Heart of Granite

by James Barclay

  It wasn’t that, though. Drakes didn’t exactly have a wide range of facial expressions but her body was tense and her eyes were wide and unhappy. Grim unlatched the pen door and closed it behind her before she turned to stroke Martha’s cheeks. The drake raised her head and shook it gently.

  ‘Missing your man, are you? Well don’t worry, he’ll be down here anytime. He’ll be late of course but he wouldn’t be Max otherwise, would he? Let me disconnect your tubes and we’ll give you a good brush down, okay?’

  Grim turned and pulled up abruptly. Flight Commander Moeller was at the side door to the tech area.

  ‘Grimaldi.’

  ‘Sir?’

  ‘Can I come in?’

  ‘Of course, sir. I’m just getting her ready, sir.’

  ‘Yes, about that,’ said Moeller, entering the pen.

  Grim watched him, a frown on her face and knowing that no good was going to come of this encounter. She tried to think of any transgressions she’d made but there was nothing; certainly nothing that would require Moeller’s personal attention.

  ‘Can I help you, sir?’ she asked.

  He smiled rather sadly. ‘No, I’m just here to pass on the news that Max won’t be flying today and you should stand this drake down. You know the procedure.’

  Martha’s rear claw whacked against the back of the pen and she rattled fluid deep down in her throat. Moeller started and backed towards the door.

  ‘She don’t like bad news all that much.’

  ‘Very funny, Grimaldi,’ said Moeller, his face a little pale. ‘If only they could talk, eh?’

  ‘Why isn’t Max flying, sir?’

  ‘He’s injured, in a non-flying incident,’ said Moeller, too quickly.

  ‘Which ward is he in, sir? I’ll get off and see him.’

  ‘He’s not . . . look, Grimaldi, I need to take the comparison readings from your data point.’

  Grim felt as if she’d been slapped across the face. ‘Why?’

  Moeller tried a mollifying smile but it was weak. ‘It’s nothing to worry about. File work . .. you know.’

  Grim shook her head, there were no good reasons he’d need that data. She reached into her pocket, though, and proffered her access card.

  ‘Here,’ she said, her tone deliberately sullen. ‘Sir.’

  Moeller might have reacted badly but he merely nodded. ‘Thanks but I’ve brought the master key.’

  ‘Then, with respect, why even ask me, sir?’

  ‘Because I respect those who work for me and, more importantly, Grim, because you need to know. I hope you understand.’

  Grim nodded and led the way to the data point, hooked to the pen by her small workstation and screen. She stood and watched while Moeller scanned his access card then downloaded the data set onto his p-palm. When he was done, he managed a curt nod before striding off.

  Grim turned to watch him go and caught Valera’s eye, leading a solemn Inferno-X along the flight deck. Valera’s anger was apparent with every pace she took.

  ‘What’s going on, Skipper?’ asked Grim.

  ‘Kirby’s goons took Max this morning.’

  ‘Not injured then, like Moeller said.’

  Valera shook her head. ‘Well, Hewitt punched him but I doubt he felt it.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘I don’t want you to get involved in all this.’

  Grim bridled and gestured behind her at Martha’s pen. ‘I’m already involved.’

  ‘True. Risa can fill you in when we get back.’

  Grim nodded. ‘All right . .. Where is he?’

  ‘I don’t know. He’s not in the brig . .. wherever he is, we’ll get him back. But he’s in a shitload of trouble with command.’

  ‘Be quick. You saw what Moeller did?’ Grim jerked a thumb at Martha’s data point.

  ‘Took the latest readings?’

  ‘Yes. Don’t let them take Martha.’

  Valera’s expression hardened yet further. ‘They’d be doing it over the cooling corpses of every member of InfernoX.’

  Grim smiled. ‘Thanks, Skipper.’

  Valera dragged her into an embrace. ‘We’ll work it out, but right now we’ve got to go. Look after Martha, okay?’

  Valera led Inferno-X away towards the rest of the pens, each one of them patting Grim on the back, kissing her on the cheek or in Risa’s case, enveloping her in a desperate hug. She watched them enter their individual pens before going back to try to placate an increasingly unhappy fire drake.

