huge wink.

  Much, much later, Simon and Janet waved their friends off before walking round to Sarah McClusky’s, where they were both spending the night, though Simon would be sleeping on the couch.

  ‘I can’t believe it,’ Gran said for the umpteenth time that night. ‘Twenty-one, our Janet.’

  Janet smiled and passed Sarah the cup of cocoa she insisted on drinking every night. ‘Yes, Gran, twenty-one. I can do what I like now,’ she said.

  ‘You always did, bonny lass,’ Mrs McClusky said with a wheezy laugh.

  She looked from her granddaughter to the young man across the table and knew she was in the way. They’d be polite as long as she cared to stop, but really they could easily do without her presence.

  ‘Well,’ she said, heaving herself to her feet, ‘you’ll not be wanting me hanging around spoiling your fun. I’ll be away to my bed.’

  Janet protested, as Sarah had known she would, but it was a courtesy gesture.

  ‘Nay, Janet,’ she said, ‘you’ll not believe it, maybe, but I was young and courting myself once. It might be a while ago, but I remember enough to know I’d not want my old gran sitting between myself and Sean – God rest him – the whole night long.’

  ‘She’s a character, your gran,’ Simon said, when the door had closed behind the old lady.

  ‘She’s lovely,’ Janet agreed.

  ‘And is she broad-minded?’ Simon asked with a sly grin. ‘Would she be up to me sneaking to your bedroom, or you sneaking down to share my couch?’

  ‘Forget it,’ Janet said with mock severity. ‘I’m locking my door firmly against drunken, marauding students, bent on rape and the odd pillage, and I don’t roll around on a couch with anyone.’

  ‘I’m not asking you to do it with anyone, foolish girl,’ Simon said. ‘I’m asking you to do it with your beloved.’

  ‘Ah, Simon,’ Janet said softly, and put her arms around his neck and kissed him. Then, hand in hand, they moved into the living room and sat cuddled on the settee.

  Simon took Janet’s hand and said, ‘I have something special for you.’ He drew a ring box from his pocket. ‘I had to give it to you when we were alone.’

  Janet gasped when she saw the sapphire glinting in the light, surrounded by tiny diamonds set in a golden band. ‘Oh, I couldn’t, I couldn’t,’ she was crying. ‘Simon, it must have cost you a fortune. I couldn
’t accept it and I don’t want to be engaged yet. I’m not ready.’

  ‘It’s not an engagement ring, and it cost me nothing,’ Simon said. ‘Let me explain. I was asking my mother what I could give you for your twenty-first as I wanted something decent and I’m a fairly impoverished student, and she produced the ring.’

  ‘Your mother’s ring!’ Janet cried.

  ‘Not in the way you mean, no,’ Simon said. ‘It’s a family ring and has been passed on through the eldest son for … oh, I don’t know how many generations.’

  ‘That’s what I mean. It’s too valuable.’

  ‘My mother asked me if you were special to me,’ Simon said, ignoring Janet’s outburst. ‘I said yes and told her I loved you, and she said that the ring is given as a token of regard, and is later replaced by an engagement ring when the girl has accepted a marriage proposal.’

  ‘But, Simon …’

  ‘Please take it,’ Simon said. ‘I can’t return it to my mother now, and it won’t fit her anyway. I had it altered for you.’

  ‘How?’ Janet asked in astonishment. She took the ring out of the box and slipped it on to the third finger of her right hand. It fitted perfectly. ‘How did you know the size?’ she asked again.

  Simon laughed at the look of surprise on Janet’s face and said: ‘Shirley lent me a ring that she said you’d borrowed a few times, and we went from there.’

  ‘So they’re in on this too?’

  ‘Well, yes,’ Simon agreed, ‘but don’t make it sound like some dastardly plot.’ He took Janet’s hand in his and said, ‘You will accept it, won’t you?’

  ‘Well, I don’t know,’ Janet said. ‘I suppose, but I’m not ready for commitment yet, not even an engagement. I seem to have been studying most of my life and I haven’t finished yet, and then I want to live a bit before settling down.’

  ‘I know,’ Simon said, ‘and I understand that, but in a few months we’ll be apart from one another. I just want to stake my claim, I suppose, before I leave, and tell you how I feel about you, and while you wear the ring, you’ll never doubt it. We can write to each other and see each other when I get any leave, then, when I’m finally demobbed, we’ll talk again.’

  ‘I’m a bit scared of marriage, Simon,’ Janet said, and gave a shudder.

  ‘You won’t be in two years,’ Simon assured her. ‘You just want to do something with your life first, that’s all. I can live with that.’

  Janet thought it astonishing that Simon should understand her so much better than Ben had, and realised that it was because Simon had really listened to her and how she felt. ‘Thank you, Simon,’ she said. ‘It’s a beautiful ring and I’ll be proud to wear it.’

  Simon was relieved. He hadn’t been at all sure that Janet would accept it. He loved her very much, and it was only the thought of the old lady upstairs that forced him to put the brakes on his lovemaking.

  They eventually broke apart, breathless. Janet was aware that if she stayed downstairs with Simon much longer, the inevitable would happen, so she reluctantly kissed him and made her way upstairs. Simon gave a sigh, wrapped himself in the blankets left ready and settled himself on the settee.

  TWENTY

  Janet obtained a first-class honours degree, but her parents didn’t notice how elated she was about it, nor how hard she’d had to work. They were used to Janet’s successes by then and they said it was only to be expected. Lou and Shirley had done nearly as well, and had previously decided to take the conversion course to teach like Janet. ‘Daddy would love me to work in the family firm,’ Shirley said, ‘but I’d hate it, it would just be like I’d never left home, his little girl again. Anyway, I want to do something for myself for once, and I’ve always liked children.’

  ‘I agree,’ Lou said. ‘Anyway, I don’t see people lining up to employ graduates and I really can’t think of what I want to do with my degree now I’ve got it, and a teaching certificate at least fits you to do a decent job, and I’ve always liked telling people what to do.’

  ‘We’ve noticed,’ Janet and Shirley said in unison, and they all burst out laughing. Janet was pleased with her flatmates’ decisions and glad they would have another year together. She knew neither Lou, nor Shirley had the same burning desire to teach that she had, but then there had never been a Claire Wentworth in their lives and they’d probably make more than adequate teachers just the same.

  She wondered if her mother was disappointed with her decision to stay in Leicester for at least another year. Possibly Betty would have preferred her to take a job locally and live back at her gran’s, but Janet knew that that part of her life was over and she’d probably never live on the Pype Hayes estate ever again, except perhaps for holidays. It was sad, but there it was, her life was going in a different direction.

  But Betty had accepted that years ago before Janet had even begun university and she was anyway more concerned about the relationship between her and Simon. After all, passing exams was all very well, but it wasn’t what life was all about. Now even Duncan had decided to settle down, getting engaged to his girlfriend Frances just weeks before, and Betty asked her daughter if she and Simon had made any plans. It had been in her mind ever since Simon had given Janet the ring after her twenty-first birthday party. To Betty’s mind, there was only one reason for a man to give a lass a ring, and for all Janet’s claim that it was not an engagement ring and because of that she wore it on her right hand, a ring was a ring and it meant something between a couple. ‘I was just wondering,’ she said to Janet, ‘now you’re finished and everything.’

  ‘But I’ve not finished, have I?’ Janet said. ‘I have another year and Simon’s got nearly two years’ national service to complete.’

  ‘I know all that. I just wondered if there’s some sort of understanding between you.’

  ‘Oh, Mom,’ Janet burst out impatiently. ‘Don’t rush me. I do love Simon and we enjoy being together. Can’t you leave it there?’

  ‘Let the girl be,’ Bert said firmly. He wasn’t keen for his daughter to get hitched to anyone just yet. He knew the day would come when another man would be more important than him in Janet’s life, but no way did he want to rush her into anything.

  Betty said nothing more, but she was worried. Janet had said she loved Simon, but wasn’t keen to marry him yet. She hoped she wasn’t going to suggest living together like some youngsters did these days, or she’d get a bad name for herself.

  By the end of September, Simon was in uniform, Sally had started in the eleven-plus class at Paget Road School. Ruth had begun as a cub reporter on the Evening Mail and Janet and her friends were beginning their conversion year at teacher’s training college.

  There was a desperate shortage of teachers throughout the country at that time and many certified teachers were taken on for just two years. It was strange for graduates to take the conversion course, but the three girls held firm that this was what they wanted to do. It fulfilled Janet’s burning ambitions, but she knew as well that a degree was not a passport to meaningful employment, either.

  Teaching, however, was an area in which women could do well, for everyone knew looking after children was a woman’s job, and with the national shortage there would be plenty of work for them when they left college. That’s what Janet needed, a chance to earn and try to repay her parents for all the years they’d given her, often at the expense of others.

  The training college was situated in disused ARP offices on Humberstone Road, further away from their flat than the university. The college had its own hostel-style accommodation, but Janet, Lou and Shirley rejected it out of hand. They decided, despite the distance, that the freedom they had in the flat was worth it and they elected to stay where they were.

  Janet, like her friends, found the training course very exacting and there was little free time. She was to find it even harder during the weeks of teaching practice that would finish just before the college broke up for Christmas. However, as she’d promised Sally years ago, she wen
t back at the weekends to help her with the extra work for her eleven-plus, and despite the fact that Sally was a bright and receptive child, by the time the Christmas term drew to a close, Janet was beginning to feel the strain.

  Bert and Betty both noticed how drawn she appeared, though she told them she was fine when they asked. She hated fuss and was glad she was now living with her gran, who was so pleased to have company in the house again she failed to see how worn out Janet was.

  Bert was always glad to see his daughter come home. He missed talking over the items in the news with her. Although Duncan was turning into a better mate than he’d ever thought possible at one time, it was Janet who’d always had an opinion about things. Sometimes they didn’t agree, but still Bert valued another viewpoint.

  The next evening he brought up the news about the satellite that the Americans had failed to launch. ‘It could be sabotage,’ he said. ‘I mean, these sputniks of the Russians went up all right.’

  ‘It’s not the same thing, Dad.’

  ‘Maybe not, but what do them Russians want with sputniks in space anyway, except to spy on us and the States. Bloody sods, the lot of them. And an inter-ballistic missile – now what the bleeding hell’s that when it’s at home? It don’t sound too friendly a bugger to me.’

  ‘Bert, for goodness’ sake!’

  ‘What?’ Bert snapped at Betty. ‘I suppose I can say what I like in my own bleeding house?’

  Betty gave a sniff. ‘It’s not nice, and especially not in front of our Duncan’s young lady.’ Frances flushed bright red and Duncan put his arm around her.

  ‘She don’t mind, Ma,’ he said. He didn’t know why his mother bothered trying to check his dad. He’d always been the same and it meant nothing.

  ‘What do you make of it all, Janet?’ Bert asked.

  Janet gave an impish grin and said: ‘What do I make of what, the sputniks or your swearing?’

  ‘The sputniks, you cheeky bugger,’ Bert said, and everyone burst out laughing.

  When it was quieter again Janet said, ‘I don’t think they’re spying, Dad. It’s a kind of race between the Americans and the Russians, isn’t it?’