  Max hadn’t moved. He just stared at the ceiling. If he’d believed in any god he would have prayed for a swift end for the tortured souls in Landfill. Come to think of it, why had any of these pilots allowed themselves to be admitted and endure this agonising insanity? Anyone could opt to be euthanised.

  To date, Max’s short life had been crammed full of direction and focus. He’d never doubted his destination, whether it was to get a coffee, pursue a woman or become a drake pilot. But here, there was nothing for him to do, no way to move forward. The thought scared him more than he expected. He may not have been mad when he was dumped in here but it wouldn’t take too long for him to become so.

  Abruptly, renewed pain ricochet ed around Max’s skull. Different to that caused by the drug Hewitt had injected and far more acute. He cried out involuntarily and clutched the sides of his head, falling forwards onto his bed and gasping for breath. In his mind, he could hear screaming, wait . .. it wasn’t screaming, it wasn’t human at all. It was roaring and bellowing – the sound of anger and frustration and the hurt of being alone and left behind.

  ‘Martha?’ he managed.

  The howling pain ceased as abruptly as it had begun, leaving him with hollow echoes of sadness and confusion. He lay stunned for a while.

  ‘Don’t be frightened by it.’

  The even toned woman’s voice startled Max and he shot upright, almost falling off the bed. The woman with the twitching legs was looking at him.

  ‘By what?’

  She had a long, tired-looking face, deeply lined and framed by brown hair shot through with premature grey. She looked far older than she could possibly be.

  ‘By hearing your drake in your head. It isn’t what you think.’

  ‘What makes you think that’s what it was?’

  She stared at him pointedly. ‘I’m in Landfill? I know all the signs.’

  ‘But I’m not going through the Fall.’

  She smiled. ‘I know. It was clear from the moment you woke up and kept your eyes closed while you tried to work out where you were. That’s way too normal.’

  Max nodded. ‘Fair enough. Though you sound way too normal yourself.’

  ‘Ah, well . .. tell you what, come and sit with me and I’ll tell you all about it. I’d come to you but my legs have minds of their own. Think I might have the op to still them, the drugs aren’t working any more.’

  Max walked over and sat on her bed. ‘I’m Max Halloran,’ he said. ‘Inferno-X.’

  She raised her eyebrows. ‘Inferno-X, eh? You must have done something remarkably dim to get yourself chucked in here early. I’m Diana Kovlakis, formerly of Hammerclaw-K now an incumbent of the home-from-home that is the Chronic Neural Trauma ward, aka Landfill.’

  ‘Why aren’t you shouting and beating the wall down? There’s no way you need to be in here.’

  ‘That is a lovely sentiment, Max Halloran . . . Hal-X, right? Yeah, heard of you vaguely. Big mouth, I heard.’

  ‘Among other things,’ said Max, cracking a smile at last.

  ‘How old are you, Max?’

  ‘Twenty-three.’

  ‘Same as me, only I look fifty-three, don’t I? S’all right, I’m past being upset by my wrinkles and grey hair. Let me tell you a little secret. You’re feeling okay because you believe you’ll get out of here. When you realise you won’t, that’s when the shouting starts.’

  ‘But that doesn’t explain why you’re in here now. I get some of the others . . . but look at you . ..
’

  ‘Good days, bad days and mood stabilisers,’ said Diana. ‘They give us heaters too, but you have to be in here to get the treatment and believe me, I needed it. My mistake was thinking they’d let me go when I was stable again. Probably tells you how deluded I’d become.’

  ‘No. Never going to happen was it.’

  Dian smiled ‘Well, I’m hardly an advert for Hunter Killer pilot recruitment, am I? I don’t think I could cope on the outside now. Anyway I’m a research case, more useful to them here than out there. A lab rat, one in luxurious surroundings for a behemoth.’

  ‘They can’t do that.’

  ‘Who’s stopping them? We’re where we are, no one can visit us, and we’re so drugged half the time we can barely recall our names, let alone the affront to human rights that we represent.’

  Max couldn’t take it in. Everything he’d heard suggested no one went into Landfill until they were well into the decline . . . although Moeller was already interested in Kullani, so perhaps all he’d heard was wrong.

  ‘But you’re, you know . .. sane. Why can’t you protest? Surely someone will listen.’

  ‘I’m having a good day today and the balance seems to be right but it might not be like that tomorrow. Tomorrow I could be like Sarkovic or poor little Franny over there.’ She pointed at two of the occupied beds. ‘And even if I did protest, who’s listening? Who cares? I’m here for the greater good. There’s no danger of our protests being heard or leaked out, even if we voiced them. Can’t have anyone learn the truth. Can’t put off the recruits.’

  ‘But they are trying to cure you, right?’

  Another voice cut across the conversation, male this time, gruff and full of phlegm.

  ‘Of course they bloody aren’t. Why spend time trying to reverse somethin’ that don’t need reversin’ and killin’ us all in the process? Can’t change evolution, brother.’

  ‘What’s he talking about?’

  ‘The truth,’ said Diana. ‘But no one listens to us. We’re insane. Apparently.’ She rolled her eyes and flapped her hands.

  Max smiled. ‘I’m listening.’

  ‘Hey, Leitch?’ called Diana to the man. ‘You solid?’

  ‘Fuckin’ legs stopped workin’ and I’m freezin’. Hot head, but not hot enough to move the old pins. Yeah, I’m solid, my Grecian goddess of love.’

  ‘He’s a real charmer,’ said Diana quietly. ‘Luckily his paralysis stops him acting out the cruder of his fantasies. Mind you, I’ve paid him a visit every now and again. The treatments do amazing things for your libido.’

  ‘That’s the awful truth? Fall drugs make you desperate for sex?’

  Diana barked a laugh. ‘It’s the best and worst side effect.’

  ‘So what is the truth? You want me to guess?’

  ‘No. She wants me to tell you. Sayin’ the words gives her the shakes,’ said Leitch.

  Apparently even thinking about it was enough to make Diana’s hands shake. Her smile was suddenly thin and fragile.

  ‘Good days and bad days,’ she said. ‘Sometimes on the same day.’

  She turned back to her book without another word, though her hands were shaking enough that reading must surely be difficult. Max looked over at Leitch, who still sat in the same place. He looked awful. Pasty skin, a bad case of the shakes and straggly blond hair, most of which had fallen out. He could pass for fifty but he was probably no more than mid-twenties. He saw Max staring.

  ‘Treatment does it,’ he said. ‘Ages you faster n’ a drake can fly. I could do with some help gettin’ into bed. I’m cold, brother.’

  ‘Sure.’ Max patted Diana’s twitching legs and walked round to Leitch’s bed. He was already shuffling himself towards his pillows and Max moved his legs up onto the mattress and helped him under the sheets. ‘All right?’

  ‘Thanks, brother.’ He held out a shaking hand which Max grasped in both of his. It was warm to the point of sweaty. ‘Dylan Leitch, Flamehawk-G. I know who you are, I was listenin’.’

  ‘Good to meet you. That’s two of you in here who are pretty, you know . ..’

  ‘Sane . .. lucid?’ Leitch nodded. ‘Bit of a coincidence, eh? Not.’

  Leitch had wide, wild eyes and his smile was unsettling. Perhaps ‘sane’ was an exaggeration. He stared at Max for a long blink. Eventually, Max shrugged.

  ‘Go on, then, spill it.’

  ‘Where to start?’ He eyed Max suspiciously. ‘Can I trust you?’

  ‘Well I’ve been dumped in here because I called Kirby a lying sack of shit, does that help?’

  ‘Whoa . .. you know you’re never gettin’ out of here, right?’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘They mus’ already think you’ve sussed too much. I’m about to tell you the rest. If they were goin’ to let you go, they wouldn’t let us talk to you, brother.’

  Max had to fight to ignore that logic and to remain believing Valera and Inferno-X would see him safely back to the squad rooms.

  ‘Then there’s no harm in telling me everything is there?’ he said.

  ‘Guess not.’ He reached out and gripped Max’s shoulders. ‘The Fall don’t kill you.’

  ‘Bullshit. I saw it happen yesterday. Drake fell right out of the sky. Bang!’

  ‘That’s only cos the poor unfortunate was in the air when they fell. Listen, you don’t have to believe me. I’m in the Fall now, right? Talkin’ rubbish and descendin’ to gibber and drool. S’okay, I get it. But you’re goin’ to find out I’m right. When you’ve begun the Fall proper, it’s takin’ you from your drake makes you sick, and the drugs they give you in here speed you along graveyard road.’

  Max shook his head. ‘No . .. it’s not like that. They take over your mind until you’re not you any more. We all know that and we still fly. We all want to believe anything that would let us fly for longer but the facts are the facts.’

  ‘No. That’s what they want you to believe. When you get in here you know it’s a lie cos of all the things you heard and felt before they put you in here. And you should worry, cos they will treat you even though you ain’t sick yet, cos they need you to get sick to prove their lie.’

  Max swallowed hard. ‘They can’t do that to me.’

  ‘You heard Diana, they can do whatever the fuck they want. You do believe me, don’t you?’

  ‘About what?’

  ‘About the Fall.’

  ‘I don’t know what to believe any more.’

  ‘Well you have to believe me,’ said Leitch. ‘Look at me. Look at Diana. Not quite as mad as you assumed we’d be, eh? That’s proof, that is. The Fall’s not a disease, brother, it’s . . . progress.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘They link our minds and our bodies,’ said Leitch. ‘The drakes know it, they soothe our minds when the change starts and the heaters keep our bodies on the level. They talk to us, tell us it’s goin’ to be all right.’

  ‘So why did I see a pilot Fall yesterday? Explain that.’

  Leitch shrugged. ‘You can’t refuse to fly. Jus’ bad timin’ I guess.’

  Max wanted to laugh right in Leitch’s face. Tell him he sounded exactly as insane as everyone assumed those in Landfill were. But there was such belief in him. His eyes shone with it. The poor man was completely lost. Wasn’t he?

  ‘Drakes can’t talk.’ It was all Max could find to say.

  ‘Yes they can,’ whispered Diana, making Max start. ‘It starts with empathy. Sharing their emotions. But to begin with you don’t believe it. You think it’s you going insane but really it’s the beginning. You and your drake becoming like one.’

  ‘That’s just a myth,’ said Max quietly. ‘You know that deep down, right?’

  ‘I know that’s what I used to think,’ said Diana.

  ‘But you don’t know and we do,’ said Leitch, his tone impatient. ‘Why is it so hard to believe? You feel your drake all the time and we saw what happened to you just now. It’s no stretch for the emotions to become words and images you can und
erstand.’

  ‘What do they tell you?’ asked Max, hating himself for starting to believe them.

  Leitch glanced at Diana who had retreated back into herself, her shaking hands and her book. ‘That the only way you’ll both survive is to go throughthe Fall.’

  ‘No way. They tested it in the early days. Every jockey died with the drakes. Every time. No one’s mind or body is strong enough.’

  ‘Then they researched it wrong. You’ll know it for sure when they re-engineer your drake. The pain, brother . . . what you felt just now was like a splinter in your hand. S’like someone rippin’ out a part of you because that’s jus’ what they’re doin’. And you know your link with your drake? That’s what they steal from you when you get in here. S’what does your mind and body in and sends you into a tail spin to the grave.’

  Leitch whistled and whirled his fingers, crashing them into his sheets to illustrate his words.

  Max was battling hard to maintain a sense of balance. Everything Leitch said would mark him as losing his mind but he said it with such clarity, such passion it was hard not to believe him.

  ‘Why don’t you tell them? Make them do the research?’

  ‘You think we haven’t?’ said Diana. ‘We know what’s going on here, the other agenda. Having lab rats.’

  ‘Yeah but Leitch said they were trying to reverse the effects in you. Surely that’s an attempt to cure you?’

  ‘No,’ said Diana and there were tears on her cheeks. ‘Just to find ways to keep you flying for longer when the first symptoms of the Fall start.’

  Max shook his head. ‘You’re wrong on this one, really. I mean, the only drug that works is heaters, right? And it’s illegal. That’s going to apply to anything that blocks the Fall. They’re too scared of the consequences of apparent sudden onset.’

  The thought brought Kullani to mind and he feared for her if he didn’t get out. Feared that she’d be in here with him all too soon.

  ‘Tell yourself what you like,’ said Diana. ‘We were like you, don’t forget that. We believed the medics in here were soothing ruined minds. But we know what the drugs do. Trouble is, if we complain that we’re lab rats all that happens is the medics say we’re paranoid.’

  ‘I believe you.’ Max found himself saying.